LEA POV
One minute I'm on the beach sunbathing with Lore and Duke and the next I'm asleep with the nightmares ripping at my soul. I blink my eyes trying to pull myself away. I've heard that if you blink your eyes while your dreaming you can switch dreams but it isn't working. His hands press at me, his lips slide against my skin and I claw at him trying to push him away, praying that my bear will surface.
"Lea." Someone calls my name and I'm not there anymore but somewhere else. "Lea, open your eyes." I recognize the voice. I know who it is but I won't open my eyes so I shake my head again.
"Oh, little bear you can't deny what is." His hand touches my faces and my eyes fly open to meet his. His eyes are calm. Much calmer than I've ever seen them in life but the familiar peek of humor is there. He smiles at me as a tear slides down my cheek, knowing I hate it when he calls me that.
"How are you here? And don't call me that." He shrugs and wipes away the tear before pulling away from me.
"You know how." I shake my head and he laughs softly before crossing his arms over his chest to observe me.
"Always so stubborn little bear. Admit the truth. Tell your mates because you have my gift now and you know what that means. I'd hoped you'd get my ability for healing but it counteracts with your own ability. You got this little bear and your going to have to tell them what else he did because Lex will want you now. He'll do everything in his power to take you." I stare at those calm eyes and shake my head.
"No." He sighs and tilts his head.
"Say my name little bear." I shake my head. He chuckles and leans down to press a kiss to my forehead.
"Always so stubborn."
"Why are you here now?" His eyes saddened as a background starts to form behind him.
"It's time to remember all of it." I shake my head, stumbling back.
"No." His eyes plead with mine.
"You have to little bear. It's not my choice but you'll need this knowledge in the future. His hand reaches out as a sob breaks through.
"NO please don't do this Deke." And then the picture is formed and I remember it all as I'm sucked back into it. I feel Deke's hand in mine, comforting me as I'm forced to relive it. To face the truth then everything is black.
.............
I hear growling and shuffling above me but I don't open my eyes. I feel the sand shift beneath me as someone lifts me into their arms but I don't move nor do I protest as they carry me out of the sun. I hesitate a second and think back to the dream then I snuggle into the warm chest. Arms set me on the bed and I feel two people climb in on either side of me as the bed dips. I don't have to look to know they're hovering over me. I hear a sigh then Duke speaks.
"Lea." A shiver rushes through me and I peak at him through my eyelashes. He grins and I glance over to see Lore looking down at me as well.
"I knew you wern'te asleep. What were you dreaming about?" I shrug and shake my head burying it deep in a pillow. I won't tell them not yet. I need this time with them first before I drag the drama back to us. I lift my head back up and they say something as a figure appears at the end of the bed. At first it's like he's out of focus like your fixing the zoom on a camera then BAM! he's visisble. I jerk in surprise and a gasp forms.
"Deke." Lore frowns and Duke rubs my cheek with his.
"That's what you were dreaming about, love." I stare at him lost for a second before nodding sharply.
"Yes about... yeah. Can we not talk about it? Just for now. I...I need to process and I want us to enjoy our honeymoon." Lore chuckles as Duke's hands slide under the top of my bikini. His fingers tug at my nipple as I glance at the bottom of the bed. Deke mouths the word 'later' then he's gone. Thank god. Then they're each kissing down my thighs as they grab my legs and open me up. I feel by bikini half tear as Duke starts to lick while Lore rubs his thumb over my cl!t. My hips buck and I can feel my climax but I push it back, punishing myself for things that had been beyond my control, as I clench my eyes shut. Vagualy I realize both men have stopped and I open my eyes to see them staring at me. Duke's face is raw with emotion as he reahes up and brushes a tear off my cheek. He adruptly pulls back and slides off the bed.
"No, you don't do that Lea. Not unless..." He trails off, his eyes searching mine, he must have seen something because he abruptly turns and stalks out the door. Lore sighs and scoots off the bed as he speaks.
"I don't know what just happened love cause your shields are up but I do know you just hurt him and made him feel ashamed. Straighten your shit out, go for a walk, something, I'll go check on him. Then he walks out the door leaving me alone and ashamed. And just a little frightened.
DUKE POV
I storm out of the room and walk out back to the sundeck. Slamming my fists onto the rail I snarl as I fight back my leopard. Dammit. Damn him. Damn her. I lower my head just as I feel a hand on my back right before Lore appears to my right. He meets my eyes smiles softly then leans against the rail with his arms crossed and waits. The sun finishes setting before I speak.
"There were two ways Lea fought back when he raped her." I see Lore tense as he continues to watch the sun sink into the horizon. "She always fought him because it was the only time he wouldn't hit her back. And she never climaxed. She's hold it back even though he'd go for hours trying to force it but she refused to find pleasure in such a horrible act." My voice breaks and I pause as Lore wraps his arms around me and I let him. "She stopped her climax in there. She's been off since she woke up and she'd only hold back if....if she was punishing herself. Because she doesn't trust in us." Lore rubs his hands up and down my arms before out of our hug to look up at me.
"Or she doesn't trust herself." I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. Then I lean down and peck him softly on the lips.
"Or that. So what can we do about it?" Lore runs a hand through his hair as he frowns.
"I think I know but...I didn't want to do it. It looks like we'll have to though. Let's giver her a little bit then we'll talk to her. I nod and lean on the rail. Lore does the same.
LEA POV
After getting dressed I decide to search for Gaela maybe I can do something right today. I find her on the beach by herself. I sit in the sand beside her as she glances over at me. Her fingers shift randomly through the sand as her hair falls into her face. My fingers curl into my palm and I'm speaking before I think about it.
"They're angry with me." Her head jerks up and I see her frightened eyes. I shake my head. "Not like that...more hurt." I pause and glance at her to see she's watching me, curiously.
"I held back when....I got off." I feel my face flush and I rub a hand over my cheek trying to make it fade. "I was raped and tortured by the old Alpha. I always held back getting off and I did that today. It upset Duke and in turn upset Lore." A tear slides down my cheek and I quickly brush it away with the heel of my hand.
"Why?" I shrug and blink away the burn behind my eyes before looking over at her. I can feel the sorrow in my face.
"Because....because he made me do something....and I have to tell them. I have to tell them and it hurts." A sob escapes but I just as quickly force it back. I was her Alpha and my break down would have to be saved for my mates, if they would talk to me. I straighten and take a deep breath before laying down in the sand and allowing it's warmth to soothe me. "Gaela, there's a reason Coner sent you with me." She continues to look over at me for a moment before laying down beside me.
"He wants me to leave doesn't he?" I sigh, watching as the stars start to come out.
"If your going to reject him, yes." A cry escapes her and she goes to jerk upright but I grasp her arm and pull her back. She stiffens as she turns to look at me. I watch a tear slide down her cheek as I speak. "You need to hear it all first. Once you do you'll understand and those tears your shedding won't be for you anymore but for your mate." She blinks in surprise but doesn't interrupt.
"Sometime ago Coner went sightseeing in the human world bored with life and the loneliness of it. He was wandering through a small town when his father called and asked him if he would go the leopard queen since he was close to her realm. It seems she needed help with training some newly turned leopards because their enforcer had recently lost his mate due to an accident. He agreed and went to meet the queen and found out she was his mate."
Gaela gasped but I ignored it as I continued.
"But she was the leopard queen and he was a wolf. She didn't think her clan could accept him as a king so she didn't mate with him but kept him as her consort and had two children with him. Sometime later a man came along, his oldest daughter's mate. Somehow the queen ended up dead and the older sister took in as reigning queen until her sister got older. She couldn't shift because she had lost her first child therefor she couln't be queen but her mate made sure that the first act was to exile Coner. So he left, found other Supes like him and made his own little pack. Somewhere along the way he became an Alpha but..."
I sit up and look at Gaela.
"He made me repeat this several times and I will never forget the acceptance and despair on his face while he said it. He said tell my Gaela, my beautiful butterfly, that I love her and I understand why she doesn't want this but I can't take another mate rejecting me. The queen may have been my mate but I think you could be my soul and I can't take you rejecting me if your stay here. So go be happy and teach your beautiful cubs how bright this world can be. He said he'll provide you with...." A snarl of pure rage left her mouth as she leaped to her feet, throwing sand everywhere. I raise a brow as I watch her in surprise.
"No. Mine." I smile at that and stand as she starts to stalk down the beach.
"Gaela." She stops and whirls to face me. Her face his filled with fury but she still dips her head in submission. I am her Alpha after all. "I'll take care of the kids while you give him hell if you tell me where they are and I can get you transport off in a snap." She stalks back over to me in barely contained fury.
"Your on your honeymoon so no watching my babes. You couldn't pry them from Gremlin anyway. He is seriously infatuated but I'll take the transport." I smile innocently before speaking.
"Leslie, your son's mate needs a lift so she can beat some sense into him." The wind kicks up just as Leslie appears before us. Gaela gasps and falls to her knees. I bite back a laugh but make sure to only look at her from the corner of my eye. She laughs and I feel her turning down her brightness as she speaks.
"Get up daughter." Gaela blinks and stands, her eyes wide with awe. I can't help but giggle. I quickly cover my mouth but Leslie sends me an amused look. "I am the wolf goddess, and Coner's mother but that's a secret."
"Goddess..." Leslie waves a hand.
"Leslie please atleast while we're alone. Now let me take you to my stubborn son. He has been sad for so long and I want to see my granchildren at some point." She wraps her arm around Gaela and then their gone. Now I just have to face my mates.
..............
I see my mates sitting on the deck waiting for me. They see me coming and both of them stand up. I tilt my head to the side as both of them shift. Lore's silver bear is as big as mine as he lumbers over to me. I blink at those luminous gray eyes as Duke's black leopard nips my side. Then Duke speaks through my mind.
"Follow us." Unsure of what's going on I follow them into a wooded area. It's dark but my nose follows their scent. I can smell how hurt they are about earlier and it's killing me. They stop by a stream as both of them turn to face me. There eyes are glowing as Lore speaks.
"Kneel mate." My jaw drops and my breath comes in gasp as I shake my head. No way would they do this to me. I take a step back but Duke's already there and his teeth nip at my a$$. I growl and pop him on the nose. His chest rumbles and he nips my fingers as I yelp. "Lea, kneel." Pissed I snarl at him.
"You don't have to do this there's no..." Just then Duke butts his head into back causing me to stumble and fall forward. I could fight this but I don't. I just drop my head and wait. I feel Duke's tongue slide over my neck. It's rougher in leopard form. I start to move but he snaps at me and I freeze as his teeth sink into my neck. My body spasms as Lore speaks.
"Submit Lea." I whimper.
"Don't..."
"NOW!" I lower my head and Duke bites a little deeper before releasing me and running his tongue over the wound.
"Shift." I bite my lip as my bear pulls to the surface. I roar at Lore before lumboring to my feet. I raise to two legs and growl at him and he does the same. His roar is louder than mine and it causes me to pause as he speaks through the bond.
"SUBMIT MATE!" I growl and he swipes at me with a paw. I go to smack back but it's half heartily because I don't want to hurt him. He snarls and before I can blink I'm pinned beneath him and his teeth are clamped onto my shoulder. I buck trying to throw him off but he just bites deeper. I lower my head and he releases me and I shift back. I curl into a ball my hall body trembling as I feel arms wrap around me. I try to pull away but they hold me tighter as tears track down my face. I feel blood trickling down my throat from their bites as I sob quietly before curling closer to their warmth.
"Why did you do that? You made me submit to you." Hands brush away tears as Lore speaks.
"You need to know that we submit to you but you also need to know that you submit to us. You always hold a part of you back because your afraid and we want it all. We gave you all of us so you can do the same." Duke's lips are close to my ear as he speaks.
"Tell us mate." I blink back tears as Deke appears in front of us. I reach out and grasp his hand. Immediately they can see him. They both tense in surprise, waiting.
"I didn't remember til Deke came to me last night but I've met Lex before and Jarek. Lucius didn't randomly find me. They suppressed my bear so I would come to them. Duke never saw them because Lucius only did that for the fun of it. The experiments on me were always with them and me."
"Why you?" Tears slide down my cheek and Deke squeezes my hand reassuringly.
"Because I can give them what they want. Because....I didn't want to....they made me....he was hurting her....he said she'd suffer until I ended it. All I had to do was...." I start sobbing uncontrollably as I struggle to speak. "Deke....don't make me say it....please....." Deke shakes his head as he speaks.
"I;m just a ghost little bear. A memory only you can say this and make it right. They have to know." I jerk upright and realize I'm in Duke's lap with Lore's wrapped around me from behind. I run my free hand over Duke's chest, touching him as I keep my other hand in Deke's so they can see him. I force myself to look him in the eyes. Knowing I have to say this to his face.
"Anyone I'm close to. Anyone I know on a personal level. If they die then I get one of their abilities. Like Deke's ability to see ghosts. Once Lex finds out about that he won't stop til he has me. Because of her. I was close to her on a personal level. They tortured us together. And then they killed her so they could see if I could get her ability because she wasn't strong enough to give them what they wanted and I was. They want a high alpha and if I've got Deke's abilities then I can give them that. But the girl. That girl with bright red hair and sorrowful eyes. She begged me Duke. I had to. She was suffering. Her mind was lost and her body broken. I did what she asked. Duke I swear I did. She...She was Willa's daughter. I called her Star. Told her she was a bright star in a lonly night before I stabbed a knife through her heart and she thanked me before she died. That beautiful child died and she thanked me." I wait my eyes on Duke as I wait for his to grasp what I've said. His eyes flicker as he looks down at me, lost and I wat for the slap of his rejection to hit me. Instead he pulls me close and buries his face in my hair.
"Thank you for saving her."
"What? But I...." Lore's hand touch my shoulder as he leans in on the other side.
"Love, he knows what Lucius did to you. He knows you wouldn't have done it if you thought you could save her." Then he's pressing closer as I collapse into Duke's arms, releasing Deke's hand as I wail in sorrow. These are my mates. My mates. God help anyone that tried to take them from me.