I woke up in a cold sweat as this was the day that would prove if I was a worthy soldier, the day that I would live or die. After a quiet morning at breakfast and a kiss from Levi followed by a hug from Farlan all of the soldiers that served in the Survey Corps were escorted to the wall entrance to be put into the formation. Our squad, Farlan, Levi, me, and a couple of other guys in addition to our squad leader, were put off to the right side of the formation. Flagon Darlett told us that we were in one of the most dangerous positions as if any titans came our way, we had to inform the inner formation of it with flares and then kill the titan ourselves. In other words, we were to be the first killed if anything went not according to plan.
This aspect made me more nervous than before, but I held myself together as I had to be strong. I had to stay alive for myself and all of the people I loved.
After about an hour of speeches from all of the top ranked commanders, the gates were lifted and the first half of the formation charged out into the titan infested field. I was soon ordered, along with my squad to go forward. I gently kicked my horse, Jeano (A/N lol), as to not hurt him but to get him moving.
One step, two steps, three steps, and I was beyond the walls that I had been caged in for fifteen long and hard years. The blazing sun hit my skin and the wind blew through my hair. As nice as it was, I was terrified for the hours to come, to face the titans that once took the lives of the people that I loved the most.
Soon the whole formation had made it outside the walls and we were travelling at full speed towards the God knows where. The formation remained tight for about forty-five minutes before a five metre class titan appeared on the left. A green flare was fired and five soldiers charged toward the titan and took it out effortlessly with a co-ordinated plan of attack. The soldiers soon came back and rode along with the rest of us.
I found it amazing that they could just do that without freaking out or having second thoughts. I guess that's what it is to be a soldier. We kept riding before another titan came into view beside us and two more behind us. Most of the formation was now broken and there was green smoke in the sky. Three men from our squad including Levi went to take out the titan to the right while most of the back formation was divided to defeat the two twelve metre class coming up the rear.
As Levi left, he blew me a discrete kiss and then forced a grabbling hook into a tree behind the titan. He flew through the air effortlessly and quickly as to not be caught by the hands of the titan itself. He flew towards the nape and just before he was about to kill it, some more titans appeared from the patch of trees behind. There must have been around five, all ten metre class.
Commander Erwin decided to get involved when he noticed the heads of the creatures over the trees. Levi sliced through the nape and killed the titan before returning to his horse.
"Levi, you are to go with the soldiers around you and take out the titans behind the trees, got it?" He said.
"Yeah whatever" Levi replied and turned his back to me and Farlan to go off behind the trees.
"Flagon, you and the rest of your squad are to fall back and take out the titans coming towards us now." Erwin instructed while pointing to three titans that had just appeared behind the broken formation.
This was my time to fight, give it everything I had. I used the reins of my horse to turn him around and so did the rest of my squad including Farlan. We rode towards the back of the formation while our comrades pasted us with worried eyes.
I forced a grabbling hook into the trunk of a tall tree and flew up into a branch, ready to attach myself onto the neck of a titan and slice its nape just as I had been trained to do. A ten metre class titan began to walk past the tree and I used this as an opportunity to strike. I hooked its neck and pulled myself into its shoulder. I had to do it now. There was no turning back. I took out my blades and dragged them through the thick skin of the titan. It soon fell with a loud thud and smoke began rising from the rotting corpse. I did it. I finally took one out, a real one. I could now call myself a soldier.
I got back on my horse and looked for the rest of my squad. I was all alone, as there was not a soul in sight. How long had I taken to kill that one titan? I frantically turned my head for any sign of life and there it was, a titan holding the body of a man. There was another rotting titan corpse beside that one, so someone must've taken the other ten meter out. This was a new one though. I sat there on my horse as still as a pole and watched as one of my own was about to be devoured. There was nobody else with him, not a horse or another soldier. I was going to be the only person to see him die, to witness this man's last moments. I couldn't clearly see who it was but I did see a flash of blonde in the sun. The titan lifted the man closer to its mouth and held him between his teeth around his stomach. The titan then shook its head violently so it could pull the man in half with force.
The top half of the man came flying out of the mouth of the titan with speed towards me. It stopped about five metres to the left of me and I could now clearly make out the identity of the man.
His eyes were open and a dull shade of blue. His hair was in-fact blonde and his arm was positioned above his head with his mouth slightly open. No, this couldn't be. It was Farlan.
The whole world stopped turning as I took a couple of steps towards my now deceased best friend. My vision was now blurred with tears and my hearing was pierced. I knelt on my knees and cried warm tears. They fell centimetres away from his corpse and dampened the ground. At that moment, it started to rain heavily. I pulled my hood over my head and placed my fingers on Farlan's eyelids to close them gently. I kissed his bloody forehead and stood up with even more tears streaming down my face.
This was getting to be too much for me. I had just witnessed my friend's death that I may have been able to stop if I wasn't so scared and weak. I didn't want to do it anymore and my life would never be the same without him.
I soon heard a deep growl coming from above me. I looked up to see the titan, that had just killed one of the people that I loved most, staring down at me with a creepy smile drawn across it's ugly face. Its hand came closer to my shaking body and sent my horse running off into the distance. It wrapped its strong fingers around my frame and picked me off the ground with no trouble. This was it, my end. There was no use in fighting it, as the titan had crushed my gear in its tight grip, so my sword would have made no difference to the matter. I closed my eyes and awaited my end. Any moment now I would be taken away from all of this pain and be in a better place, with my mother, father, and Farlan.
Some seconds had passed and I was still awaiting my end, but there was nothing. I opened my eyes to see a short cloaked figure coming towards me on 3DM gear. He flew around the back of the titan and sliced it with one fowl swoop. The titan began to fall to the ground with me still in its grip. I couldn't move as my chest and legs had been crushed along my gear because of the pressure applied with the titans grasp. I began descending to the ground when the cloaked figure came back around to the front of the titan and sliced its fingers, narrowly missing me. The man pulled me from the titans hand and held me bridal style while gently landing on the wet grass, at least ten metres away from the steaming corpses.
I looked at the face of my saviour and sure enough it was Levi. His eyes were wide and frightened, but still determined. A tear was threatening to spill from his eye, but he didn't allow it to fall. He laid me down on the ground and pulled my hood off, examining my face.
I had a few small cuts on my cheeks, but that was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my legs and along my chest.
"Did I get you with my sword?" He asked.
"N-no" I coughed out.
"Are you in any pain?" He questioned.
"Yes, along my chest and my legs. I think its hand crushed me a bit." I answered.
"Let me see." He said as he lifted my white shirt.
There was a large, deep purple bruise forming on the left side of my chest. He ran his finger along the bruise and then took a look at my legs. He slipped my boots off and pulled my long pants up to around my middle thigh. My right leg was a little out of place and both of my legs were bruised and bloody.
"I think you've broken a couple of ribs and your right leg." He said with weary eyes.
He then picked me up and whistled for his horse. A black horse came galloping from the distance with its saddle still on. My horse was long gone by now and so were the horses of the rest of our squad. From what I could tell, Levi and I were the only survivors from our squad.
Levi pushed me up onto the horse gently and helped me swing my leg over the other side. He then hopped on with little difficulty, considering his size compared to the height of the horse. He took hold of the leather reins and was about to kick the horse to signal it to go when he stopped cold.
"Mia was Farlan here with you?" He said with wide eyes.
At this, I burst into tears. I was great friends with Farlan, but Levi had known him for much longer than I did. How was I going to break it to him that his best mate died before me and I did nothing to stop it. Levi seemed to understand quickly and hushed my crying. The horse began to move and we were soon coming towards an old, dirty building. It was still raining, so it was hard to make out the features of it, but it was by-far one of the oldest structures I had ever laid my eyes on. Levi pulled on the reins and the horse turned down the side of the building to the stables. We came to a halt and Levi got off. He then lifted me off and carried me into the building with ease.
He came to a hallway which lead to a lit dining room. The room wasn't too small, but it certainly wasn't as big as the dining hall in the Survey Corpse headquarters. The rest of the surviving soldiers were seated around a large wooden table, minus the injured. Levi took me over to the far side of the table to a man with blonde hair, Erwin.
"Where is the infirmary?" He asked Erwin.
"Levi, I have told you many time before to refer to me as Commander." He said.
"There is no time for that now. Where is the infirmary?.......Commander." Levi said.
"I can take you there if you would like." Erwin said.
"Please" Levi replied.
Erwin stood up and towered over Levi and I.
"Would you like me to carry her?" He offered.
"No, and her name is Mia." Levi snapped.
Erwin then headed down the hallway and tuned right. He opened a door and stood aside for Levi and me to follow. The infirmary was a very glum place full of battered soldiers and misery. Erwin then lead us to a room sectioned off from the rest by a curtain. Levi placed me down on the bed, that wasn't too comfortable, and then pulled a pillow up onto the headrest so that I could sit upright against the frame of the bed. A nurse then appeared wearing a white dress from God knows where. Since when did we bring a nurse along with us? She came to the right of my bed and stood beside Levi. Erwin soon left the room.
"Hi, my name is Annabelle and I am going to be in charge of your recovery. What is your name love?" She told me.
"Mia" I breathed.
"Why are you here Mia?" She asked.
"I think she has broken a couple of ribs and her right leg." Levi butted in.
"Thank you. May I see?" She said to both Levi and I.
I gently pulled up my shirt and showed the nurse my bare chest. It had gotten worst since Levi saw it. It now had blotches of red in it and was an even deeper purple. She examined it closely and then bent down at my right leg. She pulled up my pants and looked at my twisted knee.
"Yes, I believe you have broken three ribs on your right side along with your right leg. You might have to stay here for at least three weeks before you can get out of bed." She informed us.
I simply nodded, as it slightly hurt to breathe and Levi thanked Annabelle before she walked out of the room. Levi sat down beside me, but was careful not to touch my right side.
"Mia you have a look on your face like you have just seen a ghost. Are you okay?" He questioned.
I wanted to say I was fine and that everything was still the right way in my head but I couldn't lie to Levi. I shook my head slowly and began to tear up.
"I should've done something, I should have saved him, but instead I stood there shaking and scared because I am weak. I saw him die Levi and did nothing about it." I sobbed. Levi gently wrapped his arms around me and buried his head in the crook of my neck; I did the same to him.
"Mia, please don't beat yourself up like this. There was absolutely nothing you could do. Please don't cry." He reasoned.
"But I could have done something and I didn't. I stood there motionless as his body came towards me. He was gone and I was the one that let it happen." I cried into his shoulder.
"Mia you know that's not true. You were very brave out there and so was Farlan. We just couldn't get to him in time. I could only just save you from the titan's mouth and you aren't even in tip top shape. That titan was a fifteen metre class, even taller than the practice ones from training. Please don't blame yourself for his death. I can't watch you be that way, not again." He said.
I nodded a reluctant nod and stopped crying. Levi was right; I couldn't be sad and blame myself for his death for the rest of my life. I hadn't been trained for a titan so big before, so it was hardly a fair fight; after all we were still the new trainees of the Survey Corps.
"Thank you Levi, I love you." I said as I let him go.
"I love you too mia, and please don't blame yourself." He said before he kissed me.
This was just like our first kiss, but even better as I needed it more than ever. Levi was warm and strong and I was cold and weak. We were the perfect match if you ask me as he was always there, just like Hanji at the top of the well, ready to pull my out with a long piece of rope and an inviting hug.
We soon broke away from the kiss and Levi sat in the chair beside my bed. The sun was going down and I wasn't really in the mood for dinner, so I closed my saw and puffy eyes and slept. I was uncomfortable, as I couldn't roll over, but the fact that Levi was right there, was enough for me to feel safe.