"Aline!" Daniel nearly shouts into the phone. I hear concern and a bit of anger in his voice. "Why didn't you call me, I thought I did something wrong."
Oops, looks like I didn't call him after he interrupted my kiss with Martin. I guess, I just got too carried away with Martin. Well, there are some good excuses for not calling him and I am surely taking on the opportunity to state them.
"A lot has happened, Daniel," I reply, saying his name louder than everything else in the sentence.
"Why don't you tell me?" he asks, his voice full of disappointment.
I think about telling him, he's my best friend after all. I have to tell, but he probably won't take it seriously. As well as that, I shouldn't trust him that easy, even though we have known each other for years and years.
But, I trust Martin. Martin knows everything and we have not even been together for one month. Isn't this a bit crazy? Martin knows every single thing happening inside me right now. And the best part is - he's trying to help me, get rid of my problems.
"It's too much to tell," I reply, secretly hoping to get away from the topic. "If you wanna hear it, better come to New York."
"Cheeky," he says and I can imagine a smile appearing on his face. "Oh, by the way I am coming for holidays, this will be in a week."
"Really?" I ask.
"Yep. You're lucky, you have holiday every single day."
"That's why I'm taking a year off. Gotta get all of my stuff together."
"Wanna Skype?"
"Sure."
"Be there in one minute."
The call ends and I look around the room, trying to gather all of my thoughts in one place. The only source of light is a small lamp next to my bed and fairy lights, so I switch on the main lightning. Cringing at the bright, a bit unusual light, I run my fingers through my hair, untangling the knots.
I am wearing a plain black t-shirt and pyjama bottoms, making me look like I am going to go to bed, although it's only about eight in the evening. I can hear my parents talking about something loudly downstairs and plates clicking against forks. Finally, they're having dinner together. That didn't happen for a long time.
My computer starts playing the catchy Skype tune and I click answer. Smiling at the camera, I see Daniel. Blonde and with striking facial features, he chuckles as he sees me. His crystal-white teeth bare, while the corners of his mouth rise in a grin. There is a messy bed, right behind him, but it wouldn't distract me that much.
"Hey," I say quietly, afraid to make my voice sound loud and powerful.
"Tell me," Daniel replies, running his fingers through his hair, which is slowly becoming messed up.
"What do you want to know?" I ask, grinning and making this conversation a bit funnier.
"Well, depends..."
"Ask."
"Fine. How did you manage to go to Ultra? You have always said that you couldn't."
"Won tickets in that lottery and just - flew right to Miami. It was awesome."
"Why did you break up with Marcus?"
"Uhm... Well, we were at this party and then... I went to the toilet, leaving him alone in his group of friends. I thought, I could trust him... I came back and he was with this girl, cheating on me. It was a huge shock for me. Everything from that night seems so surreal..."
I take my gaze away from the screen, looking at the floor for a moment. I've never thought, that it would be this hard to tell Daniel, Daniel about this night. It doesn't feel like we are close friends anymore. He seems like he's just a person I have known for a long time, not somebody whom I would tell all my secrets, like I did a long time ago.
"I said, that I am breaking up with him, so he told every single person in there, that I was the one cheating and well... It didn't end too well."
"Asshole," mutters Daniel. Every single person I tell - even though I've only told two people - have the same reaction to this story. Martin had exactly the same reaction, calling Marcus son of a bitch.
"He was," I reply, trying to keep away from the awkward silence, which will soon start hanging in the air.
"He still is," Daniel says a bit angrily, like he is trying to win an argument.
"He's dead."
"What the..."
I keep silent, looking away from the screen. Marcus is dead. This doesn't seem real, it probably will never be. The figure, that was so lively in my life, is now dead and the only thing that is left go him - memories.
Shivers rush through my body, making me remember that moment, when I have found out about his death. It feels like a thousand years have passed, however it's just a bit more than one week. One week. So much hit me in just this short amount of time, it doesn't seem real. Maybe, it's all a dream and I would just wake up in Marcus' bed together with him and go to smoke a cigarette.
I broke up with Marcus; won a ticket to Ultra Music Festival; visited Miami and have been to Ultra; met Martin Garrix; Marcus died; I came back to New York with Martin; got random notes from unknown people. This is too much to live through in just one week. Doesn't feel real at all.
Maybe, it's all a dream. Maybe, nothing of this has happened. Maybe, I am just dreaming of this or having a nightmare. I pinch myself hard, wanting to find out if this is a dream. This can't be a dream, although it feels like one. I have to wake up.
"You alright?" Daniel asks, making me float back to this room and all of the thoughts come back to Daniel.
"Yeah," I exhale, swallowing my tears and forcing them to go back from where they came from.
"It's probably not a good idea to continue this conversation," Daniel comments, looking me right in the eyes. His eyes hardly even pierce through mine, even though he tries to do it. He was never able to do that. The only person who could read my emotions was Martin.
He is so perfect in every single way, he could ever be. He had talent, beautiful personality and striking appearance. I feel so lucky to know him, not just be in a relationship with him. Our relationship. The way it started at Ultra, not a single one of us knowing, that it would end this way.
"Bye," I mumble and the call ends. Stale silence echoes through the room and through my mind, refreshing all of my thoughts.
I get up lazily and fall on the bed, making the wooden structure creak lightly. As I move up and fiddle with the covers, my phone lights up with a notification. Slowly, I grab it and unlock it to see the notification. It's Martin and he is messaging me. I smile at his text, although it's just a plain hey.
Martin: Hey.
Me: Hi.
Martin: How are you?
Me: Not bad.
Martin: Why such a plain answer?
Me: Feeling plain than ever.
Martin: You shouldn't be. You're special.
Me: Thanks. It feels lonely in here. It's like the room is empty, but there is no space in here. Like, you can't breathe, although there aren't any people in here.
Martin: I know.
Me: When is your next rave?
Martin: Today.
Me: Wait. When is your set? Am I interrupting?
Martin: No, it's earlier than you think in here.
Me: Good.
Martin: So, what do you wanna talk about?
Me: I don't know.
Martin: Fine, let's start with the basics. When is your birthday?
Me: 27 February. I am pretty sure, I know yours.
Martin: I am pretty sure as well.
Me: 14 May.
Martin: Well done! Ask me.
Me: When did you get hooked up on DJing?
Martin: I think it's written somewhere on the Wikipedia.
Me: Well, I didn't read the article fully, anyway.
Martin: I saw Tiesto playing at Athens Olympic Games and... got inspired. I think I was 8. It was very hard to save up for the equipment, but I managed and then, it all began.
Suddenly, lights go out, leaving me in complete darkness. I switch on the screen of my phone for it to shine through the darkness.
Slowly moving through my room, I stumble on something that wasn't here before.
A box.
The lights switch on as soon as I try to get up from the floor, touching my nearly sprained ankle. The pain seems to be fading away, while I get up from the floor. The box isn't large - probably the size of a regular shoe box. Grabbing a pair of scissors, I tear the tape and open it.
Inside, there are hundreds of Polaroids and photos. Marcus and I. Every single one of them is there, reminding me of the memories, which I have been trying to hide in my mind for ages. I don't even look through them, just put the box near my bin.
All of the memories hidden in the box's depths - the ones, that I wouldn't want to remember, ever. It's like the bad memories, that you try to erase from your mind, although they keep coming up again and again.
Falling exhausted on my bed, I reach for my phone. I text Martin a quick reply, telling him that I am tired and wish him good night. A storm starts raging outside my window, heavy rain banging on the roof. I close my eyes, wanting to fall asleep faster.
Nothing bothers me in my sleep this night and that's the only thing that makes my mood a bit better this morning. I get up from my bed and go straight to the shower. It's quite early and the warm streams of water finally wake me up.
When I am done, I wrap myself in a towel and exit the bathroom. Opening the curtains, I cringe, as bright sunlight hits my face. There isn't a single cloud in the intense blue sky and that's a good sign - no rain for sometime. Also, it's a good time to go for a run. Returning to my closet, I put my running attire and put my headphones on.
Creeping down the stairs, I figure that my parents are probably gone to work and that I can be as noisy, as I want to be. For some reason, my parents always go to work early. Maybe, they avoid the traffic, because sometimes it becomes unbearable. I hate taking cabs, no matter how many times I take them. I prefer walking or using the subway, because there is no traffic that way. Plus, walking gets you into shape and you somehow work out a bit.
Exiting the house, I lock the door behind me. The warm, spring air hits me right in the face. For some reason, it brings nostalgia of summer. Maybe, because all of my life, I couldn't bear winter and spring. Every single year, I would wait for summer, because I love summer. Its vibes and memories - everything about it makes it so special.
Summer has gifted me so much awesome memories, which I will surely remember forever. All of the fun evenings spent together with real friends, not Marcus, Sydney or Lynn. Fun, outgoing and motivational people that I was friends with, before I even got into the gang.
I run steadily, slowly building up my pace. I have gone quite out of shape after Ultra and Martin's stay. It's time to get back into the running habit, because at least, it helps me get my mind off some things. I inhale the air, enjoying every second of it.
This feels so good - to be outside, to be breathing in and out the warm oxygen atoms. After everything that happened to me, I still don't understand how I could hurt myself. It feels so good to be alive right now, after most of the darkness has passed and I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Or can I?
I have always thought, that after a long time of sadness and sorrows comes happiness. That's what most quotes tell people - be happy, you're not the only one struggling. Or something like this - your problem isn't the worst, people have it even worser. In some way, they are true - if you tell them to people, that are happy and that have already struggled through the darkness. If you tell them to a struggling person - you better run.
There's nothing worse, than comparing your own problems to other people's. They are meant to inspire you to stay strong, however at the end, you feel guiltier than ever. I felt that. It's not inspiring at all.
After all the sorrows, come new ones. The ones that you haven't been expecting. You fight them, only to find new sorrows waiting for you, however there are happy moments as well. Finding a person who can help you - isn't that happy? I guess, there is a balance of sadness and happiness in life - we just never notice the happiness, which is so disguised, that you have to see through the darkness to find it.
The streets are busy, other people rushing to work or doing morning workout. I do a loop around a block of old buildings and head back, deliberately slowing down my pace. Hunger slowly starts appearing in my stomach, as I approach my house.
Coming in, I put some music on and make myself breakfast. I decide to have a healthy one, so I grab a cereal bowl and put a lot of Greek yoghurt in there. Then, I put pieces of bananas and chunks of berries, sprinkling it with sprinkles.
I sit down at the table, checking my social media while eating. Nothing new is happening in there. Memes, selfies and other annoying things you might find there. Even more people posted on Marcus' page, probably to get noticed. I've never seen them hang out with him and I have been spending a lot of time with him. They're probably trying to get noticed, show how important they were in his life.
Putting down my phone, I put my plate into the sink and run upstairs to change into more comfortable clothes. Martin's songs are bursting through my speaker, while I change into black jeans and a black t-shirt. Right now, I am in love with Now That I've Found You. The drop is amazing and the vocals make the song much more inspiring and relaxing.
*
The whole day passes in complete boredom, although Martin texts me towards the evening. We chat about random things and I remember, that Daniel wanted to call me again. I guess, it's not the best time for me to call him right now. It's about six and he's probably studying or at a party.
Martin: Are you ok?
Me: Yeah, why?
Martin: Wanted to make sure that my girlfriend is ok.
Wait, what? Did Martin Garrix just say, that I am his girlfriend? Is it real?
A thousand butterflies flutter in my stomach, as I read that word over and over again. Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend... That word. I have been secretly hoping to see it or hear it from Martin, although I have never believed that he would tell it to me.
Well, that escalated quickly.
Me: I am fine. It's getting a bit boring here.
Martin: Wanna Skype?
Me: We don't have each other's contacts.
Martin: I'll add you.
Me: AlineIsNotOnFire
He stops replying and wait until I can let him contact me. It takes him a few minutes and then I can add him to my contacts. He calls me and I smile at the screen, looking at his sleepy, but happy eyes.
"Hey," he says and smiles with his perfect, white teeth. His hair is messy and I notice a hotel-room background.
"Hi," I smile back, running fingers through my tangled hair.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Martin asks.
"Um... Tell me about your family."
"Well, I have a younger sister."
"Cool, I have no siblings, so I have no total idea about that."
"It's fun. You always have someone to talk to, or when I was little, I could always play with my sister. She always annoyed me, when we were little, but that made it fun. I don't think anybody has a perfect relationship with their siblings."
"I always wanted somebody in my family to talk to. I mean, my parents never wanted to talk to me about my problems and that sucked."
"You have me now," Martin chuckles and I join in. It really does feel good to have him, although I had Daniel before him. However, Daniel and I started growing further apart from each other. He is now in the other end of USA and the only way of communicating is Skype. None of us want to visit each other.
"You are so lucky to have a nice sister and caring parents, unlike me."
"Why don't you talk to them? I'm sure they'll listen to you."
"No, they won't. I've tried doing that and their only answer is that I shouldn't be bothering them and interrupting from their work."
"Well, you can come to me," Martin grins, as he says that and runs his fingers through his messed-up hair.
I smile at him, thinking about how nice he is to me and to everybody in general. The way he smiles at his fans, when they ask to take pictures. And he is never annoyed by them, when they constantly come up. He loves his fans - this is a fact.
He is always so positive and stubborn, believing in the best and chasing the best. It's like he is never in a bad mood, his smile always shining on his face. He's so good at cheering people up and reading their emotions easily. Maybe, he has superpowers, that we don't know about.
"I would love to come."
"When do you wanna come?"
"Wait, are you actually serious?"
"Yeah, my parents would love to meet you."
I stare at the screen in awe, not really believing everything that is happening right now.
"So, when do you wanna go to Amsterdam?"
"I don't care, whenever you can."
"It's time to get ready," Martin smiles wittily. "I will get you in a week."
"Sure," I reply, my smile slowly fading away, when I remember that Daniel will come in a week.
A/N: I am so happy for 300 views! Thank you guys sm, you are really amazing! Also, who's excited for Martins birthday on the 14th May? It's less than a month left!