Before you guys read this, I'd like you to recall previous chapters so this will make a lot more sense.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Percy's POV
Recent heartbreak. What was I thinking?
I looked over to Leo, who was smiling and cheering so loud, and Nico, who's broken internal feelings were just shining through his voice.
I couldn't take it. I got up, told Travis I needed some water, and ran.
I didn't know where I was going. I just ran. Past the Big House, past the cabins, past my cabin. Faster, I ran faster. Everything was a blur, and I started panting. I wanted to punch something, to knock someone out. I ran and clenched my teeth, pushing myself on. Faster, branches cut into my skin.
Branches? I opened my eyes.
Holy fuck, where in Hades am I? I didn't even care. I kept running. I ran until I realized I wasn't in camp anymore. I wasn't protected anymore.
I don't have armor. I'm lost. I can't find my way back because I don't know where the fuck I am. I punched something. A tree. Probably a nymph, in which case I'm a fucking jerk. I yelled, screamed. Took all my frustration out, but all of it was so pent up.
I killed Bianca.
Silena. Beckendorf.
Even Leo. Nico. They're all dead. My mom, my dad, my girlfriend. All of them. Because of me.
What are you talking about, Percy. I shook my head, trying to get the reassurance out. They aren't dead.
"YES THEY ARE!" I growled. I pulled out Riptide and slashed at the people in front of me.
People? What people? I blinked. I'm seeing people. I slashed my hand through them. Not real. They weren't real.
I can see people. I slashed at them, I'm not crazy.
I have a confession. I told myself.
"You're suffering through depression." I turned around. Juniper?
"No, no you're fake too. You're all fake."
"Perce." She smiled. "It's me, it really is. You kinda punched Tracy there but she doesn't mind. You can't actually hurt her in that form."
"What? You're real?"
"Yes, I am." She smiled. "Do you want to talk about... This?" She referred to the mess that was me.
She led me to a grassy place, inside of the barrier, in the shield. Safe. We sat down and she nodded, urging me to speak. I cleared my throat.
"I've been having these, um, nightmares. Anxiety attacks. Um, I don't know what it is. I have flashes of Tartarus, of people dying. There are these voices, they tell me things. They confuse me. Sometimes they'll give me thoughts I never had before, and sometimes they push feeling out of me. They scream sometimes. That's the worst. When they scream. It's like your brain is shattering. They make me do things on impulse. No one knows. No one can. I'm not crazy, you gotta believe me. I just, I need someone. I need someone to take it all away. Someone who knows how. I need..."
"You need Nico. You need Nico because he knows, because you need him. Percy, have you ever thought that maybe, you're bisexual?"
"Bisexual." A sharp ring went into my head and I took a sharp intake of air. "No. I'm not."
"What do you mean you're not. You aren't or you don't want to be?"
"They won't let me. The voices. They're much louder now."
"You may be," she cleared her throat. "You may have depression. Severe depression. Schizophrenia. Something."
"Shitzo what now?"
"Schizophrenia." She repeated. "Alter egos. The gods have it, in a way that they are both Roman and Greek, Hades and Pluto, Poseidon and Neptune, like that. For mortals and demigods, it's not necessarily the same. The voices can tell us to do things, even kill. People have committed suicide over this. If you have depression with it? Percy, that's bad."
"They were in my head, when I kissed... when I kissed Nico. They were there when I asked Annabeth to time travel, they were there when I broke his heart. They were there, they talk to me. They confuse me. I don't like them."
"Of course not. I don't like them either. But I think I can stop it."
"Are the words greek? It sounds like a greek words."
"Yeah, actually it is. Schizo and phren--"
"Split minds. Crazy?"
"No, no." She shook her head. "It's just a mental disorder."
Hear that? You're crazy. I clenched my teeth. Did I say that out loud?
No. She said I wasn't.
She's lying.
She wouldn't do that, though. I furrowed my eyebrows. Stop talking, she can hear.
She's lying Percy, tell her.
"You're lying." Why did I say that?
Maybe she is lying. Maybe she knows what I said. I said it aloud.
"Percy, you're not crazy." I didn't say it out loud? I heard myself, I heard me saying it. So confused.
"Percy, listen to me. You aren't crazy, many people have it. It's curable. Medications can help."
"You aren't real."
"I am."
"No, no you aren't. I know you're not here. You went with Grover. You went with Grover to find some demigods. You didn't want to leave him."
"We came back."
"You didn't."
"We did."
"YOU DIDN'T. YOU'RE NOT REAL. NONE OF THIS IS REAL!" I scream and slashed through her with my hand. I blinked and she disappeared. "None of this is real..." I cried. "What's wrong with me?"
Nico's POV
I heard some people clap and cheer, I didn't care. Where was Percy? I climbed down the stage and ran to Leo and Annabeth.
"Percy's missing." I blurted out.
"What?" Annabeth looked at me. "No he's not, he's right the... " She glaced around after realizing he wasn't in his judge chair. "Were'd he go?!"
Right then, Grover busted through the crowd, Juniper behind him. His eyes were wide and he was nervously and wildly chewing on a can. He searched around before his eyes landed on us.
"Ni-i-i-i-ico." He said goat-like. "It's Percy! He's in trouble!"
"What? Trouble? What kind? Where?" Annabeth asked frantically. Grover looked over to her and replied hastily.
"I'm not sure, I know where he is, there are the visions. I can see what he's seeing, he's in the woods. I rushed back as soon as I could, the new demigods are over there."
"Okay, we gotta go then. He could be in trouble." Annabeth took out her dagger and pushed through the crowd. I followed close behind her, my hand gripping my sword. As we entered the woods, we decided to split up, which would apparently cover more ground. I held onto Leo, meaning don't even think about it bro, he's coming with me. Grover didn't mind, being one of Annabeth's best friends and all. He did, however, warn us that when we found Percy, he may not be very Percy-like.
I shrugged and held Leo's hand, pushing forward through the woods, praying Annabeth and Grover found Percy and not us.
It isn't like I didn't want to help him. I did, I just couldn't see his face without internally crying my heart out.
Of course, luck was never at my side and we found him crying at a rock. Leo ran up to him and put a hand on his back.
"Hey, bro, are you alright. C'mon Perce, talk to me, we're best friends, remember?" Leo chanted, attempting at stopping his crying. It was funny, in a cynical way, how he cares for Percy. He basically cheated using me, Leo's boyfriend, and yet he looks at him as if he was the Dean Winchester to his Sam. He looked at him as if they were brothers, even though me and Perce were closer.
Did I just tell myself how much of a jerk I am?
Yes, yes I did. Just shut up, it was on purpose.
I see you've backed down. That's right, feel the awesomeness that is Nico D--.
"Neeks, you seriously have to stop reminding us about your awesomeness and come help me."
"Are you kidding me? Again?!" I groaned as I walked to Leo. "Percy, come on."
He looked up slightly and his eyes widened. He quickly wiped his tears and sat up straight. "I'm fine."
"You were crying." Leo bluntly stated. "You're not fine."
"I wasn't crying, I was watering the grass with my eyes."
"Yeah, okay, hope you and your green thumb are having fun. Now explain why you were... What was it?"
"Watering the grass with his eyes." I helped.
"Yeah, that."
"The grass, well, it looked very, you know. Dry." Percy looked surprised at himself, as if coming up with that excuse was genius. "Yeah. Dry. Exactly."
"Uh huh. Let's just get you back to camp. Then you can explain why you decided to be a gardener in the middle of the woods." He nodded and stood up, following us to camp.