Caira
"How you doing ?" I asked Gerald as I walked into his hospital room
"A little better, I'm good though . Your mother just left, where's Julius ?"
"I don't know, I just came from work . Do you need anything ?"
"Nah, I was just watching t.v . Can't wait to get out of here, I'm about to eat I want my damn room service ."
I smiled "This isn't a hotel, they on a schedule . You'll get it when they feel like you need it ."
"I need to thank whoever in the kitchen though, I had a bomb ass omelet this morning . Had a nigga thinking he was at iHop this morning, I can't wait to get out of here ."
I laughed "You know they eggs fake ."
"Whether it come in a carton or not, they still hook it up ."
As I smiled it off he started struggling to get up, I grabbed his hand to help him .
"What do you need, I'll do it, what do you need ?"
"I'm just trying to go pee ." he said getting up
He slowly struggled walking to the bathroom that was only a few feet away, I continued to hold on to his hand .
"Caira, I got it ."
Soon and I let go he fumbled, I quickly held back on thinking he was going to fall any minute . I waited for him to come out the bathroom and walked him back to his bed, his dinner finally came in . It was a lean hamburger with a side of fries, he complained at first but that burger disappeared in seconds . He was praising the hell out of it afterwards, I fluffed his pillows and opened the blind to get some sun shine in there . I was at his beck and call all day, anytime he moved I was ready for anything .
"Do you need something, are you hot ?"
"Caira, it's cold in here I'm fine . It's getting late, you should go ."
"I'm fine, I don't have anything better to do . If it's cold I can turn down the temperature, are you thirsty I can get you something to drink ?"
'No, I like it cold . I'm not thirsty, thank you ."
"Are you hungry ? I can run to Mc Donalds, get you a real hamburger ."
"Caira ! I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I am fine ."
"Well let me fluff your pillow ."
"Caira, baby sit down I'm fine ."
"No you're not, I'm helping you ."
"I don't know how many times I can tell you I'm fine ."
"Maybe I'll go then and see you tomorrow ."
"Don't do me any favors, go home I'm fine ."
"What are you saying to don't want me here ?"
"No, I'm not trying to be mean but you doing to much . I don't need you to do anything for me, I appreciate it ."
"Screw you then ." I said getting up to leave
He grabbed my hand, I didn't want to face him "Caira, you're taking this the wrong way . I appreciate your help, I don't need it every 5 seconds though sweetie ."
"Let me go so I can go home then !"
"Turn around, let me see you ."
"Gerald I'm trying to go now ."
"Turn around Caira, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings I know your're trying to help you don't need to cry ."
I turned around to face him as I wiped my face "I thought you would be glad I was here ."
"I am, we done so good with each other and I'm glad we can be real with one another . I never thought you would trust me, after all those years I fought for you to trust me and give me a chance ."
"You don't even want me here ."
"I do, I think it means a lot you're here for me cause without a doubt I would do the same for you . But what's the real problem, we good with each other but we ain't that good for you to be shedding tears over me ? I know you don't like me that damn much ."
"I don't want you to go back to work, you talk about it like it's something your proud of you ain't taking this serious ."
"I've been apart of the army for years, you know if it was a war right now 9/10 I would have to be over there fighting ?"
"But you ain't going, you work at a damn fort . You could've lost your life, that bullet was an inch away from hitting on of your major veins and you want to go back ?"
"Why is that such a problem, I love what I do ?"
"Cause I almost lost you, I'm just now getting attached to you and you could've died ! You're all I got, please don't go back to work Gerald please ."
"Sit down ." he side pulling me to his bed side "I don't have to be at work for something bad to happen, I can't leave because an accident . People make mistakes, that boy last his own life from his own doing . I seen him blow his own head off, I'm not affected by it I'm sad but I'm not letting it stop me . It hurts that I couldn't save him but I can't let that not bring me to work, I have a passion for what I do . I should've been yelling more at Hakeem's ass getting his ass to man up, probably wouldn't have caught crabs then ."
"Don't joke your way out of this, we're talking about you ."
"Why else can't I go back to work ?"
"I don't want another replacement father, I want you . You're all I know, I don't want to go through getting to know another man trying to be my daddy . It's bad enough mine doesn't want to see me or hasn't seen me in years, I don't want you to go by force ."
"Caira I'm not going anywhere on my own will, I'm going to be here for you whenever you need me . Fuck your father, I'm your father and I'll always be around to protect you and make you feel important when you need it . What's that song called I been hearing Hakeem listen to, nigga I ain't worried about a thing ?"
I smiled wiping my tears "It's nigga I ain't worried about nothin' ."
"That's it, you don't have worry about nothing cause I'm here and not ever going to leave you or your mother ."
"Thank you ." I said giving him a hug not too tightly though
"The game is about to come on, I would love to watch it with you ."
"Is it okay with you if I stay here for the night ? I promise I won't bother you ."
"Do whatever you want, I'll tell the nurse to get you some blankets ."
All I ever had to say to Gerald has been said, I'm glad he knows how much I care for him now . I wanted to let him know that I rightfully call him my pops, I don't want him to go whether it's by the hands of somebody or by his choice . We watched the game all night, I went to sleep shortly after he did . After spending this quality time with him I can see why my mother loves him so much, behind that tough ass rhinoceros exterior he really is a good guy and to me they're one in the same . I was going to see Gerald the next day after work but I figured he had enough of me, I made him promise he wouldn't tell my mother about the little break down I had too . It wouldn't have mattered if she knew but I just want to keep personal moments between him and I . Regardless of what I think he's still going back to work, the man loves his job it's something that's become a tradition of the men in his family . I just have to deal with whatever comes at him, I bet that nigga knows now to wear that bullet proof vest at all times .
"I missed you last night ." Julius said wrapping me tight in his arm "How your pops holding up ?"
"Good, he's hooked on going back to work ."
He started kissing my chest "How you holding up ?"
"I'm good, now that I'm with you ."
"That's what Papa like to hear, I'm glad y'all all okay ."
I mounted on top of him, feeling something I never felt before "Julius what are we doing with each other ?"
"What happened to me being Papa ?"
"I'm being serious right now, I want to know exactly how you feel about me . I want to know what you would you do if I was pregnant ?"
"Are you ?"
"No, but I just want to know how serious you are about me . Gerald has me thinking that life is too short to be wasting time ."
"I'm in no way ready to be a father ."
"I'm not asking you to be one right now, I'm in no way ready to be somebody's mother but I want to know these things if it were to happen . Would you stick by me ? Would get tired of me because you're scared ? Are you going to be there ? I just want to know what future we would have together baby ."
He smirked "Caira, slow down . I haven't even said the real shit yet like I love you, let's get past that step first before we talk about babies and what not ."
"To be honest I'm really not trying to pressure you, I sure I am doing the most right now but it's just things that crossed my mind . We're only talking, it doesn't mean it's going to happen ."
"Well I ain't no punk and I'm damn sure not my father, you decide to drop a bomb on me that you pregnant I'm going to take my only option I have . Raise my Little Papa and hope I don't screw up ."
I smiled leaning down to kiss him "I'm sure you'll be a great one, one day ."
"You think so ?"
"I know so, till then you better strap on those condoms . With that being said, I need to take my birth control, I missed yesterday ."
"Take two then ."
"I don't think it works like that ."
I swallowed my pill and swallowed a little of something else that night too, I felt better seeing Gerald coming home . When I return to my own though, I see Jermaine and Julius laughing it up along with that Teyana chick .
"What's going on ?" I asked entering the house
"What's up baby ." Julius said
"This is Teyana, Teyana this is my friend Caira the girl I was telling you about ." Jermaine said
"Hi, nice to meet you . Sorry about your dad, is he okay ?"
I wasn't paying too much attention to her face, my eyes shifted to her big bubble ass only for the reason of the outfit she had on . Looked like this girl shopped at Baby Gap cause that shit was too tight and small she had to keep pulling her dress down enough to cover her entire ass, as I shook her hand I seen Julius taking a look as well . I shot him the nigga I dare you to look again eyes, he straightened up .
"He's fine, thank you ."
"We was all about to get something to eat, you want to come babe ?"
"Sure ."
I didn't want to go, I was tired and had a headache but I decided to go anyway . How the fuck Julius go from being ready to beat Jermaine's ass, to ke keing in the living room ?
We all went to Pizza Hut, Julius ordered hot wings and I got a person pizza along with Jermaine and the other girl .
Jermaine and Julius would go from laughing to him damn near fucking the girl in the booth, kissing her and tonguing her down . You can be cute but damn don't over do it, almost made me throw up . Julius and I was kissing too but we wasn't going hard like them, I know Jermaine and this wasn't a jealousy stunt this is really how his ass acts with his girls . Jermaine was in line first to pay for their bill, I waited outside as Julius paid for ours .
"What do you think about her ?" Jermaine asked standing beside me
"I don't know, I could barely hear the girl speak since you had your tongue down her throat the entire night ."
He laughed "Really what you think of her though ?"
"I don't know, can't judge yet . Right off the back, I think she's a hoe ."
He smirked "What makes you think that ?"
"The clothes, her attitude, she begged for some dick in the middle of the night ."
"How you know ?"
"I been trying to hit this girl for months ." I said taking the words out his mouth
"If I been trying to tap that ass for months don't you think she might not be a hoe ?"
"Might not be, but that also doesn't mean that if she wasn't fucking you doesn't mean she wasn't fucking another nigga . You asked, I'm just saying what I think of her ."
"I won't lie I did hear her credentials from another nigga, you only got a sneak peak of what she could do imagine her in the bedroom ."
I laughed "Please, y'all already almost made me throw up tonight ."
"Get used to that shit cause I'm keeping her ."
"You sound like her ass an animal or something ."
"All jokes aside how you doing though ?"
"I'm fine, I'm happy ."
"You can stay that way I'm not going to interfere and secondly I wasn't talking about your conceited ass, I was talking about how you doing with Gerald ?"
"We're good, everybody is good ."
"I want to forget about that little mistake that happened between us and move forward, we had a good night out and I want it to stay that way ."
"I hope it can, despite what I think about her I hope I'm wrong and it can work out ."