010 (Ivan’s POV)
“You have to take chances for the things you care about.”
~Jerry; Eight Below
Night of July 22, 2012
Tamara passed out on me.
“Ivan,” that was the last thing she said before I died, resurrected and was reborn—wait—reincarnated a thousand times before repeating the whole living process once again.
I am driving my car to the hospital right now. And for your good information, just so you know, I didn’t steal this car. This is actually the first in this story that I didn’t steal anything. I own this car. It’s my favorite Bugatti Veyron. I bought this baby via my spliff business which you will further know in the next chapters of part two if you keep on reading “Remind Me Again.”. And yes, I am giving you this information in behalf of the author. I am very feeling Christian right now.
Anyways, going back to Tamara, she was still unconscious and my myocardium was about to break into pieces. My heart suddenly contrasts, afraid of being pulled out into the cold open. It keeps on doing some back flips and it made me feel queasy. It’s pretty unusual for me to feel this way since my body responded via shivering. I wasn’t cold but I am cold. It’s a complicated emotion to explain so don’t ask. I don’t feel hot but my head’s boiling. You could even fry an egg. My subconscious raised his frying pan. But I wanted to kill Dan. If not for John, I might have killed that sick bastard.
How could he take advantage of Tam when he knew that she was sick—different?
I could have killed him. No. I should have killed him. But then another boarder came in to live inside my head called Instincts and he told me that the author of this book instructed him to take the job for my sanity while she’s away making a great miserable living.
Instincts told me that I shouldn’t put trouble at the first line or I’ll never see Tamara again. My subconscious nodded in agreement as he hid his frying pan.
I wanted so bad to feel all right, but Tamara isn’t waking still. When we arrived at the hospital, I gently carried her in my arms and I ran to the ER. I wanted to cry, but for someone like me it would be absurd—so I suppress my sobs inside and let my subconscious do the crying.
Please be all right, Tam.
As I have expected, when I arrived inside the ER, people took their distances from me while some gave me that confused look: why is Ivan Patricks in the hospital with a girl?
My anger busted when no one attended to me—I mean to us—argh! I mean Tam! So I laid her on a stretcher while I called for a doctor to check on her. But none came. Damn it. I don’t look like a monster, do I?
Slight. My subconscious teases.
“Will somebody help me here?” I shouted and my voice roared inside the room, taking all their attention. They looked as terrified as I am. But I was the one in need of help here. It’s like I’ve carried a very deadly virus inside and no one wants to get near me.
“She could be dying! Please!”
Still no one came for Tamara’s rescue. Some hospital treatment they give to their patients. So, having no choice, I helplessly pulled Tamara back in my arms and I stormed out of the ER, finding the last person I’d be less wanting to meet.
“Mom,” my voice cracked and she gave me an alarmed look like any mother would when their child is in jeopardy. If you’re wondering why she’s there, just go back to chapter 009.1 (My POV)—she’s a shrink and she has her graveyard shift today.
She looked at me warily. Just as she was about to approach me, her eyes drifted to Tam and she gasped.
“Mom, please—“ my voice came out even worse than I thought and I started to feel that sob building inside of my throat. “My girlfriend… you have to help her… I… they don’t want to help!”
“Oh, Ivan.” She says as she tries to soothe me but I took a step back. I don’t need her comfort right now. I just need Tam to be all right.
“Mom, she could be dying!” I shouted. “Why isn’t there anyone in this god damn hospital would want to help me?”
“Ivan—“
“No, Tam needs tending—“
My mom pulled the hem of my shirt and she drove me back to the ER without another word. She motioned me to put Tam back on the stretcher and she disappeared. After a while she comes back with a doctor. Oh finally! After that she pulls my arm, tending to pull me away from Tam while he checks her.
“No!” I said in alarm. “I’m not leaving her here!”
The doctor frowned at me but I ignored him. Tamara is my number one concern right now.
“Ivan,” my mom takes my arm once again but I dodge her away.
“I’m staying here.” my voice rang the tone of stubbornness and finality.
The doctor sighs loudly and he turns to me tiredly. “What happened?”
That froze all the living muscles in my system. I swallowed hard before answering. I knew my mother wouldn’t be shock with this but I knew she would be very disappointed. “She was drugged.” I said coldly.
It was the doctor’s turn to feel that coldness. Don’t ask how and why because his Bluetooth was open so I sent my coldness to him. I glared at him when he stopped on checking on my girl. Almost immediately, he wore his stethoscope and he went back on really checking on Tam’s statistics.
“What kind of drug?” he asks as things in my head went into Feeding Frenzy.
“I… I don’t know.” I frowned and the doctor frowns back. He then ignored me and he called for attendees and supervisions. Most of them scurried inside immediately making me and my mom take a step back to give them more room for the army.
“What’s happening?” I asked anyone in particular as a nurse started to close the curtains.
“No—wait,” my mom pulled me out of the ER already while I was too weak to strangle myself out of her menacing grip.
“Mom! I have to be there! You can’t just let me wait out here!” I shouted at her and I got an unexpected slap from her.
“Relax! Put yourself together and stop being so reckless! Worrying won’t help her right now!”
I scoffed. “Relax? So what do you want me to do? Do ballet?”
She gives me an apologetic look and I sank down on one of the chairs outside the ER. I rested my head in my hands and I started to feel those tears burn my eyes once again.
“Ivan,” I feel my mom’s arm on my shoulder as she sits beside me. I just want her to leave me alone and grieve. But she wouldn’t go. She’s one frustrated woman next in line to Tam.
Tam….
I want to die—oh crap. No. That would be my tactless mouth piece. I still have to live to see Tam. I still have to live to know that she’s all right. So scratch the dying part.
“Ivan, tell me what happened.” She gently squeezed my shoulder.
I looked back at her from my hands, feeling guilty and all. I looked away with a sigh. “It’s my fault.” I balled my hands into a fist and I hit the empty chair beside me. “If I had been on time… it’s my entire fault. Tam wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me…” I started to cry once again and I feel ashamed to do that in front of my mom when she never saw me cry apart from when I was still a baby who needed to be fed and changed into dipees.
“Your girlfriend,” she pauses and then she clears her throat as she corrects herself. “Tam’s her name?” I nodded and she smiled kindly. “Tam will be okay.”
“How do you know?” I asked irritably.
“Well… she’ll have to live to kick your ass for being late.” I looked back at her and she was smirking at me.
I scoffed a little. “I am the worse boyfriend in the world.”
She sighs. “I’ve seen worse. And I believe that you’re not one.”
“If something happens to Tam, I’d kill those bastards.”
“Ivan, no one intended for this to happen.” My mom kicks my shoe. “Tam’s very lucky to have someone like you.”
I snickered at the thought. Does she now?
“If you are far worse than you think you are, then you should have left her.”
I turned to my mother. “I love her, mom” her eyes ignited as if the thought had overwhelmed her. “I really do. I couldn’t bare it if anything harm will come upon her because of me.”
She wrapped an arm around me, encircling me in an embrace. “Stop blaming yourself. Tam will be all right.” She then pulls away. “You should inform her parents.” she glances at her watch and back to me. “It’s very late. They might be worrying about her.”
Blood drained out of my face. “You want me to call them?”
She rolls her eyes at me. “You want me to call them.”
I rolled my eyes back at her as I snatched my phone. “No. I’ll do it.”
She messes my hair. “You silly rascal. What’s her last name?”
“McLethe.” I answered as I looked back at her.
Her face turns pale white via my Bluetooth part 2. She should not have opened hers too. And I feel so obliged to advise you to please turn off your Bluetooth or else, any emotion from here will be Bluetooth to you.
Of course, my mom knew about it. She’s a renowned shrink in this town. She probably knows about Tam’s accident. If I’m not quite mistaken, Tam was big news in Solique when the accident had happened. They said she was very fortunate to have survived the incident. Her boyfriend took all the blow of it. Folks who have investigated the accident scene almost didn’t recognize the boyfriend because he was smashed into a pulp (excuse me for the term used). And since I’m not a fan of any news paper work and television—you can even count the number of Gossip Girls here in our town, I didn’t know about the accident until I met Tamara.
But of course, I had the yelling sessions with my one and only mother. She scolded me like a mother scolding her child for playing with a damaged toy. That’s her metaphor with the Tamara issue. But I wasn’t playing with Tam. I’m trying to fix her. And I know that somewhere in her over forgetful skull—I mean brain, she remembers me. Every bit and fiber!
The second yelling sessions came from the humanoid. When he heard that his daughter was in the hospital he bombarded me with insults from an alternative universe. Of course, I didn’t mind at all. I thank God for creating people who invented the mute button. Who knows what he’s talking about since he himself is from another galactic intervention—I was to say world. Never mind. He also told me never to see his daughter again and then he ended the phone call with a bomb. Whoa. I didn’t know he has a terrorist side far more dangerous than Osama. But hello, he can knock down my twin balls but I am not staying away from Tamara. Has he completely forgotten that I am the Ivan Patricks? Dude, I disregard rules. Don’t underestimate me because Trouble is my middle name. Go ask my mother for her maiden name to be sure.
Going back to Tamara, the doctor said she just fell unconscious but she refuses to wake because she wanted to sleep. That was very reasonable of him. But I’m just glad that she didn’t fall into coma or worse. Most drugs kill people if they take too much of it. Take the celebrities for example. The doctor had said, my unbelievably so called best friends baked her with some spliffs and narcotics. At least she had lived to still kill the living day light out of their blips.
Yet as I have over predicted which in fact one of my best qualities and was also in quite fact true, the moment Tam got her consciousness, her highly repugnant humanoid of a father released her from the hospital and had locked her in a tower AKA her room.
Night of July 29, 2012
While I was planning on how to climb Tam’s Rapunzel tower, I decided to take a time off to Memory Lane just to clear things in my head before I ride my blazing stallion and kill the fire breathing Dragon which is just my remake of the whole Rapunzel tale. I apologize for ruining this for the kids. No fair warning from the author who is again in a miserable make shift living via her job. Oh how irritated she might be with my demeanors now. Anyways, going back to the story, I sat on the brick tiled floor (did I say that right?) as I watched Tam’s first graffiti. I can’t help but put a smile on my exhausted face. It had been a week since and I miss her already. I don’t know what is it with her that makes me want to try and try to remind her until I die. It’s like I’m fully operated to just feel for her and make my stupid heart beat only for her. I still have no prognosis for this kind of disease. Maybe I should take Medical school first. Yuck. I just swallowed my tongue. But I was just kidding.
(Fair Warning from the concerned author: Do not follow the metaphors. They are very bad examples for children.)
I turned at an alley and I saw John standing. He offered a tentative smile at me before inviting himself to sit beside me.
“Did I agree for you to sit with me?” I told him without looking back at him.
I feel him tensed. “Oh come on, man. I know what we did was wrong—“
“Good.” I cut him off. “You may gladly repent on your sins now.”
He sighs heavily. “I wish things had not turned out this way for the three of us. We are partners in everything.”
“John, if you came here to tell me that then it’s useless. There’s no way for me to turn back around. You almost talk like Dan.” He flinches. “Look, you don’t always have to do what he says.”
“Dan’s my friend, so is he yours.” he says and I scoffed. “I just can’t abandon him like what you did to us. I am not that selfish, Ivan.”
I turned to face him and he looks away. “You’ve changed, Ivan. All I have are you guys and with you gone, there’s only Dan. I can’t just let him lay waste to the world.”
“So because he’s your friend you’re just gonna tolerate his actions? That’s not the definition of friend, John.” I snapped at him and his lips twitch into a hard line.
“Abandonment isn’t under the definition of friendship either.” He snaps back.
I sighed and I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Why did you call me, John?” I asked as I turned the topic on a different road.
He blinks hard at his sneakers and he placed his hands on his laps. He looks everywhere except me. “Dan was pretty much upset when you left and he throws it to Tamara.” He turns to look at me to see my reaction but I remained placid. “I kind of felt the same grudge that’s why agreed to do it. But then Dan went too far and he had drugged her with narcotics. I just had to disagree with him that’s why I called you.”
I took a deep steady breath as I weighed my emotions. I don’t know what to do with Dan but I really would want him to pay for it. But recklessness won’t help me right now.
“I’m sorry.” John whispers.
I turned to see the guilt look planted in his eyes. In our trio, John’s the smartest and the kindest. That I know that he’s sincere even in behalf of Dan. So I tapped his back, forgiving him. What happened already happened. We cannot alter the past. Carpe Diem.
“Thanks for calling me.”
He smiled and nodded in relief.
“Did Dan make it to second base?”I asked as I recalled that irritated scene when I arrived. Dan was on top of my girl.
John’s eyes widened in alarm and he raised his hands. “No. He didn’t.”
I sighed in relief. Thanks to mighty big bird or else I’ll make sure Dan will never have to use his shaft again. Ever.
“You really love her.” John says.
I nodded. “More than anything.”
I hear him smile beside me. “I didn’t know you would fall in love with the first girl who’d weird you up.”
“Weird.” I frowned at the word but I returned a smile. “But she’s really something. She makes me sane.”
“A saint you mean.” John snaps with a chuckle and I scowled at him. “But I’m happy for you, man. I really am…” His face then falls like a curtain in the theatre. “I just hope Dan understands.”
***
July 30, 2012
First thing in the morning, the next day, I went straight to Tamara’s house. And for the first time in my human existence, I used the door to get inside someone’s house. But of course, I’ll have to be pleasant. I knocked on the door like a good gentleman. My subconscious taps the top of my head like a dog.
Tam’s humanoid of a pater opened the door and when he saw me, he immediately decided to slam the door at me. But then again, I am the Ivan Patricks. No one shuts the door right to my face. So I made my sneakers to the blocking.
“I came here as pleasant and polite as I should. So don’t you dare shut the door, old harpy or I’ll lose my patience and you’ll…” I trailed off when I found his offspring behind him like a tail. He was tall, has dark hair and has eyes just like Tamara’s.
“Or what?” he glowers at me. Oh how I wanted to snicker. But as I said, and may I repeat, I came here as pleasant and polite as I can be. “Go home now or you’ll find yourself in the gutter.”
I flinched. “Weh.”
He narrowed his eyes at me and he takes a step forward. I took a step forward too and we were eye to eye level.
“I’m not leaving here without seeing Tamara.”
The humanoid sneers at me. “You are never to see her again.”
I sighed heavily as I tried so hard to overcome my failing patience. “I did not drug your daughter, sir.”
The hatchling laughs. “So you want us to believe that my sister just drugged herself?” I gave him a leveled look. If I do this my way, I would have thrown him in the gutter myself first before he throws me. “Tamara isn’t like other girls. And I know you too well, Ivan Patricks. You will only play around with her until you get tired and bored. And then you’ll leave her.”
I scoffed loudly. “Oh you know me now? I never left when she asked me to.” I said as I gritted my teeth. “I was here. I am always here and I will be here as long as she wants me to. I made her happy at the least of her miserable and forgetful existence. The least you could do is let us be. Give me the chance to prove to you—”
“That you love her?” the hatchling cuts me off. “You only got interested with her because she forgets about you in a minute. Who knows what you do behind her back. Tam isn’t a pass time, Patricks. So stay away from my sister. She has been in too much pain already. You are not good for her.”
“I can be good for her.” I emphasized every word. “I’ll go back to school. I’ll even go to college, get a great major. I’ll find a suitable job afterwards. I’ll be willing to change my whole life for her.”
“You’re only saying that now, kid because you aren’t bored with her yet.” The humanoid said as he sighs in resignation. I know that I am one exhausting male too. What disappoints me is how they can be so pessimistic about Tamara’s love life—I mean life only.
I shook my head. “You’re wrong.” With one good push, I shove myself inside their house. So I did use the door to get inside their house.
“TAMARA!” I shouted and her hatchling brother got a hold of me and I strangled to get free. I remembered her brother was a star track player back when I was still in school and before I decided to face my demons. Anyways, let’s forget about him. He half dragged me towards the door. I elbowed his rib cage very hard and I run back to the foyer and I shouted for Tamara. When things got very rough with us, that’s when I heard her voice.
“STOP!” she shouts and we all turned to her.
“Tamara, get in your room now.” the humanoid ordered. I noticed his wife joined the riot too.
Tam just stood on the top of the stairs and then her eyes trailed on each face in the room until they rest on mine. And they stayed there.
“I won’t.” she says to her dad without breaking eye contact with me. She then started descending the stairs until she reached the last staircase.
Here she is. Unharmed. Alive. Breathing. Tamara.
My Tamara.
My fingers twitch to touch her.
“Tam, stay away from him—“ the humanoid intervenes when she sees her taking a step towards me.
Tam’s eyebrows furrowed as she looked at him. That had cut his lips off. Good. She then shakes her head and she sighs.
“Don’t worry,” she turns to look at me. “I know him.”
All of them turned to her incredulously. “Weh…”
I flinched. “Really?”
She ignored them. Her eyes never leaving mine, she muttered one word that would give me the ticket to insomnia land tonight.
“Ivan,” my heart started to hammer inside my chest and my subconscious faints.
On my instincts request, I outstretched my hand for her. Gladly, she took it without hesitation and we left their house leaving her parents and her brother open mouthed.
***
I brought her back to Memory Lane. Although it was hard for me to say that it was kind of awkward but I was happy that somehow, she remembers me. Just hearing those pretty four letter words made me go back to my sanity. And it wasn’t even the word love yet. I’m standing in front of her now and I cupped her face and I made her look at me.
“You remember me, Tam?” I searched her face, willing the answer to be ‘yes’.
“No.” and my hands fall back to my sides.
“Then how did you know my name?”
She took something out of her bag, which I notice wasn’t one of her many padlocked bags. Anyways, bringing you back to what she took out of her bag, it was her journal.
My face fell. I don’t know what kind of emotion to use. She lifted the binder to my face and she flips on the pages.
“This is how I knew about you. I was reading a few pages when I heard the commotion downstairs.” She turns to look at me. “I figured it was you.”
“Well,” I ran a hand through my hair. “It might be some other Boy George.” I turned away from her with a sigh.
“Aren’t you not?” she asks and I shrugged as I looked back at her.
She looks down at her shoes. “I don’t know… but I felt it here.” she pressed a hand to her chest. “That’s how I know that you’re the Boy George I was looking for.”
That’s how I know that you’re the Boy George I was looking for
She is looking for me? Uwaaahhh!!! (ノД')・゜・。
I couldn’t help but sigh in relief. I took her hand in my mine and I caress it to my lips. “Are you all right?” I miss you.
“It would seem so.” she smiles slightly.
I nodded awkwardly because all I wanted to do is to hug her.
“So… I presume you remind me every day?”
“It would appear so.”
“Oh.” She blinks hard and then she blushes. “So do I… fall in love with you every day?”
That brought a smile up to my face. “You could say that.”
She bits her lower lip as she tries to hide that smile. “Well, I think you’re very easy to love.”
I smiled fondly at her. “Would you like to see me try?”
Her eyebrows rose in question.
“Try and make you fall in love with me. All over again.”
I think, there’s that moment in life when you feel like your whole world stops because of some concussion damage to your brain. But then, when your heart beats, you’ll never know how to explain how the world stops in one single tick of a minute and everything could happen in one beautiful slow second. This is what I’m feeling right now.
She smiles shyly at me. “I’d love to fall in love with you all over again.”
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