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*BEEEEEEEEP*
"Hey Sally, it's ... Richard. I guess you're busy, or your phone's on silent, or it's in your pocket or something. You're probably not even home. I don't know why I thought you would be, it's the weekend, you're probably out ... having fun.
"...I don't why I said it like that. Sorry.
"I would have just sent you a text message but, I don't know, they always seem so impersonal. That sounds stupid, right? It probably just means I'm getting old.
"I'm not that old!
"...This is not going the way I thought it would...
"You're probably going to think I'm an idiot for not doing this in person.
"Maybe I am an idiot.
"...An idiot whose second guessing himself to an answering machine. You know, all things considered, I'm kind of glad you didn't pick up.
"I probably would have just lied to you about needing help putting together the Hancock report. You know I've been putting off finishing that for a week now, just so I'd have that excuse?
"Crazy, right?
"Yea...crazy.
"I've wasted enough of your time – assuming you ever listen to this – do people even listen to voice mail anymore? Anyway, I just wanted to say that...
"God...
"I like you Sally, I like you a lot. I have since that time we hung out after that stupid office Baseball mixer.
"You were...
"What I'm trying to say is that...
"When I said that I'd never met anyone who liked Roky Erickson, Warren Ellis, and Bruno Mattei; when I said you were the only person in the office who could have an intelligent conversation about whether AD&D 3.5 or 5.0 was superior – I wasn't lying.
"You're kind and smart and a giant dork just like me...
"You're amazing Sally and...I don't know, I just wanted you to know that. No, I'm lying again. What I wanted to know is whether or not you'd be interested in getting to know me better.
"If you're not, that's OK too, you should still know that you're amazing. If you are though...give me a call back."
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