Hate the Player and the Game
Part III
Chapter 35
Diamond
A week before I turned eighteen, Gay Tony told me that he had bought me an apartment on the east side of Queens. When he picked me up and took me to it, I was so amazed at how small and roomy it was at the same time. It was perfect for me. It was a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with plush, off-white carpet in my room and polished wooden floors in the living area. It was on the fifth floor of a building that looked like a small hotel. I hugged Gay Tony and thanked him for everything. He had took me furniture shopping, and I spent two thousand dollars that I had in the bank on a bedroom set and on a living room set. I even bought a small dinette set to eat at and decorated my kitchen and bathroom. Gay Tony said that he had me on the bills and he even took me to get my license. When the group home released me, I stood in the middle of my apartment with a smile on my face. I had cable, a phone that worked, and a refrigerator filled with food. All I truly needed was a car, but I didn't want to ask Gay Tony for anything else because he already had done enough for me. I needed to start to get money flowing. If I wanted to get into the business, then I knew that I was going to have to start somewhere, so one day I went out and bought a big pot, and some baking soda. I had to learn to do some shit on my own so I cooked up some cocaine with Gay Tony's directions written on a napkin. I kept trying and trying until I got it right. I spent weeks in my apartment trying to make that cocaine just right, and when I did, I tested it out by selling it to someone who was familiar with the drug. I didn't try it, but I sold it to a man that lived next door that said that he did coke and he said it was perfect. I started slinging crack and I started to get more and more professional with it. I started making capsules and selling them to the man more often. He started telling me about some of his friends that did coke and I started selling to them too. When they asked me what my name was, I didn't know what to say to them. It seemed like every big time hustler had a nick name, but I loved my first name, so instead of a silly nick name, I went by Diamond Sheard. Using Cruze's last name was the only thing I had left of him. I barely knew that boy anymore. I hadn't spoken or seen him in four long years and to know that he was still alive somehow put a little relief in my spirit. I had to forget about Cruze, but how could I? He was my first love.
At eighteen, I was a woman. I was making enough money to keep myself kept and I was living off of a gay drug lord. Dealing was the only job I knew. I refused to reduce my standards to becoming a stripper. I was smart and I pretty much invited myself into the game. It was a whole new battle field that I was taking on and I was determined to win. To be a hustler as a female, I knew that I had many obstacles to overcome, especially when it came to gaining respect by men. I had to learn to act hard, and be hard, not only when I was angry, but all the time. I constantly trained myself on how to speak if I was ever crossed the wrong way, and I trained myself on what to do in the near future if I ever had beef. Gay Tony was constantly at my apartment checking up on me and seeing how much money I was making. He laughed in my face when he only saw under four hundred dollars that I had saved. I was only dealing a little dope that I had cooked and created myself. It wasn't like I was a big time hustler, which I wanted to be. Gay Tony's laugh humiliated me. It made me feel disrespected and beneath him. I needed money and I wanted money, and what I wanted, I got. I controlled my anger every time Gay Tony laughed at me. I decided that I was going to build an empire, but I knew that I had to start from the bottom and that's where I was at the moment. I was at rock bottom and I knew that it would take some time before I got to that level in the game.
I hung with Chardenay and Cleondra more and more now that I could do what I wanted. I even let them stay at my crib when they wanted to. I didn't want them to find out what I was doing with drugs so I hid my small factory in the deepest space there was in my closet. The twins decided that they wanted to go out to a night club one September night so I threw on a hot pink dress that hugged my body in all of the right places, slid my feet in some black stilettos, and painted my face beautifully with makeup that matched my caramel skin color. My hair was tied into a pretty up-do with pieces of curled hair sticking out over each of my ears. I sprayed on some expensive perfume and iced myself up in jewelry. When I saw the twins were ready, we called a cab and hopped in it. The cab drove us to a night club down town. Me and the twins hopped out of the cab and went to wait in line. As time flew past and we were getting impatient, we all cut to the front of the line and I watched Chardenay work her magic on the security guard. He ended up lifting the rope for us and we waltzed into the club with sways in our hips like we were the shit. We danced and let loose just like we used to back when we were in high school. As we partied, we also started to get stupid drunk. When the night club was starting to die down, we left and started walking up the street to call another cab when suddenly a big, silver SUV pulled up beside us. The window rolled down and an ugly bald man stuck his head out of the passenger side. "Ayye ladies.......yall want a ride"? He asked. I looked at the twins and we laughed our asses off. As we walked, the truck started to drive along side us. We were only eighteen years old and the man looked well into his thirties. I wondered what other friends that he had in his car that would try to holla at us if we got in. The thought of that disgusted me. We kept walking and the man grew impatient with us so the SUV came to a hault and I watched the man get out and point a a silver glock 45 at us. We all screamed and stopped walking. I just wanted to go home. I didn't know why this fool was jocking us, but all I knew was that I was getting angry more than I was getting scared. "Get in the car". The man said through clenched teeth as he approached Cleondra and grabbed her arm. He started to pull her to the truck, but Chardenay lunged for her sister and tried to pull her back. The man then pointed his gun at Chardenay. Chardenay let go of Cleondra at the sight of the gun and stumbled back.
"What do you want with us"?! Chardenay yelled. "Please let her go"!
"Yeah"! I cut in. "We were on our way home.....what do yall fools want"?!
"We will pay you"! Cleondra blurted out trying to pull away from the bald man's grasp.
"Naah see, yall gon' get in this damn truck". The man said. We all watched as the back door opened up and two of the man's friends were sitting there smiling at us. One of them looked young like he was about my age. He sat there and smiled at me, but I didn't smile back. I wanted to punch all of the men in their got damn faces. "Get in". The man ordered. We all did and soon enough, the man got back in the passenger side and the truck drove off. As we rode, I watched one man touch and feel on Cleondra's thy's. She jerked with every move he made. The young man that starred at me didn't even touch me. We drove for a long time until I looked out of the window and saw the straight hood. We were in the gutter of Queens and my apartment was far away from where we were. They parked just outside of a small house and each man dragged one of us into it. The young man threw me on the couch. I watched the others drag Chardenay and Cleondra up the stairs. Their screams were unbearable. I sat there with the young man just starring at me. If I wanted to, I could take his ass in one punch, but I was exhausted and drunk, and didn't even feel like moving.
"Just do it". I said with heart. "Do it.....do whatever you want to me"! The young man just starred at me blankly.
"First off, I don't get down like that". He said. "Second, Rich didn't drag yall here to get fucked". Rich must've been the bald guy pointing the gun at us.
"Then why are we here"? I asked the young man.
"Wow.....a nigga can't even know your name first"?
"I said......why are we here"? I repeated.
"Wow okay, my name is Armani". I starred at Armani. He looked young like he was just about to turn twenty, but he handled me like a grown ass man.
"I'm Diamond......now tell me why me and my friends are here. What are they doing to them up there"? I asked.
"Oh, your friends are getting fucked, but trust me, fucking them wasn't the reason why Rich chose to get yall of the street".
"Then what is it then? Why did that nigga Rich drag us here"? I asked.
"Rich is a sleazy nigga with an anger management problem that wants to act like some big time baller. He wanted lot's of females to just work for him like he has bitches or something with his alcoholic ass, but yall are the first".
"Work for him doing what"?
"Just to fuck when he wants, count his money, walk around lookin' sexy, show up to parties with him.......you know. He wants that baller look. He saw three sexy bitches walkin' down the streets and copped em".
"Well then why am I down here with you and my friends are upstairs"? I asked.
"Oh because I already had dibs on you before you got in the car". Armani sounded like a little ass kid, but when I really took a good look at him, I realized that he was really sexy. He was a high yellow in skin color, and had skinny, long, dark brown braids in his head. He was tall and skinny, but had enough biceps to make his body look gorgeous. I took my gaze off of him and was worried about Chardenay and Cleondra when I heard them screaming.
"Can you please help them"? I asked low key begging. I watched Armani shake his head no and it made me angry so I slapped him clear across the face. Armani just looked back up at me laughing. "Nothing is funny. Go help my fucking friends". I demanded.
"I can't. Your just going to have to wait until Rich and Cleavon bust their nuts". I listened to Armani angrily. There was four men in the car when I had got in. The man driving, Rich, Armani, and the other one that was in the backseat with us must've been Cleavon.
"How long is that going to take"? I asked nervously.
"Well, since your friends are not really setting the mood, it should take about a good thirty minutes to an hour". Armani replied. I sighed afraid of what the twins would say or do to me once they found out that I had not been touched and didn't try to help them. I didn't have a cell phone so how could I call for help. All I could do was sit and wait and I wasn't going to talk to Armani as long as I was there. Once he realized that I had been ignoring him, he got up and walked into the kitchen and entertained himself with drinks. Time flew by and I was starting to grow tired. It had to at least been four in the morning. I quickly snapped myself back to reality when I saw the twins stumble down the steps. I saw bruises on their faces, and their hair was all messed up. When Chardenay saw me, she ran and hugged me, but Cleondra was outraged.
"You bitch"! She yelled. "Why haven't you been touched? You set us up didn't you"?
"Cleondra, I don't even know these men". I say defending myself.
"Then why haven't you been touched"!? She demanded to know.
"That man over there". I said pointing to Armani who was just walking out of the kitchen to hear what was going on. "He told the men upstairs that he would handle me and he never did".
"Diamond.....you always have to get special attention! Well this time was the last straw! You didn't even try to help us"! Cleondra screamed at me.
"How could I. Armani wasn't about to just let me call five-o and I don't even have a cell phone to begin with"! I yelled back.
"I knew we should have never went out with you"!
"Cleo.......it's not her fault that the guy over there decided not to touch her". Chardenay said standing up for me.
"Oh so now your taking sides with this bitch"?! Cleondra asked rudely. "Chardenay she didn't even try to save yo black ass when you was getting beat on five minutes ago"!
"Cleondra she already explained why she couldn't". Chardenay said. All of a sudden Cleondra lunged past Chardenay and smacked me clear across my face. I held my right cheek angrily. I was just about to jump on her when Chardenay caught me and threw me back.
"NO"! Chardenay shouted. "We are all sisters! We are not fighting today"!
"Sisters"? Cleondra asked sarcastically. "Not anymore we're not. I don't even want to see that back stabbing bitch ever again Chardenay". I was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. Cleondra was talking like I wasn't even there. "I had never been raped before until this day and the bitch that I thought was my best friend didn't even try to help me". Soon enough I saw Rich and Cleavon make their way down the stairs with the driver following close behind. The twins started to have more tears in their eyes when they saw them.
"I thought that yall was going to make good mistresses around here, but yall ain't shit. Yall's pussy would have been all of that if yall would have stopped fighting and took daddy's big dick". Rich said angrily.
"Fuck you"! Cleondra said hacking up a glob of saliva and spitting right on Rich's face. Rich angrily wiped it away and charged after Cleondra. He grabbed her neck and pinned her right up against the front door of the house. His whole entire hand seemed to take over her whole neck. His grip was so tight that Cleondra's brown face was turning red.
"First of all bitch, Cleavon got all up in yo pussy.......I had the thicker and much prettier one over there". He said nodding his head toward Chardenay. "So next time, you need to watch who you spit yo dirty ass saliva on". I watched Rich draw back his right arm and back hand Cleondra. She twisted then slid down the front door crying. Rich then looked at Chardenay. "I like you, but you too much of a fighter. I wanted to see what yall were like so I could hire yall to be my bitches, but yall couldn't even get no dick without being scared. I already told yall that there was nothing to be scared of, but you continued to act like a scary ass little girl so both of yall can get the hell up out my house"! Rich yelled. I could see his brown face start to turn red. That was how angry he was. He then looked over at me and his anger seemed to disappear. He smiled as he starred. "I almost forgot about you though sweetness. Where you been when we were upstairs"?
"I had her". Armani said. Rich looked over and his anger returned.
"You mean to tell me that you had this sexy bitch down here the whole time and didn't send her up to me"!? He yelled.
"That's right. I called her when we were in the car. I saw her first Rich". Armani said.
"You know what, I ain't even gon' get mad". Rich said. He then walked over to me. "You hired if you want to be my mistress". I jerked at his words.
"Fuck you mean? Fuck you". I said angrily. "You disrespected my friends and now your asking me to work for you"?! I watched as Rich's smile disappeared.
"Well fine......all yall get the fuck up out my house"! He yelled going over to the door and pushing Cleondra out of the way. He opened it up and grabbed Chardenay's arm and threw her out, then he did the same to Cleondra. I walked past him, but wouldn't let him grab me.
"You ain't got to touch me like that. I'm going". I said to him. I didn't realize at first, but Armani had followed me out of the house leaving Rich in shock. Rich then slammed the door and Armani just smiled at us. He pulled a set of car keys out of his pocket.
"I'll take yall home". He volunteered.
"Okay, thanks". I said. We all hopped in the SUV and with Cleondra not talking to me, and Chardenay still crying, the long ride to the good side of the city to my apartment was awkward. When I directed Armani to the apartment building, we all got out of the SUV and thanked him for being nice. He then drove away with a smile on his face. As soon as we entered my apartment, I watched Cleondra go over to her stuff and start to pack her shit. "And where exactly do you think your going"? I asked.
"To stay with a friend because I know that your surely not one of them". She said. Chardenay was watching with tears in her eyes because I knew she was sad to think that me and Cleondra's friendship had ended. I watched Cleondra pack her shit without saying two words to her. After a minute Chardenay started to pack her shit too. She claimed that we were still friends, but she had to go and watch over Cleondra. I sneered at her. Cleondra was grown and didn't need Chardenay's supervision so why in the hell was she really going? I watched them both cry as they packed, then Cleondra went over to my house phone and called some chick up.
"Hello..........yeah it's me Cleondra. You would never guess what happened to me and my sister.......we were walking to catch a cab when a man pulled up, aimed a gun at us, and told us to get in his damn car. They drove us back to his place in the straight gutter and violated us. You know Diamond right.............yeah her, she was there too. The men didn't touch her ass at all. She didn't even try to help us. Yeah, that bitch ain't a friend no more". I had heard enough. I had stood there with my arms crossed over my chest and watched as Cleondra degraded me and made it seem like I was some type of bitch for a friend. I went to her, snatched the phone out of her hands, and put it to my ear.
"Who ever this is, I really do care for my friends and I tried to help, but I couldn't. I'm this close to killing Cleondra because she doesn't realize it"! I yelled slamming the phone back on the hook. I starred into Cleondra's angry eyes and she starred into mine.
"Why did you do that"? She asked pushing me.
"It's my phone in my apartment. I do what I want". I said pushing her back and adding a slap to her face. Cleondra looked up at me angrily then she ran toward me with her nails ready to claw me down. I grabbed her weave and held her head down as I punched her back with all of my strength, but Chardenay had pulled me off and held me back letting Cleondra land a right hook to my face and a kick to my stomach. I fell to the floor heaving, while Chardenay slapped Cleondra in the face. Cleondra was a fighter, but I knew that the one person that she couldn't beat was her big sister Chardenay. Chardenay was so nice to everyone that she didn't care about fighting, but when she did, you had to have really pissed her off about something. I watched Chardenay continue to yank Cleondra's hair and slap her around yelling at her for hitting me. She let go of Cleondra and let her little sister stumble back a few spaces. I got off of the floor and ran past Chardenay who didn't even see me coming and jumped at Cleondra with full speed in my heels and let my right fist connect with her jaw. The bitch should have seen my rage coming when she kicked me in my stomach. She already knew that I didn't play that shit. Once I was mad, I was mad and there was no calming me down and once I was fighting, I was fighting, and there was no stopping me from beating your ass. I grabbed Cleondra's neck with my left hand and let my anger get taken out on her with my right. I punched the shit out of her leaving her left cheek red as an apple. She looked like she had given up and was just letting me win. She was getting her ass beat by me and she knew I wasn't going to stop until I saw that she was busted up. I hadn't even realized that Chardenay had been trying to pull me off. Once I turned into my beastly form, I couldn't feel anything. Anger did that to me. It seemed like I turned into some sort of demon and let it take over my body when I got angry and as I started to calm down from punching Cleondra square in her face multiple times, I took a look at her with my right fist still cocked back before I was about to hit her again. I was so ashamed at what I had did to my best friend. I didn't mean to. As I starred at her, I almost cried. The top of her eye brow was big and purple, her eye had a dark rim under it, her cheek was big and red, and the side of her top and bottom lip were big and busted. She looked out of it too like I almost knocked her unconscious. I put down my fists and started to shake her. "Cleondra, Cleondra"! I yelled nervously.
"Oh my God"! I heard Chardenay scream. "What have you done to my sister?! I tried to pull you off, but you just wouldn't stop hitting her Diamond"! I then felt Chardenay yank me by my hair and throw me on the ground. I deserved to get my ass beat so I let Chardenay do it. I knew she was still my friend, but I had to be taught a lesson when it came to my anger. I felt Chardenay's shoes hit my skin as she kicked the shit out of me, then I felt her fists everywhere from my face to my body. She had not been playing. I had beat the shit out of her little sister and now she was beating the shit out of me. Chardenay was my best friend, but she could also be like a mom toward me. When she was finished with me, I had bruises all over and I could tastes blood from my lip on my tongue. I watched Chardenay run to the kitchen and get bags of ice and a wet towel. She then ran back to Cleondra and started to soothe her. I just stood up and limped to my room. I fell onto my king-sized bed and kicked off my shoes. I felt my stinging cheek where Chardenay had punched me, and Cleondra had slapped me. I jerked at the pain. I had just gotten into a huge fight with my two closest friends. I knew that Chardenay was still my girl, but I didn't know about Cleondra. About five minutes later, I heard Chardenay on the phone asking someone to come pick them up first thing in the morning. When I fell asleep and woke up the next day, they were gone.