Lola’s steps gradually became slower, the heel of her shoes scraping across the gravel as she came to a stop. She felt a nervous clench in her stomach and inhaled shakily. The hazy sunshine glowed across the gritty shore below, causing her to squint as a faint breath of chilled wind blew strands of blonde hair across her forehead.
Lola could feel the sting of blisters forming on the corners of her feet, from constant rubbing against her shoes as they’d walked. The soles were worn, her calve muscles ached, her stomach was grrowling and her hair was tangled. But finally, after the longest day, she thought they’d found it.
Lola heard Harry’s footsteps coming up the slope behind, catching up as he trailed behind for the last ten minutes. Both of them had started to know they were close to the right address around half an hour ago, and although they were exhausted, they were determined to perservere and keep going.
She turned her head over her shoulder to see Harry approaching, looking worn out as she felt as he climbed the last slope of path. His curls were messy around his head, sticking out in different directions. They were standing along the beach front, raised street higher than the beach. The shore was coming in gradually, drenching more sand with every wave.
Lola looked up at the white house in front of her, taking a deep breath in.
“So this is it” she breathed. She sensed Harry stand beside her, looking up at the tall beachfront house too, with a concentrated frown on his face.
“Appears so”
Lola stood there still for a moment longer, just staring blankly at the house. She thought about the possibility of her biological father being only metres away. Inside that house. Behind those walls. The person she’d longed to be reunited with since the day he left. Wanting, needing answers. Why did he leave? Did he ever think about her? Did he want to form a relationship with her? Would he be happy to see her? Did he even want her at all?
Her exhalation was slighty shuddery with nerves as she felt herself unconciously shifting her body more towards Harry instead of the house infront. Which seemed like the safest option right now, she didn’t know whether it was a risk worth taking.
Harry sensed Lola’s hesistation and turned to her. He looked down on her, focusing his attention solely on the girl before him, trying to suss out what was going through her mind.
“Go on then” he urged, hoping to provoke a reaction which would tell them both whether she actually was going to go ahead with this.
Lola cocked her head to Harry, a helpless crease formed between her brows. It told him what he suspected. The scared look clouded over her icy blue eyes and he knew; knew that she was having cold feet. Second thoughts.
“W-what if I can’t do it?” she asked, a crack in her vulnerable voice as she looked up to her past nemesis for words of encouragement. Harry gulped as he heard her voice waver, the sound going straight to his chest and causing a small pang. He took Lolas shoulders in his hands. Her eyes had were glistening slightly and he tried to look encouraging instead of falling for it and letting her walk away. No way was he letting that happen now.
“We’ve come all this way, for two things yeah?” he said, widening his marble turquoise eyes to Lola to make sure she understood. Lola nodded slowly, sniffing and struggling to keep his bold eye contact. “For me to let go of my Dad, and for you to do the opposite and find yours”
Lola remembered the bravery in Harry as he did his thing and threw the cherished stone into the sea. It took a lot for him to let go, but the stone symbolised the grief that he’d haboured for the past couple of years. Now she needed to be brave too
“Okay?”
She shut her eyes and sucked in a deep breath “Okay”
Harry gave her a warm grin as he admiringly watched her prepared to face her fear, he squeezed her hand “That’s my girl”
Lola felt a flutter in her stomach at his words and broke a smile, responding as she felt Harry’s hand in her own. It was comforting, almost like silently telling her he was going to be right there if it didn’t work out.
She looked down for a brief second at their entwined hands and took notice of Harry’s infamous wristbands. Only she knew why he swore to wearing them so much. She unclamped her clammy hand from his and ran her finger over his pale wrist. The purple lines were fading slightly but were still there, reminding him of the pain he’d suffered.
“You haven’t…” Lola started, looking up at him, their faces only inches apart by height “Have you?”
Harry shook his head “Not for a while”
“Good” Lola replied, slipping her fingers underneath a few of the bands that covered his scars “You did it because of Andy right?”
Harry nodded, unsure of where she was going.
“Then since you’ve let go of him…you can let go of these now too” she said calmly, gently pulling the wristbands towards Harrys hand. She waited for him to accept and he hesistated.
“No, people will see the scars” he said, showing his vulnerability
“They will fade” Lola told him, as if it was something amazing he would never have realised. Harry stared into her eyes for a few seconds, feeling almost like he couldn’t let them go. His wristbands had become part of him, just like his scars had. They made him feel covered up, like his feelings weren’t exposed to the world. But without them, he’d feel naked, like everyone could see him for who he really was.
“You can’t hide the past away forever” Lola murmured, rubbing his wrist gently and feeling the gentle beat of his pulse under the thin skin. Harry swallowed hard and clenched his jaw slightly. Lola wriggled the bands a little further, untying a few strings and Harry allowed her too this time.
She hid them away in her pocket and gave him a consoling smile. Harry reciprocated it and glanced towards the front door of the house. “Go on”
Lola turned to the house and smoothed down her clothes, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ears and walked towards the door. Harry waited behind, not wanting to intrude unless he was welcomed to.
Lola hovered her fist over the door for a few seconds, thoughts racing through her head
‘Last chance to back out’ she thought to herself. She shook her head and managed to knock her knuckles to the door, immediately feeling her heart rate speed up as she could not undo it now. She knew someone was in because a car was parked outside, so there was only one direction to go in now.
She trembled nervously as she saw a figure through the frosted glass, approaching the door. Her palms were sweaty and heart was pounding as she heard the locks clunk open, anticipation running through her veins.
*****
The man of the house opened the door of his house, expecting a neighbour to be standing on the other side. The old dear from next door holding the dog by the collar and saying “This is the third time this week he’s been snooping around in my plantpots Alan”. Instead he saw a young slim blonde girl, wearing a thin khaki mac, black dress and grey tights. She looked scared, nervous.
“Hi?” he said, scratching his brisk facial hair
He took a second or two to inspect her before she tucked her hair behind her ear, and he noticed something.
A small faint mark on her middle finger, a birthmark. He didn’t know where he recognised it from but it looked familiar. It wasn’t until he looked back to her eyes that he started to get a weird connection inside. Blue, almost a frosted blue. She was pretty, she reminded him of a certain woman who used to be in his life. So similiar they could have be relate-..
His jaw fell open slightly as he realised, only one person in the world he could recognise after this many years. His own flesh and blood.
Lola saw the realisation in his facial expression and knew that he’d figured it out. It all came back to her as soon as she laid her eyes on him, the familiar structure of his face had never truly left her mind like she thought it had. She couldn’t remember his face properly, until this moment and it was like she’d never forgotten
“Hi” she smiled shakily, shrugging her shoulders “Dad?”
******
There were a few minutes of awkward stuttering and shock as her Dad tried to come to terms with the fact that his daughter was standing at the door. He was truly suprised but eventually managed to string together a sentence, Lola laughing nervously.
“Uh…uh sorry” he ran his hand through his short brown hair “I’m jus..this is just very unexpected. But erm c-come in, come in” he gushed, blowing air out through his cheeks. He was almost overwhelmed, he didn’t know what to focus on first. How she got here, why she was here, how she found him, what he was supposed to say to her, how grown up she was.
He noticed a lad hanging around aimlessly on the grass outside and gestured for him to come in too. Harry wandered over with his hands in the pockets of his dark navy chinos, a rucksack hanging over his shoulder.
Lola suddenly felt slightly awkward, she didn’t know how to behave. Was it too weird to give him a hug? Or was she supposed to reintroduce herself or something? She didn’t really know this man anymore, but she felt like a tiny connection had reformed as soon as they set their eyes on each other again. One that had never really broken since she last saw him when she was five.
She noticed how confused and baffled he was to have her in his house, but at least he hadn’t turned her away. Surely that had to be a good sign.
“Uh t-take a seat, take a seat” he said as they walked into the kitchen, involuntarily repeating himself as he tried to recompose himself in order to talk to his daughter. Lola and Harry awkwardly seated themselves on two black stalls. Alan gripped his chin as he looked at her, not knowing where to start. She was so….grown up, so beautiful. He knew there was always going to so much he had missed out on, but he never imagined it would feel like such an ache to see it.
”I don’t know what to say” he admitted, with a weak coarse chuckle and shrug. “How did you get here for starters? How did you know where I am?”
“We’ve been travelling for four nights to find you. Gran gave me your address” Lola said. She couldn’t stop looking at him, all the memories of her early childhood flooding back.
Alan sighed as he remembered that Lola had occasional contact with his Mother. He assumed he’d been bad mouthed about too. He never really spoke to his Mum now, regretably, but it wasn’t easy to reform broken relationships. He’d thought about Lola now and then, but didn’t have the guts or time to do anything about it. He had a busy working life, a new wife. He hadn’t had time to consider her. But now here she was, unexpectedly turned up.
“Well, since you’re here, and you both look like you could do with a few hours rest and a wash…I well, I do have a spare room upstairs”
Lola raised her eyebrows, suprised that he was accepting her so willingly. She glanced at Harry who gave a grateful nod.
“Really?”
“Sure. Lucky for you, you arrived on a day where I don’t have work and I was just planning on a few drinks with people from the office, but that’s not all that important”
“Well, thank you. We haven’t really had any sleep for two or three nights” Lola laughed slightly, shuffling in her chair. Alan narrowed his eyes at them suspiciously for a second, looking at Harry
“Are you two….together?”
“Er, no we’re not” Lola answered. She felt suddenly under the maginifying glass as he inspected the two of them, so many questions burning the tip of his tongue. The room fell silent as he paced back and forth slowly, hand shading his mouth as he filtered all his queries
“Not that it’s not good to see you Lola, but….why are you here, kid?”
Lola felt a little uncomfortable, almost unwanted as he asked that question. Wasn’t it obvious? It’s not like she was here for money. Why else would she want to spend four nights looking for the Dad she hasn’t seen in twelve years?
“I wanted to find you….i’ve always been wanting to find you” she admitted, in a quieter voice. She was telling herself not to start crying, not to let that lump form in her throat or show him just how much this had meant to her.
Harry felt awkward as he sensed the tension in the air, knowing that Lola was feeling extremely nervous inside but was trying not to show it. He wanted to reach out and give her hand a squeeze but refrained from it, rubbing his own instead.
He coughed into his fist and stood up “Is it alright if I use your toilet? And you two can, talk or whatever”
“Er yeah yeah, first door on the left”
“Thanks, I’ll just go outside and leave you to it-“
“Actually hang about” Alan put his hand out to stop Harry “Can I have a word with you first…” he left his question waiting for Harry to reply with his name
“Harry”
“Harry” Alan repeated. Harry coughed again, a nervous habit and glanced at Lola. Lola nodded and pulled her sleeves down over her hands as she stood up
“Yeah yeah sure” he said, sweeping his curls to the side. Lola squeezed past Harry in the doorway and wandered out the room into unfamiliar surroundings, taking in everything. She couldn’t believe she was here, inside her Dad’s house. She recognised him so clearly after this long. Although his house didn’t really have much of a ‘home’ feel. There were no photographs hanging up in the halls, and mediocre DIY in the process. It wasn’t very cosy and it was kind of cold, to her dissappointment. But being offered a room here had to be ten times better than another night in a tent or shabby hotel. She was just grateful that she’d finally found what she wanted for so long.
In the kitchen, Alan closed the door behind.
“Do you want a drink or anything?” he asked
“Uh yeah water would be good, thank you”
He filled up a glass of water slowly, placing it down infront of Harry who was curious as to why he was the one Alan wanted to talk to first.
“Jesus Christ, this is not what i’d planned out for today” Alan muttered into his palms “Surely you two can’t have fed on much if that rucksack is all you’ve got”
“No, well, we’ve done alright” Harry laughed slightly
“So….you’re probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you?”
“Yeah, sort of”
Alan propped his elbow on the counter, posing the question “How well do you know my daughter?”
Harry thought of how he’d adjusted to recognising her emotions, and knowing how she’d respond to certain things. He could predict what words he could say that she’d hate, and what would make her blush. Plus the physical aspects and how he’d become to know each inch of her addictive body.
“Pretty well”
“Well, I don’t know if you’re friends, or involved with each other” he said, and Harry imagined telling him that he infact used to bully Lola endlessly “But if there’s one thing i’d like to know, it’s whether Lola has her hopes up for something”
Harry frowned slightly “What do you mean?”
“C’mon kid, I could see it in your face when you walked through the door. You know full well that she does. Because I wasn’t prepared to commit to a perfect relationship all of a sudden after all these years, and I don’t want her to get hurt again. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and all, and i’m glad to see she’s doing okay and interested in meeting me again, but I can’t promise anything to her. You understand that right?”
Harry nodded slowly “Yeah, I get that”
“I’m only telling you this because I don’t want to set it straight with Lola and make her hate me right away, I do want to give it a chance which is why i’m offering you a room to stay. So I can reconnect with my daughter, and see…what happens you know”
A crease formed between Harrys brows and he shifted his jaw slightly. He knew not to expect anything too unrealistic, and was hoping Lola wasn’t either. But he knew that she had all these dreams for a perfect Dad.
Harry stood up and looked down her Dad, slightly taller than him “I know I don’t like….know you and stuff. But if you’re planning on letting her down, tell me now and we’ll leave. Because I don’t want her to get false hope now that we’ve finally found you. She doesn’t need it”
Alan nodded slowly, focusing on Harry and his tone when he spoke, almost protective “You must care about her”
Harry looked down at his feet and gulped “I do”
Alan sat down on one of the seats at the kitchen table and sighed to himself “You know, I never wanted to leave her”
“Then why did you?”
“Because….” he rubbed his forehead through a yawn “I couldn’t stand being in that house anymore. That woman. Her mother, she was just..” he tried to find the right word, wavering his hands to look for it
“Poison?”
“Yes! Exactly that. You met her then I take it?”
“Yes, but you know, this is all why Lola is here. You’re the only one she has left. Christina left her, and her little brother. And my Dad too. My Dad took them in, but Lola doesn’t want to settle for that. She wants someone of her own flesh and blood, that wants her back”
“Christina left?” Alan asked, shaking his head “Don’t know why i’m suprised. It was an awful thing of me to do, leaving Lola with her as a Mum. She wasn’t fully capable of being a Mother. And it shows in how mature Lola is. At least she’s got a good friend to make up for the broken family”
Harry nodded, knowing at the back of mind that he was never anywhere near the value of friend before. He was a bully, a disgrace, the reason Lola self harmed. It made him feel sick and guilty now to think back to when he found her lying on the bathroom floor in her own blood. Razor blade by her side, and slashes cut into her thighs. Something had changed between then and now, the thought of her being in such pain caused a wrench in his stomach and a burning ball in his chest. She was so fragile that he didn’t know how she handled his abuse for so long.
“I don’t want anyone to hurt her the way I did” Alan mumbled
Harry gazed into space as he heard the words, continuing to visualise Lola in his head. How she responded under his touch, the way her stomach quivered under his fingers, or how her lips trembled when he kissed them. The way she reacted to him was like no other. The way she had accustomed to seeking comfort in him now, and using him for protection and safety. Even in four days, she’d attached herself to him quicker than she imagined possible. And Harry had done the same unconciously, evident with how vigilant he was about her meeting her Dad.
It was then that Harry really heard the words her Dad just said, and if there was one thing he could do right now considering the circumstances, he vowed to himself not to let any more harm come to her.
PLEASE READ BELOW Please vote on these chapters and this story so I can show the origional writer. She would be so happy and I want to get at least 200 votes on the whole story before I start uploading the sequel that is currently in progress. Once again... THIS IS NOT MY STORY. All credit goes to xxfan1direction.tumblr.com go follow and check her out. She has an amazing blog and is a beautiful writer.