A Year of Stories (Collection...

By sbspalding

7.8K 764 243

The goal: A new short story, every weekday, for a year. That's about 260 stories, for anyone keeping count... More

The Perfect Spot to Watch the World Burn
Temporal Crisis Hotline
Last Words at the End of the World
After I Met Amanda
A Dragon and Her Horde
A Brand New Sister
The Huntress of the Wilds
The Game Show
The Practical Concerns of a Modern Vampire
Waking Up on the Wrong Side of History
The Sword in the Center of Dulwain
Dear Mrs. Livingstone, My Son Is Dead
And First There Is The Sound
Busy, A Love Story
The Champions of the God Isles
Excerpts From the Journal of a Minor God
A Letter From Me to Me
Give Me A Call Back
Alec and Abigale's Cooking Adventure
The One Asking the Questions
Moon Blue Eyes
A Word With My Muse
A Little, Blue Bird
Thinking Of Snow Men
Tread Lightly As You Enter
You Have Her Hair
All We Have is Music
Missing, One Cat
Pompeii Anger
Crowning A King
Computer Troubles at Ashfert Partners
Neuyou's Return Policy
The Text Said, "I'm Leaving."
A Touch of Indigestion
Little Red
They Say I Dream Too Loudly
Why I Left Home
Uncle Xavier's Ultra High Potency Miracle Cure All
Flesh and Ink and Beating Hearts
Memories Like a Knife
Be Careful What You Wish For
It's Our Pleasure to Inform You
Never Enough Time
Hero For Hire
The New Candidate
Lost And Found At Sea
Original Frosted Sugar Fun Explosion
Collection Three Is Available
Collection Four Now Available

I Never Pick Up My Phone

100 13 0
By sbspalding

I never pick up my phone.

I mean, never.

No, not even if I know whose calling.

No, not even if it's a text message.

I used to check my voicemail about once a month, just to make sure I hadn't missed anything, but I've stopped that too.

It's not that I'm paranoid – I'm not afraid of telemarketers, stalkers, lizard people trying to hijack my brain through the cellular signal – none of that bothers me.

Well, that last one does, just a little bit.

I'm also not taking some kind of stand. There is no "Man" I'm trying to stick it too. I don't belong to some lobby or think tank working to strong arm the government into changing its policy on two-way communication between consenting humans. I neither own an axe, nor have any desire to grind one.

I actually like phones, I like them quite a lot.

I pay for this thing with my cellular provider, so that every year I can trade in my old brick, for a shiny new one with all the latest bits and bobs.

I mostly use them to watch videos of cats and take pictures of my food, which makes me happier than it really should.

What doesn't make me happy is picking up my phone.

The reason is pretty simple.

If I pick up my phone, I have to talk to people, and people scare me more than anything else in this world.

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