“I want more sex! Why aren’t you clueing in?”
“We have it at least two to three-”
“It’s not enough I need more, I want more adventurous and I want you to stop thinking so much about Sonas, Sonas, Sonas.”
“Hum, honey-”
“Why don’t you think of your sons and wife more than her?” She asked him. “Why don’t you focus more on me? The children on grown. Your parents wish for grandchildren are fulfilled-”
She kept excluding Sonas for some reason. Obviously Sonas was not all grown, neither were sons, they were starting their twenties and he wanted them to have the kind of fun he was never able to have in those years. Careful fun.
Now Cosanta Murphy was a very devoted family man, he did all the housework, took care of the children, all of them since they had them and his doted on his wife, his children. She was a working woman, all her responsbility was her full-time job, he took care of the house, the children, his aging parents, his crazy brother’s antics and met the needs of his wife most of the time. This conversation and morning dinner bothered him. He usually peaceful, giving and not overly emotional. He was not an expressive man. He expressed his love in the hard work he did for his family. He did all the things an traditional mother was supposed to do. Sometimes the stress almost made him faint, he also had the task of keeping his daughter trained in self-defense so she would not get raped. He was possibly sexiest in his opinion that women were in more danger than men most of the time, targets of rape and what not. The world was cruel.
“What exactly are you trying to get at love?” Cosanta said to Slonn. His tone restrained.
“Don’t use that tone with me! You know exactly what I am trying to get at! I am not the most important person in your life like I am supposed to be! I want more sex, more romantic between the two of us and your attention to bem ore on me than Sonas.”
“You’re- Are you jealous of the attention I give my daughter? It is just to- she needs to protected. She is not- well I am not sure the word.”
“She’s crazy and stupid. She needs to be locked up into a mental inst-”
“People say a lot of things when they are angry that they do not mean. What is the cause of this anger?”
“I am not angry! I am stressed!”
“Stressed? Why? I take all of the duties off you that women are traditionally expected of except I suppose the-”
“It seems like I am the dominate one in the relationship here but I am still not the one most focused on.”
“I don’t understand where this coming from. Every morning for the last twenty years I have made dinner for you, we’ve had-”
“Right when we got married I was pressured to have children, I have them and then your focus on everything-”
“Yes but I try to take all the pressures away from you.”
“That’s great and all but I want more. I want more attention and sex!”
“I- ‘That’s great and all?’ I mean- I do a lot. I drive you to and from work, I make you lunches, I make sure you don’t have to take of the children, my parents, stave off my brother’s drunken behaviour, sometimes I have knock him out, I do housework and-”
“It’s not enough I want more!”
“Jesus Christ Slonn, love, I give you all that I am.” Cosanta said to his wife. His voice was earnest, softly, but she did not seem to clue in. They lost their virginity together, were childhood sweethearts, had a easy life or at least she did. His children, his parents, his wife all had it easy because of everything he sacrificed for them. He completely focused on everyone else except himself.
“It’s not enough. Maybe that’s why I slept with brother. He pays attention to my every fantasy and you are kept busy with all that you do and you do not pay enough attention to me. I will end this relationship with-”
“What?”
“I am sorry for yelling at you. I had with sex with your brother.”
“Are you joking Slonn?”
“Why is there a flare of anger in your eyes? I needed more attention. You pay more attention to-”
“-to all that you don’t have to do?”
“We could hire a staff for that.”
“You say that now, even after your insane frugality. You like being waited on by me.”
“Yes but the point is you don’t give enough-”
“You- you had sex with Fiáin?”
“He’s much more wild in bed than you.”
“What brougt this on? You’ve- you’re kidding? I-”
“I still love you love, but I need more attention. I heard once that if you tell a man you slept with his brother, actually do it then they will give you more-”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What?”
“ Nothing- Nothing at all. I am absolutely fine.”
“Good does this mean you’ll give me more attention now? You know I love, love, but with all this doctor work for the last ten years- I need more sex to stave off the stress. I know all I have to do is my full-time job but-”
Cosanta did a few things he had never done before. He left the dishes on the table did not wash them, he did not drive his wife to work and did not give her the lunch he made her last night. He got up, gave his wife the deepest glare he had ever given his gently blunt and controlling wife. It made her a craven under his eyes, his eyes softened when he realized his long angry stare frightened her and to be honest in the first time in his life he was tempted to punch in the skull and beat her.
That temptation was the first he ever felt it, it scarred him, he left the house and slammed the door. He ran for at least a hour. When he came back she went to work. There was a letter left on the dinning room table, a letter of complaint about his odd behaviour and the creepy look his eye.
He cleaned the dishes, went up the elevator, cleaned the game floor -the second floor- and then also went to wake up Sonas for her first day of school. He thought all this cleaning would calm his nerves, slighly perhaps, but the irritation that settled in his skin was still there. He looked around his daguther’s room after he shook her shoulder. It had uneventful walls, the only thing in the room was her bed and his daughter did not stir. He shook her shoulder again and for a horrifying moment he was tempted, he imagined her pulled her hair to her wake her. He did not like that image, it was freaky. He did spar with his daughter, to train her to keep her safe but otherwise he never abused her. Ten minutes passed and he became cross.
“Why aren’t you getting up?” He asked her.
“Is breá liom tú.” Sonas perhaps said this to him. Her tone was odd. He shook her awake from behind. The bed was small. She looked up at him and her cheeks reddened. “Huh? What? Oh- I thought- oh you’re you. Which is perfectly fine. My dreams were perfectly normal and competely non, they were not unholy and- yes.”
“Sonas?” Coasanta asked her. “What-?”
“I- I was- hum.” She said to him. “I had- What was it? What did I say? Nothing- nothing about a nameless someone right?”
He sat next to his daughter. She was in her nightgown, they both sat on the side of the bed together and she distracted him from his problems. Sudden problems they were, as he led a pretty, though at times stressful, his family life despite sometimes squables with his family, nothing ever made him this angry as it did with his wife and he could easily not think about that around his daughter.
“What are you on about princess?” He asked her.
“Nothing- nothing at all! In fact I- What did I mumble?”
“Something about love.”
“Oh- that was- I love you yes.”
“Why are you so awkward about it? Its alright to love a family member.”
“I- I didn’t- yes I know that. I wasn’t focusing on- of course I- I should get ready for school yes. Think happy thoughts Sonas.”
“Oh I see, did you have nightmare about your first day of ever attending a school?”
“To be perfectly honest no.”
“Alright you don’t have to talk about it, whatever it is, I am sure you’re very innocent mind did not come with anything horrid like you seem to think.”
“Right hum. I would prefered to dream about- well I liked my dream, but to fly- Dad hum- It’s sweet of you to wake me, but could you not? Or just knock a long time and that should wake me definitely.”
“What’s wrong with me waking you princess?”
“Oh nothing because you can wake me by pounding on the other side of the door.”
“Alright...”
“It’s not that I don’t like your company- you saw me naked as a little baby and I am not now just- I mumbled something to you and what if I was mumble something horrible that you wouldn’t like and-?”
“You’re not the craven type.”
“Daddy what does that word mean?”
“It’s a word that- nevermind. You seem uncharistically stressed. I am sorry for waking you so tersely.”
“You woke me in a certain matter? What does tersely mean?”
“Right. You have a shower and I’ll make some food. Would you like to buy lunch or would you like to eat something I make? Would you like sandwich or what? What would you like?”
“Oh it’s alright daddy. You don’t need too. I mean don’t they have food there to feed the students? I wonder what school is like.”
“Well you have pay for lunch for there. Are you not looking forward to it?”
“Well I would prefer you teach me, why do I need so many tutors? You teach me everything.”
“Princess-” He ceased to speak because of politeness.
He thought he could state some of the reasons why he wanted her to do school. Some of them were for her, he did not mind his children living in the mansion for the rest of their lives but- he wanted her to experience- he sort of- He wanted her to have socialization. To be honest he wanted a little time to himself during the day to focus on himself, especially with the new relavation his wife informed him of. He did not want to say abusive things to his daughter and to speak of his present selfishness.