Thank God For Girls

By NeverCatchMe

9.3K 2K 479

Fairly Feminine poems about Ferociously Feminist things in a Frequently Figurative way. ------------------ ... More

A/N
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The Girl
In The Pastry Shop
With The Net In Her Hair
Is Making
A Cannoli
For You
To Take
On Your Hiking Trip
In The Woods
With Your Bros
That You've Known
Since Second Grade
And You May
Encounter
Dragons And Ruffians
And Be Called Upon
To Employ
Your Testosterone
In A Battle
For Supremacy
And Access
To Females
Glued To The TV
And Even If
You Are Victorious
You May Recieve
Many
Cuts
Bruises
And Scrapes
And You Will
Require
Band Aids
And Antiseptic Ointments
And Tender
Loving
Kisses
On Your Stab Wounds
And When You Come Home
She Will Be There
Waiting For You
With A
Fire In Her Eyes
And A Big Fat Cannoli
To Shove
In Your Mouth
And That's Why You
Thank God For Girls
Holla Jesu Christe
From Tennessee To LA
Thank God
For Girls
On Your Reckoning Day
You Better
Bow Down
And Pray
She's So Big
She's So Strong
She's So Energentic
In Her Sweaty Overalls
Thank God For Girls
I'm So Glad
I Got A Girl
To Think Of
Even Though
She Isn't Mine
I Think About Her
All The Day
And All The Night
It's Enough
To Know
That She's Alive
She Says
I Give
Her Sweaty Palms
She Almost
Had a Heart Attack
The Truth Is
That I'm Just As Scared
I Don't Know
How To Act
I Wish
That I Could
Get To Know Her
Better
But
Meeting Up
In Real Life
Would Cause
The Illusion
To Shatter
I Carved
Her Name
Into All
The Trees
Sang A Song
Down
On One Knee
Looking At
The Underwear Page Of The Sears Catalog
Like
When I Was Fourteen
I'm Levitating
Like A Magnet
Turned The Wrong Way
Around
I'm Like An Indian Fakir
Tryna' Meditate
On A Bed Of Nails
With My Pants Pulled Down
God
Took
A Rib
From
Adam
Ground It Up In A Centrifuge Machine
Mixed It
With Cardamom And Cloves
Microwaved It
On The
Popcorn Setting
While Adam Was Like
"That Really Hurts"
Going Off
Into The Tundra
So Pissed At God
And He Started
Lighting
Minor
Forest Fires
Osprey Eggs
Messing With
The Bees
Who Were Trying
Pollinate The Echinacea
Until God Said
"I'ma Smite You With Loneliness"
"And Break"
"Your Heart"
"In Two"
And Adam Wept And Wailed
Tearing Out His Hair
Falling On His Knees
Looked
To The Sky
And Said
"Thank God"
**THANK GOD FOR GIRLS**

Stealing

26 10 2
By NeverCatchMe


She was young

Fourteen, almost fifteen

Her shirt clung

To her new-found body

Her shorts hiked up

On her sun kissed skin

With her makeup

On to impress her kin

She was just walking along

Innocent and clean

She didn't know the world

Could be so mean

She didn't ask for this

She wasn't giving it to you;

You were stealing it.

XXX

Amanda Seyfried

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