Lauren's POV
"Hey, Lauren?" Ariana asked.
"Yeah?" I turned over to her.
"Are you doing anything tonight?"
"No," I answered.
"Okay because I want to take you somewhere."
I had just finished up my Friday therapy session. It went really great too. Sweeney and I talked about everything that had happened between Camila and I in the bathroom on Tuesday. She said she was really proud of how I handled it and so was I. I didn't do anything extra or illegal and actually handled it maturely. Sweeney said I was improving and getting better quickly which was impressive to her. I kept feeling better too and each day got easier. Soon enough, I think I'll be recovered again.
"Get in your car and I'll tell you where to go," Ariana instructed as we were outside in the parking lot.
"Wait, does Sweeney know you're coming with me?"
"Yeah," she nodded excitedly.
I wasn't too sure what we were doing but I liked being spontaneous. We got into my car and Ariana told me where to drive to. We drove for 20 minutes into downtown and eventually pulled into some sort of warehouse.
"Where the hell are we?" I softly chuckled, turning the car off.
"Just follow me," she quickly got out.
"You're not gonna torture or kill me in there are you?" I followed behind her.
"Will you hush," she rolled her eyes and knocked on the door.
"Hey, Ari, we're all ready for you," an older man opened up, greeting her.
"Thanks, Bill," she smiled and took my hand, pulling me along.
Inside it looked like we were in some kind of studio? There were different places where sets were set up and cameras. There were loads of people walking around, working on computers and some in an office.
"Um, Ariana, are you gonna tell me where we are now?" I asked looking around at everything.
"Hey, babe, ready to go today?" some blonde guy asked as we approached him.
"Yep," Ariana answered.
"Okay, Lauren, I'm here to shoot a video," Ariana finally told me. "This is Mark and he's directing it."
"Really? A video for what?" I asked.
"Just a visual for one of Ariana's songs," Mark said.
"Yeah, I recorded a new song called 'Dangerous Woman' and we're just gonna film a video for it. It's not anything major or a real music video but it's just for the label."
"And you wanted me to come?" I raised my eyebrow.
"Well, yeah I need someone to tell me if I look good," she said.
"You're too much," I chuckled.
The director led us over to the set and it looked pretty cool. It was dim and there was a couch with a curtain. I wondered what the theme was going to be.
"Okay, I'm gonna go change," Ariana told me and left. I sat down behind the set and looked at my phone in the meanwhile.
"Alright, how do I look?" Ariana walked over to me and my eyes instantly widened at her.
The brunette had on black lacy lingerie a choker and holy fuck it made me speechless. She looked so fucking hot, I couldn't believe it.
"Like it?" she spun around slowly in front of me.
"Uhh.." I stared at her up and down. "...Y-yeah you look great," I smiled, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Thanks!" she squealed and went back over to the director and crew.
Jesus Christ, when was the last time I saw someone look that sexy? Probably when Camila had on that red lingerie for Christmas. Wow, that was something. I wanted to rip that thing off her, bend her over a table and ruin her. And I did...but in a different way.
Ariana did look sexy too though. Even though she was just my friend, I had to admit that I was picturing what she looked like underneath that lingerie. I couldn't help but fantasize. But then I snapped out of it. Why did she take me here? It was a sexy video shoot and she brought me? For the past few days Ariana's still been flirty. Maybe she wasn't straight and maybe...had feelings for me or she wanted me to be attracted to her? I didn't know but it was hard not to assume that. She said she wanted me to know if she looked good and then spun around, showing off her barely clothed body. Man, everything about this was beyond me.
"Alright, we're gonna start," the director announced.
They first did a dry run through of the song and it was really good. It was called "Dangerous Woman" and was a bit edgy and more powerful than Ariana's other songs. After that, Ariana officially started and they started filming.
The video took several takes over and over and for me by the end of it, I just sat there drooling. The moves, poses, and looks she was serving were so sensual. I didn't want to think like this about my friend but she made it so damn hard not to feel hot for her. My sexual desires were going haywire and not gonna lie, I was horny as fuck. Ariana then called me over to go into the dressing room with her. Alone.
"What'd you think?" Ariana asked once we were in.
That you are incredibly sexy, I thought but of course didn't say. "It was...great," I smiled weakly.
"Really? Was I sexy enough?" she seductively purred, taking my hand and striding closer to me. "Was I a dangerous woman?" she leaned in close to my lips.
"What are you doing?" I whispered nervously. I was staring at her lips and really wanted to kiss her but I was so scared. I was in love with Camila, I couldn't do this with Ariana.
"This," she leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. I closed my eyes and felt insanely weak. I moved my lips with hers and moved in closer, resting my hand on her hip.
"Wait," I stopped suddenly. This was so wrong. I could not be doing this. Even though I was single and Camila and I were broken up, I felt like I was cheating on her. Again. I felt so dirty. "Look, Ari," I started while she had a confused look on her face. "I don't know if you like me or want me to like you or what but...I can't...do this."
"Why not?" she asked quietly.
"You're a very sweet girl and a very nice friend and I'm really sorry but I don't want to be anything more than that," I explained kindly.
"Is it because you still love Camila?"
"...Yeah," I said, looking down.
"Well, good." I looked up at her confused while she gave me a smile. Good??
"What do you mean good?"
"This was just a test for you, Lauren," she said. The fuck?!
"A test? What do you mean a test?"
"Okay, well, Margo asked me the other day to, I guess, test you. Test your sexual tendencies. You know, to see if you're still looking to hook up or if you still love Camila. She didn't tell me the reasoning part obviously but I knew about it," she winked.
"She wanted to test me?"
"Yep."
I remembered telling Sweeney that I've been feeling sexually frustrated and had tendencies to want to go ask a girl out to, you know, handle that. I haven't had sex in almost three weeks but didn't remember it and so before that, it was over a month ago. Camila and I used to have sex practically every other day since Christmas until New York, then took a short break and then got back into it. But it was amazing. Why was I such a horndog?
"So, this whole thing was a set up?" I questioned.
"Not the whole thing. The music video was real and I was always going to dress in lingerie but I thought it'd be a good way to try to seduce you. It wouldn't be so obvious," she told.
"So, you weren't trying to seduce me on purpose?"
"Well...ehh I don't know. I know I've been kind of flirty with you but I'm not used to liking girls. I'm bi so I'm interested in them but I've only dated guys."
"Oh okay. Wait, you like me?" I widened my eyes.
"I may find you attractive and I sort of...had a tiny crush on you in middle school."
"You had a crush on me? Then, why were you so mean?" I pestered.
"Because like I said, I'm not used to liking girls or making friends," she answered. "And it was only in middle school."
"Oh, so you don't like me anymore," I chuckled, pouting playfully.
"No," she did her signature eye roll. "Just know that you've passed the test. You would've gotten an A+ if you didn't kiss me but you got an A. See? You can handle your sexual tendencies."
"I guess...but I still miss Camila...and her body," I frowned slightly.
"Then get her back."
"I want to and I'm trying but I have to get better first. And so does she."
Ariana gave a sympathetic look. "You know, there's another party that the company's throwing tomorrow night?"
"Yeah, but I'm not gonna go. You know I can't be around alcohol or weed."
"I know but don't worry, there's not gonna be any alcohol there," she said.
"Wait, really?"
"Well, there might be but it's at Jai and Luke's house and they aren't really into drinking or drugs so they're not supplying anything."
"But it's gonna be BYOB."
"Yeah, but there's also gonna be a stage where people can sing. It's not going to be a rager or anything. It's actually gonna be pretty chill," she explained.
"Really?" This never happened or well, I've never been to a party like that.
"Yes," she chuckled. "You should come, it'll be fun. I know your friends are and I can help you with the drinking but there's not going to be much of it. I'll be your friend right by you anyway," she gave me an assuring smile.
I thought about it some more. I knew Normani, Brad, Dinah, Ally, Justin, Shawn, and even Camila were going but could I handle it? I wanted to go but could I handle being around alcohol again even though I knew it wouldn't be a real rager? Well, I did at the party in the beginning of the year. Maybe I could and with the help and support of my friends, I could probably manage.
But then again, Camila will be there as well. Oh man, every time I saw her I felt like running over to her, crushing her into a hug. I wanted to be with her so badly but we still couldn't. Since the bathroom incident, she's given me soft smiles every once in a while and I thought that would make my heart feel better but it actually made it worse. Knowing that her feelings were still there for me, killed me even more because I thought there was still hope, no, there was still hope. There was still hope for us to one day find each other again and start over.
"Okay, I'll go," I nodded. I needed to go out and have fun again. Camila will be there but maybe I could turn the hope I still had for us into something to look forward to. And it would be a good test for me to be around alcohol and drugs and not give in. I could do it.
__________________________
The next day, Saturday, I drove to the party with Ariana in the passenger seat. We rehearsed the song we were going to sing for the party called "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House. We both liked the song a lot and really liked the lyrics. It was fun singing with Ari.
We pulled onto the side of the street of the Brooks brothers neighborhood and walked into their house. And it was actually pretty chill like how Ariana said it would be. It was only the theater company and some other friends. It wasn't too much at all.
"Hey, you guys made it," Brad smiled, walking over to us.
"Hi, Brad," Ariana smiled.
"Hey, yeah, I'm glad I decided to come with Ari. Looks great in here," I said, looking around.
"Yeah, it's nice and not too over the top. Or else I wouldn't have come," he chuckled.
"Me neither," I shook my head.
"Want me to get you guys anything? They have like punch, fizzy drinks, and lemonade."
"Fizzy drinks?" I teased his British vocabulary.
"Fine, soda," he rolled his eyes.
"I'll have a Sprite," I said.
"And I'll have a coke," Ariana chimed.
"Coming right up," he went to go get us the drinks.
"Hey, Ralph," Dinah greeted as we walked over to her, Normani, Justin, Shawn, Troye, and Camila.
"Hey, guys," I half smiled.
"Are you gonna sing anything?" Normani asked us.
"Yeah, Ari and I are gonna sing 'Don't Dream It's Over,'" I answered.
"Oh, I love that song!" Dinah exclaimed excitedly.
"Alright, who's next to sing something?" Luke announced from the small stage in the middle of the living room.
"Do you wanna go?" Ariana asked me.
"Sure," I nodded and we went up on the stage.
Camila's POV
To be honest, I wasn't expecting to see Lauren here. I mean, if she did come that wouldn't mean I wouldn't have, but I was surprised. This party was low-key but was still a party with a few alcoholic beverages some people have brought. But you know what? I was actually pleasantly surprised she showed up.
Ever since what happened on Tuesday in the bathroom, I thought a lot. I thought night and day about Lauren and I and who we were. I realized how much different we were, then how much similar, then the whole reason of this situation. And she knew what it was too.
It was crazy to think about where Lauren and I started and where we ended up. And I realized...that this couldn't be the end. I knew what happened a little while ago wasn't the end but something in my head was also saying that it should be. I don't know why but it was like my heart and mind were fighting this whole time while her and I were split. At one point, I was so sad and wanted her back but then I thought that we couldn't or it wasn't our time. And that was true.
We needed to break up because we both had problems we needed to deal with. I needed to deal with my parents and now I know that I should've done that long before I developed romantic feelings for Lauren. I've learned now and I'm getting through it. I'm still getting through everything that happened beyond that. And so is Lauren. Lauren's been getting the help she needs for things that she said weren't just about us but for other things. She's had other issues before me that she was working out. And I felt really glad for her.
I'm also glad and grateful for what happened in the bathroom. I let go of all my frustration for her and maybe she has too. We needed that conversation badly or else my mind and heart would've never made a decision. I'm glad she stepped in and talked to me. The song was of course awful to her but then again it was a beautiful mistake. Like I said, it helped and healed me and she knew that now, even though we both knew in the end, it could've gone better.
But this whole thing was just us being teenagers and figuring out our lives. She and I both had baggage that we needed to deal with. That's what it really was. Everything bad that had happened that ended out relationship, traced back to our personal problems that weren't fully dealt with. My parents and her addiction/other things. We've said and done nasty and regretful things to each other but like she said, we're not perfect especially as young adults. We're still learning and growing and handling our problems in our own ways. And one of the ways was that we had to be apart. That's what we did and we're still going through that. But there is hope and now I believed that.
"This song is one of my favorites and I think also for Ariana as well," Lauren said into the microphone on stage. "This is 'Don't Dream It's Over by Crowded House and I wanna dedicate this song to a very special person that will always be in my heart."
"It's for you," Dinah whispered to me and I laughed.
[Ariana:]
There is freedom within
there is freedom without
Try to catch a deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're traveling with me
[CHORUS]
[Lauren:]
Hey now, hey now
[Ariana:]
Don't dream it's over
[Lauren:]
Hey now, hey now
[Ariana:]
When the world comes in
[Lauren;]
They come, they come
[Both:]
To build a wall between us
[Ariana:]
And we know they won't win
Lauren was mostly looking at me the whole time and my heart swelled so much.
[Lauren:]
Now I'm towing my car
there's a hole in the roof
my possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
in the paper today
tales of war and of waste
but you turn right over to the T.V. page
[CHORUS]
[Lauren:]
Hey now, hey now
[Ariana:]
Don't dream it's over
[Lauren:]
Hey now, hey now
[Ariana:]
When the world comes in
[Lauren;]
They come, they come
[Both:]
To build a wall between us
[Ariana:]
And we know they won't win
[Ariana:]
Now I'm walking again
to the beat of a drum
[Lauren:]
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
[Ariana:]
Only shadows ahead
barely clearing the roof
[Lauren:]
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief
[CHORUS]
[Lauren:]
Hey now, hey now
[Ariana:]
Don't dream it's over
[Lauren:]
Hey now, hey now
[Ariana:]
When the world comes in
[Lauren;]
They come, they come
[Ariana:]
To build a wall between us
[Both:]
And we know they won't win
Hey now, Hey now
Hey now, Hey now
Hey, now, hey
"Wow," I breathed, wiping a few tears from my eyes. That was so beautiful and she was so beautiful. After she finished she smiled at me, making me smile back. It really wasn't over and I wasn't going to dream that it was either.
Lauren's POV
I got off the stage with a smile on my face. I sang that song for Camila from the very bottom of my heart.
"Nice job, Lo," Normani high-fived me.
"Thanks," I grinned.
"Amazing. Oh and here's your Sprite," Brad handed me the can.
"Thanks, man."
I turned toward Camila who just gave me a soft smile and nod which I did in return. We then carried on enjoying the party, talking, dancing, and listening to other people sing. It was a fun time until I went upstairs to use the restroom.
"Please, get off of me!" I heard a familiar voice coming from around the corner. Camila.
"Come on, just come into the room," another voice said.
I quickly turned the corner and saw Camila with some guy forcing himself on her. I immediately went over and pushed him away, punching him in the jaw which knocked him out.
"Get the fuck away from her!" I yelled as his jaw met with my fist.
"Lauren," Camila whispered and surprisingly enough wrapped her arms around my waist, hugging me. My eyes widened at the feelings of her warm embrace but I quickly leaned down, hugging her back tightly.
"Are you okay?" I asked still concerned.
"Yeah," she pulled away. "How did you know where I was?"
"I didn't. I came up here to use the bathroom, I heard your voice that sounded like you were in danger and I rushed over here immediately."
"Oh," she half smiled. "Well, thank you. Thank you so much. I don't even know who that drunk guy is. I was up here to do the same thing you were when he just came out of nowhere."
"No problem. I don't know him either but...I'll always be here when you need help," I grinned shyly.
She nodded, "I really appreciate it." We fell into a short awkward silence.
"Well, I'll let you use the bathroom and I'll see you around," I slowly started walking back.
"Okay, yeah I'll see you," she nodded.
Camila's POV
After what Lauren did for me, I was shocked. Not shocked by her kindness but shocked that she would do that much for me. I mean, she knocked that guy out and it was one of the nicest, bravest and not gonna lie, hottest thing anyone's ever done for me. It made me think more about us. Even though we were still broken up, Lauren was still there. She was still there by my side, looking out for and protecting me.
It made me feel pretty guilty actually since I still wanted to be broken up when all she's been wanting to do was fight to get me back. She's been fixing herself and getting better for us. My heart and mind were going to fight again but now they were getting tired. I've seen both sides and I have left my heart out of it for the most art, but now I really just want to follow it.
"Hey, there you are," Dinah said as I walked over to her. "Where were you?"
"Dinah, something happened upstairs," I said.
"What happened?" she asked concerned.
"Well, I was walking to use the bathroom and then some guy was like up there and he was just basically complimenting me in a rude way and then came over and pushed me into a wall, trying to kiss my neck and stuff."
"Oh my fucking gosh! Well, what happened? Where is he? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine now but Lauren saw and heard me and then pushed him off and punched him to knock him out," I explained.
"Lauren?" she smirked.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"Yass Lauren! Coming to save her girl!" she clapped very happily. "Awww. But you're really okay now, right?"
"Yeah, Jai and Luke are getting rid of him now."
"Okay, good. So, what did Lauren say?" Dinah questioned. "Like upstairs to you?"
I sighed softly. "She said that...she'd be here when I need help," I smiled.
"That's my Camren!" she squealed. "You might wanna also read this," Dinah pulled a folded up piece of loose leaf paper out of her pocket. "Lauren wrote it," she gave it to me.
"Wait, do I read it?" I took it from her.
"Well, it's about you," she said leaving me alone to read it.
I didn't know if I should read it because this was probably a private thing that Lauren wrote. But I really wanted to especially if it was about me. I went to go sit down on one of the couches and opened up the paper. There were actually more than sheets than just one. I read:
When Camila and I were in the bathroom, so many thoughts were happening in my brain. I was so angry at her at first, then just hurt, then angry again, then sorrowful, and then...a little happy.
I couldn't believe the things she said to me in the middle of the argument. Especially how I wasn't mature enough to handle things without therapy. I was furious with her. But I think I handled it very well actually. I came back with something a little better than lashing out and just saying "fuck you." And in the end it worked. She apologized and I came around too.
I finally got to apologize to Camila and tell her I still loved her. I wanted this girl so much it hurt. Ever since I first laid eyes on her last summer, I knew from then. I didn't know I would fall but she immediately took my breath away and was something so special. I needed her in my life and when I had her, it was like I found my purpose again. I'll never stop saying that she made me a better person. A person who's heart had grown a few sizes and made her forget all the stupid shit she ever did. Camila did that for me.
I was so unhappy for so long until she came into my life. I've always hated cold, dreary, and rainy weather and when Camila wasn't in my life that's how I looked at the world all the time. But when I met her, the sun came out, changing my mood in an instant. The world was so sunny, happy and full of life. She was my sun, my source of happiness and energy. Who would've thought that I would meet someone who had this much of an impact on my life in the best way. Camila was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm not even exaggerating. I couldn't even describe how she makes me feel because it's so impossible to. This whole school year, she's made me feel things that I didn't know I was capable of. It's every feeling out there. But the best feeling was unconditional and everlasting love. I loved everything about her and from the very beginning probably till the very end. My heart refused to tell me otherwise.
Even though Keana's made me believe in a way that I didn't want to settle down, I did want to now. For the first time in my life I wanted to be with someone I could have a life and grow old with. Camila was that someone. She was the only girl that I wanted it with. Hearing her talk about her dream wedding, dream house, dream car, kids, career, was music to my ears and I could to listen to her for hours. And I imagined myself by her side whenever she would speak about it. I made a mental note of everything she wanted. First, we would live in Harlem with the other girls while attending NYU, then get married on a beach here in Miami, then, live in Soho or Tribeca (if we got rich), then the Hampton's with our two cats, three kids, and her red camaro. Everything sounded perfect to me as well and I would stop at nothing to make sure her dream became a reality.
I just loved her. Not the middle and high school love that's not real and only lasts for a short time but genuinely loved. I never wanted to lose her and everyday since we split, no matter how much I was trying to heal and move on, I was hoping to not. I mean, I want to heal but I didn't want to move on. I'm still gonna fight for that future.
I'll never stop loving her. No matter how many arguments and fights we have, I'll never give up. No matter how much her and I hurt each other, I'll never deny or regret my love. We've only been together for three months but I believed our love was for so much longer. It was the best three fucking months I've ever had and never would I have had it better with someone else. I refused to let it go and something in me could tell that we would find our way back to each other. The bathroom incident proved it. She still had feelings for me and I was going to prove myself over and over again for her to realize we are meant to be. I know we are meant to be. I have hope now more than ever that we will be forever. And when she's realized that too and is ready, I'll be here waiting with open arms.
I began to cry again during the middle of the paper and throughout till the end. What was I doing? Lauren is so love with me and just waiting for me to come back home into her arms. And...I love her too. I couldn't wait anymore, I'm too tired. This was the time to really go talk to her and if I don't do this now, I don't know when I will again.
"Dinah, where's Lauren?!" I walked over to my best friend frantically.
"I think she just left," she answered.
"Shit," I rushed past her.
"Wait, Walz, where you going?" she stopped me.
"I'm going to get her back," I stated then ran off.
"Yay! Go get your Lolo! Camren lives!" I heard Dinah squeal behind me. She's been waiting a long time for this.
"Lauren!!" I yelled once I was outside, looking at the street to see if she was still here.
"Yeah?" I heard a voice close by. It was actually Lauren herself sitting down on a bench on the front porch.
"Oh, there you are," I slowly walked toward her.
"Hey," she said softly, looking down at her hands.
"What are you doing out here? Dinah said you left," I sat down next to her.
"I was going to but just decided to sit down and think," she said.
"What are you thinking about?"
"...You," she lightly chuckled.
"Good things I hope," I smiled teasingly, making her as well.
"Just a lot of things. For me, there's nothing else to really think about."
"I...um...I read this," I got the pieces of loose leaf Lauren had written on out of my pocket.
"What is it?" she took it and opened it. "Wait," she lightly panicked and reached into her jacket pocket. "Fuck," she whisper yelled, turning to me. "Who gave this to you?"
"Dinah," I chuckled. Oops, probably wasn't supposed to read it.
"Dinah," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "I'm gonna get her so bad. I think this fell out of my pocket and she found it."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have read it. Dinah just gave it to me, telling me you wrote it and it was about me. I'm really sorry, Lauren," I apologized.
"It's...it's fine," she stuffed the papers away back in her bomber jacket pocket and zipped it up.
"Lauren?" I inched a bit closer to her.
"Yeah?" she mumbled still not looking at me.
"Is that how you really feel?"
She just stayed silent for a moment then looked at me, trying to come up with words. "...Yeah," she whispered. "I mean, obviously. I said I'd fight for us and I still am."
"And whenever I'm ready, then you'll be waiting for me with open arms?" I asked and she nodded.
"Well...what if I told you I was ready?" I whispered.
"W-what?" she looked at me confused.
"I've missed you so much, Lauren. I know I'm the one who's always saying that we need more time but I can't live another moment without you. I finally know that now.
And I realized that I've never apologized for all the mean shit I've said. On Valentine's day, the stairwell, and in the bathroom. I've never been great at holding my tongue and aggression back and just lash out and don't think before I speak which is so awful. I really regret doing all that shit, it was totally unacceptable and unnecessary. You had problems I never knew of and that was so unfair for me to treat you like that. I mean, we did need to break up and learn but I've been getting through my problems too and I've realized the only thing I need to get over is you but I don't want to and neither do you. It's true...we are meant to be. So, I'm ready if you are. I want you back, Lauren Jauregui. No, I need you back," I stressed.
"Oh, wow," she sighed, "you're ready? Now?"
"I mean, yeah I think so."
"I can't believe I'm saying this...but now I'm the one saying we need more time."
"B-but I thought you'd be waiting?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Well, I didn't know you'd come back so soon," she chuckled. I grew confused, what did she mean? "Look, Camila, I obviously really really really want to be with you too but for me, I don't think I'm still ready. I know I said I'd be waiting but I'm not completely...fixed."
"What do you still need help with?" I asked.
"Well, you, the alcohol and weed."
"I'm here now and we can be together. And the alcohol and weed, you should soon be over that, right?"
"I mean, I haven't been doing that but I still crave it. I was an addict and it's still gonna take time for me to recover. That was one of the reasons I just left this party actually. I saw a few beers and mixed drinks and that stressed me out a little bit."
"But Lauren, you'll recover very soon. I'm okay with that," I put my hand on her shoulder.
"I know but I want to be one hundred percent for you. You deserve the best, Camz," she shyly smiled.
"You called me Camz," I smiled. "I missed that."
"I missed calling you that. But yeah, I fought for you but I'm still fighting for myself."
"So, you still need time?"
"Yeah, but maybe we can still make this work in some way. We can be...friends."
"Friends," I widened my eyes a little.
"Yeah, after all we need a restart, Camz. We can't go back into how things were before even though before Valentine's day we had a good relationship. But now we're clearing everything out. We're clearing out all the secrets and all the issues. So, we should start over," she said.
I thought about it for a second but then agreed that she had a great point. Lauren and I definitely needed to start over. This was going to be a new us.
"You're right. I feel like we've learned a lot in the past three weeks and have changed," I told.
"We have," she agreed.
"So, we're just friends. What does that entail?"
"I love you," she fully faced me and took my hand in hers. "I will always love you, Camila, and I will stand by those words for...probably till the day I die." So, she says that to me but wants to be friends?? "But I'm gonna need some more time to be with you again when I feel like I can be myself in how you deserve me. I want to be the best I can be for you. A person who has no desire to do dumb shit and can be in a place and state of mind that is healthy and happy again. And I'm getting there. There's no doubt I'm trying my hardest but I will get there and I'll be ready full force, I promise."
Wow, Lauren really has changed...again. She's become very responsible for her behavior. Not to say that she wasn't before but even more so now and that really impressed me. She really wanted and strived to be the best for herself and for me. She wanted to be someone that I deserved but in all honesty it was like I didn't deserve her. I've said that before and I'll say it again, Lauren was perfect. Funny how we said the other day that no one was perfect but Lauren was at least perfect for me. The perfect girlfriend. She was the one. My one true love. The love of my life.
"I love you too," I said softly, looking into her eyes. Her eyes widened immediately and my heart swelled and melted at the same time. I missed those cute little faces she made.
"Y-you do?" she looked almost scared which I laughed at.
"Of course I do. I've never stopped." I could go on and on telling her how much and that I too could see myself marrying her but we'll save that till she's ready to get back together. I've said too much already and I think it was killing both of us. But I'm glad I told her and she definitely liked it.
"Me neither," her face fell into that adorable smile that I just wanted to kiss so badly.
"I want to kiss you so bad right now but we should wait on that," I said. "Friends don't do that," I chuckled.
"I want to too...so much but yeah we'll wait. Soon though."
"And I'll be waiting," I grinned. "Oh and I really liked the song you sang for me."
"'Don't Dream It's Over?'" she raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, the song you dedicated to me? It was dedicated to me, right?"
"No? That was for Normani," she said.
"Wait," I shook my head.
"I'm just kidding, Camzi," she grabbed both of my hands, laughing. "That was definitely for you."
"Oh my God. Lauren's got jokes," I rolled my eyes.
"Some things never change," she smiled proudly.
A/N: Yay Camren's reviving!!! Things are getting better 😊
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