Always

Chapter 72

It was still dark when I woke up.  Despite his careful movements, Harry had woken me up as he attempted to untangle himself from me.  Currently, he was working on releasing his leg that had somehow become trapped between mine.

“Harrrryyy,” I grumbled, nuzzling my face into his chest, which was still thankfully close.  “Don’t go.”  I knew he had to leave, of course.  What with getting busted only last night, he couldn’t very well get caught sneaking over to sleep at my house.  I knew that, but that didn’t stop me from hating it. 

“Shhh, I’m sorry, love.  I have to,” he whispered, his voice sounding twice as deep as it usually did in the early morning.  

“No,” I said stubbornly, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him to me as he gave up attempting to separate us.  His long arms wound around my torso to hug me back. 

“I don’t want to,” he mumbled into my hair.  My face pressed into his neck, where I let my lips place a tiny kiss on his skin.  My eyes were closed, hoping that maybe if I refused to wake up he’d give in and stay, even though I knew he couldn’t. 

“So stay,” I coaxed.

“I can’t, love.”

I sighed heavily, knowing he was right. 

“I wish you could.”

“So do I.  Someday, babe.”

“Someday, what?” I asked, perking my head out of his warm neck, suddenly intrigued. 

“Someday we won’t have to sneak around to sleep together.  We’ll just have our own place and no one will care,” he replied, a soft smile forming on his lips.  He was looking at me, but his eyes seemed distant, as if he was happily picturing the future where that could be a possibility.  “And then I’ll stay.”

“You really mean that?” I asked hopefully.  That sounded absolutely perfect to me, and I wanted it right now, despite it not being a current possibility.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed quietly, kissing my forehead.  “We’re closer, at least.  We graduate in a month after all.”

A sudden jolt of panic flooded through me.  It was something I had refused to even think about up until now: the looming threat of colleges and the high chance we would not go to the same one.  I didn’t even want to think about it, much less discuss it so early in the morning when all I wanted to do was snuggle into his chest. 

“Yeah…” I said quietly, hoping he wouldn’t press on the subject.  I needed time to think about how I would handle it if we didn’t end up going to the same place.  Without a doubt, I knew we would stay together, it would just be so incredibly hard if we were at different schools.  A chill ran through me that I tried to suppress, but failed to stop the tiny shudder that came along with it.

Harry wasn’t fooled by my attempts at being discreet, because he felt the shiver that ran through my body and noticed my evasive tone.  He squeezed his arms around me, sliding his palms up my back before looking me in the eye, much more present now than he had been a second ago.

“What’s that about?” he asked quietly, peering at me.

“Ah we don’t have to talk about it now,” I replied, still fairly certain I was not ready to have this conversation. 

“Babe, what is it? Just tell me,” he coaxed.

“It’s just… what are we going to do next year? What if we don’t go to the same school? How are we gonna deal with that? ‘Cause I can already tell you now it’s going to kill me to be away from you.  Like I can’t even fall asleep anymore without you here and you live three houses away,” I gushed, clearly needing to talk about it even more than I realized.