Noah's eyes flicker up to meet mine, covered slightly by the strands of hair that fall stubbornly out of place. As soon as I ask, I regret it. It's none of my business if he tells them or not. He doesn't have to. It has nothing to do with them or me. It's personal and to do with Noah on his own. I realise this too late however, and want nothing more than to sweep up the words I'd let fall thoughtlessly.
"Nevermi-"
"No not y-"
We both start and stop simultaneously, letting our unfinished words hang in silence. Noah clears his throat and tries again.
"Not yet." He brushes his hair out of his eyes and stands straight form leaning on the banister.
"Right." My voice is low and barely audible to myself, but Noah hears it and nods. "I didn't mean to be nosy." Noah nods again, this time with a small smile.
"Nah, it's all good." His eyes meet mine, and I watch intently as the ends squint together and the slightest hint of of his laugh lines appear. Feeling my face subtly heat up, I break contact and bite the inside of my cheek.
"I should go, it's almost dusk." I balance on my heels and glance inside my apartment.
"Yeah, sure. You're fasting right?" I nod and lean forward on my toes.
"Yeah. I guess you're not." I indicate to the bottle in his hands and offer a non-judgmental smile- at least what I hope comes across as a non-judgmental smile. Noah takes it as it is and smiles broadly himself.
"Baby steps."
"Okay." I nod as I take a couple of steps backwards towards my door, half wanting to leave and half wanting to stay and chat or sit in comfortable silence.
"Ramadan Kareem." I turn at the door and give Noah a genuine smile.
"Allahu Akram."
"I have no idea what that means." I laugh and Noah chuckles. "But thanks."
~*~
Ramadan passes and Eid comes and goes. It's the first time I've spent Eid on my own, and I mostly spent the day busying myself with Uni and not dwelling on all the festivities going on back home.
The weeks have been flying by this semester. The days are short and the nights are long and time keeps moving. I have no option but to keep up with it, and I don't mind really, it keeps me preoccupied.
I take the stairs down to the mailboxes, a pit stop before I head off to campus. My legs bounce lethargically as I take the last step onto the ground landing, and I hitch my backpack more comfortably on my shoulders.
Noah's here; standing at his mailbox, with his back to me as he sorts through the envelopes in his hands. I haven't seen him since the evening on the balcony, and I think it's been three weeks since. I know I've been busy, but I've still been hanging out on the balcony occasionally. Noah however, hasn't. I know he's a third year, but I didn't realise Uni would become that hectic. That, or he's making more of an effort with his social life.
I approach with caution, walking quietly to my mailbox next to his.
"Hi." I say. His head snaps to the side as I speak and a grin appears.
"Hey, morning." I unlock my mailbox and gather the few envelopes I've received. Internet, gas, water, power and a hand written envelope with the name Madison Stewart lettered in cursive. My curiostity peeks and I turn it over to open, the mailing address halts me however. It's for N. Sheppard. For Noah. Just like the other two I'd mistakenly received.
"I think this is yours." I hold out the envelope to him, and he takes it, looking slightly confused. I however ignore it and whoever Madison Stewart could be.
"Thanks." I don't bother opening the rest of my mail; I slide them into my backpack and lock the mailbox. "Are you walking to campus?"
"Yeah."
"Cool, we can go together." I smile and nod, as Noah places his envelopes in his bag and ruffles his hair.
"Doesn't it get annoying?" We walk in step onto the street.
"I'm growing it out. It's at that awkward stage, of being long but not long enough to hold back." He sleeks it over his head and shoves both his hands into his jumper pockets.
"Why are you growing it out?" He shrugs.
"I guess I just feel like it."
"Fair enough."
We walk and talk some more; about Ramadan and Eid, and how there's no public holiday for it, like there is for Easter, Christmas and the Queen's Birthday. We talk about Uni and exams and our plans for the Summer and how Melbourne weather is practically bipolar. We talk for so long, lost in our words, that by the time we approach Monash campus, I wished we walked slower.
Noah's company is insightful and entertaining. It's relatable and comforting. He speaks so freely, and casually, as though we've been friends for years and have so much in common, and not like the acquaintances we are that have known each other for a few months. He's a simple person, I've come to realise. He speaks simply, acts simply and lives simply. It's his simplicity that makes him seem to calm and at peace all the time. Nothing is complicated, at least he doesn't let things become complicated and so there's nothing to worry about.
I like that about him- his calmness, simplicity and essence in general. Noah's essence, I think. The essence of Noah. It even sounds nice.
I can see my campus coming up and I'm sure Noah does too, because slowly we let the conversation end and walk quietly.
"I missed this." Noah kicks at a stick and we watch it skid across the footpath.
"Hm?" I steal a look to his side, he's watching me, his hair blown back and his cheeks tinted pink by the cold.
"I've missed our talks." If my cheeks weren't red from the cold, they're definitely blushing now. My heart takes a dramatic leap in my chest and I feel the blood rush to every part of my body and warm it instantly. "Is that stupid?" He asks.
"No, no it's not." I can barely put words together to make a proper answer. My blood is rushing through my ears.
"I like talking to you. I like chilling on the balconies." He smiles, looking away from me now, and chuckles almost sheepishly.
"Yeah, I do too." I'm blushing and not even the coolest winds on earth could be to blame for the redness of my cheeks. "This is me then." I shrug and breathe out, my breath forming white wisps of warm air.
"We should do it again."
"Sure."
"Cool." I nod and Noah starts walking off as I turn away. "Hey, Hana!" I turn back, a few steps distance between us. "Wanna go to Amu's later?"
"Okay." I smile and adjust my backpack straps.
"Cool." He waves and turns around, walking off, this time without turning.
I stand for a few moments, feeling foolishly happy. For the first time since deciding that I like Noah, I feel like I can finally admit to myself that I like him. He misses our talks. His words ring in my ears, but the one that seems to echo among all else, is that he likes talking to me. For me this is new. This is uncharted territory that I've never crossed before, or ever dared to. This is the place that Baba told me to never wander into, yet here I am, and despite all the warnings, I feel somewhat euphoric.
I turn, with a permanent smile glued to my lips. He missed it. It's honest yet strange to hear. The only friendship I can compare it to, is mine with Evan, and even though we've been best friends for six years, we've never spoken so personally. I've never told Evan that I've missed him or us, or hanging out, and neither has he. It's purely platonic, if not less mutual than that. I always thought that my friendship- or whatever it is with Noah- was like my friendship with Evan. But now, with a few words from Noah, it feels like everything has changed, like things have become personal, more personal than they were.
The thing is though, nothing has probably changed. This is all probably me overthinking, over reacting to something so simple, because of a silly fondness over him. A silly fondness that has the smallest part of my mind thinking that maybe, just maybe my silly fondness is mutual.
--------------------------------------
I want to say I'm on a roll, but I don't want to jinx myself, so I'm not. I didn't want to leave you guys with a cliffhanger (kind of) so I got up pumped to write another chapter! I'm trying to get things moving along more with Hana and Noah, kind of reaching the climax of their 'unorthodox friendship', before things get more interesting. I hope you guys enjoy this!
Vote, comment, share- let me know what you think! :)