《I really don't have anything to say. My head has really been gone as fuck lately. I barely concentrate in class anymore and I don't know. It's not y'all problem so i'm just gone do the usual shit. Drop a vote/ comment, please! Deuces!✌
P.s. This is random, but... you're beautiful and stronger than you give yourself credit for. I'm a hypocrite for saying this, but it's true.👌》
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'Time for me to move on
So many hours have gone
Heart beats the pump of my blood
No strings for you to pull on
You've got your tongue in your cheek
So pardon if I don't speak
Can't tune my chords
Into your songs, no'
-Zayn (BeFoUr)
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Zayn
My baby girl looks so appalled right now I could laugh. I won't though. "Mya, what's wrong with you? Why are you buggin' out on me?", my baby girl asked with a frustrated sigh. "There ain't nothing wrong with me. I was just letting you know that Zayn is mine. I mean, I thought this-", I interrupted her not caring about what she was trying to say. "Zayn does not belong to you. Zayn has no interest in you. Zayn don't give a fuck about you nor will Zayn ever. So take what I am saying to heart and fuck off, broad", I said, squinting my eyes in disgust at her. "So you gone choose this bitch over me? I thought we had something special. You led me on, got me looking like i'm stupid 'n' shit", she snapped. I rolled my eyes and groaned in annoyance. "What even the fuck are you talking about? I don't even know you. We never dated or anything, so what delusions are you speaking of?", I drawled, bored of this girl and her shit.
"So you don't remember back in high school? You don't remember all of the times we talked and chilled together? You don't remember how you used to text me at night about linking up without Jawaad while we were dating? You really gone stand there and try to play me, Zayn?", she questioned with an attitude. "No, but that isn't how I remember it. I remember you ruining people's happiness because you couldn't get your way. I remember you hurting my best friend who was nothing but a friend to you while you was fucking her boyfriend behind her back. I remember losing her because of you and my cousin's bullshit. I remember you making an ass out of my cousin. I remember you blowing up my phone even after I told you countless times that I was not interested in you. I remember you being a manipulative backstabbing bitch. I remember a lot about you, but sweetheart there is nothing worth me wasting my time on you for or remotely using my precious time for that involves you", I responded snidely.
She sputtered looking like a fish out of water. I honestly have no idea why this girl will not leave me alone. I am not conceited, but I know that I look good. But I had no idea that I looked that damn good. I personally do not think that anyone is worth chasing as long as she has me. To think that I thought that women were a bit complicated is nothing compared to this girl.
"Fuck you, Zayn! You ain't shit!", she snapped shoving at my chest. Because she caught me off gaurd I stumbled a little. "Stop, Mya", Aaliyah snapped shoving her back away from me. "You just like that fat bitch, Karla. Always trying to tell me what to do and how to live my life. No wonder nobody likes your ass. You're so stuck up and mighty. You always looking down your nose at somebody like you're better than the rest of us", the ho spat making my baby girl take a step back, bumping into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her tensed body against mine. "I guess I was naive then. I actually thought that you was my friend, my best friend and here you are talking about me like a dog", she said calmly.
"She is not worth your time, baby girl, never was or will be", I whispered into her ear backing us away from her before releasing her waist and draping my arm around her shoulders. Jamya laughed humorlessly, "I'm not worth the time? That's so rich coming from someone like you. You act just as high and mighty as she does. You think your ass is God of somebody just because people stay on your dick. You ain't shit. You ain't the man. You a little bitch that hides behind a fucking persona. You just like all of these other niggas on campus", she sneered.
Now it was my turn to laugh. "You can say whatever you want to about me, but it still does not change the fact that you were so gong ho for my dick. What has it been? 5, 7 years? You are talking so much shit about everyone but yourself. You seem to forget that you are trash. How can you keep betraying loyal ass people like Aaliyah and Karla? It does not get any better than having people like them behind you, but you are just like every other desperate self-destructive bitch in the world. All that you think about is yourself and that is exactly why you will always be alone. That is why when your ass dies noone will even show up for your funeral. You are fucking pathetic and I honestly have no idea why anyone would waste even a second on you", I said harshly before turning myself and Aaliyah away from the stunned whore and the crowd that we had attracted. I need a damn cigarette and maybe even a drink after that bullshit.
"You fucking her, ain't you!? That's why you so team Aaliyah ain't it? 'Cause she giving you pussy now you act like she is the the holy grail. What does she have that I don't?!", she yelled halting us. Before I could say anything my baby girl had shrugged my arm from around her shoulders and went stood toe to toe with her. "What Zayn and I do has nothing to do with you. It is nobody's business but ours. I could give you a long list of things that I have that you do not, but it is like he said. You are not worth the time. You have no idea how many people have told me that you are not worth my time, but because you were my friend, I held you down. When you would cry about some little boy breaking your heart, I was there. When your daddy died, I was there. When you got so fucked up at that party and had to go to the hospital, I was there. When you was almost raped by that boy, I was there. I got that boy off you because you were too gone to protect yourself eventhough he was twice my size and could have hurt me too. I was there. I was always there and you throw everything I have ever done for you back in my face like it is nothing? Do not talk to me ever again. I am done being a fool for you to use. Just for you to have a clue about what I have that you lack, proper grammer. 'Ain't', it is 'aren't' or 'are not'. Say what you want to say, but keep my name out of your mouth. Keep Karla's name out of your mouth. If you have a problem with someone you take it up with them directly. I apologize for not being worthy of you considering me a real friend. Have a nice life, Jamya", then my baby girl was briskly walking towards me.
She was about to pass me when I caught her by the arm. She looked up at me and I could see my reflection in her glossed with tears eyes before she jerked away from me and continued on her way. I wanted to go after her, but Karla beat me it. I watched them go before glancing towards Jamya stood looking smug like she had accomplished a life goal or something and just shook my head before walking away. I had gone to the local pub right outside of campus to grab a drink, something I do not do often. I needed a distraction.
My baby girl was hurt. I knew she was. It was in her eyes and I knew that look all too well. I had seen it on many girls' faces when they realized that nothing would become of us after our brief fling was over. I had seen it on my face when I looked in the mirror after my grandfather died. It was the look of heartache and devastation. It was the look of someone that felt utterly at a loss for words.
It was like 'What could you say?' I have no idea how long I had been there before my cousin showed up looking every bit of emotionally drain as he probably was. I looked up at him staring into my half-empty glass, releasing the smoke from my spliff into the air.
"Jack Daniels on the rocks", he called to the bartender. "Women are hard fucking work", he grumbled making me burst out laughing. My mood had been kind of broody before my cousin showed up and I was grateful for the laugh he provided. I have my self-destructive tendencies too. I have my faults, but I have never let them rule me, dictate me.
"They are, but they are so worth it, yeah?", I responded after sobering up from my laughing fit. "Some", he commented. I nodded in agreement. "Cheers to that", I said holding up my glass and clinking it with his before taking a big gulp of it. The dark liquid burned my throat as it rushed down my throat and spread a warmness through my body that had me feeling mellower than I had felt. After a while of us quietly drinking I had asked the question that was buzzing around my head.
"How are they?", I asked. Waad paused, glass to his mouth before taking a sip and sitting it down. "Yah is out of it. She did not say much while I was there and Karla, she would barely look at me. She blames me for everything and kicked me out of their room when I tried to talk to her", he said dejectedly. I shrugged, "I'll visit my baby girl later. I think she needs the space right now, they both do. So we're going to enjoy a little guy time then we'll go check on them after they have had some time to cool off", I responded swirling my drink around in the glass before knocking the little that remained back and ordering another drink.
I finished my drink and spliff before I practically carried home my cousin who had knocked back 5 drinks in addition to his first one. "Wh-why won't she takes meh berk? I luh the shid outs ha. I gaves ha goods dick a few nights ago. Now she wanna be bransnew wif a nigga. Man, furks ha. We 'pose to luh eat odder. I luh ha, Ja!-", and he just went on and on while I just hummed every now and then to satisfy him so he would not start bitchin' at me about not listening. Although I had been stopped listening after he let him hooking up with La slip to me. The way my cousin complains about her ignoring his very existence if she can had me under the impression that sex between the two was nearly impossible. I obviously was wrong. I wonder if my baby girl knew or is she still in the dark about it like I had been?
After another 30 minutes of dealing with Jawaad, I was finally on my way to see my baby girl. It was after curfew, but I knew how to get around without getting caught. So I found my way up to her room no problem. I knocked on the door and stepped back to wait. When noone answered I knocked again, but a little harder. After waiting for second time with the same result, I started knocking with my fist like I was the police.
All fucks were gone about disturbing the floor and making sure that my baby girl and La wouldn't get in trouble. Feeling a little high off fumes and irritation, I began singing.
'Baby, I just don't get it,
Do you enjoy being hurt?
I know you smell the perfume,
The makeup on the shirt,
You don't believe his stories,
You know that they're all lies,
Bad as you are, you stick around
And I just don't know why
If I was your man, baby yo-'
The door was yanked open by an unbelievably done looking Aaliyah. She has on a tank top and a pair of sweatpants with a headscarf tied on her head. All in all, she looked like she was about to get in bed, but she still looked good to me. "Don't you live off campus?", she drawled cocking her hips to the side. I smirked, "Yeah, but I want to spend time with you. So you going to let me in, baby girl, or keep me waiting out here all night?", I responded. She stared at me blank for a few seconds before just walking away from the door.
I took that as my invitation to come in and walked into the room closing and locking the door behind me. I walked over to her bed and kicked off my shoes while at the same time taking off my jacket before lying in bed beside my baby girl. I noted that La was already a sleep. That was typical Karla. The woman has always slept like a log, but that was one of the things that we had bonded over, sleeping. My baby girl's back was to me but I could tell that she was still awake.
I draped my arm across her waist and scooted up behind her until her back was touching my chest. "No funny business, Zayn", she mumbled. I kissed her exposed shoulder, "I am not trying to make you laugh, love", I mumbled kissing up her shoulder to her ear. "Stop right now, Zayn. We are not doing anything with Karla laying across from us on the other side of the room", she whispered. I raised a brow fighting back a smirk at what she said. "Such a freak, baby girl. Your mind is so dirty. I just wanted to hold you and maybe kiss you a little", I whispered into her ear, ghosting my fingertips across her exposed stomach where her shirt had slightly risen up at.
She shivered and released a sigh. "Stop and go to sleep", she mumbled grabbing me by the wrist, ceasing my gently caresses. I moved her hair aside with my free hand and kissed the nape of her neck. "How are you feeling, baby girl?", I mumbled disregarding what she had said. She sighed again, but pressed her body closer to mine as if that was possible. "About?", she mumbled laying her hand on top of mine and slotting her fingers through mine. "Yo' best friend, yeah, that's yo' bestie", I sang softly getting a giggle in response.
She turned over facing me and laid her head on my chest. "No. She isn't my best friend. She never was. I honestly just feel nothing about it. I mean, it is what it is", she whispered, breath fanning over my chest through my shirt. I hummed wrapping an arm around her. "If you want to talk about it or anything you can talk to me", I whispered. She hummed snuggling against my chest more. "Thank you", she mumbled.
We fell silent and not too long after my baby girl was letting out gentle breaths as she slept using my chest as a pillow. I carded my fingers through her hair as I stared up at the ceiling absentmindedly. Earlier in the night's events played in my mind. My mind was skipping around from us being together to La, to Jawaad, to that trifling bitch, to the pub and home, and finally to where I am now. I know that none of the drama is entirely over, but I cannot find it in me to care at the moment. So I kissed my baby girl on the forehead before closing my eyes and falling asleep to the thumping of her heart that beat against my side with my fingers buried in her hair.
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《So what do you think about Jamya now? Zaaliyah's relationship? Jala (Jawaad & Karla)? Anything about this chapter? Comment people!✌》