After suffering through a less than mediocre rendition of Nicki Minaj' Bang Bang—a song which equated to scratching nails down a chalk board, but then again, most of Nicki's songs sounded that way to Camila—she and Michael relaxed against the bar, nursing more sodas as they watched Ashton's band set up on the stage.
"Vance is such a douche," Michael said. "I can't believe he's still trying to get with you after everything."
Camila sat on the stool nearest her and let out a long sigh. "Well, maybe he'll leave me alone now."
Michael looked down at his hands. "Why didn't you just ask me? You know I would have danced with you."
"Vance knows we're just friends. He'd never have bought it. Plus, I didn't ask Shawn to do anything. It was his idea."
Michael glanced up and eyed her carefully before turning his gaze away.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Don't 'nothing' me. What?"
"You just seemed very ... cozy with him."
Camila snorted. "Come on, Michael. We were just dancing. It was all a show anyway." She let her eyes wander until they fell upon Shawn sitting at the opposite end of the bar, a girl flanking each side of him. "See." She pointed to the two tall girls flashing their lipstick smeared smiles at him as he grinned back at them. "It's clear I'm not even his type. He was just taking pity on my Vance situation—which I'm grateful for by the way. That guy gives me the creeps."
Michael met her eyes. "The real question here is, is he your type?"
Camila opened her mouth to avidly deny Michael's question, when Lauren bounded up to them.
"There you are! I've been looking for you." She tugged at the bottom of her jacket and smoothed her hands along her sequined black jeans.
Michael's eyes brightened almost immediately.
"We've just been here." Camila prayed Michael wouldn't mention her dancing stint in front of Lauren. For whatever reason, she still felt slightly scared that Lauren would get angry with her again. "Who was the guy you were talking to?"
Lauren's eyes widened. "Oh, I know, wasn't he hot?" She sighed. "His name is Abe. He's a college guy. Someone Austin knows."
"Where is Austin?" Camila asked.
Lauren pointed to an area of tables just beyond where Shawn sat at the bar. Camila saw Austin huddled in a corner booth with a strange looking girl in a bright fuchsia tank top and tight black pants. "Who's that he's with?"
"Some girl he met at orientation. Herm—Hermi—Hermoine," she snapped her fingers and pointed, "that's it."
Camila must have looked confused because Lauren leaned forward and said, "Austin is with someone."
"Oh," Camila said. "Well, that's cool that he met someone already. Hermoine looks—interesting."
Lauren laughed. "No doubt."
The first strums of a guitar sliced through the air. Michael groaned and placed his forehead in his palm. "Oh God, please do not tell me they're playing this."
Camila snickered as Lauren jumped up and clapped her hands together once. "Ooh, I love this song!"
"You won't once you hear Ashton sing it," Michael mumbled.
"Come on, let's get closer," Lauren said.
Camila held up a finger. "Just a minute. I'm waiting on a refill."
Lauren grabbed Michael's arm and yanked. "Well, it's just you and me, Michael. Let's go." She turned and dragged him toward the dance floor.
Michael looked back at Camila, mouthed the word, "Yes!" and gave her a fist pump before facing forward once more.
She couldn't help but laugh, as the bartender plunked her drink down and the first lines of Ashton's song sliced through the air.
When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye,
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
"If I have to listen to much more of this, I'm going to cry."
Camila startled just as she took the first sip of her drink and the stinging liquid drew up into her nose. She coughed and her eyes filled with tears. Fanning her hand in front of her face, she glanced to her side. Shawn leaned against the bar beside her, amusement dancing in his eyes.
"God, Shawn! I'm going to put a bell on you or something so you can't keep sneaking up on me like that."
"Where's the fun in that? Besides, I like taking you by surprise. You get this wide-eyed scared-little-kitten look. It's cute."
"Well, is it also cute when Sprite projectiles out of my nose? Because that's just about what happened."
"You can do that? Now that's something I just have to see." He leaned back on the bar and grabbed her glass, handing it to her. "Here, take another drink and I'll scare you again."
"Shut up." She laughed and shoved his hand away, sloshing the soda all over his fingers. "Oops!" She reached behind her, snatched a few paper napkins, and took the glass from him, setting it on the bar and grabbing his hand to wipe the sticky soda off. "Sorry."
Glancing up, she met his eyes. He stared down at her, his face fixed into an expression she couldn't read. She stood there for a moment before she realized she still held his hand in hers. Dropping it suddenly, she cleared her throat and turned toward the stage.
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here.
Ashton's voiced grated over Camila's nerves, his tone all over the place and his pubescent voice squeaking where the song begged for roughness. Camila grimaced and Shawn laughed.
"You know, you could get up there and save all of our ears from bleeding to death," she said.
"Oh no. I don't play in front of people."
She sort of figured this after witnessing his playing first hand, but she couldn't help wondering why. "Why not? You're so good." She looked up at him. "You're going to play in front of me."
He glanced down at her, his gaze boring into hers.
"Whatever makes you happy.
Whatever you want.
You're different.
You're so very special.
I wish I was special.
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
Camila opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Lauren appeared in front of them. She studied them with scrutiny. "What's going on, guys?"
Shawn's expression morphed into his usual blank slate. "Well, Camila here was trying desperately not to snort her drink, while I discussed the musical merits of the band performing."
Lauren's eyes flickered to Camila's. Camila smiled and nodded. Lauren visibly loosened up and grabbed Camila's arm, pulling her onto the dance floor. "Come on then! Quit wasting your time listening to him blather and let's dance!"
Camila glanced back at Shawn. He shook his head and grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets and following behind them.
Lauren stopped once they reached Michael. He turned and gave her a small smirk before his gaze landed on Shawn and his smile slowly disappeared. After flashing Camila a scowl, he turned back to the front just in time for Ashton's last line.
I don't belong here. I don't belong here.
As the music faded away, Lauren whipped around, her eyes flashing. "Watch this." She removed her jacket, revealing a tiny black camisole type top underneath. Throwing it to Michael, she dashed to the stage and climbed up. Resounding hoots and cat-calls flitted around the room. Lauren walked to the computerized machine, typed in her song choice, and grabbed two microphones. She turned to face the audience and raised a brow in Camila's direction.
Camila gasped as Lauren nodded and pointed at her, curling her finger in a beckoning motion. Camila shook her head and absently backed up, bumping right into Shawn. His hands raised and grasped her upper arms.
"Come on, Mila." His voice sounded right next to her ear. "Show us what you've got." He shoved her forward.
She turned around and frowned at the cocky smirk he gave her. Narrowing her eyes, she said, "Fine—but someday, you need to return the favor. Show and tell, remember?"
He raised his brows. She raised hers in return and reached down to unzip her yellow hoodie, revealing the black tank top she wore underneath. Pulling it off, she threw it at Shawn. He caught it just before it hit him in the face. Shaking his head, he smirked.
Camila reached up and pulled the clip out of her hair, letting the long brown curls flow down her back. Before losing her nerve, she whipped around and made her way through the crowd, letting two guys in the front lift her by the arms onto the stage.
Lauren smiled as she handed Camila the second mic. She nodded her head toward the screen. "Do you know it, or do you need a lyrics sheet?"
Camila glanced at the monitor, relieved to see a song she knew. "No, I know it." She grinned.
Lauren nodded. "Let's give these boys a show."
Camila returned the gesture, trying not to focus on the swarm staring up at them.
"Don't be nervous," Lauren whispered. "I'll start."
"Okay."
The lights twirled above them as Lauren belted out the beginning lyrics.
I've had a little bit too much, much
All of the people start to rush, start to rush by
How does he twist the dance? Can't find a drink, oh man
Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone
A loud cheer went through the crowd as she put every ounce of attitude she had into the words and her movements on the stage. Camila couldn't help but smile and dance with her. It was easy to get into it, and was surprisingly more fun than she thought it would be. She didn't feel stupid at all.
Lauren nodded at Camila and she raised the microphone to her lips, singing the lyrics along with Lauren.
Both girls laughed and Camila allowed her eyes to wander to the crowd. Michael's nearly bulged out of his head in amazement—most likely more due to Lauren than Camila, but the sight almost made Camila crack up again. Then her gaze landed on Shawn. He stood just behind Michael, his eyes trained on her as he shook his head and tried biting back a grin. She scrunched her nose and continued with Lauren on the chorus.
The crowd jumped and swayed with them, singing along and cheering them on. Camila had participated in open mic night before but had never received such an enthusiastic response. It had to be Lauren. Her charisma was infectious.
After another round of the chorus, Lauren pointed to Camila indicating it was her turn to sing. Camila's eyes widened, but Lauren just nodded her head. Camila swallowed hard and lifted the mic to her mouth once more.
Michael jumped around in the crowd below, apparently unable to sustain a cool appearance for even a few minutes. Shawn maintained his stance the entire time, still watching carefully.
Camila looked at Lauren, leaned in and said, Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Lauren grinned and countered, Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mm
They jumped up and swiveled their hips when they landed, starting another round of the chorus. The crowd grew louder and louder. Camila was so involved with the performance she barely noticed them swarming the glanced down once more, noticing Austin and his girlfriend Hermoine standing with Shawn behind an obliviously dancing Michael. Shawn leaned over and said something to Austin whose eyes widened with a look of awe etched over his face. Hermoine fixed her stare on Michael, furrowing his brows in what almost looked like disgust.
Lauren belted out the next section.
Camila sang back.
Lauren answered.
Camila smiled.
Go! Use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle
Lauren closed her eyes and lifted her free arm in the air. Camila mimicked Lauren's movements and watched as the crowd did the same.
The music died temporarily as Lauren called out, Don't slow! Drive it, clean it, lights out, bleed it
With a laugh, Camila and Lauren ground their hips to the returning beat and sang the chorus through twice more. As the music ended, the crowd erupted around them. Camila giggled and tried to catch her breath as she clasped hands with Lauren and bowed at the roaring horde.
Lauren straightened up, licked her thumb, and pressed it to her behind, making a hissing sound to the resounding rise of male hooting. She threw her arm around Camila's shoulders and lifted the other in a fist into the air.
Lauren jumped from the stage into the waiting arms of a few overly anxious teenage boys. Camila, not being nearly as ambitious, climbed slowly from the platform, her face heating with the realization of what she'd just done. She wasn't one to normally "showcase" herself like that, and although it certainly felt freeing, she couldn't help feeling a bit of embarrassment as well.
Michael bounded up to her, his eyes huge and glasses askew. "Oh my God, that was freaking awesome!"
Camila smiled in response. Although she felt slightly uncomfortable now that it was over, she had to admit, it had been pretty freaking awesome. After a few more songs, her heart rate finally started to slow and the adrenaline rush subsided. Tiredness flooded her limbs, making any more dancing nearly impossible. Turning toward the tables, she spotted Shawn sitting at one near the back. She started toward him, wondering how he could be there alone, when she'd noticed every unattached girl in the place eyeing him up.
As she approached, he glanced up, meeting her gaze.
She pointed to the seat across from him. "Do you mind if I sit?"
He leaned back in his chair, shook his head, and gestured to the seat she'd indicated. His eyes stayed on her as she plopped down.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the crowd of dancers. Normally, Camila felt uncomfortable with silence, but as always with Shawn, she didn't. They didn't need to make unnecessary small talk with each other. For some reason, his presence was enough. What was it about him that made her feel that way? Even with Michael, her best friend for practically all her life, she felt the need to fill the silence. It was a strange feeling.
The back door to the club opened, allowing a frigid breeze to blow through the seating area. Camila shivered and rubbed her goosebump covered arms. Shawn reached behind him and grabbed her yellow hoodie from the back of his chair, handing it over the table without a word.
Camila glanced up before reaching out to take it from him. "Thanks."
Shawn nodded once and looked back to the dance floor. He seemed different than earlier. Slightly standoffish, quiet. Not at all jokey and flirty like before. She wondered if something had happened to initiate that change in him.
At that moment, Lauren appeared at the table and dropped into the chair between Shawn and Camila. "God, I'm beat."
"Me too," Camila said, her eyes unconsciously moving to Shawn. He remained silent.
"Hey," Lauren leaned forward, "you want to stay over tonight? We could do stupid girly things like paint our nails and braid each other's hair."
That comment elicited a soft chuckle from Shawn.
Lauren glared at him. "And no, you're not invited."
Finally, his gaze strayed from the dancers and met Lauren's for a split second as he shrugged. Then his eyes fell on Camila, and she could have sworn his mouth lifted in a barely discernable half grin before he turned back to the crowd. Her stomach did a weird fluttery flipping thing and her face heated instantly. What was that all about?
Shaking the strange sensation off, she returned her full attention to Lauren. "Um, sure. If my Mama says it's okay."
Lauren dug into her pocket and pulled out a glittery cell phone. "Call and see."
Camila took the phone from her and dialed. Before her mother answered, Camila snuck a peek at Shawn again. He still watched the crowd, but now there was definitely a smirk on his lips. She wondered what he was grinning about.
_______________________________________
After an hour and a half of girl-talk, nail painting, and hair braiding, Lauren had conked out. But Camila lay there staring up at the ceiling. She glanced over at the bright red numbers glaring out at her from the clock on the night table. Two thirty-seven. With a sigh, she carefully climbed out of the bed, trying her hardest not to wake Lauren. She crossed the room on tip-toes and twisted the knob slowly to prevent a squeak.
The hall was dark as she stepped into it and made her way to the bathroom. After closing the door, she walked over to the sink, turned on the water, and stuck her mouth under the tap, drinking enough of the cool liquid to quench her thirst. When she stood straight once more, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She looked terrible. Black circles had begun to form and her normally bright brown eyes looked dull and lifeless. She knew she needed to sleep, and she certainly was tired. But, she was afraid to fall asleep there. What if she had one of those nightmares and woke up shaking and crying like usual? She hadn't thought about that when Lauren had asked her to stay over.
Taking a deep breath, she splashed some cold water of her face, dried it on a nearby towel, and loosened her hair from the braids, letting it flow over her shoulders. As she exited back into the hall, she noticed a sliver of light coming from under Shawn's door and the soft strumming of a guitar. Even though she knew she should just go back to Lauren's room, she couldn't stop her feet from pulling her closer. The music grew louder as she moved and finally stood right outside his door. She placed her hand on the wood, and leaned her head against it as his voice quietly drifted out.
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form.
Water's getting harder to tread,
With these waves crashing over my head.
Camila closed her eyes and released a slow breath as she let his voice and the words wash over her. Even though the meaning was so incredibly sad, just like the first time she heard him, she felt calmer.
If I could just see you,
everything would be all right
If I'd see you,
this darkness would turn to light
Camila's knees trembled and she allowed herself to slide down the wall next to his door. With her eyes still shut, she allowed his pain to wrap around her like a blanket, enveloping her inside it while at the same time releasing her from her own torment.
And I ... will walk on water
And you ... will catch me if I fall
And I ... will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right
A single tear fell down her cheek as a small smile spread over her lips. She knew she should get up, should go back to Lauren's room and try to go to sleep. But she couldn't move. Couldn't leave the anesthetic affect his music had on her. Just a little longer, she thought to herself. Just a little longer and she'd go back. Back to where the numbness faded and the piercing pain returned.
Camila leaned her head back against the wall, her body relaxing to the tenor of Shawn's voice and the skill of his playing. Her head lulled to the side, and her hand dropped to the soft carpet. She felt herself drifting, and thought again that she should get up, but at that point, she just didn't care. Slowly, her mind closed to every thought, every sensation. Even the music faded, note by note, swirling down into the darkness of her unconscious. The very last thought, the last sensation she had was Shawn's voice softly singing words she hoped more than anything could be true. Not just for her, but for him too.
And everything will be all right.
And know everything is all right.
Everything's all right.
_______________________________________
Shawn closed his eyes and hung his head as the last note lingered in the air. His heart pounded in his chest. He focused on breathing—in, out, in, out—trying to calm the demons crawling to the surface. Just once, he wished, he could have a night where he could fall asleep and stay that way. But most nights he awoke to memories he'd long since tried to forget. Memories, that if he allowed them to re-emerge, felt as though they'd gut him completely.
He wondered if they'd ever leave him. If he'd ever feel normal—whatever that was. Running a hand over his face, he let out a slow breath. He stood and placed his guitar back in its case, snapping the clasps shut and propping it back up in the corner. Glancing at the clock near his bed, he sighed. Two fifty-three. If he didn't get some sleep he'd never be rested enough for his first morning practice with the team.
Crossing his room to the door, he cracked it open quietly, nearly stumbling over something in front of it.
"What the—" he said to himself just as he looked down, spotting exactly what it was he'd almost tripped over.
Camila's body sat propped against the wall next to his door, leaning halfway into the center of the frame, her arm lying across the threshold. Shawn stepped over her and squatted down in front of her. Her head lulled to the side, her chin resting on her shoulder. A barely wet line trailed down her cheek and a small smile touched her lips. Her breathing was deep and regular.
"Camila," he whispered, trying to rouse her without scaring her—though he did find that amusing.
She gave no response.
He reached out and shook her shoulder lightly. "Camila." He tried once more.
She let out a sigh and mumbled. "Ten more minutes, Mama ..."
Shawn stifled a laugh and studied her for a few moments. Noting the creamy complexion of her skin, which contained not a single imperfection except for the light smattering of light freckles on her cheeks. Though, he wouldn't call those imperfections per se. Too many freckles were sort of distracting, but these were nothing, and even added to the cuteness factor.
Her disarrayed hair framed her face, its color a contrast to her pearl white face. Her lips still held a smile. Part of him wanted to leave her there, just so he didn't have to disrupt what looked to be a pretty peaceful sleep. But he couldn't in good conscience do that, knowing how stiff she'd be in the morning. Unfortunately, he also couldn't wake her, effectively removing the serene look from her face.
After deliberating for a few moments, he moved to her side, looked for the best way to do this, and slipped his arms under her legs and behind her back. As carefully as he could, he lifted her tiny body to him. She felt as light as she looked. It was almost as if he were carrying nothing.
When he stood, she wrapped her arms around his neck, sighed, and snuggled her face into him. For a moment, he couldn't move, could barely breathe. It was the same feeling he'd had at the club when they'd danced and she'd pulled him tighter to her. He'd danced with more girls than he could count, but had always kept them at a distance, never allowing them to get to close and certainly never holding them the way he had her. It was almost like a reflex. She tightened her hold and so had he.
In truth, it had sort of freaked him out. He didn't want to give Camila the wrong idea and have Lauren hate him again over hurting one of her friends. If he was smart, he'd stay away from her like Lauren asked. That was really the only way to ensure she didn't mistake his intentions. But he didn't think he could. He liked how he felt around her. Liked how she dulled the ache inside him—he didn't even know how she did it, he just knew she did.
With the sleeping girl cradled in his arms, he walked to Lauren's room, pushed open the door slowly with his foot and walked in. Lauren lay on the opposite side of her queen sized bed, soft snores emanating from her unconscious form. He bit back a snicker as to not wake Camila. Though he did wish he had his video camera. He owed Lauren for the few—slightly more embarrassing predicaments she had taped him in. Someday, he'd return the favor. But not tonight. Not with Camila sleeping in her bed.
As he reached the edge, he leaned over, placing her softly on the mattress and slipping his arms out from underneath her. Just as he tried to pull back, Camila tightened her grip.
"Shawn," she said and he stilled, thinking she had awoke, but her eyes remained shut. "So beautiful ..." she mumbled.
His eyes widened as he reached behind his neck and gently pried her hands from him, placing them at her sides before covering her with the large down comforter.
"Play some more," she muttered again.
He pulled back, not able to help the grin spreading over his lips. She'd heard him play. And for the second time, the thought pleased him.
"Tomorrow," he whispered, sure she couldn't hear him.
Her brow furrowed, and her mouth turned down into a pout. Again, he bit back a chuckle as his eyes fell on a couple of wayward curls stretched across her cheek. He had the strange urge to move them away, not liking how they obstructed the view of her face. Tentatively, he reached down and slipped his fingers under the stray locks, brushing them across her forehead. He lingered at her temple for a little longer than he normally would. Her face relaxed and she let out a small sigh.
Feeling slightly pervish being in his sister's room and practically ogling the girl next door, he turned away and headed back to the door. He stepped out and pulled against the handle. Just before it shut completely, he glanced back up, stealing one more look at the mystifying girl. Her smile had returned.
"Night, Pippi," he whispered as he pulled the door shut, the latch clicking in place behind him.
____________________________________________
Author's Note:
Two updates in one day whaaaaat?
Much love!