In love.
That's much more powerful than an I love you.
I didn't think he actually felt this deeply about me, he's not the best at expressing his feelings. Honestly sometimes I just feel like what we have is a game to him. The fact that he can have a 17 year old girl wrapped around his finger is a prize.
But now I know, deep down, that isn't the case.
The car ride home is quiet as I start out the window, thinking about what he said.
"You okay baby girl?"
I snap out of my daze and look over at him.
"Yeah, sorry. I just was zoning out."
"Something on your mind?"
"No" I lied, I don't know if I'm in love with Luke. I love home but I'm not madly in love with him.
I can't say anything though, he'll just get upset. I don't want him to be upset.
"Are you sure, you're making that face that you make when you lie."
"Positive." I lie again.
"You know what happens when you lie to daddy."
My heart plummets and flutters all at once.
"Yes, daddy."
"So, are you lying to me?"
I hesitate to answer him, but he takes that as an answer.
We get home and he leads me inside by my wrist. His grip was firm but not ruff.
He quickly carries me upstairs to our bedroom where he sits on the edge of the bed, laying me over his legs.
Shit.
He pulls on my pants until they come down and reveal my bum.
I close my eyes and prepare myself for the worst. His hand harshly comes in contact with my bum, one after another the cracks from his hand get louder and harder.
I clench my jaw and try to hold back any cries.
He finally stops after countless lashes, leaving my whole body numb. A tear finally slips from my eye as he stands me up and pulls my pants back up. The denim irritating my raw bum.
"So are you ready to tell daddy what you were lying about?"
I look at him and my heart breaks.
"I-I don't want to hurt you.." I quietly say.
"What do you mean?"
"You said you are in love with me, and I don't know if I'm in love with you too. I love you but I'm not in love with you. Does that make sense?"
Luke sits there quietly, looking at the floor.
I fall to my knees and wrap my arms around his waist.
"I'm so sorry daddy. I didn't mean to make you sad." he pets my head softly, then he pulls me back up and sits me in his lap. My bum stinging in the process.
"You didn't hurt me baby, I still love you no matter what and you are my little girl. I will wait for your love no matter what."
"Just don't leave me daddy. I need you." he kisses my forehead and holds me until I drift asleep in his arms.
"Never, I wouldn't dare think of doing that."