2nd- Interview
"The new neighbors," Mom repeated, putting her bag down on the couch. "They're moving in today, and I wanted to make food for them."
"New neighbors? But wasn't Mr. Walter living there?" I asked her.
Mr. Walter was a kind old man who lived alone after his wife died and his children moved away after getting married and having their own family. He often bakes cookiesㅡdelicious cookies, may I addㅡfor me when he's feeling bored and I really appreciate them. It's like I can actually live a normal, quiet life when he's around.
Mom's face turned grim when she heard me mention Mr. Walter, which made me feel anxious, somehow. "Natalie..."
"Don't tell me." I stopped her from speaking, taking a step back, feeling tears suddenly take over my eyes. I had my assumptions on what she was going to say but I didn't want her to confirm them. Not now.
"Natalie, listen first," she quietly told me, holding onto my hand.
"No... it can't be..." I tried denying all the facts. I've noticed a few things that has happened over the past months, but I didn't want to let them surround my mind.
"Natalie! He's gone," she told me. Her voice was shaking and I could hear it. "He's gone, Natalie. He died two weeks ago."
I slipped a step back. "W-what? How? Why am I only knowing this now?"
"He was admitted to the hospital three days before his death for a few treatments and on the day itself..." Mom didn't finish her sentence and only shook her head. "I'm sorry, Natalie. I know you liked him very much."
Taking a step back, I just shook my head and ran up to my room, where I shut and locked the door. Taking a deep, sharp breath, I sat down on my swivel chair and took out my blue notebook once again to write.
Have you ever wondered what you would be without that someone? It doesn't matter who; just someone who matters enough that when they're gone, it would feel as if they took a part of you with them so now you're left empty.
I'm afraid sometimes. We often love someone too much, care and adore them too, but sometimes, they just... go. Without notice, without another whisper to say goodbye. And then you're left dumbfounded. Stuck. Unable to continue because it felt as if you hit the brakes to your journey.
Going back to imagining what you'd be if they were gone. Well, in this case, he wouldn't worry about anything. All his problems, his grieves, they're all gone. He doesn't have to worry about anything and or anyone. Even the feelings of the people he left wouldn't worry him.
If I were to compare it to a different situation... who should I think of first?
Let's pretend my dear friend Bradley left me. He's a good friend of mine and he's close enough for me to care if he left.
If he left, I would be devastated. But at the same time, it wouldn't matter because I would still go on with life, just without him. For the first few days, I'd be distraught; thoughts of him will continue to play in my mind and slowly, but surely, I'd eventually forget about him. I'd forget about his favourite colour. I'd forget the fact he really liked to listen to jazz music and tell me to try it out. I'd even forget the fact he ever confessed to his crush in a bear mascot costume once. I'd forget all of that, eventually.
People will leave our lives because better people will take their spots and fill it up for us. To make our life better, even when we know it's okay now.
By the time I was done, I felt some parts of the notebook and noticed they were wet. It took me a few more seconds before I realized I was crying, something I didn't do often. I've always been able to hold in the tears. Even when I feel like my family might fall apart, I do my best to act like everything's okay.
So why did I have to cry now?
I immediately reached out for the box of tissues on my desk and wiped the tears away. Throwing the used tissues into the small blue thrash bin, I closed my notebook and hopped into my bed, closing my eyes as my forehead wrinkled from the thoughts of Mr. Walter.
He knew. He has always been there whenever my parents fought. So that was why he made delicious chocolate chip cookies for me. He often gave me that smile when he handed it to me. There were no pity visible in his smile. Only warmness and comfort.
"Cookies will cheer you up when you need them," he once told me and I took his words to heart.
Although, as much as I wanted to make my own cookies, I really couldn't. Only because I really sucked in anything related in the kitchen, except for eating and getting food. My hands weren't made for making food. I'm yet to find out what they were for.
So I always settle for buying a batch of cookies in the bakery nearest my house, Dough House. They sell really delicious cookies there for an affordable price. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Walter sold them his recipes. They almost tasted the same.
Before I knew it, I fell asleep, dreaming about times I used to have with Mr. Walter before his death.
~~~
"Did anything happen in school, darling?" Dad asked as he cut his chicken piece.
"No, it's still the same as always," I simply answered, not giving that much effort. Whenever we talked about school, there was really nothing to talk about.
Dad wasn't that happy with the reply I gave him, which was probably the reason why he was slightly frowning, only in the least obvious way. "Are you sure? Surely there are more to what you do in school than just plain on studying. You know, like friends, admirers, crushes, hang outs and whatever else people your age do for fun."
"There's none."
"You shouldn't push her to tell you something when there's nothing, Arnold," Mom knowingly told him, sending him a small glare.
I wasn't surprised to see it coming. The fights were usual, but I tried my best not to waver from them. Quietly, I just continued eating my chicken.
"There might be something she must have forgotten about, Lisa," Dad reasoned out to her. "Besides, kids these days just don't open up to their parents as much as we did when we were their age."
Mom tried her best not to pick a fight but it's hard to change old habits. "Oh, so you're saying that you told your parents everything when we were Natalie's age? What nonsense it that?"
"Lisa, now isn't the time to pick a fight. I must get going as soon as possible and you're deciding to say things like that now?" Dad said back in a sharp tone.
Sometimes I wondered whether I had parents or immature adults as friends who live with me. Probably the latter. I wanted to jest, "Where's all the love, you guys?" But now didn't seem like a great timing.
"Going as soon as possible? Where are you going?" Mom asked, not wanting to even try to hide the demanding tone as she asked him. "Arnold, it's too late to go out."
I glanced at the wall clock that was noisy ticking, but even its noise was unable to be heard because the awkward and tenses atmosphere sounded louder. The smiley face in the clock smiled down at me, as if slightly mocking me but I shrugged it off.
8:29 PM.
It wasn't that late. But, I had to agree with Mom. Where on earth would Dad go this time of night? It's quite late to go out, but probably an okay time to come back home. I don't know. I wasn't an adult so I didn't know what time was considered late.
"I have an emergency meeting."
Dad worked in an office as... I wasn't even sure what his position was. I'm just sure he works in this business company where they well a product they produce. I guess he was a businessman, but he doesn't go out of the office much so I had a guess that he had a role somewhere in there. Like, a manager or something.
"At this time? Arnold, there's no way I'd believe thatㅡ"
"You always don't believe what I'm trying to tell you. It's important, so I have to quickly finish up and go. And don't you try to give me some lecture, Lisa. I'm your husband, not your son. I have my own life too," Dad reasoned out.
"Just because you have your own life doesn't mean you get to live it as freely as you did in your bachelor years. I swear, Arnold, if you ever try to cheat on meㅡ"
"What nonsense are you speaking now? Never had I heard such ludicrous words come out of your mouth, Lisa! Cheating? I married you for a reason. I chose you out of the billions of people living in this world. Take a second to appreciate that," Dad tried to say, but Mom didn't seem to look pleased. So in the end, he stood up and left the table.
By now, Mom was violently murdering his chicken, even when it was already dead. The poor, tender chicken was being sliced into smaller pieces and even smaller ones after that. After Mom gave up, she threw her fork and knife onto the plate and leaned back in her chair, stressed.
I continued silently eating but I knew my hands were tightening its grip on the knife and fork and my chewing became harder and harder. Despite all that, I just continued to calmly eat and kept a straight face.
"I'm sorry, Natalie, that you had to see that... again," Mom apologized, holding onto my hand as she threw me several apologetic smiles.
"It's okay, Mom. I'm used to it," I assured her.
Mom didn't bother to hide the fact that her eyes reflected the emotion of pain. Her green eyes stared at me, even if I wasn't staring back. I knew she felt guilty about her daughter always hearing her and Dad fight non-stop, but there wasn't much she could do to help it.
I didn't know when that habit of always picking a fight started, but I hope they resolve it as soon as possible, because I was slowly growing tired of always writing about them just to let my bottled feelings out a little. There would be times I'd cry before I sleep, but those were the rare moments.
See, the difference between the me at home and at school is that I'm brighter at school. At least, there, I wouldn't be able to hear any of their useless bickering and that already brightens me up.
"I'm done eating. I'm going to my room," I told Mom, suddenly standing up.
Mom stood up as well. "Oh? Oh, right, well, er, I'll clean up here so get some good rest, okay, Nat?"
Hearing Mom call me with my nickname sent different feelings tumbling down on me I wasn't even sure which to be feeling. I just gave her a smile in return before I lazily pulled myself up the staircases, to which I met Dad standing at the very top of the stairs.
He threw me a smile as he walked down to meet me. He fixed his glasses and his peach coloured tie, which oddly complimented his faded blue polo shirt. "Hello, darling."
"Hi, Dad," I greeted, giving him a smile. No matter how much they fought in front of me, I couldn't find myself loving them even less. After all, they've been loving me since day one. "Going out already?"
"I'm sorry I can't stay longer. Take care of your mom, okay, darling? We may always fight, but that doesn't mean we love each other less. You know that, right?"
This was what I hated. They always explain to me that they still loved each other even after all the fights. I've seen the worst fights, ones where they threatened each other with words I wished I didn't get to hear.
I just nodded as a reply because I realized that Dad was still standing there with eyes that awaited an answer. "I will, Dad."
I just wished you two would do that instead of me, I wanted to add but kept my words minimal.
Dad pulled me into a warm hug and caressed the back of my head lightly. "I knew I could count on you, darling. We're sorry you have parents like us, but we're also thankful you're our daughter."
I inhaled sharp breaths as I felt my nose sting with the tears, for some odd reason. It felt as if I was drowning and I continued breathing in water and it was painful. I just bit my lower lip, hoping and praying no tears escaped my eyes.
After Dad greeted me goodbye and left, I immediately rushed into my room and took deep, calm breaths. When the feeling of wanting to cry surpassed as if it was nothing, I took a slight bath and changed into much more comfortable clothing before snuggling into my warm bed.
That night, I ended up having nightmares of monsters I thought finally left my younger self's bed.
~~~
After purchasing a baby bear breadㅡa bread in the shape of a bear coated with white chocolate and decorated with cute eyes drawn with milk chocolateㅡfrom Dough House, I journeyed my way to school.
Mom mentioned something about the new neighbors this morning at breakfast. She said she and the wife of the house were going to the café today to get to know each other more.
Soon enough, I'll be able to meet the family that now lives in Mr. Walter's house. Call me a weirdo, but I needed to see if they were worthy of living in a deceased man's house, which probably still smell like melted chocolates and cinnamon.
Not now. As of now, they still don't exist to me. I still believe Mr. Walter lived there and it'll take me some time to finally be able to accept the fact he's gone.
Once I arrived in school, I saw Bradley with his girlfriend Jessica. I liked Jessica, only because she was a sweetheart, unlike the other girls whom Bradley has dated. There was this one girl who tried to cut me because she thought I was kidding Bradley behind her back. I swear, she should have been arrested then.
Bradley and I were close, but not that close. We don't hang out that often, but we know we still have that invisible string that reminds us we're still friends.
When I passed by the both of them, the happy couple didn't hesitate to wave at me and gave me a huge, inviting smile on their faces. I smiled back, waving as well.
"Natalie! Hey! How are you doing?" Bradley asked me.
There were only rare occasions when we talked. We usually just said hi before heading our way but today must be special.
"Hi, Brad. What are you up to? Also, I've been well," I replied, fixing the heavy textbooks I held in my arms.
Bradley began rubbing the nape of his neck as he shyly asked, "Look... this is embarrassing to ask from you but... will you accompany Jessica this lunch?"
Jessica was smiling shyly as well. Another reason why I preferred her over the other girls was because she was lovable. "I'd appreciate it, Natalie Cosgrove."
A grin etched its way up my lips. "Woah, hold on. Jessica, of course! You didn't have to say my full name. You should have just called me Nat, like Bradley does."
"Really? You would?" Jessica's eyes were shining by now. Then, the next thing I knew it, we were hugging. "You're the best, Nat!"
"Cool choice, Nat."
I stuck my tongue out at Bradley then asked Jessica, "Where are your friends, though?"
"They all have a dance practice during lunch break. I would have joined but I have a dancing trauma. I almost broke my legs dancing, so now I stay away from things like that. Such a shame," Jessica openly told me. "But I really appreciate you coming with me, Natalie."
"Sure," I replied, eyeing Bradley. "But where's this dork going? How come he's not going to accompany you?"
Jessica coiled her arms around Bradley's. "This dork has a science project to work on, that's why he's not going to come with me."
"Oh, he's definitely a dork." I didn't even try to sugar coat my words.
"At least you didn't say nerd," Bradley said, snickering.
"Nerd," Jessica said seconds after.
"Jessie!"
Patting him on his head, she told him, "An adorable, handsome nerd."
Bradley started sulking as he said, "I don't see how that made things better."
"Well, I better get going. You two are too sweet for my eyes, and I had enough sweets from my baby bear bread. See you guys later, then!" I said, walking away from them, giving both of them waves.
Actually, there was at least thirty minutes before the first class started. I didn't get away from the lovey dovey couple because I didn't want to be a thirdwheelㅡtrust me, I would have stayed longer; I really like talking to themㅡit was because I had something to do. Think of it as some morning ritual.
Up in the rooftop, I dropped my bag next to the waist-level wall and took out my blue notebook. I had things on my mind I just wanted to let out right now.
Sorry.
How come that word hurts more than it's supposed to? In fact, it was never supposed to hurt. It's supposed to resolve all the problems you had with the other party, so how come the opposite thing was happening?
When a friend says sorry after hurting you, it hurts. But when a parent says sorry, it hurts even more. You can't help but feel guilty because, after all, they're your parents. If you don't feel somewhat like the worst when your parents forgives you for not being able to take care of you better, you're not human.
What happens when they tell you they love each other but just tells you, and not them themselves? Then there's obviously a problem there. There's a huge wall standing in the middle of them and they're not doing anything about it.
I want to help, but I don't know how.
After writing, the last line, I wasn't sure if there were still anything else to add so I just decided to begin folding the paper into a paper plane after ripping it out of the book. The bell was going to ring in three minutes so I rushed myself and finally let it flew.
After I was satisfied with it, I rushed down the stairs and into my class, taking a seat in where I was supposed to sit.
Mr. Yoo, surprisingly a Korean teacher, entered our class with a happy grin. His accent was a little off, but he was still understandable and I found it adorable. "Hello class!"
"Good morning, Mr. Yoo," greeted the classmates.
It took us three days to finally get his name pronunciation done. I liked how Mr. Yoo was Korean and teaching us business. It intrigued me a lot.
Classes started and for the whole fifty minutes, I was trying my best not to let my mind wander elsewhere. As it was about to, the door suddenly swung open and revealed our class teacher, Mr. Brooks.
"Sorry, Yoo. I need to borrow the kid's time for a while," Mr. Brooks informed Mr. Yoo with a friendly smile.
"Ah, no problem." Mr. Yoo nodded his head, urging Mr. Brooks to proceed.
Mr. Brooks didn't hesitate to take a step inside and informed us, "We have a new student today, class! How exciting is that?"
The class began its lively chatter, surprised to hear that there was a new student transferring in. I wouldn't be surprised, actually. It's only February, so it's not too late to transfer in or out.
So Mr. Brooks went on about something I wasn't listening to before saying, "Come in, Finn Weldon."
Some girls dreamily sighed and I just continued to stare at those lovely pair of ice blue eyes.
"Hey, I'm Finn Weldon."
He carried himself well, I noticed, but I couldn't help but realize the cold aura he was slightly giving. Or was that something all the new kids carried out?
"He's so handsome!" Britney squealed in front of me.
I was trying to count how many people already claimed him as their crush. Probably more than five from this class.
After he was seated two rows behind me, class continued from where it was left off.
~~~
Amy was assigned to show Finn around, since she was one of the student council students and our class's counsellor.
It was finally lunch time and Jessica and I were having fun talking about Bradley's old pictures, since she managed to get them from his mom. I had a feeling Bradley's mom liked Jessica as much as I did. We did have a lot of things in common.
Jessica went on about when those pictures were taken and the both of us kept laughing at how cute he used to look back then. It was a good thing he wasn't anywhere near here or he'd get mad. But I knew Bradley. He wasn't the type who stays mad forever. I'm his childhood friend for a reason, of course I knew things.
After lunch ended, as well as our other subjects, I was glad enough to hear the last bell finally ring. Everyone began packing up their things and left the classroom, one by one or all at once with their friends.
I noticed a few girls following Finn around but when he went a different way, they seemed upset but went along to where they were going.
Funny, he seemed to be walking in the same direction as I was. Holding the opportunity, I quickly caught up to him and blocked his path while smiling at him.
"Hello," I greeted, extending my hand out for him to shake it.
Finn just stared at me without any emotions on his face whatsoever and it made an awkward atmosphere surround us ever so slightly.
Slightly clearing my throat and giving him another smile, I retrieved back my hand. "I'm Natalie Cosgrove. Nice to meet you, classmate."
Finn nodded, acknowledging my name and introduction before walking past me.
I stood there, standing before letting out a scoff and turned around to look at Finn's back. "That kid. What, did I smell weird or something?"
I tried to sniff myself to identity any out of place odour but there were none. So I looked ahead at Finn's body, that was still slightly visible from afar. Fixing the strap of my backpack tightly onto my shoulder, I took off the catch up to the kid.
Past the empty streets of the neighborhood, I was even surprised I was able to catch up to Finn. I was never good in running in the first place, so this was a surprise.
"Fi... Finn, right?" I was breathing heavily and couldn't calm down. "Wait, give me a moment to breathe."
"And who are you?"
When I looked up, a saw how Finn looked at me. I couldn't help but notice his eyebrows raised at me. That made me frown at him. "I'm your classmate. The girl who sits two seats in front of you."
Finn's eyes squinted as he tried to remember my face, or at least my hair. I was the only girl in his row with blonde, curly hair so surely, he must be able to remember me.
In the end, Finn threw a shrug and said, "Nope, sorry."
"Fine. Hi! I'm Natalie Cosgrove and I'm your classmate." I gave him a warm smile. This time, I wasn't going to offer a handshake, since he dismissed the first one.
"Finn Weldon. Nice to meet you," Fin said without any enthusiasm whatsoever before he walked away.
I quickly rushed ahead so that we'd walk abreast each other.
Finn eyed me weirdly before raising an eyebrow as he asked, "Are you following me? Some stalker of mine, Natalie?"
It was hilarious to think I was following him home or something so I ended up laughing. "Me? Following you? You're out of your mind, Finn Weldon. I'm not following you, in case you're wondering. I'm just walking back home."
"You live this way too?" Finn seemed amused and surprised all at once but it didn't last long because those bit of emotions immediately melted away and his face became expressionless once again.
"Yes," I answered.
Finn didn't even try to continue the conversation so I didn't, either. The way back home seemed so quiet so I started the conversation again.
"What's your favourite colour?" I asked out of nowhere.
Finn absent mindly replied, "Blue."
"Same!" I lifted my hand for a high five but Finn completely ignored me, as if he didn't see my gesture. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Are you hitting on me?"
The question came out very directly and I was taken aback for a second. I stared at him for a few more seconds before lightly punching his shoulder.
"Please, I'm not the type who hit on people. I don't even know how to do it. It's okay, you don't have to answer the question. I'm not forcing you to. It's your own decision whether or not toㅡ"
"No."
"What was that? I didn't hear you. You were mumbling."
Finn stopped in his tracks and mustered enough courage to look into my eyes and repeated, "No. I don't have a girlfriend nor would I ever. They're gold diggers and I don't see what there is to like. It's absolutely useless."
"Agreed, buddy. We have so much in common. I have a feeling we'll be good friends."
Finn's eyes slowly softened by my words and it dazzled me for a second. "Oh, well, I better get going home. How come you're still with me?"
"Home, Finn. I'm going home too," I reminded him, suppressing a laughter. In the next second, we've reached my neighborhood and any second now, I'd reach my house. "Oh, here's my house. Well, see you tomorrow, Finn."
As I stood by the porch of my house, I couldn't help but point out the widened eyes Finn had on his face after knowing that it was my house. I actually thought something was wrong and he nearly convinced me thinking it wasn't my house. I even checked twice.
After staying silent for nearly two minutes, Finn's hand raised and pointed at my house and asked me, "This is your house?"
"Yes, and I hope this isn't some prank because I just met you today andㅡ"
Finn pointed at the house next door, the one Mr. Walter lived inㅡ I mean, used to live in. "Because I live next door."
~Author's Notes~
Message from @QueenMichelsa: boy, this sure was a long chapter! How was it? Do you like Finn? I hope you're finding this to your liking because I enjoy writing this, hehe :) don't forget to leave a loving vote and your lovely comments down below, wonderful people! :)))) have a nice day/night! <333
holy sweet jinsol this was a long chapter even for me ugh I have no idea how @QueenMichelsa does this so fast.
PS: She's already working on the next chapter, believe it or not :O
Editing this took longer than I expected wow
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter~♡♥