Chapter Twenty-Six
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The cold woke me up. I shivered awake with questions filling my mind.
Cold? It was early summer. And every day before this was warm and humid.
But this bitter cold chilled me to the bones. This was the type of cold that made your teeth chatter. The type that made you run back under the covers after you woke up, and made you swear you shall never rise again.
It made me think of Christmas. And peppermint. Maybe hot chocolate too. This was the type of cold that you expected around Christmas, when the year was coming to an end and everybody wore sweaters and scarves and big boots that made clunking noises everywhere.
In my shorts and cami, I wasn’t prepared for this temperature.
Wrapping my blanket around me, I lazily trudged to my dresser. I was half asleep, but the draft in my room was waking me up at a rapid rate. I was in the middle of grabbing my sweatpants when the thought dawned on me.
It wasn’t supposed to be this cold.
Not bothering with my blanket or sweats, I opened my door and ran to the kitchen, almost tripping over Mr. Meowsir in the process. I saw my mother there, sipping her coffee. I grinned and walked over to her but stopped when I saw that she was wearing that same yellow dress that she wore every day I saw her for the past hundred odd days.
So I wasn’t back.
I felt a wave of goosebumps travel over my body, and end at my lips, which were shaking madly. For some reason, this overcame the disappointment of not being back.
Being fully awake now, I fast walked back to my room, blowing warm air into my hands. I quickly pulled a sweatshirt over my head and put some sweatpants on over my shorts, sighing from the relief.
I started to walk around, but then realized both my feet and hands were chilled. Rolling my eyes, I walked back to my dresser and shoveled around for my gloves and thick winter socks – items I never used in ever so sunny California.
I was in the middle of stepping into my slippers when I noticed it. The vase. Empty. I finished sliding on the slippers and shuffled over to my desk, where the vase sat daintily. It was empty, yes, but that is not what bothered me the most. The vase was clear. Not multi-colored and exotic.
Putting my hand on it, I tried to pick it up, but recoiled when small chips of ice formed on my gloves, attempting to trap it. They looked like small hands for a second, trying to reel me into their frozen world.
Stepping away from the vase, I went to my closet and changed from my slippers to UGGs. Then I walked outside, into the snow.
I’d never seen anything like it. It was, to put it quite simply, a winter wonderland. The trees were completely bare, ice chips hanging menacingly from the skinny branches. Snow covered every inch of the ground, and it glistened in the sun. The air smelt of winter, a mix of pines and chimney fires. My nose and cheeks burnt as the deeply cold air blew against them, and my lips became increasingly chapped with the lack of moisture in the air.
I sat down and shivered as I felt the water in the snow seep through my pants and onto my skin. I didn’t get back up though. It felt nice. A reminder that I was alive, no matter the circumstances. It kept me keen and focused.
Counting the months it’d been since I must have disappeared from the regular world, I figured it would be November. Or December. Maybe January, I don’t know. Time became irrelevant a long time ago. I wrapped my arms around my knees and started swaying in the snow. I relished the scenery I was experiencing, whether real or not.
I wondered what Brent would think about this.
… Brent!
The events of today’s past came reeling into my head, and with them came tears. Brent and I were over. Meg was dead. Andrea is most likely insane and might be watching me at this very moment.
At that thought, I gave a quick, wary glance around me. Nothing. Nothing but white.
I took a deep breath and tried to keep myself from crying. I’d been doing too much of that lately. To comfort myself, I assured myself that Brent and I were probably going to get back together.
God I was so stupid! I spent my whole life fawning over him, and then end it because of something as stupid as what happened yesterday? I threw everything away, just like that.
Maybe it was for the best, I thought. Maybe this is just a test of how strong our relationship is. If he comes back, he really loves me.
“Until then, I won’t go looking for him,” I muttered softly to myself, letting my pride get the best of me.
I nodded as to accept the promise, and then pushed myself off the ground as the coolness on the back of my legs was beginning to turn into an uncomfortable numbing sensation.
Shaking the snow off myself, I stepped back inside, and heard my parents speaking.
“My beautiful girls! Good morning!” I heard my dad say.
“Oh, Darius, relax won’t you?” my mom retorted.
“I simply will not, Alexandrie. My darling, give me a reason to,” my dad said.
I stepped into the kitchen and saw them in the usual morning scene, speaking to an empty space by the refrigerator.
“Hey, Hail-Rain,” my dad says, and I smiled sadly at my nickname. He grinned at the empty spot where I usually stood. “You mind running to the other fridge to get us some milk?”
“It’s gonna cost you,” I muttered for old times’ sake.
I saw him roll his eyes and smirk at me. “What’s it worth to you?”
“Whatever you want to give me,” I answered to the non-responsive figure. I’d never felt so alone.
“Why don’t you take your mom’s Bugatti today?” my dad said, and I once again saw my mother shoot him daggers.
“No, I don’t want to,” I said, even though I knew it wasn’t going to change anything.
This made my heart clench. The thought of being so unimportant. No matter what I did, I could not change anything. Absolutely nothing.
And now I was alone. At least, with Brent or Alex or Andrea, I could have some sort of company.
But now, I had no one. Just because of what I’d done.
“You’re welcome sweetheart,” my dad said, and his words made my throat close up.
“Thank you Daddy,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
I finally let myself cry. And really cry. The type where you slowly sink the ground. When your tears soak your shoulders, matt you hair to your face, and make your skin stiff when they dry.
“She’s so great,” I heard my mom say.
I stopped my crying at once. My ears perked up and I listened intently to my parents. I’d never heard this conversation. I must have been already gone when it happened… on that day.
“She is,” my father agreed. “It really is too bad she’s leaving for college in a few months.”
“Stanford is ecstatic to have her,” my mother said.
Hm. Stanford. I had forgotten I was going there. Brent and I both were, actually.
But sometimes you don’t have chances to do things you wanted because fate decides it wants to cut your life short.
“We have the best little girl you could ever ask for,” my dad said softly.
“I know,” my mother said proudly. I raised my head from its position on the floor and looked at my parents. They were smiling at each other, obviously remembering every memorable moment they’ve had with me since I was a child.
“Darius, what are we going to do?” my mom asks. I stand up and dust myself off, then look at my parents. The tension between them could sag your shoulders it was so thick.
“I don’t know, Alexandrie,” my father whispers.
I see sadness in the eyes and faces of both of my parents that I have never seen before. The wrinkles in my mother’s eyes appear to sink deeper into her face, filled with secrets of a life I never knew. I’d never seen creases on my father’s forehead. He was always smiling, so young and lively. But his face is full of weariness and disappointment now.
“I don’t want to keep playing this charade,” my mother said and I could bet my family’s whole fortune her voice cracked.
Tears were beginning to well in both of my parent’s eyes.
“I don’t know how we should tell her about the divorce,” my father said.
Silence.
Then it sank into me.
My parents were getting a divorce.
And they never told me.
Everything I knew was falling. Brent and I were nothing anymore. I had no friends, no one to speak to, for all of them were either dead or non-responsive. My life was literally over, even though a twist of fate has kept me alive.
I am dead, along with everything else that I’ve ever cherished.
How could I let it get like this? I didn’t even realize I was falling off a cliff until I hit the bottom. I thought I had it all so perfect. Everyone loved me, or so I thought. But my life was secretly cracking, breaking off in pieces, until the day that it all finally broke apart. A gunshot was all it took.
I started falling with all the pieces of it, and I desperately tried to hang onto them as best as I could.
But now here I was, with nothing but pieces.
And it felt like there was one lodged into my heart.
They say your life flashes before you when you are having your last moments. But that never happened to me. All I thought about was Brent. I was so focused on Brent, I didn’t care to realize that my parent’s marriage was breaking apart.
That I was slowly dying on the inside.
It was so hard to understand, how everything can be perfect one second, and torn the next.
It was going to take some time to heal, if I even did.
What I thought was my reality turned to be a complete lie. Everything I knew, everything I thought to be true…
Fake.
“Well, we wouldn’t have to if you didn’t-!” my mother yelled, and she slammed her hand down on the table, as if it was a word and punctuation to her sentence at once.
“It is not my fault Alexandrie,” my father said sternly.
“You cheated on me,” my mother said. She stood up and stalked over to my father, pointing a finger in his face. “You cheated on me! How dare you say that it is not your fault!”
“Honey, you’re always-“
“Don’t you dare call me honey,” my mother said flatly, attempting to compose herself. She was flattening her hair with her hands, which had stood up in many directions as if it was trying to get away from her anger.
“You’re always out of town, working. I get lonely, I’m sorry. You forgave me!”
“Care for Mr. Meowsir, then, if you get lonely. And I did not forgive you. When you told me, I was in such shock that all I could do was nod and walk away. What did you expect me to do? Hug you and tell you it’s all ok?” My mother smiled at my father and shook her head. “No, we are no longer, Darius. We have to tell Hailee, she deserves to know.”
My father frowned. “Do you want to devastate her that much? She’s our little girl.”
“We both know she’s not our ‘little girl’ anymore. She is eighteen today. Grown up,” my mother’s voice shook and her face wrinkled in sadness. She put her hand on her mouth and let out a choked cry. “Moving away. It will just be you and me.”
My father moved in to hug my mother, and she didn’t refuse his comfort. She cried in his arms, and he lay his head on hers, shutting his eyes tight.
I saw a tear roll down his face.
Running to my mother and father, I put my arms apart to embrace them in a hug, even if they didn’t know I was there. I stood behind my mother, laying my head on his shoulder. Something hit the crown of my head. Reaching to touch it. I felt a wet spot in that area. Figuring it was my father’s tears, I gingerly wiped them from his face, expecting him to realize I was there at any second.
But then again, that was my imagination running wild. I knew there was no possibility of that ever happening.
I let myself accept that.
I was never going to see anyone again. It was just me and my thoughts. The thought was unbearable, comforting at the same time. I was not going to mess up anybody’s life again by involving them with me. Nope, never again.
This is what I deserve, I thought. This is what I get for being such a bad person. For not appreciating what I had when I had it.
For not thinking about something before I did it.
But does it even matter now? I’m all alone. I can do whatever I want. I smiled at that thought.
I’d always wanted to do that.
My thoughts go in circles, I thought. I always think about the same thing, over and over, but in different words. My mind was never quiet. My mother always told me this was a bad thing. That peace in your mind was one of the keys to a peaceful life.
But then again, that was during her yoga-and-mediation phases. My mother said all sorts of crazy things when she was on one of her ‘phases.’
That’s what my father and I called it anyway. My mother was known to be a fickle woman. She was always over-passionate, over-obsessed with one thing. But she’d quickly lose interest and move on to the next best thing.
It’s kind of a miracle my parents’ marriage lasted this long, considering.
But it’s not even my mother’s fault. My father cheated on her.
The feeling of my father repulsed me. How could he do this to her? How could he do this to me? He knew they were both my bases. I loved my parents. As a package. My mother annoyed me by herself. And my father was always too optimistic whenever my mother’s negative energy wasn’t around to balance it.
I thought about the holidays. When I came home from college, who would I visit? Would I visit my mom half the time, and my dad the rest? Should I have them spend the holidays together, just to help me feel at home?
Or should I just avoid it all together, and not come home?
I stopped myself. Why am I thinking about this? I’m never going to make it back. I already gave up on that thought.
Something in the back of my mind whispered. “You have to, Hailee. For me, for your parents.”
It was Brent’s voice.
I loved him. So dearly. How was I ever so stupid to think that we wouldn’t work out in the end?
We weren’t meant to be just best friends, no. We were acting like it, and that is why it didn’t work.
We were soul-mates. Meant to be together.
The thought made me grin. I still had Brent. And with him, everything was more bearable.
Throwing my pride away, I resolved to go see him first.
Jogging to my room, I stopped to pet Mr. Meowsir briefly.
“Who’s my honey pie?” I asked, ruffling his ears. “Who’s my dog? Mr. Meowsir! Yes he is!” I cooed.
When I got to my room, I briefly looked in the mirror to see if I needed any fixing.
Yes. I desperately needed a shower. My hair looked so gross… And I need to get a change of clothes.
I was in the process of picking out an outfit when a thought hit me. Brent didn’t care what I looked like. He even said so himself. That’s what I loved about him. He loved me just the way I was.
At least, I still think he loves me.
The thought scared me, and made me think of not going. But I stopped. I was being ridiculous. Of course he still loved me.
Grabbing the first warm things I found, I made my way to the closet and took a quick shower. I exited and dressed, brushing my hair with my fingers while I blow-dried it. There was no way I could stand wet hair in this weather. It would literally freeze the second I walked outside.
I walked back to my room, and I grabbed my bag. It was like I never noticed anything until I left, but I saw the clear vase and went to it.
I was tempted to touch it. So I did. I put my hand on it and brought my face closer to watch as the little ice chips formed over my hand. The process was beautiful. It was like the wave of death that wreaked havoc over the rose I held at Brent’s house.
When the ice had covered my whole hand, I attempted to break myself away from it. My hand didn’t budge. The ice began to grow on my wrist and I tried to break it off me once again. No success.
The ice was well on its way to my shoulder when I began to panic. I had no use of my right hand, wrist or elbow .All I could move was my shoulder, and it didn’t help at all.
I knew there was no solution to this. I couldn’t touch it with my other hand, as that one would get trapped as well.
There was only one thing to do: break it.
I tested my strength. Yes, I could easily lift this vase, but the ice forming on my arm was the problem, for it was heavy. The ice was almost to my shoulder. Using the last bit of movement I had left in my arm, I picked up the vase, aimed for the corner of my desk and…
Smash.
The vase broke into millions of shiny shards of clear glass. The ice immediately melted off of my hand, leaving it completely dry, oddly enough.
Something began to sizzle. I looked down and saw that the glass was burning a hole through my floor. It was getting larger. And larger. I backed up, and up, and up, until I nearly had nowhere to go. The hole was swallowing my whole room, and quickly. I leaped for my door and caught it, standing on my tippy toes on the last bit of ground that was left there.
Allowing myself one look down, I glanced over the edge and screamed. There was nothing, absolutely nothing but pitch black.
I kept thinking this was a dream, that maybe I’d wake up when I remembered that I don’t necessarily dream. Only the short visions I used to get every once in a while.
I opened the door and stepped out, and looked at my room one last time. The walls were beginning to cave. I didn’t want to cry, I knew I would see my room once again, but everything about it seemed so final. The door creaked and cracked and finally fell.
The floor before me began to cave in. I turned and began sprinting towards the garage. I had to get out of here.
I checked my bag quickly to see what I had salvaged from the place I spent so many hours of my life in. My jaw began to shake as I saw the only thing that was in there.
The vase.
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TUN TUN TUN TUN!!!
:O yeah, I know. This chapter kind of wrote itself, lol.
Well, the story is coming to an end. :’(
I can’t believe it!!!
Oh, btw, if ya’ll didn’t know, I am up to be a finalist in round two of the Watty Awards… so PLEASE VOTE! :) This was freaking 20 pages on word... Wattpad appears to be making their pages longer? Idk. 3,524 WORDS! ;D
God, I can’t believe this you guys.
If I win, I will make a video of me crying my eyes out. And it will be very entertaining as I am a very ugly cryer D:
Well, anyways, this chapter took a while.
But yeahhhh…
Gr, I have so much schoolwork.
The days go by way too fast…
Yeah, so what did you guys think of this chapter?
I realize my chapters are getting longer…
But that’s good, right?
Anyways. I really have to take a shower. And sleep. Yum :P
Toodles!
-Daniela ^_^