It was a few weeks later Ethan and I lay stretched out on the floor in his bedroom.Neither of us felt like working on homework but because I’d never just hung out with anybody, even Ethan, I wasn’t sure what to do.
“You know, we should probably get started on our homework,” I said, rolling over on my side.
“Seriously? Come on, Case,” he said, using his new nickname for me, “you’ve been coming over to my house for what? Four, five weeks now? Do we always have to study? Why can’t we take a break?”
Ethan rolled over on his side to face me. “Besides, people are noticing us hanging out. Why not just admit we’re friends and hang out like friends instead of just study partners?”
I knew he was right. People were starting to look at us during classes and at lunch and even in the hallways when he insisted on walking me to class. He’d somehow managed to weave himself inside the first line of my defenses and I liked the idea of calling Ethan my friend. But I couldn’t help cling to my reluctance.
I’d spent most of my life trying to avoid people and old habits die hard.
Maybe that’s why he was right…
“Well, what do you say?” Ethan asked, propping himself up on his elbow and holding his hand out to me, “friends?”
I stared at his hand for a minute before finally nodding and extending my hand out to his. “Friends,” I agreed and we shook. Our hands stayed connected for several long moments before we let go.
“So now what do you wanna do?” Ethan asked.
I considered for a moment before resting my head on my arm. “What was your life like back in the city?” I asked, curious. I’d grown up in Alabama all my life and I’d never been outside this little town.
One day, though, I hoped…
“Why do you wanna know that?” Ethan asked, sitting up and stretching. He wasn’t wearing his letterman jacket and my eyes instantly zoned in on the way the muscles in his arms flexed.
I’d never been one to pay attention to the way a guy’s muscles rippled when he moved but whoa…
Nice. Very nice.
“Case?”
I blinked, his voice bringing me out of my stupor. “Um…”
Think, Casen, think. You have a damn brain. Use it.
I shook my head. “Huh?” was all I managed stupidly.
“Why do you wanna know what my life in the city was like?” he repeated, laughing.
“Oh…I don’t know…Just curious I guess…” I mumbled, “I mean, I’ve never been anywhere outside of Evanston…”
He nodded. “Well, alright then.” He got to his feet and walked over to his closet. He slid the door back before reaching up to pull out a box from the top shelf. He placed it down beside me and sat down next to it.
“Well, here it is,” he said, “old yearbooks and pictures from my life in the city.”
I reached inside to pull out a stack of pictures. Some were old; some were new but all of them contained Ethan with other people. There were pictures of Ethan playing different games with his friends, parties, family events. There was one of Ethan with a friend and an older man, all of them grinning wide and holding up massive fish.
Ethan laughed when he saw it. “That was taken about two summers ago when Brian and his dad invited me to go fishing with them. God, that was a funny trip. Brian loves fishing, but he doesn’t have the patience for it. Took him forever to catch that fish.”
We flipped through the pictures, Ethan explaining different pictures and the memories that came with them. “And this one was taken when I was ten. Dad had just gotten a promotion and decided to celebrate by taking us all out to the beach.”
I studied the picture. A ten year old Ethan was grinning, one of his front teeth missing, as he and a younger Abby worked on making a sand castle. I couldn’t help but smile at the picture; he looked so happy in it. I couldn’t help but be envious of his childhood.
“It looked like you had a pretty amazing life back in the city,” I commented. I glanced up to notice him looking at me with a peculiar expression on his face. “What?” I asked, blinking.
He chuckled. “Nothing. You just look pretty when you smile. You should do it more often,” he responded.
I blushed deeply at his words and let my hair fall in front of my face to hide it. “I…um…thanks…”
The next picture we looked at made my heart stop momentarily. It couldn’t have been taken more than a year ago. Ethan was sitting on a picnic table with his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a girl with long black hair and tanned skin. They were both smiling.
For some reason, my stomach dropped in disappointment. She looked like his girlfriend. “Who’s that?” I asked.
Ethan picked it up from the pile. I wasn’t sure what to make of his expression as he studied it. It was carefully passive, not allowing me to tell what he was feeling but his shoulders were stiff and it left me wondering. “That’s Sarah.”
“Is she your girlfriend?” I asked before I could stop myself.
Ethan shook his head. “Not anymore,” he responded, “we broke up before my family moved down here. She wasn’t interested in a long distance relationship.”
“Oh…I’m sorry,” I mumbled, ignoring the feeling that some would call relief that had settled on my chest.
He merely shrugged. “It’s over and done with. I moved on and so has she. Nothing more; nothing less.”
I nodded and continued looking through the pictures. After that, things were quiet between us for a little while but we managed to break out of the awkward silence after a while.
When it was time for me to go, he walked me to the door. We said our goodbyes and I headed back over to my house.
~*~
Ethan
“How about working on Algebra?” I suggested a few days later as I sat down beside Casen on her window sill.
She rolled her eyes at me. “You’re never going to get any better at English if you’re always helping me with Algebra,” she retorted.
I laughed good naturedly. “Yeah, so? I don’t need to get better at English. I just need to be able to pass so I can finish out my last season,” I responded, grinning.
“Football players!” she groused with a shake of her head. “Come on; let’s work on English for once. If we don’t, you’re going to fail the next written exam Mrs. Gibbs gives us.”
“I hate working on English though,” I protested playfully.
“Yeah, well, I hate working on Algebra. So we’re even,” she responded as she pulled out the English homework.
I groaned. “Fine. You win this time.”
“Don’t I always?” she asked.
“Nope,” I answered as I grabbed my English homework. We were supposed to write a practice essay on either a well known story writer or poet from the eighteen hundreds. I knew Mrs. Gibbs had assigned it specifically to make me fail. I mean, was she serious? I didn’t know anybody from the eighteen hundreds! I barely knew who Edgar Allen Poe was!
Okay, fine. I’m over exaggerating. I know who Edgar Allen Poe is but my point is, this essay was going to destroy my grade.
“So, do you have any idea who you’re going to write your essay on?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Um…Edgar Allen Poe?”
She gave me a blank stare. “Is that really the best you can do? He’s probably the most famous poet and writer of the eighteen hundreds! I can already tell you that you won’t be the only one writing about him. Do you know anybody else?”
“No…” I muttered sheepishly.
She sighed heavily. “I should have known. Okay, so Mrs. Gibbs wants us to write an introduction, then a biography on the person we chose. She also wants us to pick two stories or poems our person has written. Do you have an idea which stories or poems you’re going to pick by him?”
“Nope, not a clue!” I replied cheerfully. Something in my tone must have set her off because she raised a brow at me. “Ethan…”
“Fine, I honestly don’t know any stories or poems by him,” I admitted.
“You’re hopeless…” she said, shaking her head at me. There was a hint of laughter in her tone.
“Don’t remind me…” I muttered. I looked up from the homework page and froze.
On the far side of the cafeteria where I was sure she thought I couldn’t see them, was my sister sitting next to none other than Jerry with his hand placed way too far up on her thigh. She was giggling at something he was whispering in her ear.
I gritted my teeth as rage filled me.
“Um…Ethan?” Casen asked.
“I’ll be right back,” I growled and climbed off the window sill before heading over there.
My sister glanced up in my general direction and her face drained of color.Jerry only cocked a brow and stood up with Abby, a hand on the small of her back as I neared.
“Abby, what the hell did I tell you about hanging out with him?” I demanded.
Jerry took a step forward. “Hey, calm down. We’re just hanging out, Dad,” he sneered.
I turned a threatening glare towards him. “Now, would be a good time for you to shut up,” I snapped before turning my attention back to Abby, “Come on, Abby. Out in the hallway. Now!”
She darted her eyes between me and Jerry. For once, common sense must have gotten through to her because she stepped away from Jerry and towards me. “I’ll see you later, Jerry,” she muttered.
“No you won’t,” I said firmly.
“Hey, she can hang out with whoever she wants to,” Jerry intervened. “Come on, Abby, babe. You don’t have to listen to him. Stay here with me.”
I clenched my jaw as I put a check on my temper. I was super close to punching the guy in the face and I didn’t want to get in trouble for fighting at school. Been there, done that.So I ignored him as I took hold of Abby’s wrist and dragged her out of the cafeteria and towards a quieter hallway where we wouldn’t have an audience for what I was sure was about to be World War three.
“Why hell were you hanging out with Jerry, Abby?” I demanded, turning to face her.
“Because I can! You can’t control who I hang out with you know! I’m not a baby!” she snapped, stomping her foot like, ironically, a baby.
“Then maybe you should quit acting like one!” I retorted angrily, “I’ve heard things about Jerry, Abby. I don’t want you around him.”
“He’s changed! He told me so!”
“Oh, so you believe him? What are you, stupid? He’s just going to use you like he did all those other girls.”
“I’d rather believe him over you! At least he doesn’t smother me like you do!”
“I’m not smothering you; I’m only trying to protect you from your own stupidity!” I snarled, “Now I never want you hanging out with that bastard again, do you understand me?”
“Who are you to lecture me on who I hang out with,” Abby shrieked, “when you’re hanging out with that freak?” she pointed over to where Casen was hiding in a doorway nearby.
“Casen. Is. Not. A. freak,” I gritted and took a threatening step towards my sister, my fists clenched.
She took a step back, her eyes glowing with anger. “Do yourself a favor, Ethan, and follow your own effing advice.” With that, she stormed away before I could stop her.
“Abby!” I shouted after her, but she ignored me completely.
A tic working in my jaw, I rubbed a frustrated hand down my face as I battled the urge to go after her and try to put some sense in her head.
“You can come out now, Casen,” I sighed heavily.
She stepped out from behind the doorway and took a cautious step towards me. “You alright?” she asked quietly.
I let out a frustrated sigh and shook my head. “No, I’m not. I’m trying to keep her from making my mistakes but she won’t listen!”
~*~
Casen
I tilted my head in confusion. “Your mistakes?” I questioned.
Ethan looked up at the ceiling as if he was trying to compose himself. “I…back in junior high I was a lot like Jerry.”
My brows furrowed as I tried to picture Ethan acting anything like Jerry.
I came up with a blank.
There was no way that the guy standing in front of me was even capable of being a user like Jerry was. “I doubt that,” I said.
He shook his head at me. “I’ll tell you the story sometime…” he said and rested his head against one of the lockers lining the hallway we were standing in.
I stood there, unsure of what to do and feeling bad for him. He looked so frustrated and put out; how the heck was I supposed to comfort him? I reached out to place a hand on his shoulder before stopping and thinking better of it. I let my hand drop to my side.
Remembering something Abby had said, I tilted my head and asked, “Why do you hang out with me, Ethan?”
He looked at me with a quizzical expression. “Huh?” he asked.
“She had a good point…You’re lecturing her about hanging out with Jerry while you’re hanging out with the resident freak of Evanston High School…” I said.
Ethan whirled to face me, anger contorting his features. “Don’t ever compare yourself to Jerry!” he snarled.
His reaction made me back up a step, my eyes wide. I’d never seen Ethan this angry or angry at all. He was patience incarnate and to see this side of him was terrifying.
Even more terrifying than when my dad was angry even though I knew, or at least hoped, Ethan would never hit me.
“Why not?” I countered, “I’m the Emo Freak, Ethan. Not something a quarterback should be associating with.”
“You’re not a user, Casen! I don’t see you going around trying to hook up with every girl in the school and then leaving them in the dirt.” Ethan took a deep breath as if trying to calm himself before continuing on in a much calmer tone, “I told you once, Casen. I don’t think you’re a freak; I think you’re just lonely.”
I opened my mouth to respond to that but then closed it. How the heck was I supposed to respond to that?
After several long moments of silence, he said, “we better get back to the cafeteria.” He started back towards the cafeteria.
I started following him then stopped. “Ethan?”
He paused and looked back at me but said nothing.
“I’m sorry…” I mumbled.
Ethan’s expression softened and he reached out to give my hand a squeeze, startling me. “There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he said quietly, “Now come on, you still have to educate me on stuff Edgar Allen Poe has written so I won’t fail.” His tone was playful and his lips were turned in a half smile.
I don’t know what made me do it. Sudden impulse tingled through my spine and I found myself reaching up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips against his. Time seemed to be suspended for a brief period before reality bashed me over the head with a club.
I jerked back, gasping and covering my mouth with my hand. My face burned neon red in terror and embarrassment. “I’m sorry!” I squeaked out before I bolted down the hallway away from Ethan.
I heard him call after me but I didn’t stop. I just kept running until I was certain he wasn’t following me at all.
I didn’t know where in the school I was but I didn’t care. Heart pounding so hard I swore it could have busted through my chest and breath grating against my throat, I slid down a couple of lockers. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against them.
What the hell did I just do?