Alex (girl)
"I was" he started
I am now lying in his arms. My eyes closed.
"I know you were" I giggled.
"You knew?" he asked incredulously.
"Bakit? May mali ba dun?" I asked . he pushed me away from him.
No
"Bakit mo hindi sinabi sa akin?" he said and stood up. He was walking faster.
Faster and faster.
Hindi ko siya mahabol.
"Alex wait!" I yelled but he wasn't turning back. I stood imobile in my spot, I felt waters on my feet. Its getting deeper and deeper.
I'm drowning. Help!!! No sound came out. I know how to swim, why am I not moving.
I was shouting but still no sound is coming out.
Alex
"Ate!" Shara is shaking me. "Wake up, you're having a nightmare" she's still shaking me.
I sit up straight and looked at her. Pawis na pawis ako, basa yung unan at shirt ko.
These dreams are getting worse and worse.
"You okay?" she queried searching my face. "You were screaming like a lunatic" she said easing the tension.
"Do these dreams come often?" she continued. "Lately, since I've moved here. I don't know" I shrugged. "Siguro stress lang" I continued.
"Thanks" I say and smiled. "What time is it?" I queried. Madilim pa kasi sa labas eh. Madilim din dito sa kwarto.
"Alas dos palang, I was reviewing when I heard you scream. You were asking for help. What was your dream about?" tuloy tuloy niyang sinabi.
"Hindi ko na masyado matandaan eh. Pero naaalala ko nalulunod daw ako" I said shaking my head.
"Well, panaginip lang naman yan eh. Go back to sleep" she said pushing me back in my bed.
"Good night" she smiled sweetly and went out closing the door behind her.
Hindi na ako makatulog. Why is Alex always in my dreams. Ano kaya yung sinasabi ko na alam ko? Ugh! I groan in frustration.
I stared in my ceiling when my phone started vibrating.
Its mom
I hit the answer botton "Hi mom" I greeted first. "Did I wake you?" she asked. Her voice quiet.
"No, I just woke up to drink water" I lied.
"Oh, kamusta ka naman jan? Alam ko galit ka sa amin ng dad mo for sending you there" her voice apologetic.
"I'm not mom. Sino naman nagsabi sa inyo na galit ako? I....." I paused. Took a deep breath and continued.
"I like it here. It feels like home" I answer honestly.
"I'm sorry we did that. But I'm glad it feels home for you" she said now taking deep breaths. She's nervous.
"It's okay mom. Alam ko naman na kasalanan ko eh" I confided.
Bago siya makapagsalita nagpaalam na ako. I still don't feel like talking to her.
I hang up first and closed my eyes. I feel hot tears run down my cheeks.
I miss my mom really. Pero alam kong mejo galit parin ako sa kanya. She left when I was still in my sixth grade, went to abroad para patakbuhin yung negosyo namin doon. She was always a perfectionist.
Naaalala ko pa nga noon, pag hindi ako valedictorian napapagalitan ako. She would always enroll me in summer classes. I had no time to have fun when I was a kid. I never had friends until highschool. I would always get grounded for the small things I never intended to happen.
Kaya pinagbubutihan ko noon mag-aral. I was a consistent honor student back then. But they never came to hang my medals on my neck. Si yaya Bev ang laging kasama ko sa mga recognition pictures ko. I was okay with that then pero I never heard any of their appreciation. They would never say I'm proud of you or even congratulate me.
Sobrang galit na galit ako noon sa kanila nung pinaalis nila si yaya Bev. Nung pinahiya nila sa harap ng mga kaibigan ko yung unang nanligaw sa akin noon.
She said hindi daw siya bagay sa akin. These things pushed me to my boiling point.
All my control snapped, all my respect gone. Alam kong mali yung ginawa ko pero sobrang pagod na ako nun eh. I felt free back then. I've gone wild but I enjoyed it.
Don't look back Alexis. These things were your past. Let go.
My subconscious is right. I shouldn't be lurking here in my past.
Ayoko munang banggitin si Alex sa kanila. I don't want to cause any rumors and plant more hatreds again. Hindi na kailangang mangyari kay Alex yung nangyari noon kay Kurt. I don't want him getting hurt just because my parents wanted to protect their reputation.
It's too soon. But I will introduce him soon.
I wanted to drift back to sleep but I can't so I reached out for my headphones and played Bella's lullaby from Twilight. It always helped me sleep since I was highschool.
I was already half asleep when I heard a knock on my window.
**