C H A P T E R E L E V E N
“Papi, I don't know what to do!” Lila sobbed after having fallen onto her knees in front of Papi's gravestone. Surprisingly, it never felt weird to sit there and just talk to the stone. She felt as if she was talking to Papi, wherever he was. She hoped he was somewhere safe. She always imagined Papi's afterlife as somewhere where he could mine. Papi loved to mine for stones, that was what he always told her. He said it was like an adventure, like being a pirate. Searching for gold.
“I told Alpha Hart about the incident. He says he already knew, and I was surprised he hadn't pressurised me into talking about it. He did seem surprised by my reaction to it, but then no one really knew me apart from you, Mamaw and Justin.” Lila took a deep breath in, closing her eyes and listening to the rain hit the already muddy grass and her body. After her “talk” with Darren, she'd realised that she needed someone to talk to about the incident. Bottling it up and refusing to talk to anyone made Lila become a hollow shell, scared that people would find out. “You know, when it happened I was disgusted with myself. I refused to talk to people, I became more isolated. I did finish my year there, I managed. No one saw me go into the forest and I always wondered how... how no one could suspect me. Danielle didn't say anything, she had that knowing look.” Fresh tears dribbled down Lila's cheeks. Even though Papi wasn't there, it still felt good to talk to someone, or at least something about it. Papi was silent during her talks anyway, she just missed him giving her advice at the end.
“I've just moved back, and it's weird. I thought everything would have changed but it hasn't. Justin is still the same idiot as he was. I think the weird things are that you aren't here anymore and I've got some new friends... and a mate. You'd probably be thrilled. You always wanted me to be with someone who was adventurous... someone who could get me out of the house. Logan... Logan probably will. I...” Lila took in a shaky breath. She was going to do this, she was going to finally say out loud everything that had been cooped up inside her head. Otherwise she'd suffocate. “I think I'll get closer to him and get him and Justin to get on better before I break the news to him. You know how Justin is.” Lila sniffled, wiping away tears. She scrunched up her nose when she fall on her backside, realising that now her knees and her butt would be filled with mud.
Lila just sat there in front of Papi's grave for the rest of the evening. When she realised that the temperature had dropped sharply, she realised she should go back. She'd just recovered from a fever and getting pneumonia wouldn't help her. She stood up and glanced over the grave before starting to recite the poem her and Justin would always say before leaving the cemetery.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.” Lila smiled before walking off, wishing she'd taken an umbrella because she was going to be soaked by the time she got home.
~ * ~
Lila grunted as she heard her phone sing. She'd got her first night of a peaceful sleep and now she was being woken up? Lila swore the person at the end of the phone was going to get a headache by the time she'd finished with them!
“What?” She snapped harshly into the phone, before coughing because she'd strained her voice.
“Someone's cranky this morning.” She heard the oh-so-cheery sound of Missy's voice. Lila checked the time to see that it was eight in the morning... she swore that she wore a murderous expression.
“Well, seeming as you woke me up at eight...” Lila growled. She really wasn't a morning person, especially if she was woken up.
“I was just wondering if you – stop it Jace! - if you wanted to meet up so you could tell me what happened?” Missy giggled and it was clear to Lila what she was doing.
“Right, I'll call you later then...” Lila trailed off pulling the phone away from her ear. She heard a few giggles before she heard Missy shout.
“No! No you stay on the phone!” Lila groaned before pulling the phone back to her ear and flopping over to lie on her back.
“Wha-a-at?” She moaned, stretching the word out.
“I am going to come over at eleven and we're going to go out shopping for the party tonight. I'm getting you dressed up to look nice for L- that special someone.” Missy told Lila who rolled her eyes.
“I've got plenty of dresses.”
“I'm giving you a make over. We're having a girly day even though we've already had a few. Ta-ta, bye!” Missy cheerfully said before turning the phone off before Lila could even mutter a word.
“Stupid Missy.” Lila groaned, letting her phone fall to the floor with a light 'thump'. She rolled over, again, onto her stomach before falling back to sleep.
“Get up! Get up! The sun is shining and we're all going out!” Lila dug her face deeper into her pillow as she heard Missy shriek. What was up with this girl? “Lila!” Lila felt hands try to grab her and she swatted them away before grumbling.
“Go away.” She muffled into the pillow, trying to find a comfier position. She felt hands grab her blankets and rip it away from her. She let out a squeak before bolting up right and into a sitting position.
“Wow! This is a pretty picture.” She heard Blake guffaw before she turned and glared evilly at him.
“Get out. All of you.” Lila pointed to her door, and she heard groaning.
“We just got here! You aren't really going to kick us out, are you?” Daniel begged and Lila sighed in desperation.
“Yes. Now out!” She shooed everyone away with her hands before side rolling out of her bed. Dragging her feet to her wardrobe she thought about what to wear. It was the beginning of December, and even though she didn't feel the cold as much as she a werewolf, they still did feel the cold sometimes. Especially when it was freezing. Grabbing some leggings and large wooly jumper (which would fall down to mid-thigh) she walked out, picking out random underwear.
“Alright, I'm ready.” Lila cheered, unenthusiastically. She didn't fancy going out today. All she'd wanted to do was wallow in her own self-pity and try and figure out all the information she'd been given. Some people might have wanted a distraction, but Lila? No, she wanted to figure it out.
“Wallowing in self-pity won't help. Get out.” Evangeline demanded Lila.
Oh yes, because YOU are the one who has to be overloaded with all this information. If I die, I die, you get to go find some other host to live in.
“Don't be like that. You control me, if I had my way-”
If you had your way we'd be with Logan. I. Know. Can you just shush about that for a second... please? I'm the one who has to deal with everything, seeming as you've had God knows how long to deal with this... this crap! So just let me be, okay? Silence surrounded Lila in her head, and she guessed her wolf was giving her the space she needed.
“Ready to go?” Lila smiled at her crew and for the first time today she mentally thanked Missy for dragging her out.
-------------------------------------
Short chapter! But the next chapter is the party... and the make over :}There might be a little bit of Logan in it too ;)
Uh not sure who the poem is by... but if you Google the first line, it'll come up! (I really like that poem, it was mentioned on Desperate Housewives!)
Almost 1,000 reads! W-O-W :D
(If you'd read this before and all the writing was bunched together, I'm so sorry! I think my Wattpad messed up ;s)