Breathe.
Just effing breathe.
My back was burning from all the not-subtle stares.
I was in Morrisons. As I had completely forgotten about Hugh, he'd been giving me pestering activities for making it up to him. That has been happening for the last two days. Telling him that I was truly sorry pouting at him for several times had been completely unsuccessful.
The fact that I was on the cover of several magazines and newspapers hadn't helped my cause at all.
I rolled my eyes as I grabbed randomly different items from the counters. My feet were carrying me all over the supermarket without really knowing where I was going to or what did I needed in the first place. Hugh was being completely immature about it and from all the stupid little things I had to do, this was by far the worst one.
Why?
I haven't left the house much since Sunday. At least five photographers have been waiting for any sign of me on the other side of the sidewalk. Scott and I made the front covers of Hello! And Ok among other magazzines.
How I hated to be the center of attention. Sonya would have been delighted, I thought sourly.
Great.
Now I'm bringing my slutty former best friend to the whole mess.
Without really noticing, I was now standing in line in one of the less crowded cashiers. I looked at my cart and my eyes widened at the sight of it. It was brimming with all kinds of stuff.
When had I grabbed a large package of minced beef and onion pies from the freezer department?
"Did you found everything you were looking for?"
"Yeah." Even more...
What on earth did Hugh want in the first place? He was making some kind of pasta...
"Excuse me?" A large hand touched my shoulder lightly.
The blond cashier gave me a small smile. She looked around thirty. She had a white shirt on and the brand's signature green apron .The beeping sounds of the checker were playing on the background as I turned around.
There were three guys behind me. The one who had called for my attention looked around twenty-eight and had a black t-shirt on with a daftpunk logo and denim jeans. He had reddish spiky hair. His eyes were green and had freckles on his nose.
The way he was looking at me made me uncomfortable. I felt like a piece of meat as his eyes travelled from my feet to my face and a smirk played on his face.
It wasn't as if I was wearing something nice, either.
I had grabbed a faded jeans and a large electric blue jacket on top and wasn't even wearing makeup. The other two guys were looking at me in the same way and had their arms crossed in front of their chests. They were brunettes but shared the same hairstyling as well as the combination of clothes.
"Yes?" I asked awkwardly as I looked to the sides to see if they were truly trying to talk to me.
"We were wondering, my mates and I, how much would you charge for the three of us?" He asked with a heavy irish accent and a devilish smirk.
His question caught me off guard. I blinked at him for a moment before I stuttered, "w-what? I don't understand what you're talking about..."
"Oh. You understand perfectly" he raised an eyebrow.
My heart was beating a mile a minute. Trying to sound completely unaffected, I said "You got the wrong person."
Fuck off, pal.
I turned away as the cashier passed the last items on the checker.
"I think not."
I ignored him as I took a deep breath and watched the endless items being passed.
"Isn't this you?" He passed an arm above my shoulder and showed me one picture of Scott and me holding hands about to climb in the London Eye in The Sun. As soon as his arm brushed my shoulder, I could feel goose bumps on my arms.
"Back off" I said through clenched teeth as I took one step in front to get away from him.
Throughout the whole grocery shopping, I could feel the way people stared at me. Yet not one of them had approached me. Some of the older people would give me the meanest eyes and quite a few girls had smirked at me. Most of them had glared at me with jealousy and I could tell that they were wondering in their mind how Scott could consider spending time with me.
But no one had the guts to actually talk to me.
"Why? Because we're not royals? We have money, dear..." He stepped in front of me and tried to grab me by the waist as I spun away from him.
"She told you to back off." My eyes made contact with Sean's angry ones as he took a step closer to me and put himself between the creepy guys and me.
The beeping sounds were now over and I looked to see that the cashier's brown eyes had widened and she was looking at the whole thing in silence.
Actually, the whole supermarket had been too quiet.
My eyes roamed all over the next cashiers and they were all looking at us. Well, to be honest, everyone in the same radius was looking curiously at us.
The guy laughed and a small shiver ran down my spine. "What? Did our taxes also pay for your bodyguard?"
A large bump formed on my throat and I closed my eyes for a moment trying to even my erratic breathing.
"How much is it?" Sean's cold voice was directed to the lady beside me.
"£131."
What?! I only had to buy some organic chicken broth. Which evidently I don't think I had found since I just remembered about it. But I wasn't going back inside to get it. I wanted to get the hell away from there.
I pulled out my credit card and gave it to the girl. She smiled apologetically at me as she passed it through the magnetic bar and charged the things.
Sean placed his hand protectively on my back as he continued to glare at the guys behind me. They stayed in silence but they were all smirking at me.
I signed the receipt and as I grabbed two of the six useless bags that I had just bought, they guy jeer to his friends, "she's not that pretty...must be good in bed, though..."
My hands clenched and I could feel the nails digging painfully in my skin. My cheeks burned embarrassedly and I turned to look at Sean who had dropped the bags and had his fists ready to smash the guy up.
"Sean, NO." My eyes searched his as he turned to look at me while the three asses sneered.
Sean looked absolutely furious. His grey eyes were darker and his cheeks were flushed. He was panting hard but the moment his eyes locked with my brimming with tears eyes, his look softened. He swallowed hard and grabbed the bags from the floor.
"Let's go."
The cold air seeped through my sleeves as the glass doors opened and we stepped through to get to the parking lot. I had walked here, since it was relatively close to home. A fifteen minute walk. Although it had felt like half an hour, even thought I had pretty much ran and had walked inside after almost ten minutes. Yes, still a bad runner.
Sean's black land rover was parked almost in front of the supermarket. He grabbed my transparent bags filled with nonsense and put them in the back. I climbed inside the truck and for the first time in what felt like hours, took a deep breath.
He closed the door with a little more force than usual. He was still pretty pissed.
"Are you ok?" His eyes searched all over my face to see if I had any scratch or something like that, as if I had just came out of battle.
Well, it did feel like that.
I opened my mouth to answer to him when he slammed one fist against the steering wheel making me jump in my seat. My pulse raced as he asked without looking at me, "what the bloody hell where you thinking going out alone?!"
My mind went blank for a moment before a hundred thoughts burst inside.
Is this my fault?!
I didn't freaking do anything!!
Stupid stupid Mark!!
"Next time I'll send a memo." My voice was cold and I swear I was about to burst into flames. I was that angry. Sean didn't seem to notice since he was in a bad mood himself. He grunted and started the car.
We arrived in no time. Morrison was three blocks away. As soon as the car stopped, I stepped off and closed the door forcefully. Sean stepped out slowly and he glared at me for a moment. As if he just realized that I was angry too, his grey eyes widened for a moment before softening.
He opened his mouth while grabbing the last plastic bags from the back of the car but I gestured him to stop with the palm of my hand, "thank you." I tried not to sound harsh yet you could still hear how upset I really was.
It was very cold. Snow was supposed to come any moment now. We were in the last days of November and a neighbor had already started to put on some Christmas lights on the front windows of his house. He turned around as we climbed the stairs and the paparazzi stepped out of their motorcycles and ran towards us.
"Argh" I groaned and cursed in silence as I opened the front door of the house.
"It took you long enough" Hugh was standing on the hall, as fashion as always, with his brown hair messed up in just the right places, wearing dark skinny jeans and a grey sweater. He also had a yellow minion apron and a large wooden spoon on his right hand.
If I hadn't been upset, I would have probably laughed at him. In this case, I glared at him and dropped the heavy plastic bag on the floor.
"Next time you go make your errands. I'm tired of doing stupid little things for you just because I forgot to pick you up at the airport." I passed beside him and as I climbed the stairs to go to my room, I turned and still glaring at him I snapped "I'M SORRY, OK? That should have been enough for you in the first place!"
Hugh was looking at me with a dumbfound expression on his face. My eyes were teary and my voice cracked as I tried to hold back the tears. I didn't thank Sean or anything. I literally ran to my room and locked the door as soon as I stepped in. Sliding on the door, I left myself fall to the floor as the contained tears leaked one by one.
To their eyes, I'm just a slut trying to get some publicity.
Damn it.
I was so angry and frustrated. I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand and climbed on my bed. Grabbing the nearest pillow, I screamed into it.
My throat hurt when I opened my eyes. The room was dark and my eyes hurt from crying. I must have dozed off. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my palm as the light from my cell phone blinked. It was in silence and I stared at it for a moment before the blinking stopped. In no time, the screen light started to blink again. My eyes were adjusted to the darkness by now and I laid my head back in my pillow as I decided to ignore the phone again.
Someone knocked on my door and I realized that I had napped again. I was so tired. I felt drained and completely and utterly frustrated with everything and everyone.
How dare people judge me like that?
How could they do that? How could they read something and take a side?
This is someone's life we were talking about!!
I remembered that old movie, 'Ed TV' and how things had changed for the producers once they were in the spotlight...couldn't people see that?
"Emily?!" My heart flipped as I heard Scott's distinctive dark voice calling my name on the other side of the door. There was a notable urgency on the tone of his voice.
"I'm coming!" I jumped out of bed and frowned when I realized that I didn't have a mirror in my room. Searching through my bag, I came across the smallest of mirrors and I cursed my lack of vanity.
I looked like crap.
There was no other way to describe it. My hair was messy and all over the place. My eyes were puffy and my nose was slightly pink. I had bed sheet marks on my right cheek. I brushed my hair and pulled it up in a high ponytail and I cleaned my face with a cleansing towel that I had miraculously forgotten to put back in the bathroom.
Straightening my white t-shirt, I opened the door. Scott was leaning on the bathroom's door in front of my room. He was wearing a dark brown suit and a white shirt underneath. He had crossed his arms on his chest but as soon as he saw me a large smile formed on his lips. It didn't reach his eyes, though. His brown eyes watched me concerned. The fact that I looked like crap didn't help it all.
"Are you ok?" He leaned to see my eyes closer and his right hand cupped my cheek.
Leaning on his touch, I closed my eyes as he wrapped his left arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He was warm and smelled like exotic spices. I enjoyed the warm feeling that spread inside of me as he hugged me tighter.
We stayed like that for a moment. Slowly, I opened my eyes and found him staring at me in his distinctive intense way. He brushed his lips on mine really carefully, as if I was a porcelain doll that could break at any moment. I pressed myself closer to him and kissed him deeply. My hands found their way to his hair that was shorter than a few days before. I heard him make a noise on the back of his throat as my back pressed against the wall. Scott's calloused hands lifted the hem of my t-shirt and he caressed my exposed skin. All the anger and frustration that I had felt moments ago transformed in passion as we kissed. When we couldn't breathe anymore, we slowed the kiss and pulled apart leaning on each other's forehead.
We were still fighting to get some breath as Scott, with his eyes still closed, whispered "I'm sorry."
I cupped his chin and caressed the small dimple that formed on his chin, "it's ok..."
"No it's not." His dark eyes bored into mine and I smiled at him.
I shook my head as he pulled off me and grabbed my hand. I didn't know what to say. It was obviously not ok for me, but I wanted to reassure him in some way. It wasn't his fault...
He led the way to the stairs as I stopped him. "It isn't your fault."
A bitter smile played on his lips as he ran a hand through his hair, "the hell it isn't."
"It's not." I said sternly.
"It comes with the fact of being with me" He was grim.
"I've always known that." I sighed, "I mean, yeah, I didn't know that it was hard to deal with, but I've always known that you come with a large package..."
Scott snorted. After a moment his eyes lightened up and he smirked, "I like the package innuendo..."
I rolled my eyes and slapped him on the shoulder as he chuckled.
As we stepped downstairs, you could hear a lot of noise coming from the kitchen. I grimaced at how rude I had been with Hugh and probably with Sean, too. Scott stopped before pushing the kitchen's door and he kissed me lightly one more time.
The kitchen was packed. Hugh was leaning on the counter still wearing the minion apron, making him look funny, but he didn't care at all. His eyes lightened up when we crossed the door. My mom was seated by the kitchen table along with Sean, Kate and surprisingly, Scott, Hugh's cousin.
It had been a while since I last saw him and I blushed at the fact that I had been waiting for Scott to call. My Scott. I liked the sound of that.
I eyed my boyfriend as he pulled a chair for me and plumped in the seat next to me after taking off his jacket and placing it on his chair.
They all stood in silence for a moment watching me concerned.
"I'm ok" I raised my hands and rolled my eyes, "stop looking at me like that."
Scott's hand intertwined with mine as he asked Hugh, "What's that smell? I'm starving."
Hugh looked smugly at Scott's question. I was glad he had changed the subject as now my mom and Kate busied themselves by setting the table for all.
"I made my famous lasagna" Hugh answered, "I had to improvise since Missy" he signaled me with the wooden spoon he grabbed from the counter "brought the whole supermarket with her but not the ingredients I needed for minestrone."
"I'm sorry" I grimaced once again. "And I'm sorry for snapping at you" Hugh smiled at me and made a dismissive gesture with the palm of his hand. "And you" I said apologetically to Sean, who had stayed quiet on his chair.
He shrugged, "I'm sorry for snapping at you too, Em."
Scott's hold tightened. I turned to look at him but he was talking with Hugh's cousin, who didn't seem to treat him differently or be impressed to be talking to Scott. I did noticed that Kate kept discreetly looking at him as she set the plate in front of him. She blushed when he thanked her and his eyes stayed on her as she busied herself once more.
"Isn't this confusing?" Hugh asked us as he finally took a seat in front of us with a steamy lasagna on his plate.
"What?" Mom asked as she blew over her already full fork.
"Them" he gestured between Scott and his cousin. "There are two Scott's on the table."
I chuckled, "well other than the fact that if you ask something to any of them and they'll both turn, it's not confusing at all."
Hugh beamed at me and raised his glass, "well we all know to whom you'll refer to."
Everyone laughed at that as I rolled my eyes at him.
A few moments later, I looked around and smiled. Mom was engaged in talk with Sean, Hugh was wriggling his eyebrows making me laugh, Kate and Scott were shyly talking amongst themselves and my Scott was shoving a large spoonful into his mouth.
This is what home feels like.
It had been so long since I had a large party for dinner like this. It didn't really matter how large it was, it was just that feeling you have when you are happily surrounded by the people you love. For a moment, I remembered those dinner's back at LA, where I'd sit between my father and Anya and they would talk about shallowest things. I'd usually stayed quiet and listened to them all, even Sonya would be a part of the conversation while she ate her large plate of salad.
Why am I even thinking about HER?
Argh... Oh... I hope she chokes on the arugula...
"I'm honored that you are fond to my cooking. At least you enjoy it" trailed Hugh slyly as Scott paused for a moment to take a sip of the red wine Sean had served.
Looking down on my plate I realized that I had played around with my food as everyone else had finished it. I smiled apologetically at Hugh and dug in. While I finished my plate everyone engaged in pleasant conversation. All avoiding the last four hours.
After dessert, a large plate of butter cookies (Mom's courtesy's), Scott and I offered to wash the dishes. Everybody else sat on the livin room watching a movie. I didn't pay attention to which...
"Are you really ok Em?" Scott asked me as he dried the plate on his hand.
I stayed in silence for a moment. Sighing, I rinsed the fork on my hand and turned to him. "Honestly? I'm not ok. I hate to be the center of attention. I'm frustrated that I can't do much about it and that people judge me without really knowing me."
Scott's lips where straight and his dark chocolate eyes were watching me intensely. I swallowed. Scratching the back of my neck I said apologetically, "Sorry...I just...I just need to be honest with you..."
"I know." He took a step closer, "and I appreciate it." After a moment he continued, "That's one of the things that I like about you, your honesty." His hand searched mine and he grabbed me softly. "I wish I could do anything about it." He ran the other hand through his short bangles, "I think that we should make an interview or something."
I snorted, "Do you honestly think that it would end everything?"
"I think it would put you in the spotlight even more. But people would know that you are not what they think..."
Frowning, I passed my arms around him, "I don't think it would help much, to be honest."
"Well...then we'll go to any public event. Even the ones I always try to avoid-"I raised an eyebrow at that while pulling away from him, "they're boring." He exolained.
"Nothing would ever be boring with you" I pecked him on the lips.
Scott laughed heartedly. "We'll just have to watch for mirrors...or walls...or-"
I effectively shut him up by pressing my lips into his smirk.
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I feel like bleeh...I'm not sure about this chapter...
UGH...