CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
"I'm on my way," I barely spoke as my throat constricted from the sobs I was trying to hold in.
Grace immediately told me which hospital he was at before I hung up. I tried to clean my cheeks from the waterworks that were falling non-stop before quickly picking up my stuff and leaving my office.
"Julia, I have an emergency and I need to leave. Please tell Mr. Kerrington I apologize for leaving at such a short notice," I informed her.
"Um... Okay and Ella, if there's anything else I can help with, let me know" She replied with sympathy.
I nodded, leaving before she could notice the fresh tears that had started to fall again.
The drive to the hospital had felt like the longest drive of my life. It was a cliché thing to say but it did feel that way. I always caught the traffic light on red when all I wanted was for them to be green so I could there as soon as possible. I didn't know want I was going to be told when I arrived but no matter how severe his injuries could be, he couldn't leave me. He has to be okay. He has to be okay. He has to be okay was the mantra I repeated over and over again. The more I tried to convince myself that he had to be okay, the more that void of pain in my heart started to grow. I was in denial about possibly losing him. Grace hadn't told me how bad he was only that it wasn't good but I couldn't help but think the worse about his accident. The ambulance arriving to the scene of the accident and paramedics taking out Max's lifeless body out of his damaged vehicle. Just picturing that image, nearly sent me into a panic attack.
I arrived to the hospital and parked on the first parking space I spotted. I power walked my way in and instantly spotted Grace and Patrick seating in the waiting room. My drive to the hospital was full of tears but as soon as I entered the building, I became numb. It was my way of not having to admit and accept what really was happening. I hugged Max's parents and sat next to them.
"Have you heard anything about him since you last called me?" I asked Grace.
She shook her head against Patrick's shoulder as she leaned into it.
"We only know doctors have been with him since he arrived about forty five minutes ago" Patrick explained.
As minutes went by and we waited, I called Mum and filled her in on what was going on. She offered to help (more than she already was) but I politely declined, knowing she was most likely going to babysitting Mia for the rest of the day. After one hour, a doctor emerged and walked into the waiting room. This time, I begged to God that this was the doctor that had attended Max. Countless doctors had walked into the waiting room but none of them had worked on Max. While we waited, I started to tap my foot against the floor in an anxious manner. It served as a distraction and a way of keeping myself seated instead of pacing.
As I saw the doctor approach us, I murmured a silent thank you. The misery finally over. I hoped, prayed, begged he told us good news. I didn't know if I would be able to handle anything less than that.
"Are you Max Wilde's family?" The doctor questioned as we stood up from our seats.
Patrick nodded as he held Grace against him.
"I'm Dr. Samuels, I attended Mr. Wilde" He said, extending his hand. We shook it and waited for him to continue. I could feel the tears started to well in my eyes - for the first since I arrived at the hospital - as I waited for him to speak, "He has several bruised ribs, a few cuts and scrapes and a severe concussion caused by the impact he received. Nevertheless, his vitals and brain activity are stable and normal so we expect him to have a full recovery. I do have to say he was lucky, considering the severity of his accident. He has been moved to a room to be able to rest and recover peacefully. Mr. Wilde might not come around for a while but you may visit him for a few minutes, if you wish" He finished, offering of emphatic smile.
The doctor's words had eliminated a huge weight of dread and replaced it with relief. I knew that stressing out wasn't good for my early pregnancy so thankfully his words had given me peace of mind. The level of stress and worry I was feeling lowering to a point of being almost non-existent. I would remain worried until he fully recovered but my worry wouldn't be as high as it was in the waiting room. What I most feared was Max not being able to make it due to his injuries from the accident. I didn't want to lose him, especially this way. It was too tragic for me to ever be able to accept it.
We thanked Dr. Samuels and proceeded to go to Max's room. As we walked to the elevator, the doctor said, "Miss!" as he reached for a few things a nurse was handing him. I stopped and walked back to him.
"These are some of Mr. Wilde's belongings that were with him at the time of the accident. We thought you might to keep them while he recovers" Dr. Samuels said before handing them to me.
He had Max's wallet - which was slightly dirty with dried blood, his phone - which had a broken screen and a creased paper. The small piece of paper seemed familiar. As I reach for the items and unscramble the paper, my hand instantly went to my mouth as I started to cry. The sonogram. He knew. That's what he was going to my office for, to talk about the pregnancy.
"He'll be okay and congratulations" Dr. Samuels said, slightly smiling before leaving. I let Grace and Patrick go to Max's room and sat on the waiting room.
I placed his wallet and phone on my lap but kept the sonogram on my hands. The more I saw it, the more tears fell and the guiltier I felt over his accident. If I had told him sooner, this wouldn't have happened. I allowed things to go this far before I decided to tell him. It took for Max to nearly die before I decided to tell him. I felt incredibly horrible and like the biggest jerk out there. I silently cried and sobbed over my stupid reluctance. I tried not to dwell too much on my guilt before going upstairs to his room. The only thing I could do was hope for Max to recover soon.
You never realize how much someone truly means to you until they are gone forever. I never underestimated my feelings for Max but I would had never forgiven myself if he had died and I wouldn't have been able to talk with him about the pregnancy.
After arriving to his room, I waited outside for Grace and Patrick to come out. As desperate as I was to see him, his parents deserved to see him and be alone with him for as long as they wanted. As I waited outside, I took the opportunity to call Mum and share with her what the doctor had told us about Max's condition and tell her about Max knowing about the pregnancy.
"Honey, the accident could have happened either way. It's not your fault" Mum tried to convince me after I told her how I felt.
The vent, somehow, helped me get rid of the small guilt inside of me. I still felt like I could have prevented it in some way.
As I ended the call, Max's parents exited the room.
"We're going to head home and rest. We've been here almost all day. I'm sure we'll be early tomorrow morning" Patrick spoke with Grace by his side.
"It's okay. I'll just go in and see him for a bit before leaving."
I replied, hugging them goodbye. "Have a good night. And again thank you for calling me"
I lightly opened the door of his room, closing it quietly. Max was unconscious. An IV and several other cables were attached to his body, keeping track of his vitals and heart beat. I walked to the edge of his bedside and pulled a chair, sitting next to him and reaching for his hand.
He looked pale. His eyelashes resting over his cheeks as his beautiful blue eyes rested. His lower lip was split and one of his cheekbones seemed to have a bruise. He had a small cut above his eyebrow that was covered with butterfly stitches. Another bruise that crossed his chest - probably caused by the seatbelt - could be seen through the collar of his hospital gown. His arms also had a few small cuts that seemed like scratches. He looked lifeless. The reassuring beeping of the heart monitor and descend and ascend of his chest being the only evidence he was still alive. His breaths were so light, they were barely noticeable.
As I held his hand, I rubbed a familiar pattern - he used to do on my hand - on his hand. I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it as tears started to fall and I murmured, "I'm so sorry. For not telling you sooner. For being so stupid." I swallowed the gulp forming in my throat as I held back the sobs and continued talking, "But please come back. I need you. Mia needs you. And the baby will soon also need you. I don't want you here with me, I need you here with me, Max. I can't lose you again. I love you so much"
*** Max's POV ***
I kept coming in and out of unconsciousness. My periods of consciousness were short, my body submitting to peace easily. Sometimes, I could feel the pain throbbing in my head. Other times, I felt numb. My body and limbs felt heavy. Muffled words and whispers echoed in the room, some voices I couldn't recognize, others I thought I'd heard them but wasn't so sure if I was still in a dreamy state of mind. I could hear the constant beeping of a machine and felt several cool cables against my skin.
On one of my conscious moments, I felt someone hold my hand. It felt familiar, I just couldn't point out who it was through my haze. A moister hit my skin; tears. I felt the person's lips kiss my hand and their thumb rubbed a pattern, I often did. Realization down on me, it was Ella. Her words were muffled as she spoke them. I wanted to comfort her, but as soon as I tried to open my eyes, I fell back into deep sleep.
*** Ella's POV ***
Today, I was heading back to the hospital to see Max. Last night, I had stayed until late. I felt bad leaving Mum with Mia until late so today I was taking Mia with me. I had called Mr. Kerrington this morning to apologize for leaving at such a short notice. I also asked him for a few days off which he politely agreed. Grace had called me earlier this morning to tell me she was on her way, meaning she must be with him right now.
Sleep barely came to me after I arrived home from the hospital. Being - at what used to be his home and now is ours - without him was weird. The place and bed suddenly felt too empty and big. I just wanted him to recover and be home.
***
Grace and Patrick had gone downstairs for a quick break and lunch. Mia was in my lap as I sat next to Max. She had one of Max's fingers on her small hand, playing with it like he used to do with her. Max was still unconscious. The doctor had said it was normal for him to still be due to his injuries and the exhaustion his body felt from the accident and amount of medical attention he received.
Mia suddenly shrieked and started tapping her hand on Max's.
"Mia. Shhh. Daddy is sleeping" I whispered.
Mia giggled her eyes focused on Max's hand. This time I noticed. Max's finger twitched and hid under his palm, later appearing again. She was laughing at the hide and seek game Max was playing with her. I looked up to his face and he was awake.
"Hey" He spoke, his voice was hoarse. His blue eyes looked tired as he gave me a small grin.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" I pulled my chair closer to him as I took his hand in mine, Max later squeezing it as our fingers interlocked.
"My chest hurts a bit when I breathe, I have a small headache and my throat feels dry but other than that I think I'm fine" He answered, trying to sit up.
"Do you want me to call a nurse?" I asked.
"Not yet" He shook his head in response as he finished sitting. "Can I have something to drink though?"
"Sure" I stood up from my chair, taking Mia away from my lap. I was going to settle her against my hip and carry her with me when Max offered to hold her. "Are you sure?" I asked, reluctant and afraid he might hurt himself with Mia.
He nodded and tapped the space between his legs. I placed Mia there as I reached for her bag and retrieved a water bottle. "How long have I been out for?"
"About 16 hours" I replied as I undid the cap and handed the bottle to him. He downed more than half of the bottle before putting the cap back on.
"Have you talked to Mum and Dad?" He questioned as I reached for the water bottle and placed it on a nearby table.
"They're actually downstairs eating lunch. They've been here since early in the morning" I answered.
He nodded but stayed silent. I fidgeted before forcing myself to speak, "So you knew?"
He instantly knew what I was talking about and he nodded as he said, "I found out that morning when your doctor's secretary called to remind you of an appointment you have in a few weeks. I had my suspicions something was up. They became narrower after the dinner. After I hung up, I searched for your purse. I didn't want to invade your privacy but I wanted answers to question I knew you weren't ready to answer. That's when I found the picture"
I felt even worse than I felt before bringing the conversation up. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to hold myself together "I-"
"Hey," Max interrupted, reaching out and bringing my head up. "I don't blame you and I'm not mad at you for keeping it from me. I knew you hadn't told me because you were afraid. But I'm not going anywhere, Ella. This time I'm staying. I promised you I wouldn't mess this chance up and I won't" He pulled me to the edge of the bed and kissed me.
As I pulled away, he brought his forehead against mine, cupping my cheek and whispering, "I love you"
I gave him a chaste kiss before saying, "I love you too"
We pulled back completely. Max made me stay on the edge of the bed as he, now, focused on Mia, kissing her hair. Mia tried to play with the IV on Max's arm and the other several cables that were on his body.
Grace and Patrick came back to the room a while later. After they spoke to Max, we called a nurse. She gave him some medicine for the pain and instructed him to lay down and rest. I was incredibly relieved now that he was awake. The worries had disappeared and joy settled in its place. Hopefully, he would be sent home - to continue recovering - soon.