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Trust me
Chapter 5- Words can hurt
Edward’s POV
I knew Jacob did not want me, or any of us, to hear him speak to his father, but my curiosity got the better of me. After I left the room, I closed the door and stood to the side, listening to all the sounds around me, from Jacob’s anxious breathing to my family conversing downstairs.
I waited patiently for Jacob’s father to pick up the phone, which I could hear ringing through my mobile from inside Carlisle’s office.
“Hello?” Billy Black said urgently, evidently expecting someone to call him regarding the whereabouts of his son.
Jacob paused for a moment, and I could see the sadness and fear in his thoughts- he hated that his father was so worried about him.
“Dad, it’s me,” was all he could say.
“Jake?” Billy asked in disbelief, but didn’t wait for a reply. In the background I could hear another male voice speaking loudly- shouting at Billy: “Where is he?”
“Where are you Jake- we’ve been worried sick,” Jacob’s father demanded, and I could hear the real terror in his voice.
“I’m fine Dad,” Jacob replied, trying to avoid telling his father his location, knowing that it would come to no good.
“Don’t think I believe that for a moment,” Billy replied angrily. “If you were fine, you would have called me after you completed your patrol, not some 6 hours later! It’s 3 o’clock in the morning!”
“My- my phone broke,” Jake replied weakly, knowing that he could not fool his father, though from what I could make of his thoughts- his statement was actually true.
“Even if that were true, you could have returned home or at least left the god-forsaken vampire territory- you know your brothers cannot venture there!”
“I know Dad, I know,” Jacob whispered. “I’m sorry I worried you- I’m okay-”
“Do not lie to me Jacob Black!” Billy boomed into the phone. I cringed away from the sound; I had the distinct feeling he had some idea of where his son was, but how he knew, I could only guess.
“Dad-”
“Where are you?” Billy persisted and I knew the man wouldn’t relent until he had his answer.
“I can’t tell you Dad,” Jake muttered weakly. It was difficult for me to experience how Jacob was feeling. He felt entirely helpless in my house, and his father being angry at him was not helping.
“You are on their territory aren’t you?” his father demanded. “You cannot return home- there can be no other explanation,” Billy said more logically than I was expecting. “Your brothers spent all night looking for you, but there was no trace of your scent. Explain to me why you couldn’t have given me a call!”
“I wanted to Dad.” So much, Jake added in his thoughts. I turned away from the room, feeling guilty for preventing the boy from calling home. I foolishly didn’t realize how concerned his father would be. I was too worried about the safety of my family and our agenda, rather than thinking about what was best for Jacob.
“Then why didn’t you?” Billy asked, more gently now, for he could sense, like me, that Jacob was on the verge of tears.
“I wasn’t allowed,” Jake whispered so quietly that I was surprised Billy heard him. I heard a sharp intake of breath from Billy as he registered what this meant.
“Who has you?” Billy asked dangerously. “Sam is with me- he will gather the pack and come to get-”
“No Dad,” Jacob replied, his voice getting a little stronger. “Don’t let them come- I should be home later today and I’ll tell you everything then,” he pleaded with his father, too tired to deal with any more of his father’s anger and disappointment.
“You will tell me everything now, Jacob. I know you are with vampires, there is no other reason for you to be so secretive with me,” Billy said, worry flavouring his tone. I saw in Jacob’s mind that he was usually honest with his father- this act of dishonesty was truly hurting him.
Jacob took a deep breath. I could see in his mind that he intended to tell most of what transpired in the last few hours. He was anxious though; he felt his father believed my family captured him, rather than helped him.
“Before my patrol, I went to see Bella. She was with Edward, and we had a falling-out. I left Bella’s place distracted- I foolishly hoped she would come after me, so I stayed on their side of the border, thinking that maybe Edward would come with her. After a while, I decided to return to Bella’s place and demand we talk. As I was running, I was,” Jacob took another deep breath, “bitten by Victoria.”
There was silence.
“Jesus,” Billy finally responded in a hissed whisper.
“What happened?” the same voice in the background demanded- I presumed it was Sam.
“Victoria bit Jacob.”
“I’m okay,” Jake butted in, trying to reassure them.
“You don’t sound it, Son,” Billy replied gently, now more concerned than angry that his son had left him hanging.
“I- I am physically fine,” he said quietly. “Can I just finish the story?” he added hurriedly evidently trying to push aside his fear.
“Of course,” Billy said, staying silent, waiting for his son to continue.
“I phased back into human form, without meaning too. I wanted to remain as a wolf, but the pain was too much. I fell and hit my head. Victoria was leaning right over me, but then smelling Paul and Embry, she ran away. She bit me on the back of my neck- I was losing a lot of blood. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me and I felt too weak and was in too much pain to move, so I laid there in the hope that Paul and Embry would come back for me,” Jake explained, clearly upset that he was not rescued by his brothers.
“They smelt your scent originally, but by the time they returned, having made sure Victoria was back on the other side of the boundary, they could no longer detect your smell,” Billy explained.
“Well… well that would be because Edward found me,” and I saw in Jacob’s mind how he saw me as I approached him through the forest. God my eyes looked terrible.
“Edward?” Billy was barely able to speak my name.
“What was he doing there?” Sam demanded, and it sounded like his ear was right next to the phone, so he could hear what Jacob was saying.
“He was looking for me,” Jake explained. “Bella told him to find me and apologise-”
Sam snorted.
“What did he do when he found you?” Billy continued urgently; evidently desperate for Jake to continue with his story.
“I made up a lie- a reason I was lying down as I was. He believed it at first, but then realised I must be unwell because I was not moving away from him, like any other wolf would have. He then smelt my blood.” Billy gasped. “And then demanded I tell him what happened. I tried to resist, but in the end he saw it in my head-”
“Can he really read people’s minds?” Billy butted in, sounding fearful.
“Yes,” Jake said seriously. “So he knew what I was hiding. Like me, he feared what the venom was doing to me and after much convincing, I- I let him help me…” Jacob trailed off as the image of me sucking the venom out of his bite, filled his mind.
“How?” Billy demanded.
Jacob exhaled sharply. “It doesn’t matter- in the end, he took me back to his house and-”
“Jacob!” Billy interrupted; he seemed to have noticed how Jacob glanced over how exactly I ‘helped’ him.
“Dad, please-” Jacob begged
“How did he help you? What did he need to do?”
“We don’t even know if it was necessary-”
“Regardless, you must tell me everything that happened- every detail of your interaction with vampires,” Billy said imperiously, and I could tell he wanted to know as much information about our kind as possible. I remembered that not even Billy knew what happened to werewolves when bitten by our kind, so this information was important to him and the pack- though at the moment it sounded like he was being an overprotective father, and frankly, I couldn’t blame him.
“He- he removed the venom from my system,” Jacob finally said, however reluctantly. It took Billy only five seconds to put two and two together.
“Jacob…” but his tone was sympathetic now. Jacob’s father could say no more, but Sam could.
“He drank your blood?” Sam questioned in disbelief, evidently asking the question Billy couldn’t bear to utter.
“Yes- but it was the only way- the venom had been in my body so long, I could have died!” Jacob said hurriedly, wanting to emphasise why he allowed this ‘monstrosity’ to occur.
“And then what happened?” Billy continued, evidently not wishing to dwell on the fact that his son may owe his life to a vampire.
“Edward carried me to his home. I tried to resist, but he wanted his father to look me over before sending me home-”
“Dr. Cullen?”
“Yes, but Dad, I wanted to go home- I told him the pain from where I hit my head would go away, but then it got worse, and I was scared something could be wrong. I could hardly talk, so he took me.” Jacob was talking quickly again in a hurry to explain as if he had to justify himself every time he trusted a vampire.
“You entered a house full of vampires whilst you were bleeding?” Billy spoke as if his son was stupid, which made me feel angry- what other option did Jacob have?
“Dad- I had no choice; I was barely conscious. Edward made sure only his father, mother and one of his brothers were there, and- and he tried to make things as comfortable as possible…”
“Yet he prevented you from calling me,” Billy objected.
“He didn’t want the entire pack invading his house!” Jacob defended me. “He promised me I could call you once Carlisle had examined me.”
“Carlisle?” Billy hissed dangerously.
“Dad,” Jake breathed, exasperated. “Please listen to me. I didn’t want any of this, I fought against them whenever I could- but I found it difficult because Edward and the doctor- they wanted to help me,” Jake explained, sounding emotional now.
I closed my eyes and I continued to listen to their conversation, bracing myself for how Billy would react.
“You feel the monsters who left Bella to dwell in depression for a year would care about you?! A werewolf?” Billy yelled, clearly upset by his son’s naivety.
“Dad, I hate them more than you for what they did to Bella- especially Edward!” Jacob yelled back, through tears. “But they were trying to protect her from what they are-”
“Then they should have stayed away!”
“And if they did, Dad,” Jacob sobbed. “Where would I be right now?”
It took every ounce of effort I possessed, not to barge through the doors and yell at Billy for placing his prejudice before his son’s health. I continued to stand completely still outside the room, anger radiating from my body.
“Jake-” Billy tried to speak, but seemed unable to continue when he realised how upset he had made his son.
“Dad, I can’t have you be mad at me,” Jake choked. “Today has been the worst day of my life; I’ve never felt so useless- I couldn’t phase, I could hardly breathe when all I could smell was vampire stench and every ounce of my body wanted to run away from here. I have had to trust vampires with my life, and I am still here. Despite the blood, none of them harmed me- Dr. Cullen has never even tasted human blood and has no intention of starting, and Edward didn’t even drain me of blood, even though he could have! I allowed a vampire to stick a needle in me to give me morphine and felt more useless than I ever thought possible. Even though I am terrified being here in their house, a part of me knows they will not hurt me because they just spent hours of their time trying to help me.”
Jacob was too emotionally spent to continue, but after a moment, Billy spoke again, his tone gentle.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Jake. I suppose I had to be there to fully understand exactly how these vampires have helped you. I am proud of you for being so brave Jacob. If Dr. Cullen and Edward really did save your life, then I can only praise you for trusting them.”
It was hard not to, Jacob said to himself, though didn’t relay this to his father.
“It took everything I had to let them help me,” Jacob admitted.
“I’m sure it did- I doubt even I could put my feelings aside to accept help from such creatures- which would have been to my own detriment, if what you tell me is true.”
“It is,” Jacob said, evidently relieved that his father finally believed him.
“Do you think it would be okay if Sam came to visit you in a few hours?” Billy asked in a different tone, one of curiosity. “He will not cause trouble.”
Yeah, right, Jacob thought doubtfully, but evidently his desire to see someone from his pack was too great to say no.
“It should be okay, but just Sam- the others may not be able to withstand the stench without wanting to phase.”
Billy relayed this message to Sam, incase the latter had not heard precisely what Jacob said. Sam agreed not to phase unless he was provoked, and to keep the rest of the pack away.
“Sam will visit you around 9. Will 6 hours sleep be enough? Do you think that time will suit the Cullens?” Billy asked, not quite able to keep the irony out of his tone.
“I’m used to getting little sleep, so I think I’ll be fine Dad. And I don’t think the Cullens will mind; they don’t sleep,” Jacob said.
“Right.”
I heard Jacob tell his father my family’s address; presumably reading it off the piece of paper I gave him. Once he was done, Billy continued gently:
“I am relieved you are okay Jacob. Try to get some rest. Sam will come to check up on you soon and all of your brothers are thinking of you.”
Jacob took a deep breath, small sobs escaping from his chest. “Yep.”
“I love you son,” Billy said hoarsely.
“Love you too, Dad,” Jake whispered, barely able to control his emotions.
“I am sorry for yelling at you- I was just afraid… I knew something terrible must have happened, and you being at the Cullen’s house confirmed my worst fears,” Billy tried to explain.
“I know Dad- I’m sorry too.”
“Have some rest so you stay strong and remember- I am proud of you. I’m not angry.”
By this stage Jake was beyond words; all he could do was nod then forced himself to say: “I know Dad.”
“Good night, Jake.”
“Night Dad.”
I heard Jacob press the ‘end’ button on my phone, just in time before he was overcome with sobs. I truly felt for the boy; it took every ounce of self-control I had not to invade his privacy. I even placed my hand on the doorknob, but I couldn’t bring myself to open it; Jacob wanted to be left alone and more importantly, he needed to rest. I moved away from the door and was about to turn towards the stairs when Jasper appeared by my side, confused as to why I had not attempted to console Jacob.
“He does not want to be disturbed,” I explained quickly to my brother, speaking too fast for even Jacob to understand me, if he were able to hear. “If he found out I was eavesdropping, it would only turn his sadness into anger.”
“He is upset,” Jasper said seriously in the same hurried whisper. “I do not know what he and his father were discussing, but his emotions are intense,” Jasper said, justifying why he came up stairs when Jacob finally had the opportunity to cry. Jasper and I both turned to the door, as we heard Jacob take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Jasper hoped Jacob would fall asleep soon, and I shared his wishes.
“He has had a long day,” I asserted sympathetically, knowing that of my family, only Jasper would truly understand how true that was. “Thank you for being with us today, Jasper; I know you were not comfortable in Jacob’s presence, but I hope you see now why I needed you,” I said, placing my hand on my brother’s shoulder.
Jasper nodded once and turned towards the closed door, his face still and unmoving. I knew it had been hard for Jasper to feel the pain, helplessness and fear that Jacob felt and was still feeling. To not be allowed to comfort him, in the strange way Jasper can, was difficult for him to endure. I squeezed my fingers around Jasper’s shoulder and then moved him towards the stairs, away from where Jacob was now trying to sleep, fear and pain tainting his mind. I knew Jasper wanted nothing better than to open the door, slide in and make Jacob calm, but I couldn’t let him; I was sure the boy would hear him. I resolved to keep a part of my mind centered on Jacob’s dreams, as I reluctantly descended the stairs with Jasper; our family was waiting for us.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Edward’s POV continued…
For the first time in my life I was not happy to see my entire family gathered in our house. Of course, I love them, but it was the thoughts they carried in their minds that did nothing to encourage confidence in them.
“You’re back,” I said as cheerfully as I could as I walked behind Jasper down the stairs into our living room.
Alice skipped over to me and while this move would suggest she was happy with me, she was not. I managed to duck when she went to hit me over the head with one of the nearby magazines we use for show, but then, seeing me avoid her attack, hit me again across my chest; it didn’t hurt of course, but I was surprised by her aggression.
“Alice,” I said slowly, knowing why she was so upset with me. “I am sorry for-”
“Making me blind!” she shrilled. “I had no idea what was happening to you, and you couldn’t even tell me, at the very least, that the werewolf, being singular was practically incapacitated!? I was thinking the entire pack was on you!” she yelled, her eyes glaring at me. Despite her anger, I knew it only stemmed from her love for me, so I appreciated her hitting me insofar that it showed how much she cared.
I shook my head, smiling a little at my sister. “If I was calling to engender Carlisle’s assistance, surely it wasn’t I who was-”
“You could have been injured! Don’t blame me for not being able to think straight; I couldn’t see you!”
“I’m sorry Alice,” I gave in, resigned with my hands up.
“I can’t believe you brought him here,” Alice hissed. “You may have put us all in danger,” she continued, sliding past me to wrap her arms around Jasper’s neck in greeting. “I still can’t see properly, though I can see bits and pieces now that he is upstairs.”
Emmett snorted in derision. “You make it sound like the werewolves have a chance,” he said in mock disbelief. “If they come, we’ll give them a fight.”
“There will be no fighting,” Carlisle said calmly, standing in the centre of the circle we had somehow formed without realising. “We will give them their brother- that is all they want from us,” Carlisle explained, glancing between us all, focusing primarily on Rosalie, who was livid with me. But before she could express this thought, I felt I needed to inform my family of the conversation that took place between Jacob and his father.
“Jacob’s father and Sam, the leader of the pack are now aware of his location and the full story as to our part in his injury, but also his healing. Sam will be arriving here at 9 o’clock this morning, so if you-”
I stopped abruptly when I heard Rosalie hiss.
“We must leave again?” she asked, staring daggers at me.
“No,” I said seriously. “Now that Jacob is settled, you may stay- Sam has promised not to phase unless he is provoked,” I continued, knowing that most of my family would agree to keep our side of the bargain.
But Rosalie wasn’t having it. Her teeth were bared in frustration: “Our mere presence will provoke him, Edward!”
“He is better controlled than that-”
“How would you even know- you’ve never met the mutt!” she screamed furiously, aggravated by my trust in our enemies.
“The consequences that would arise if he cannot control his temper are far worse for him than they are for us!” I hissed at Rosalie, taking a step closer to her in frustration.
“And if one of us kills him because he couldn’t suck it up and stay human?!” she shrieked. “They will know what happened-”
“And our defense would be that he didn’t maintain his side of the deal- Jacob would know that.”
“And how would he know? He’s lying down upstairs moping over Bella!” she spat, pointing to the second floor. “He is so pathetic, he would turn on you in an instant- he doesn’t care what you and Carlisle have done for him-”
I flew at Rosalie, Carlisle’s warning hand, doing nothing to stop me from towering over her in rage.
“Hey man,” Emmett began, pushing me back.
“Stay out of this Emmett,” Rosalie said sharply, pushing her way past Emmett to me.
Facing me, Rosalie remained silent; she did not want her cruelty to be heard by our family, only me.
“He is not pathetic-” I insisted through gritted teeth.
Do you really think so? Or is it because you’ve been doing the same for the past 6 months?
I was so furious there were no words that left my mouth, only growls and hisses, which only intensified when Rosalie began to laugh.
I can’t believe Victoria was able to attack him to begin with- doesn’t he have ears? Or a nose?
“He was distracted!” I growled at her as I pushed against Carlisle and Jasper’s arms which I hadn’t noticed on me before. I was slowly gaining on her inch by inch despite their attempts to restrain me.
By Bella, right? She assumed, in a tone that I associated with blonde, teenage bitches, which summed Rosalie’s personality to a ‘T’.
“He was upset!” I screamed so loudly, I thought my throat would tear from the force. Thankfully my shouting did not cause Jacob to wake- the poor boy was in a deep, much needed sleep.
“Rosalie, do not do this to Edward,” Esme implored, evidently concerned for me, and indirectly, for her safety.
And that wouldn’t be your fault, would it? She tortured me, ignoring Esme’s request.
“Let me go!” I yelled, yanking my arms out from Jasper and Carlisle’s grasp.
“You will hurt her!” Alice insisted.
“I don’t care; she is no family of mine!” I thundered, my breath coming in ragged gasps. I had never been so enraged or hurt by someone’s thoughts before. I couldn’t handle her taunts.
“Aww, you care for him,” Rosalie said in a baby’s voice, speaking aloud for the first time since she began to torture my conscience. “You helped him because you felt
responsible-”
I felt the mood in the room change as people began to realise the potential truth in her words, yet in my mind, I knew that was not my reasoning and it wasn’t Jacob’s either; I would have helped him regardless. Yet my response to Rosalie’s attempt at uncovering my motives, only functioned to support her claim. My lips pulled back, revealing my teeth, and judging by the look on her face and Emmett’s, my expression was frightening.
“He needed my help- responsibility had nothing to do with my actions!”
If he wanted your help he would have told you what happened the moment you found him. She smirked in her mind. Her comment only made me more furious as I crouched in front of her- she may know what happened, but she clearly did not understand the thoughts and feelings of either party.
“You don’t understand anything! He was terrified! How can you be so thick not to understand that? Of course he didn’t trust me when I found him; he was bleeding for crying out loud!”
Yet, you insisted you help and now he must be immensely grateful, she thought sarcastically. Then her thoughts took a girly, mocking tone. Oh, thank you so much Edward for bringing me to your home and looking after me. I had to trust you with my life and now you’ve won me over; vampires aren’t so bad after all. Then her thoughts became bitter and I felt a hiss escape through my teeth. Living in a house full of vampires, been forced to lie to his father, relying on you, Edward Cullen to protect him! If I were him, I would be wishing you had left me to die instead!
“Don’t push me, Rosalie!” I muttered through my teeth. I could feel the rest of my family closing in on us however cautiously, but I didn’t move to attack her- I was still in control.
Why did you bring him here anyway, Edward? Some pathetic romantic thing you have going on? Oh, the guilt of leaving Bella here at the hands of Victoria, I must now rescue the werewolf who kept her alive and sane because of what I di-
I felt my legs spring forward, only to be pulled harshly back by Jasper and Carlisle, who had their arms around my torso. Rosalie was smirking behind Emmett’s protective stance, so glad that she was able to rile me up. She hated the wolves and the stench that Jacob brought into the house- she wanted to live her life as she wanted; why should she have to be inconvenienced because her brother wanted to rescue a wolf?
I was pushing with all my strength against the arms that bound me, that it took all of my effort to focus on Alice’s singing voice and Carlisle’s soothing words.
“You will hurt her Edward,” Alice said seriously, but in her famous Alicey tone.
“Calm down, Son,” Carlisle said in my ear. “Rosalie was not here to see what we went through with Jacob. You know her prejudices and her hate of being inconvenienced. Let her express her anger-”
“She is being cruel, that’s why she isn’t speaking aloud- you and Esme would not appreciate her attitude,” I told my father in between attempts to break through the barricade he and Jasper had created around me. At this he looked over at Rosalie and said in a tone that reminded all of us why he was the head of our family:
“Stop. Now. Edward was trying to help someone who means a lot to Bella,” Carlisle emphasized and then paused before continuing. “If anyone does not wish to be here when Sam arrives, then you are welcome to leave, but those who remain need to respect the deal made between Sam and Jacob- he doesn’t want a fight to occur and we must not jeopardise his road to recovery.”
“Oh whatever,” Rosalie snorted. “The wolves know where we live- we’re not safe from them anymore,” she stated, not out of fear, but as an accusation against me; she felt I had put my family in danger.
“They will not attack us,” Esme said gently but with certainty, walking over to us and placing her hand on my shoulder. “Given everything the wolves have done, such as protecting the town from Victoria and most especially, protecting Bella,” she looked at me briefly. “The least we could do is help Jacob when he needs us.”
“And what about us? I wonder if Edward ever considered what would happen when he brought a werewolf home! Did he think when the mutt was all well and mended, he would leave and never return? Never tell his brothers where we lived? Never used his knowledge of our whereabouts to get revenge should Edward lose it and turn Bella?”
“Rosalie!” Carlisle interrupted her in a commanding voice, whilst simultaneously struggling to keep me away from her, as my snarl echoed off the walls.
My vision was an angry red and I wanted nothing more than to rip her to shreds, and I knew I would have succeeded because every measly thought moving through her tiny brain gave me ammunition to hurt her.
“Werewolf or not, he is a human being has been bitten by our kind. I vowed to myself centuries ago to do what I could to protect those who fall victim to our kind’s ways of hunting, or in this case, attacking.”
“It was not your fault that Victoria attacked him, Carlisle!”
“No, but it is our fault that she is here, Rosalie.”
Rosalie didn’t need to say what was in her thoughts for my family to know what she was thinking. A vicious growl escaped up my throat and through my teeth. I do not remember feeling so angry at anyone, let alone my sister.
“Edward killed James to protect Bella. I hope we all would have done the same to save her,” Carlisle implored, looking around at my family, who I knew were tensed, ready to prevent me from attacking Rosalie should I be able to force my way through Jasper and Carlisle’s grasp and Emmett’s protection. “Victoria may be after Bella, but it is because of us that James is dead. Do not aggravate Edward any further Rosalie, he isn’t well,” Carlisle tried to reason with Rosalie, though at the time, I didn’t think about his words- I felt perfectly fine.
“I am merely telling the truth, Carlisle. Our lives revolve around his drama- it’s so pathetic. I wish everything were back to normal, but no, we have a werewolf in our house who probably doesn’t even deserve to be saved!”
I felt Carlisle’s grip release me- one down, two to go. I lashed out at Rosalie’s spoilt face, only for her face to be replaced by Jasper’s. It was only then that I realised that Jasper was trying to alter my mood, but his shocked face indicated to me that he wasn’t succeeding. I felt both of Jasper’s hands resting on my upper arms, his fingers tightly entwined around them as he stared at me. I glared at the multiple scars that lined his face, before I forced myself to look into his eyes.
“Edward,” he said seriously, following my gaze as I tried to turn away from him and back to Rosalie. “Do not listen to her; she is the least humane of us all, and while some of her fears may be warranted, I do not believe Jacob or Sam poses a threat to us.”
Rosalie hissed, but no one paid her any attention. “I am trying to calm you down, but it isn’t working is it? If I let you go, you would try to dismember Rosalie, wouldn’t you?”
I stared at him, trying to push Rosalie out of my mind, but I couldn’t- my desire to hurt her for the things she said and the things she thought overpowered everything else- only Jasper’s concern held me where I was. “I can feel your pain and your anger, Edward, but there is nothing I can do to calm you. You need,” and I heard the emphasis he made here, “to feed.”
His last word shocked me- I didn’t feel thirsty, but then the more I thought on it, the thirstier I became. The burning was intense and without meaning to, my hand went to my throat and I started to rub it furiously trying to remove the burn; I did not want Rosalie to win because I couldn’t wait any longer to satiate my thirst.
“Edward,” Carlisle said gently, but seriously, his hand squeezing my right shoulder. “When was the last time you fed?” he asked, moving around to stand next to Jasper so they were both able to look into my eyes.
“I believe it was just before I went to the Volturi,” I said a little weakly, trying to count how many weeks it had been. Thankfully, Carlisle was in a better place to do the math.
“Edward, you need to feed, it’s been six weeks.”
Esme gasped. She wondered how I had maintained enough self-control not to kill Bella or Jacob since I returned from Italy.
“I will, after she pays,” I hissed.
“No Edward,” Alice intervened. Jasper didn’t like his partner being so close to me when I was in this non-negotiable state- my thirst must have been making me blind to reason and self-control. “If you do not feed soon, you will hurt her.”
“Good-”
“I will not let you,” Alice continued, looking at me as if trying to apply to my better half- the small part of me that loved my family and wouldn’t want to kill any of its members. “Feed,” she persisted. “And if you still want to kill Rosalie when you return, then I will not stop you.”
I looked around me and saw my family stare at me in anticipation for my attack; despite Alice’s attempt to calm me, none of them felt I was capable of being deterred. The area where my stomach was, squeezed painfully; I felt like a monster. My deprivation of blood had made me vicious beyond reasoning. In full force, my thirst returned and I grabbed my head with one hand, my throat with the other, and I could see my tortured face and my black and purple eyes reflected in all of theirs. I looked like a monster- I didn’t understand how Jacob was able to look at me without flinching.
“Okay,” I whispered, not looking at anyone, feeling embarrassed that I needed to leave and for causing such a scene. “But keep her,” I growled under my breath, not clarifying who I was talking about, for it would be obvious to everyone present, “away from him.”
“I will look after him until you return,” Jasper promised and I could see in his mind that he meant it.
“Thank you,” I said, barely able to speak.
“I will check his vitals shortly,” Carlisle added, and I nodded at him- of course, I could trust Carlisle.
“I may visit Bella after I hunt,” I said on my way out. “I need to ensure she is safe… she does not know what is happening.”
The werewolves kept her safe the past 6 months without your help, I doubt she needs you.
“Will someone shut her up?” I choked out. It took everything in my power not to turn around and wring her neck; the thirst for blood was too strong.
“Calm down, Edward. Leave; she isn’t worth it,” Jasper encouraged me, pushing me gently through the door trying again, though unsuccessfully, to soothe me. I nodded my head at him, which he returned, then closed the door behind me.
I ran away from my house and into the night, wanting nothing more than to satiate my thirst and escape Rosalie’s thoughts which were echoing in my mind. As much as I tried to stop them from continuing to torture me, I was unsuccessful until I had drained two bucks and a mountain lion.
Author's note: I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter :) Did you think it was in line with Rosalie's and Billy's characters? I would love to know your thoughts! Please remember to vote and comment :) Thanks everyone!