Her tears were smearing off Xavier's shirt. One, two, three —
It didn't seem like he cared about her ruining his shirt. His breathing was calm, while she could feel the thumping against her neck. She tightened her arms around his neck as floods of memories of her mother and Mr. Robins created pictures in her mind. It was then she remembered she had to pay the electricity bill soon.
"Hey, it's okay," Xavier hushed her, rubbing circles on her back. His lips were so close to her neck.
It took her awhile to say something - anything. Her throats was sore and her eyes were bloodshot. "Things haven't been okay for a while, Xavier."
His stare was hard. He let out a sigh and hid his face into her hair, his lips dangerously close to her ear. There was something about the way he breathed around her neck, so close to her ear, that relaxed her almost instantly. She could almost bleed out the emotions coursing through her veins.
"I should take you home." He pulled back a bit to look at her.
It was hard to breathe again. Just the thought of going home and confronting her mother was almost unbearable. She couldn't see her after what happened. The guilt and the anger were hard to distinguish.
She shook her head nervously. He could never understand the agony she felt inside as her voice cracked as she spoke, "Please don't. I can't go home, please."
His face seemed to soften, watching as another tear fell to her cheek, flowing down to her chin. His silky fingertips cupped a bit of her cheek, causing her to almost become dizzy.
"Why not?"
She shifted uncomfortably and hauled herself out of his grasp. She avoided the question. Avoided looking at him. She took deep breaths and closed her eyes.
"I just can't go," she said, "Everything is so screwed up right now and I just don't want to do this."
Xavier just stood there, looking her over. He looked worried, and maybe he even was. An enormous lump rose to her throat, making it almost unachievable to swallow it down. He nodded and leaned against the fence they were next to. He was trying to understand.
"Where are you gonna stay?" He folded his arms. She didn't know what to say.
"You know what, Xavier, this is my problem. Not yours. I should really get going."
A hand yanked her to a stop, and didn't let her go until she turned around to face him. He seemed worried, almost exhausted. Maybe still sick?
"Maybe you could stay at my hotel," He suggested.
She looked away from the big brown eyes that were hypnotizing her to say yes. She needed to stay as far away from him as she could. This connection they had, she had to cut it off.
"I'm fine. I'll crash somewhere."
Without a single word, Xavier began to trot towards his hotel which was already visible from where they were.
There was only one problem.
He was lugging Stella with him. She immediately hooked the heels of her sandals against the grass.
"Let me go!" She screeched, struggling with her words as she fought against his grip.
Still, he said nothing. Instead, he turned around, grabbed her by the waist, threw her over his shoulder, and continued his quest towards his hotel. She screamed and tried her best to wiggle out of his grip, but man, did he have strong arms. She looked in front of her, seeing people walk by casually, although she could see some glances looking over because of what they were doing. They probably thought they were just crazy teenagers in love.
After what seemed like hours of her stomach aching, they arrived at his destination, but still, he held her up as he entered the glass doors and to the lobby, and not pausing until waiting for the elevator. The lobby was actually quite big. A huge, round desk that met with each side of the wall was to the right, and could be spotted the minute you walked in. On the other side, a room for luggage and golden bag strollers. And right where they were standing, a glass lantern was above and she could see her reflection.
A ding rang, telling them they could go inside as the doors automatically opened, the elevator empty. As Xavier pushed on the button to take them to the twentieth floor, he seemed to have forgotten she was slung casually over his shoulder.
"Can you put me down?" Stella asked, her ribs aching from the unusual position.
He just shook his head, which she could feel and played a smirk on his lips, which made her smile just a bit. She laid her head low, the blood rushing through her head with such a fierce force, she had to pull her head up to slow down the dreadful impact.
After moments of them standing there, only their breathing crashing together to make noise, the doors flung open and out they went. They passed several doors, all of them identical except for the numbers listed on the doors.
When he stopped at a door, she knew they were at the place he wanted to be. He set her down carefully. She just stared at him in awe.
He took out a key, but before he pushed it in to unlock the door, he set his finger upon his lips, "Be quiet, okay?"
Confusion set in, but she nodded her head anyway, and watched as he thrust the key into the lock, and instantly, after a turn, it clicked and he turned the doorknob. He looked at her, his finger still in front of his lips, and he walked in, his hand overpowering hers and taking her with him.
The whole room was dark - pitch black. The only light remaining was from outside, the sky and the moon forming a nice color. She could still see two beds surrounded by the darkness, and one body was lying on the one next to the window, one foot casually hanging out of the sheets, while the rest of him was covered.
As they approached deeper into the room, Xavier silently shut the door. Stella tip toed towards the bed, curious to who it was. The closer she got, the sooner it took her to realize it was Tyler, his mouth opened wide, breathing in and out.
She couldn't help but let out a giggle, which came out louder than she expected it to be. Rapidly two arms grabbed her by the waist, lifting her off the ground and swiftly bringing them undercover to the vacant bed, hovering the sheets over them.
Xavier's palm coated over her mouth, his body pressed against hers, but he was weightless on her. Okay, not what she had expected. Her heart pumped up and down inside her chest as her breathing heaved against his palm. She felt light underneath him, small. He was frowning.
His lips came closer to her ear, whispering into it, "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"
Still, his hand rested over her mouth, making it impossible to speak and answer his question. She hooked her fingers to his palm, parting it away from her, allowing her to breathe some air.
"I'm sorry," she said innocently, "He just looked funny."
She giggled once more, Tyler's image seeping back into her mind. This time, his hand covered her mouth completely, leaving no space for her to breathe, so she inhaled through her nose.
"If you don't be quiet, I'll do something that will," he threatened, smirking.
"And what's that?" Her voice came out as a muffle, but it was still clear enough to understand.
"You don't wanna know."
Slowly, Xavier lifted himself, hardly making any noise. The silence was irritating. He checked to make sure Tyler was still asleep. His arms reached out for her waist, as he hauled her with him, his arms reassuringly around her. Instead of letting her go, he kept her close as he grabbed two red blankets that seemed cozy and warm, along with two pillows.
Where were they going?
He turned his head to observe Tyler before taking her out of the room, closing the door quietly. His grip loosened a bit, but moving away was out of the question. They passed through all the doors they had earlier, but didn't stop at the elevator, surprisingly.
Rather, he took her through a flight of stairs, going up, and not stopping until they had reached a red door that read, 'Emergency Exit'. Stella hauled, making him look back.
"Should we be doing this?"
He smirked and shook his head before leaning in to whisper softly into her ear, "Of course... not."
Her eyes widened as he finished his sentence, but before she could even begin to walk away, he was already pushing the door open, and tugging her along with him. The place was, in fact, a beautiful scenery. It was all cement, nothing in sight except for the railing and the wall of the hotel.
She twirled around slowly, taking in as much of the beauty as possible. It wasn't extraordinary, but it was marvelous. She dashed to the black railing, looking down at the high level they were at. She bit her lip, a little nervous. She was on top of the world.
"What is this place?" She asked Xavier, who was just leaning against the wall, watching her curiously.
"Home," was his only response as he whipped the blanket over the pavement, the sheet floating in the air like a kite before settling on the ground.
He sat down and patted the seat next to him. She timidly approached him. She had to think twice before she sat down.
"Sorry about that - about bringing you here."
"Why did you?"
"I didn't want you to say no."
She sucked in a breath. He didn't want her to say no? She pulled back her blonde hair, which was flowing down to her shoulders, covering her cheeks.
"What did you mean when you said this was home?"
"It feels like home. A place where you feel safe. Something that you look forward to after a long day," he responded simply, shrugging as he looked over at her.
Once again, that instant connection between them rose up to the surface, making her swallow with fury. There was something about the way he looked at her. It was a different look. In that moment, she realized that she wanted him. She didn't know how, but she knew the desire was there.
But how can you have something you're planning on breaking?
He teared away his gaze from her, standing up, and walking away towards the railing. His palm set down on the top, allowing some weight on it. Stella did the same, looking out at the night sky, which was a mixture of black and purple.
"Why didn't you want to go home?" She shifted her eyes to look at him, seeing as he was already doing the exact thing.
"Problems."
"Like?"
She breathed in, the oxygen once again restrained. What could she say? She wasn't used to telling anyone about what was happening at home. At that second, the memory of what she had to do with him made her stomach lurch into painful knots.
"Just..." she took in a deep breath before continuing, "problems."
He nodded, as if he understood the discomfort of speaking about it. She studied him. He was no different than her. They were so alike. Yet his name meant something and hers didn't. But right now, in front of her, all she saw was a boy trying to fight against the world like everyone else.
"You shouldn't just run off like that," he commented.
She shrugged her shoulders simply, "Sometimes, running away is the only thing you can do."
He shook his head, although she could see the smirk on his lips. No matter how much she tried to push away the thoughts she had been fighting lately, he seemed like one of the most down to earth people she had ever met.
"Are we gonna sleep out here?" She asked after a while of watching the cars pass by and the city become filled with people ready to live out the night.
"Do you wanna go sleep with Tyler?" A smirk arranged his face.
She shook her head and laughed. "I think he'll do great without me."
Xavier covered his hand over hers, and jerked her to the sheets, pulling it over them. She grabbed one of the pillows, which was coated in white. She threw her head back, resting her heavy head on it. Her eyes closed, exhaustion coming over her, making her feel weightless as she almost went into dreamland. But a whisper let out something she couldn't hear clearly.
"Did you say something?" She asked Xavier, her eyelids still shut.
"Stay here with me."
"What?" Her eyes shot open, looking as he was grinning sheepish. Looking at him like this made her heart skip a couple of beats that she would never get back. There was this wonderful thing, just opening her eyes to see him. It was so calming.
"I said, stay with me."
"Why would I leave?"
"I just want to make sure you don't. Having you here is - well, something I'm not ready to let go of."
She grabbed his hand and held him closer. She could feel tears forming.
Stay with me.
"I'm going to be here right when you wake up." They smiled at each other. She could feel herself falling, whether it was for him or falling asleep.
"Stella?"
"Hm?"
"You're very pretty." He was going to give her a heart attack.
Her eyes widened, but she couldn't help but grin as her cheeks flushed. It's not very often when a guy had told her how pretty she was. She stared at Xavier's eyes, finding herself getting lost in a sea of brown, warm chocolate.
"Thank you," she replied, biting her lip, which brought his pupils down to see them for a quick glimpse.
He chuckled a bit before closing his own eyes, and breathing normally. Her heart was crashing in her ears, and thumping in her chest. As her eyes drifted off and became heavy, the image of her mother and Mr. Robins appeared into her brain, making her uncomfortable.
"Good night," Xavier said suddenly, making her jump at his voice after such a while of silence. The only thing buzzing in the air were the crickets.
"Good night."
The only thing that she could think about was how Xavier would react when he found out the secrets he was hiding underneath, would soon no longer be secrets all because of her. She felt heavy guilt.
And that's how she slept. Thinking about how revolting of a daughter she was, about how terrible of a friend she was. All she wanted to do was stay — stay with him.