Gerard stood close to Frank once they were inside, being able to sense his boyfriend's nerves. He scanned the diner in hopes to find Ray.
Frank gave him a nudge. "There he is," he whispered, nodding in his direction.
Gerard glanced over to where Frank was looking. He immediately recognized the man's bouncy hair.
"I'm scared," Frank confessed.
Gerard gave his hand a squeeze. "You'll be okay."
"No, you don't understand." Frank turned to face him. "I'm scared to death. Ray's the only person I know who's went through the same struggle as I have. I've waited sixteen years to talk to someone like him, and now I finally get to." He swallowed nervously. "I... I'm not sure if I'm ready."
"Oh..." Gerard said softly. He rested his hands on Frank's shoulders. "I think it's up to you to decide whether you're ready or not. But if an opportunity like this comes up, I say go for it."
"You really think so?" Frank said quietly.
"I know so."
"...okay," Frank said nervously. He kissed Gerard on the cheek, his lips lingering there a second longer than usual. "I trust you." He flashed him a smile, then started to pull him to the table. "Come on, I want to meet Ray."
"Okay, okay," Gerard giggled. "Do you–"
Frank froze abruptly, for Ray was suddenly in front of him. Gerard looked up at him. He had forgotten he was a seventeen-year-old boy and Ray was a fully grown man.
"Hi," Ray said, extending a hand. "Are you Frank?"
"Yes," Frank squeaked as he shook hands.
"And you must be Ryan," Ray said as he shook hands with Gerard.
"No, sir," he said politely. "My name is Gerard; I'm Frank's boyfriend."
"Well, it's nice to meet you. Would you like to have a seat?"
The three boys all sat down as a waitress took their order. She gave Frank a long, cold stare before she left. The boy tensed up.
Ray noticed his discomfort. "Don't worry. I was always getting those looks before I transitioned. Sometimes I still do. You'll learn to ignore them.
"So..." he put down his drink. "What did you want to talk about?"
"I had some questions about hormones and surgeries," Frank answered honestly.
"I can answer them," Ray said with a smile. "Have you thought about surgery at all?"
"Yes, I have," Frank responded. "I'm currently taking testosterone, as a pill though, so I don't know if I should switch to a different form or not."
"I think it would be a good idea," Ray said. "It would make top surgery go smoother. The scars would stay visible for a while, but they fade away eventually. If you're insecure about it, I'd advise not to have your shirt off."
Gerard looked back and forth from the two. He didn't know Frank was taking hormones or thinking about top surgery. He didn't even know what the hormones did. Was he growing a dick? Were his boobs shrinking?
"Can I ask who you've come out to?" Ray asked after the waitress set down their food. "If it's not too personal."
"Um... okay," Frank said uncertainly. He stabbed one of his lettuce leaves with a fork. "Gerard, two of my friends... that's all. Oh, one more person," Frank added as he remembered Lindsey.
"So not your parents?"
Frank snorted. "I know for a fact my mom would kick me out if I told her."
Gerard frowned, resting his hand on top of Frank's. "Don't say that."
"It's true, though," he retorted. "If I had a place to go, I would consider coming out. But I don't. So as soon as I turn eighteen, I'm outta there."
"Yeah, it's best to live alone or with someone who understands what you're going through," Ray said. "My mom and dad were incredibly supportive, and Christa knows exactly how I feel."
Gerard felt his cheeks heat up. Was Ray implying Gerard wasn't good enough for Frank? He wasn't supporting him?
"How did that go?" Frank asked. "Telling your parents, I mean. Did you plan it out or just say it?"
"It's... kind of a funny story, actually," Ray sniggered to himself. "I was seven or so, right? My friend Patrick was over and we were playing dress-up together, knights or princes or something like that. My mom came in and told me I should be a princess. I remember I started crying and told her I didn't want to be a princess and didn't want to wear a dress and never wanted to. Eventually she realized I was a boy."
"And she was okay with it?" Frank asked.
"Yeah, that was the funny part, she didn't even react," Ray laughed. "The next morning all my skirts and dresses were gone, my dad took me out to get a haircut, and they signed me up for all these sports I wanted to try."
"Wow," Frank said. "I wish my mom was that supportive."
"Um... Ray?" Gerard piped up. "Can I ask you something?"
"Go ahead."
"So if Frank did get surgery, would he have to go out of the state?" He sounded nervous. "There's a place in New Jersey, right?"
"I don't know, Ray confessed. "I assume there is, but... you told me your mom wasn't supportive?" Frank gave a nod. "Then I'd start fresh. Go somewhere where no one knows you. Start slowly, introduce yourself as a boy, dress in public, all that. You'll do fine."
"You mean... leave Jersey?" Frank said quietly. "I don't– I don't know if I could do that."
"Sure you can. I left."
"You... you left? Where?"
"I was from New Jersey..."
"Bathroom," Gerard suddenly muttered to Frank. He slipped out of the booth and walked over, dazed, to the men's restroom.
One in a stall, he locked it shut and slid down to the floor, letting his head fall against the tiled wall. He brought his knees up to his chest and snaked his arms around his legs, squeezing tightly. There was a lot going on in his mind.
Frank was taking hormones. For how long, he didn't know. Long enough for him to think about whether or not he needed more.
Gerard closed his eyes, thinking about Frank. It didn't seem like he wanted to leave New Jersey. However, Ray thought it would be a good idea. He didn't know what he would do if Frank left.
He stayed in the stall for a while, eyes closed and knees pressed to his chest. Ray and Frank were still talking when he finally returned.
"...preferably tomorrow or the next," Ray was saying. He smiled at Gerard as he sat down next to his boyfriend. "I should get going now. My parents live here and I wanted to drop by. It was nice meeting you two, call me if you have any questions, alright?"
"Thank you so much for flying out," Frank said. "This helped a lot."
"I'm glad it did," Ray said genuinely. "Hopefully I'll see you soon."
As soon as Ray walked out of the diner, Frank dropped his head onto Gerard's shoulder, hiding the large smile on his face. Gerard let out a small chuckle, running his fingers through the boy's soft wig.
"That was amazing," Frank muttered.
Gerard placed his hands on the boy's cheeks, gently lifting his face so it was level with his. "Are you crying?"
"N-no," Frank giggled. He wiped his eyes. "I'm just... I'm just so happy."
---
"It's so hot," Frank groaned.
Gerard snorted. "It's the middle of June, of course it's hot."
The two boys were walking through town, hand-in-hand, talking about whatever had come to mind and occasionally stealing small kisses. Frank reached up, letting out a sigh of relief as he tugged off his wig.
"Oh, that feels so much better." He pulled out his hairnet, letting his actual hair fall to his shoulders.
Gerard looked at his hair. "It's getting long."
Frank pinched a black strand between his fingers. "Yeah, it is," he replied. "I really want to cut it, but my mom would never let it fly. She thinks I should have long hair." He wrinkled his nose.
"Why don't you cut it?" Gerard suggested. "I'm sure your mom wouldn't be that upset."
Frank laughed. "Funny joke. She'd murder me."
"Yeah, but you heard what Ray said," Gerard pressed. "Start showing yourself gradually. A haircut may not seem like much, but it will eventually."
Frank ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, you're... you're right."
"I am?"
"Yeah, you are," Frank grinned. "Look, there's a place right across the street. I wanna do it now."
Gerard smiled back at him. "I'm happy for you." He kissed his boyfriend's forehead. "So proud of you."