Chapter 17
"Tammy it's not my fault your man doesn't give you enough attention at home. Maybe talk to him about that, so you can actually get some dick and stop masturbathing to your expensive clothes." —Angel
Two Months Later...
"Who are we waiting on?" Nicole asked, putting on red lipstick.
Kianna sighs, slipping her blue pumps on. "Tammy, who else?"
Kianna, Nicole, Tammy and I were going to the clinic for the appointment for my baby. I was now five months pregnant, so it was hard to hide it from them. They learned about it a little after I temporarily moved in with Kianna and Capri. I lied to them and they believe Money knew. I didn't want anybody too much in my business.
I haven't been to the clinic since the first time which was horrible, but I was terrified of going back after what happened. The girls were coming with me for support just to have someone there and because they knew what happened all those months ago. I really appreciated it. I knew I'd have some explaining to do when Money returned, but for now he wasn't here.
I roll my eyes and get up from the couch, "I'll go get her." I walk to the bathroom door in the hallway and give it a hard knock, "Tammy, we're ready to go!"
"Okay, just one minute!" She yelled back.
She'd been in there for forty five minutes and it wasn't even her house. She came from her place already dressed like she was going to walk on the runway. Yet was still locked up in Kianna's bathroom trying to look extra cute. She did a lot for a woman who wasn't trying to get a man on the side.
When I return to the living room, Kianna stands up. "How I look girl?"
I look over the teal blue clip-ons mixed into her wavy black hair. She was wearing a light blue romper, with tan wedges that had blue straps around her ankles. Shimmery lips gloss was on her full lips and she sported gold bangle earrings with her name written across the earring in script.
"Okay miss Sexy, slow it down before Capri come out here and catch a fit."
Nicole and I laugh as she waves me off. I made sure to keep my outfit simple today. A white button up shirt and some jeans. I was past my bump stage and it was obvious I was pregnant. I was going to learn the gender today. I was really excited wondering what the sex was going to be.
If it was a boy I could imagine he and Money being attached at the hip and our little baby wanting to be just like his daddy. If it was a girl I could picture him spoiling her. Giving her cookies when I tell him not too and her giving me attitude because I was hogging her daddy. I was blushing so hard I was sure I was looking crazy.
The bathroom door opens and Tammy finally comes out. She wore a short blonde bob style. It looked good with her skin tone, though. Her Vera Wang dress swept the floor and I couldn't see her shoes because the dress covered it.
We all grabbed our handbags and headed toward the door. The girls and I had become real close over time. I loved hanging out with them because they had become the first female friends I had. The first friends I had, in general. Going to the ultrasound wouldn't be as fun as I hoped it would be, because I rather Money be there with me. But that couldn't be the case so I was grateful for who I did have with me.
The women all rode their own cars here, but we all get in Kianna's Porsche 911 Turbo Cabriolet. It was customized with blue rims. If you didn't know her personally you could still guess what her favorite color was.
The car ride was quiet for a while, until Nicole started telling us about some juicy drama going on in her neighborhood. Something about two neighbors feuding because the son of one neighbor is suspected of secretly dating the other neighbor's daughter, who's underaged. When that conversation died down, the girls began to ask me about the baby.
"So what do you hope the gender of the baby is?" Nicole asks. I twist my lips to the side, never having really thought about it.
"I don't really care, as long as the baby is healthy. But I have a feeling it's a girl." I say going based off a dream I had a while ago. It was me and this random little girl in a park. She was about six years old so I assumed it was a hint of it being my daughter in the future.
Tammy who of course always has to be in the front seat, even when she's not driving, turns around in the passenger seat and looks at me. "Hm. Can you imagine Money being a father? I mean, he's just so disrespectful. He cheated on you and acted like he didn't care, which is the reason your living with Kianna right now. What kind of man treats a woman he really loves that way? And you seem so happy to have his baby."
The whole car got silent, only the sound of cars flying by in the opposite direction as we passed. I see Kianna and her share a look, but Tammy shrugged like it was nothing and started humming a song under her breath.
I was embarrassed but also annoyed. I knew Tammy could be really bitchy and condescending, but who made comments like that?
"Don't worry about her, she didn't mean it like that." Nicole said next to me, lightly touching my shoulder.
"No it's okay, I think she meant it exactly like that. Money hasn't been the best person in the world these last few months, you're right. That doesn't mean hurt our child because he hurt me. I'm sorry but my baby has nothing to do with what his father did, so yes I am proud to have his baby and he's gonna be a fine father even if he needs to work on being a spouse." I say. Which was a complete lie, because he didn't even want the baby. And if these women found out my own husband didn't want a baby with me, they'd never let me live it down.
The car regained it's silence but I was so annoyed I had to say something else.
"Not all of us grew up being spoiled bitches, Tammy."
"Okay, okay. Girls!" Nicole said.
Tammy just giggled but didn't say anything else.
I pull out my cellphone just to occupy myself with something. I don't know if it was the hormones but I felt like reaching up front and grabbing the steering wheel just to see if Tammy would still be laughing. Fucking bitch, I thought. I go back to my phone to cool myself down. I stare at some pictures of Money and I. They were older pictures of when we were teenagers. I have some from when we were as young as twelve and fourteen.
I smiled and bit my bottom lip. We looked so happy, back then is when Money had stolen us our first cellphone ever. It was a Motorola flip phone. I had transferred all those pictures to my new phone once we started to get on our feet a little with doing stickups and was able to buy new things.
I smile at this one picture in particular. I remember it so clearly. We had first started running the streets and had nowhere to go. On this day, Money left me in the park to go get us something to eat. I was by the swing set taking pictures in my dirty white t-shirt and bright red leggings.
I had the camera far enough to where I could get a whole shot of my body. When I was about to take the picture, someone smacked my leg scaring me half to death. My finger ended up clicking the button so when I looked at the photo; it was an image of me making one of the ugliest faces from being scared half to death and Money in the background.
There was another picture with Money and I's cheeks plastered next to each other. If I remember clearly, I was sitting on his lap in a public library. Adults kept passing and shaking their heads, we probably looked really fresh. We took one like that, cheek to cheek. Then another with me holding his face, kissing his cheek with one of his eyes closed.
I slide the picture over and come across one of my favorite ones. In this one we actually had somebody take the picture for us. I was in the air on Money's shoulders, I was fourteen. It was his idea to hoist me up on his shoulders. He was so scrawny back then and swore he was so strong.
I missed those times of us so much back then, Money and I were inseparable. And now that I think about it our relationship did change—and not for the better. I never thought there would come a time Money and I would be separated. But there was clearly something going on with him and he needed to figure himself out. I refused to be around him while he was battling out whatever inner demons he had.
"We're here." Kianna announces.
I immediately thought back to the shooting. It made me think of Kareem who was at Kianna's house. One of the very same people who was apart of the crew that wanted my head. He was living with us but we kept it from Money, knowing he would overreact. He had a reason too, but after seeing the boy was only fifteen, I wasn't as angry as I should've been. It may have been because I was going to be a mom so seeing Kareem Wyatt was only a child himself, made me soften up.
He was a nice kid. At first he was distant and rude, but he started to open up. I even found out little stuff about him, like how he couldn't read and he had no family except his Savage Boy crew. So I had been teaching him how to read over the last two months and he had somewhat become like a little brother to me.
We all sit in the waiting room as I continue to go over old footage on my phone. This is footage of when Money and I had just moved into the house so we were walking around recording the rooms and how they looked. We had no friends to show the video too anyway, but we were bored and had nothing better to do. Money was the one doing the taping and now I noticed he was taping my behind most of the video instead of the house. It makes me giggle. Typical Money.
I was most likely being too loud because it caught Tammy's attention, "What are you doing? Reminiscing on old times with the dirty dog?"
"Tammy it's not my fault your man doesn't give you enough attention at home. Maybe talk to him about that, so you can actually get some dick and stop masturbathing to your expensive clothes."
This time none of the women said anything, they were probably really embarrassed. Tammy kept her ass shut, but before long she left to say she was going to wait in the car. Even better for me, I was going to stop using words and show her what type of female I was. If her husband explained what Money and I did before we linked up with them, I bet she'd stop talking so much shit.
Nicole left to go after her, so it was just Kianna and I left. I had no problems at this point if she wanted to go with them too. Nobody was telling her to shut up before, but I say one thing and she wants to walk off like a dramatic bitch.
Another five minutes past before a doctor came and called me. Kianna and I followed her into one of the rooms.
"You can get on the examination table, sweetheart." She said. Kianna sat on the chair in the corner. The doctor came in and closed the door, then turned to face me.
I remembered her from last time, Hyun-ae. She still looked the same, except her hair was in a ponytail this time. She looks at me and squints her eyes.
"You've been here before, am I right? I remember the name." Before I could answer, she snaps her fingers, "Yes, yes. You're miss young and in love." She smiles.
I smile too. "Something like that."
"Why haven't you come back since the last time you were here? That's bad honey. Your last visit was when you found out you were pregnant. That was four months ago, you're suppose to come back daily to make sure everything is okay with the baby." She lectures.
"Sorry." I didn't know what else to say.
"Last time you were here you didn't seem so sure about the pregnancy. But you still have the baby, so I'm assuming you had a change of heart. How does daddy feel about it? He's ecstatic?"
I had to force a fake smile and think something positive so I wouldn't burst out crying. "He's just as much excited as I am. He won't stop talking about the baby. Everything is baby this and baby that."
Hyun-ae puts on some blue latex gloves. "Oh, he couldn't make it to the ultrasound today?"
"No, he's working. I brought my friend though." I say motioning toward Kianna. "Kianna this is doctor Hyun-ae and doctor this is Kianna."
Doctor Hyun-ae looks shocked when she looks at Kianna. A look that said they knew each other or she was shocked by all the blue she had on.
"Do you guys know each other?" I ask looking back and forth between them. If they said no I knew it would be a lie, the way they were looking at each other, sure said they were familiar with the other one.
Kianna looks at and gives a slow shrug. "No not really. I've seen her around once or twice...mutual friend."
The doctor agreed with a head nod and put her finger up, leaving the room.
I looked at Kianna again, eyes furrowed because I wasn't sure how true that was. Maybe I was just imagining it, but I felt some animosity between them. "Do you really not know her?"
"I do, I guess you could say the hoe has something I want."
"And what's th—"
The door opens before I could continue and doctor Hyun-ae steps back into the room. "Alright Mrs. Carter, please unbutton your shirt and lay back on the table."
I unbutton my shirt like she asked and lay down. There's a small monitor in front of us. She rubs some cold gel onto my stomach and puts an even colder metal tool on top of the gel and moves it around. We all look at the monitor and it was really dark. Then it started to get clearer and I could see the shape of the baby. It looked like it was curled up in a ball just laying there.
"Okay Mrs. Carter, the gender of your baby is a healthy baby—"
"Wait!" I shout. I close my eyes for a second and wiggle around, fanning my hand excitedly. "Okay okay what is it?"
Both her and Kianna laugh at my silliness. Hyun-ae clears her throat and squints her eyes at the monitor, moving the cold metal object around a little more. "It's a baby boy."
I place my hands over my mouth in surprise. I was going to have me a little Benjamin. Hyun-ae wipes the gel off my stomach and takes her gloves off.
"One thing is that you need to relax yourself. I don't know if something or someone is upsetting you, but you're very stressed and it's affecting the baby. You're only four months pregnant, I'm sure you want your baby to be healthy by time it's time for you to deliver."
The baby's father was the one stressing me out. But instead of voicing that, I just nod my head, letting her know I would do better.
"Do you have any questions honey? Don't be afraid to ask."
"No, I'm fine." I sit up and start to button my shirt back up. "Thank you so much."
She smiles and looks at Kianna on her way out the room. And I swear I saw doctor Hyun-ae roll her eyes.
*******
Back at the house I couldn't stop obsessing over the picture of the baby I got from the sonogram. I only managed to peel myself away from it because it was six in the evening and it was usually around the time I brought Kareem out of his room to practice reading.
Everyone else went back home so it was Kianna, Kareem, Capri and I. Capri was somewhere in the house, in his room or the basement most likely and I knew Kianna was with him. She reminded me of myself when it came to Money. Always under her husband. I guess I noticed that so quickly because Money wasn't here for me to be under.
I put the picture under my pillow and got off the bed, walking into the living room. Kareem was on the couch, watching videos as usual. Some weird Japanese cartoon with a white haired demon who travelled around with a half human half fox boy, a high school girl, a monk and a girl with a large boomerang. It was entertaining to me, but not that entertaining the way he religiously watched it.
I take a seat next to him, holding the third grade level book in my hand. He just glances at it but doesn't say anything. I twist my lips to the side. "We won't read a lot, only five pages today? Sounds good?" I ask.
I know this must've been weird for him, it was weird for me. Being so close to someone who could have potentially been one of the same people that shot at me. I know Kareem was being guarded, thinking I was just trying to be nice to him to get answers. But I wasn't. I just didn't want his crew coming after Money and I anymore. I rather just get Kareem to convince his boys to drop it, I could get Money to do the same.
"Can we do this tomorrow?" He complained.
"Boy stop being lazy. You're getting better and better. It's only five pages. And think about it this way, before you know it you'll be moving onto the harder stuff."
He sighs but shuts the tv off, giving me his full attention. I smile because it meant he wanted to learn it. I couldn't force him, he didn't have to say yes, so he wanted too. "Aight, fine."
I open to the first page and place the book on his lap.
"Jerry...loves...loves his...red shirt." He stuttered, looking at me for confirmation.
I smile and nod my head and he quickly looks away from me, turning the page. He clears his throat and he seems a bit nervous. "Jerry sees..." He looks at the picture of the kid pointing at a blue ball. "sees a..."
"Sound out the words." I tell him.
"B-lu-e...blue?"
"Yes."
"Blue ball? Josh sees a blue ball?" He asks. I find it cute how he always looks at me to make sure he had it right.
"Yes." I say and I can see him trying to hide his smile. He quickly turns the page.
We sit there for at least ten minutes with him struggling through the pages. He was really trying though, some of the words he was getting by okay with, other words he was having trouble on. A lot of them he was really close to getting but I didn't want to just tell it to him, he had to learn on his own
We continue a little longer until I notice him starting to get frustrated. I decide we're done for the day, not wanting him to get mad and want to stop the whole reading thing overall. He gets up and leaves, retreating to his room. I really started to care about him even if it was only two months I've known him. He was just misguided and pulled into a world, his young eyes should have never been exposed too.
I hear a door close and see Kianna come walking down the stairs in some boy shorts and a t-shirt eating Greek yogurt. Taking a seat on the armrest of the couch, she looked at me, mixing the yogurt around with her spoon. "You an after school teacher now?"
I push a strand of hair behind my ear, "No I just feel bad for him, you know?"
She gave me a sly smile, gently pushing my arm with her hand. "I sense some Jerry Springer shit up ahead. You gonna leave Money for him?"
I sucked my teeth and stuck my middle finger up at her. "He's fifteen, he's a little boy. What I look like to you?"
"Shit, you playing! I'll rob the cradle for him, he fine as hell!"
"Rob who's cradle?" Capri suddenly said from the top of the staircase, scaring both Kianna and I.
"No one, nosey." Kianna said and we both busted out laughing.