*Formatting got all messed up so I had to re-load the content, which means the comments all got erased. Boooo :(
By the time I got to work, I had calmed down slightly, but was still pretty upset. Too much had happened today for me to forget, nearly all of it involving Harry. I started to wonder if I would be this upset if I hadn't spent nearly all of yesterday with him. I was ashamed to admit that no, I probably wouldn't care. I maybe would have even laughed with everyone, a thought that sickened me. The sad thing was, I couldn't remember for sure if I had laughed at him in the past, not differentiating him from any of Colt's other victims or Lydia's snide comments, Haley's judgmental glares. Odds were, I probably had gone right along with it, even if I hadn't said anything myself. The thought made my stomach churn. How could I ever had let them say and do those things to anyone, let alone Harry, who was so sweet? Work passed quickly while I was distracted by my self-loathing.
Before I knew it, it was time for me to go home. Upon arrival, I went straight upstairs to take a shower and climb into bed. My sleep was fitful and unsteady, guilt eating me up inside. When I woke up in the morning, I felt as though I had hardly slept. The only motivation I had for getting ready was the fact that I would see Harry first period, and the fact that I would see him after school. But when I got to class and sat next to Harry again, he barely said a word to me. He muttered a quiet, "Hi" before returning to his textbook he had been flipping through. When I asked him questions, he simply nodded yes or no, occasionally mumbling an answer. When the bell rang, I was feeling extremely dejected that we hadn't had more interaction. He was out the door before I could say two words to him, much less confirm that our plans were still on. At lunch, I once again didn't say anything to my friends. Any thoughts I had of joining Harry today were rejected because of how he had acted this morning in class. I did, however, need to make sure we were still on for after school, so I pulled my phone out of my bag and brought up his number. Holding my phone close to my face so no one would read it, I texted him.
J: Hey Harry, just wanted to know if we're still on for after school? We still have a lot of the project to do
I'd added the last bit to make it sound like I was focused on the project, which was something I thought would make him less likely to blow me off. Not so patiently, I stared at my phone waiting for him to reply. However, by the time lunch ended, I had received no word from him. It wasn't until halfway through the last period of the day that I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Slipping it out, I saw that Harry had finally texted me back.
H: Yes.
Yes. Yes was all he had said, but it was enough to make me smile. At least I would still get to see him today, even if he was being odd. I decided right then that I would ask him what was up, even if he tried to avoid it. Bouncing in my seat, I couldn't wait for class to be over. As soon as it was, I practically leapt from my seat, not even stopping at my locker so I could make it to my car before the traffic got too bad.
Today when I pulled up to my house, my front step was empty of any lanky, dark haired boys. Once inside, I paced around my kitchen, impatient for Harry to arrive. I was about to move to the living room to continue my pacing when I heard a soft knock on the front door. All but sprinting to answer it, I flung the door open to see him standing there, neutral expression changing to slightly shocked at the aggressive way I opened the door. Despite his behavior earlier, I couldn't help but grin when I saw him. "Harry!"
"Joey!" he said, imitating my excited tone before making his way through the door inside my house. He kicked off his shoes, only slightly more graceful this time than the first, causing me to giggle again. "You're hyper," he noted.
"I'm just so excited about our project," I said sarcastically, causing him to grin slightly. "Shall we head up to my room?"
"What, no brownies today?" he asked, grinning lopsidedly, one corner of his lips turning up. He seemed to be in a much better mood than he had been earlier.
"Would you like some?" I asked, hoping to keep him in such a good mood.
"No, no, I was just kidding," he said, still smiling, dimples intact.
"Alright, so, room?" I asked him, causing him to swallow nervously. Even in this inexplicably happy state, he was still overcome by nerves at the thought of being alone in my room again. He simply nodded a few times, lips pressed together in a kind of anxious grimace. I cocked my head a bit at him before turning to go up the stairs, him following behind me. Once we got in my room, I couldn't help myself any longer. "So, Harry, what was up with you this morning?"
"Um, wh..what do you mean?" he pretended like he didn't know what I meant.
"You barely said two words to me."
"Oh, um, I just didn't know what to say after... you know... what happened in the parking lot..." he trailed off, obviously embarrassed that I had brought it up.
"You don't have to say anything, Harry. People were being dicks and I had to say something. That's it."
"Yeah, I know, it's just... I don't want you to feel like you need to protect me or anything. I'm fine on my own," he said, not looking at me.
I frowned. "I know you don't need me to, I just wanted to," I said matter-of-factually. He just shrugged at me, and I got the feeling like there was more to it than what he said. "You're not embarrassed, are you? That I stuck up for you?" He shuffled his feet as I asked, which told me I was right. He was embarrassed that the "popular girl" had had to come to his rescue not once, but twice. "Harry, that's ridiculous. You don't need to be embarrassed about that."
"It's just... I don't know. I've dealt with it so long that I'm just used to dealing with it on my own. Not that I don't appreciate what you did, because that was really nice of you. I just don't want you to feel like you have to." It was the most I had ever heard him say at one time, and it broke my heart. Here he was, telling me he was so used to being picked on that it felt strange to have someone on his side.
"But I do want to, so you're not on your own anymore, Harry, okay?" I replied, heart beating a little harder in my chest. He just looked down at me and nodded, a small smile on his lips, as if he didn't quite fully trust me, but wanted to. "Great, now that we've got that out of the way, we can move on!" I clapped my hands together and bounced on the balls of my feet, grinning up at him once again. I crossed over to my desk, where my laptop sat open. I pulled up iTunes and started playing one of my recent favorite bands, The 1975. Upon hearing one of their songs, Harry perked up.
"You listen to The 1975?" he asked, a surprised expression on his face.
"No, I just have them on my iTunes," I smirked at him, answering his obvious question.
"Well I just mean they don't seem like your type of music is all," he answered shyly.
"Oh really? And what type of music would you say is 'mine'?" I asked, amused now.
"Um... like you know... Pink and Ke$ha and stuff. What's on the radio?" he finished in a question, as if doubting what he had assumed more and more by the second.
I grimaced at his guess. "Oh god, no! Harry, I am ashamed that's what you think of me!"
This earned me an actual laugh from him. "Well I'm sorry madam; never again shall I mistake you for a mindless music drone."
"Why thank you, good sir," I grinned at our suddenly formal tone, loving this new banter we had slowly developed. He sat down on the foot of my bed, pulling his bag toward him and suggesting we start working. Sighing, I agreed, even though that was the last thing I wanted to do. After about an hour, I got a text from my mother saying she had to work late and that I was on my own for dinner. This didn't surprise me; she often worked late, loving her job far too much and never saying no to extra shifts. I informed Harry of this, trying to tempt him into a conversation that didn't revolve around biology, but he shrugged me off, diligently working on the project. Once again, I found myself distracted by his features. Today it was his lips. They were pouted out in his concentration, fullness rivaling my own. Their deep pink color was one to be envied by all, as was the natural curve they seemed to have along his chin. They were slightly parted now as he worked on looking something up. Every once in a while, his tongue would dart out and wet his lips, or his teeth would catch on to his lower lip and drag it in for a few seconds. All of this was mesmerizing, and more than enough to keep me from working.
"Joey," he said. Seeing his beautiful lips form my name nearly gave me a heart attack. They seemed to curve around the feel of the word, releasing it carefully into the air.
"Yes, Harry?"
"You're not doing anything," he said with a slight smirk.
"Yes I am," I said, my heart speeding up a little, thinking of confessing exactly what I had been doing. He turned to look at me skeptically. I met his eyes and gave him a cheesy grin which he did not return. He simply shot me a sarcastic look. "You never answered me, by the way."
He groaned, not even bothering to pretend like he didn't know what I meant. "I know."
"Well?" I urged.
"Well what? Ha-have I ever wanted to kiss someone?"
"Yes."
He hesitated, eyes searching mine as if to make sure I wasn't mocking him. "I have."
"Why didn't you?" I asked, intrigued, leaning forward, eyes dancing on his.
"I-I didn't know if she wanted me to."
"Will you tell me who it was?"
"No."
"Why not?" I asked, pouting out my bottom lip. He just looked at me, expression almost unreadable. "If I guess, will you tell me?"
He thought about that for a second before deciding and nodding slowly, continuing to look at me. From the way he was staring, I was pretty sure I knew. It was me. He wanted to kiss me. And god, did I want to kiss him. I hadn't admitted it to myself until just now, but I think I decided basically the first moment I began examining him.
"Do you want to kiss me, Harry?" I asked, deciding not to waste time with guesses I knew were wrong. He gulped, and I could see his Adam's apple bob in his throat.
He looked me in the eyes as he quietly said, "Yes."
*****
Thank you to everyone who's read so far! Feel free to leave any comments or whatever you like :)