I haven't casted Kyle so for the heck of it, I'm just going to do just that.
Gif above is Noah Centineo! ;D
Oh and...
Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to Zara! Happy birthday to me!
Cheeky double update for y'all ;) <3
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"Looks like your New Years turned out okay in the end." Kyle chuckled as he toyed with the bedsheets beneath him, fiddling with the buttons with his long fingers.
"Yeah, I guess so." I shrugged, "but I am not giving Ben a free pass, he still needs to earn my trust."
"Makin' him work, good play, dude." He laughed.
"Kyle!" I chastised, "don't say that, you're making it sound like I'm some sort of monster that's stringing Ben along."
"You sort of are, he's apologised like sixty times, and I've witnessed it! He's so sincere."
"Or, he's just a good actor." I smirked, "I just don't feel that he should be forgiven yet, what he did really hurt."
I sighed and leaned my bad against the headboard, the metal posts shook and hit the wall a few times as I moved around to get myself comfortable. Just weeks ago, Ben was sat here with me, we were watching Texas Chainsaw, he found out I had his CD and I kept denying how good it was. It was really good.
Speaking of said CD, Ben had found out I had snapped the thing in two and he got me a new one, it was nice of him but I did hate losing because I didn't want to just be one the band's fans, I didn't even want him to know I actually liked the music.
His album was complete, but he hasn't made it public yet, so that's a little annoying since the entire EP was of just Ben and his guitar. Man, I'd dream about Ben playing his guitar for me, serenading me and-
Fuck these feelings.
Prom. I remember the night so vividly that it's almost as if I'm totally obsessed with it, but it really was a night to remember, especially with all the events that went on between me and other people.
I could remember him just sat up on the stage wearing his cute little white bow tie and white converses that weren't actually that white back then, instead, they were a dull white, almost grey and they were ratty as hell. He had gracefully draped his guitar over his lap, as if it was a baby, and he delved into his pocket to take his plectrum out, it was blue. The way he sang, how he practically lived and breathed every meaning in every song, making it sound completely genuine and crazily emotional.
"Kyle, can we talk about something else? How was your New Years? How's... What's his name, Jordan?"
"Will. His name is Will." Kyle grunted. I just rolled my eyes at how he expects me to know every single one of his boyfriend's names. I'm pretty sure he once dated a Jordan, so it's not like I was wrong.
"He's fine, he's back at our flat in London and I'm all the way here, but I had to visit my parents at some point, right?"
"What's wrong with your parents?" I raised a brow. Did something happen? Why haven't I heard about it? As far as I know, they're ridiculously good parents.
"Nothing is wrong, but I haven't seen them in ages because I went to Will's family house over the holidays and I really miss him, he had work unfortunately."
It was just so admirable how much he missed his boyfriend, I've never been like that, I've never had a relationship where being apart from your lover, even just for a day, makes you feel as if you haven't seen them for eons. There was Marcia, but we had an open relationship and missing her would make me seem weak and vulnerable, so I chose to fight it.
I smiled to him and played with this stupid bracelet I had on my wrist, I can't believe that I still wear it, the concept behind it was that it showed that I was a valued member of a certain clique at the school I attended, it was a token that you'd give away to the ones you love and I had never given mine away before.
My heart was stolen by Ben, so it's not like I could've it away to Marcia. If I hadn't loved Ben, I still wouldn't shift my decision; Marcia and I were in an open relationship and I didn't want to seem clingy. It was only on Prom night that I had found out she wanted to be exclusive, and that was much too late.
I stared at the small ornate details on it and traced the snake embellishment with my stubby fingers, the metal felt cold under my touch.
"One day you'll give it away, even though it'll be absolutely meaningless." Kyle chortled.
I thought over his words and it felt like I was taking hours to process them, it might've been because we're not doing anything that'll make time seem fast, we were just sitting in my room and he's been here for ages, so time seemed to feel incredibly slow.
"No." I started, staring down again at the bracelet. "I don't want to give it away, it's childish."
"Dude, it doesn't just serve as something significant in school! It also gets you into societies at university, secret ones." He explained, I furrowed my brows in confusion. I do recall my friend, Calvin, telling me something of the sort, but I just thought he was lying in an attempt to hype up this stupid thing. Whatever it's called. If it were up to me, I'd call it a cult.
"No, I don't want this to interfere with university, if I ever go back I mean." I pursed my lip and stared at the boy in front of me, his wild, untameable brown hair poked out in places it really shouldn't and his fringe flopped over his eyes- he's never liked getting his hair cut, so it gets so long and then suddenly, it's all chopped off again and left to grow out all over again.
This bracelet, the cult, the society, the lifestyle - it just wasn't for me. I didn't want to have this thing on me that automatically redeems me as this superior human being. I wanted to be normal, and this certain bracelet wasn't helping in achieving that.
I'd usually enjoy being put on a pedestal, but times change and I don't think I want to be apart of that life anymore.
Being able to get into these exclusive clubs, being recognised and having girls fawn over you was good for a short while, especially when Marcia and I were sorta dating, sorta not dating.
Obviously, having my heart squashed in Ben's fist and then having it thrown on the floor only to be stepped on by him wasn't a situation I'd like to mope around from, nope, it was an opportunity to do everything in my will power to shove it to the back of my mind.
As ethereal as I pictured him to be, he was the opposite, at least only to people he didn't like. Somehow loving in made me look past this heavily guarded, sometimes abysmal personality.
Musing over it now, I felt the need to thwack myself over the head.
"When are you heading back to London?" I asked Kyle, snapping myself back to reality. He was shooting me the most confused expression, but it disappeared when he saw I was no longer in a daze.
"Day after tomorrow." He answered, I could see him smiling to himself. It was cute, not just his smile, but the fact it shone brightly at the mere thought of reuniting with Jordan— I mean Will, again.
"It's funny." I started, "How things turned out in the end."
"Damn right."
"Ben, of all people, Ben! Oh, and Zach with Jace, I wasn't actually sure they'd last after school was over, they're like polar opposites."
"You're talking to me about polar opposites?"
"Ben and I aren't that different, surprisingly-" I started saying, but I was cut off when Casey walked into the room.
Her blonde hair was wet- frizzy as heck, and her choice of wardrobe was pretty much the same as what she always wore; her black t-shirts, jumpers and band tops were endless, and it surprised me that she was always complaining about not having enough clothes.
"Hey, Casey." Kyle greeted with some kind of pathetic wave, his hand lazily dropped to his side, as if he was reading my mind at this very moment and knew that his wave was awkward.
"Hi." she said, then trained her eyes on the both of us, "dinner's ready, but Kyle, my mum says to change in your pyjamas first, she doesn't like how tight your jeans are."
I burst out laughing, there wasn't any hint of humour or amusement on his face but that only made me laugh more. Casey was stood idly by the doorway, trying her best to stifle her giggles. Her lips twitched as she internally fought herself, and in the end, the laughs won.
Kyle rolled his eyes and stood up but as he was doing so, the sound of denim being torn apart filled the room, "My jeans aren't that- oh."
"I'm just going to meet you at the dinner table." I chuckled, standing up from my bed and joining Casey in the doorway, "I left your overnight back by my desk."
He nodded curly at me, his face was completely flushed, his ears as red as a tomato. I followed Casey down the stairs and we took our seats at the dining table.
"You'll never guess what!" Dad said ecstatically, I raised my brow at him. "Guess!"
"Uh..." I trailed off. The grin that was plastered on his face dropped and he rolled his eyes.
He delved into his pocket and fished out what looked like strips of paper, they glistened in the light as he waved them around frantically.
"I finally got the tickets for the dance competition, second row!" He gleamed, I smiled at the excitement on his face. Dad was like that, he tended to get so easily excited so it's no mystery where I got that from.
"Also, we finally got the wedding invite in the post! This is all so exciting, we need to take Wendy and Tasha out-"
"Dad don't you think they're under enough stress? Maybe after the wedding would be a better time." I explained as if he was a child, which he pretty much was sometimes.
Kyle finally came down the stairs wearing sweatpants and the polo shirt he had been earlier today.
He took a seat next to me at the dining table and took the spoon for the food, not even realising none of us had starting eating yet - but that was okay, Kyle was like that, and I wanted to eat instead of talk and see Karen's guilty face across the table.
It had been a while, I know, but what she did was completely wrong in so many ways. I hated the fact that part of me was glad, for it bought Ben and I closer together - something I'd never imagine in a million years. What Karen did completely tore me apart, it's as if her intention was to hurt me and let me tell you, she definitely succeeded in that.
The rest of the dinner consisted of small talk and excitement over the upcoming wedding, Casey was already talking about the exact outfit she wanted, she was over the moon when she was asked to be a bridesmaid and Wendy and Tasha explained that they want Casey to have a custom made dress, her face looked almost pained when she just had to grin more upon hearing the reception in the evening was fairytale themed with actual white horses that pull the carriages.
I wasn't too sure about how I felt. I did like dressing up in bow ties and waistcoats, but I don't think I was prepared to see Ben dressed up in a bow tie and waistcoat, I'd probably be fawning all over him throughout the entirety of the event with drool dribbling out my mouth and hearty eyes.
Just imagining it was making me feel all weird inside, I'd imagined him wearing a navy waistcoat, that was a nice colour on him because it bought out his blonde hair and the green in his eyes. A pink peony was on the left side of his chest and of course, to add to his style, he had on his signature tattered converses with the laces undone.
I found myself smiling a little, but as soon as I noticed, I stifled it instantly.
Kyle and I headed back upstairs after helping to tidy up the kitchen. I quickly slipped into my pyjamas and sat up on my bed, underneath my duvet.
"Let's watch a film." Kyle grinned and made himself comfortable under my duvet.
"Like what?"
"What about something scary? That way, if you get scared, you can cuddle up to me." He chortled, I rolled my eyes at him and searched for some horror films on my laptop.
"I watched Texas Chainsaw with Ben a while ago, he seemed so scared. Wouldn't expect that from a guy like him, right?" I chuckled. Kyle didn't say anything, which was a little freaky since Kyle always had something to say, whatever it may be.
The idiot was smirking right at me when I turned to face him.
"What? You're doing that smirk you do when you know something that I don't."
"You can tell that from my smirk?" He raised a brow.
"You have a bunch of smirks, and that one you did means you know something that you think I know but I really don't."
"Never mind." I shook my head, "Ben has a similar look, but it usually means 'you have ten seconds to shut up or you'll regret it' which is pretty scary."
"Is that so." He mused, I pursed my lips and looked to Kyle with no amusement whatsoever, matching the same expression he had.
"Stop with that smirk!" I exasperated.
"Ok, look, you always have something to compare to Ben, which is weird considering-"
"You always do that with Will." I finished for him. Believe me, I've noticed, and it does get rather annoying.
"Yeah! Like, you'd find me droning on about my boyfriend and making the entire conversation one-sided. You do that with Ben but he's not your boyfriend, is he?"
"No! Of course not Kyle. I think you've lost the plot."
He smirked again.
Rolling my eyes and shaking my head to myself, I continued my film search and finally settled on The Purge. I'd heard good reviews about this film, so I've been meaning to watch it for quite some time now.
The movie started, but as I was trying to immerse myself into it, I felt eyes on me, deprecating and judgmental ones.
I pressed the space bar in anger to pause the film and looked to Kyle, feeling rather annoyed.
"Are you sure he's not your boyfriend."
"Kyle, I think I'd know who I'm in a relationship with." I rolled my eyes.
"Okay, but, do you like him?"
"No!" I hissed.
"Okay." He shrugged, "I believe you."
"Good."
"You never told me what happened when he stayed over on New Years."
I ran a hand down my face in irritancy. "Kyle...."
"Sorry! If nothing happened, there's no problem with telling me, right?"
"Right..." I trailed off. Shit, what do I say? I can't tell him what actually happened, nor can I lie to my best friend! Kyle was one sneaky snake, he was hot on my tail, it's like he already knew what happened, but he just wanted me to admit it.
I guess having a boyfriend that was currently doing a masters in psychology was actually beneficial for him.
"Nothing happened, there's nothing to say." I saved.
"Really? Come on Flynn, that's so odd even for you." he chuckled.
"It's Ben, okay? If you're thinking about me doing something sexual, then you must be thicker than I thought."
"Flynn! Come on, you must be thick because you're actually hanging around with him as if you've been mates for years and last I remember, he wanted nowt to do with you at school."
I grinned at him, not saying anything and instead turning back to my laptop, part of me didn't really want to talk about this, but this other part of me wanted to just belt out how much I liked Ben's company and the small jolts of excitement whenever I thought about him.
"How about we watch The Conjuring instead?" I asked, turning to face Kyle. He bit his lip and in one swift movement, reached over me to grab my phone from my bedside table, I would've been able to stop him if it weren't for the heavy laptop on my lap that I really didn't want flying across the room.
"You know, '1234' isn't a suitable password for your phone." he snickered. I rolled my eyes at him and stretched my hand out in an attempt to grab my phone, but Kyle just stretched his farther away from me so I couldn't reach it.
"Your last message to Ben was last night? Dude, late night chatting never ends well."
I chuckled. "It was nothing, he left something here."
"Pssht, yeah, like his pants or something."
"Why are you so convinced we're having sex? He's not gay, nor one of those types of guys that obsess over sex."
"Really? Huh, that's surprising. considering this unread text from him says 'figured me all out yet, Hopper?' and then he added two of those smirking emoticons. Sound a bit cheeky if you ask me."
My face flushed just thinking about all the scenarios Kyle could be making up in that sexually invested mind of his when in reality, it wasn't all that sexual - what Ben was getting at is whether or not i've figured out his sexuality, which I haven't, yet.
"He's just a tad bit worried that we're becoming really good friends rather than just friends." I saved, albeit, a little pathetically.
"Alright, if you say so." Kyle trailed off, his voice raising a little towards the end. "If I didn't have Will and he and I were on good terms, I'd totally bang him."
"KYLE!" I screamed, chucking a pillow at him. I felt my face heat up, a hammer in my chest thudded against me repeatedly, I was probably the one looking like a tomato now.