Let's find some beautiful place to get lost.
March 28, 2012
On The Road Again
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Gina said, the venom dripping from her evil smile.
"You can't win!" I yelled. "We'll always love each other." Tears fell from my eyes and I swiped them away.
"We? Who's we?" She took a step towards me.
"Me and Harry. I'll always love him, and he'll always love me." More tears fell from my eyes and I shook my head.
"But there's no... He." She smiled before opening the closet door to show that Harry had hung himself with a-
"Harry!" I shrieked, jerking up and realizing that I was in a small space. You're in a car Anastasia. Calm the fuck down.
Then I saw Harry scramble from his feet outside of the door and open the driver's door, "Are you okay? What's wrong? What happened?" He was completely panicked.
I swallowed, "I'm fine. I just... Had a nightmare." I shook my head and he let out a deep breath.
He put the pump back on the gas machine and got in the car, "You scared the hell out of me. I thought something had happened to you." He took a deep breath and started the car.
I looked around and realized that we weren't in Missouri anymore, "Where are we?" I asked, looking at him.
"We're in Kansas. We're not even half way there." He laughed and I sat back.
"Why didn't we take a plane?" I asked and he smiled.
"I thought it would be more fun to travel together. You know, so we could visit different states and stuff." He grabbed my hand before pulling out of the gas station.
"So. What did Gina say whenever she saw us leaving?" I looked at the trees and he cleared his throat.
"She didn't say anything. I doubt she knows that we left. She was too busy crying about how awful her son is and how he tried to kill her with a riding crop," he rolled his eyes and my mouth dropped, "Exactly. Gina is so full of shit that she can't even get her story right. And the bad thing is, everyone believed her except for Penelope."
I frowned at the sound of her name. "You know, she really loves you."
He returned the frown and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "I don't give a fuck who she loves." He gave a curt shake of his head and I sighed.
"At least give her some credit for actually falling in love with you-"
"Are you actually telling me to give her credit? You're the one who hates her, remember? If anything, you should be whining about how much you hate her instead talking about how much she loves me." He pulled his hand from mine and raked his fingers through his hair.
"Well I'm sorry. I'm still a little shaken from last night, okay?" I turned away from him and he let out a laugh.
"That shouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you're taking up for Penelope. I can't believe you would actually think about doing that." His voice was hoarse.
"Why are you so upset that I'm talking about her?" I yelled and he growled.
"Because I'm afraid that you'll start to like her as a friend and you'll push me away towards her because you think that she would be better for me!" His voice echoed through my ears.
My chin trembled and I felt the tears swell up in my eyes, "Did you even think about this? Did you even think about what it would be like if we rode in a car together for God knows how long? You should've at least known that we were going to fight."
"And that hurts you?" He cleared his throat again, "Well it hurts me to think that you actually thought that Penelope loves me. Penelope doesn't love me. She hasn't even hung out with me enough to know anything about me."
"But she knows enough," I mumbled. "You're still getting married to her, aren't you?" My tears fell and he pulled over to the side of the road, making me turn to him.
"I swear to God, Anastasia. If you don't stop talking about her, I am going to lose my goddamned temper." He widened his eyes with anger.
"Why are you getting so defensive?" I yelled and he got even more angry.
"Why are you still asking so many questions?!" He hit his hands on the steering wheel, "Stay off of my fucking case, Ana! I hate it when you do that! You know I do!"
"Stop leading me to do it and maybe we won't have a problem," I snapped and he slung open his car door, got out and slammed it shut.
I buried my face in my knees and began to cry. This shit always happens. Why can't we just be perfect?
I got out of the car and stood up, looking at him. He was sitting on the back of the car, frantically running his hands through his hair.
I shut my door and walked over to him, placing my body in between the gap of his knees. He looked at me and tears stained his cheeks, making me lose mine.
"I'm sorry. Sometimes, I feel like this is why we can't be together." He sniffed and ran his hands down his face, "But I want to be with you. You're the reason why I don't love Penelope; you're the reason why I'm not getting married to her. Can you just leave it at that? I hate yelling at you, Anastasia. But you always fucking push me to do so."
"I'm sorry too. I just can't even think about Penelope without seeing you with her. It's always been like that," I muttered, the wind blowing my tears out of my eyes.
"You always see me with her when you think about her?" He looked up at me and I nodded my head, "Why?"
"Because of that one time. That one time. You took my virginity, and then you kissed her right in front of me like it wasn't a big deal. And now every time I think of her, that image pops in my head and I remember why I'm not good enough for you." I wiped away my tears and he looked back down.
"I'm so sorry, bébé. Really, I am. You know I don't say these things about us just to say them. I promised you..." He trailed off and grabbed my hand, kissing it.
"You promised me what?" More tears fell from my eyes when he looked at me.
He put my hand over his heart and put his hand on the small of my back, pulling me towards him so our faces were inches away from each other. "Ana and Harry," he whispered. "Don't you believe me?"
"I do. I believe you." I nodded my head and he ran his hands down the sides of my head a couple times and frowned at me.
"Good. Cause I love you so much." He hesitated, but he kissed me. "Do you love me, Anastasia?" he asked.
"I love you, Harry," I whispered and he grabbed my hand.
"Then come with me. Please don't change your mind now." He searched my face and I nodded my head again. He smiled and said, "Good, because I made way to many dinner reservations to cancel them."
I smiled before he kissed me again.
I loved this about us. So young, so real. It was everything I ever wanted...