( TOPSY TURVY )
MOTEL ROOM
[ ☾]
Sam is on his laptop and Dean on the phone, he has the thread in his hand. "So, we found another piece of this, I don't know, shiny string." Dean asks.
Ellen is on the phone, in Bobby's kitchen. She cuts up vegetables in front of the stove, then wipes her hands. "Oh, I was afraid of that." She says.
"Why? What's up?" Dean asks.
"Oh, these so-called accidents - we're seeing 'em nationwide. About 75 so far. I got Jo and her crew working on a cluster in California." Ellen sees Bobby opening a beer and takes it from him.
"Hey. Hey. Hey." Bobby says.
"Blood relatives?" Dean asks.
"Some yeah, some no. She's got about what you do - pile of bodies and a whole bunch of gold thread." Ellen says as Bobby walks to the stove, smells the food, picks up a vegetable and eats it.
"So what's it mean?" Asks Dean.
"I don't know. I got Bobby working on it right now." Ellen says.
"How's he doing, by the way?" Dean gets up.
"Oh, don't worry. I'm kicking his ass back to health and happiness." Ellen says.
"Who asked you to? To hell with you." Bobby walks out the kitchen.
"I heard that." Dean says.
"He'll be okay."
"Are you okay?" Asks Dean.
"Aw, honey, you're sweet. You know me. I just worry about you boys." Ellen says.
Dean sits back down. "Yeah, well. All right, so, all these corpses, anything relate 'em?" He asks.
"Well, actually, I did dig up one thing. I just don't know what to make of it." She puts the beer down and walks to the stove.
"Hit me." Dean says.
Ellen scoops a spoonful of food out the pot, smells it and adds some salt. "Well, it's a weird one, and it was buried pretty deep, but Bobby and me were combing through the family trees on all the victims, and we started seeing, well, the families all came over to America the Same year." She says.
"Hmm."
"Yeah. 1912. But here's the real weird part. They all came over on the Same boat." Ellen says.
"Really?" Dean asks.
"Yep." Ellen says.
"All right, so what's so special about the boat?" Dean asks.
"Nothing. It was a boat. It did what boats do."
"What was it called?" Asks Dean.
"The Titanic. Did you ever hear of it?" She takes a sip of beer.
"No."
"Yeah, me neither. I'll keep digging." Ellen says.
"All right." Dean hangs up and Ellen pours some beer in the pot. "Does the name Titanic ring a bell?"
"Titanic? No." Sam researches. He sighs and quotes a website. "The RMS Titanic was the largest passenger steamship in the world when it made its maiden voyage across the North Atlantic in 1912."
"So what's the big friggin' deal? It's a ship. It sailed." Dean says.
"Yeah, I don't know. Um... Oh, looks like there was a close call. Ship almost hit an iceberg." Sam says.
"Almost? So?" Elena asks.
"So, uh, looks like the first mate spotted it just in time." Sam says.
"Good for him. There anything else?"
"Wait a second." Says Sam.
"What?" Dean asks.
"Uh, this first mate. Mr I.P. Freeley."
"Well, that's not suspicious. You got a picture of old Freeley?" Dean asks.
"Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Dean gets up to look at the photo. "Let's see. Balthazar." He says.
Sam and Dean summon Balthazar—they carry a table to the middle of the room. Dean puts a bowl and candles on it and draws something in chalk. Sam closes the curtains. Dean lights a match and drops it into the bowl. The lights flicker. Sam and Dean look around. Balthazar appears.
"Boys, boys, boys. Elena." Balthazar says. "Whatever can I do for you?"
"We need to talk." Dean says.
"Oh, you seem upset, Dean." Balthazar says.
"The hell with the boat, Balthazar?" Dean asks.
"What boat?"
"The Titanic." Sam says.
"Oh. Ja. The Titanic. Yes, well, uh, it was meant to sink, and I saved it."
"What?" Elena asks.
"Well it was meant to bash into this iceberg thing and plunge into the briny deep with all this hoopla, and I saved it." Balthazar says. "Anything else I can answer for you?"
"Why?"
"Why what?" He asks.
"Why did you un-sink the ship?" Asks Dean.
"Oh, because I hated the movie."
"What movie?" Dean asks.
"Exactly." Balthazar laughs.
"Wait, so you saved a cruise liner because—" Elena starts.
"Because that God-awful Celine Dion song made me want to smite myself."
"Who's Celine Dion?" Sam asks.
"Oh, she's a destitute lounge singer somewhere in Quebec, and let's keep it that way, please." Balthazar says.
"Okay, I didn't think that was possible. I thought you couldn't change history." Elena says.
"Oh, haven't you noticed? There's no more rules, boys."
Sam scoffs. "Wow. The nerve on you. So you just, what, un-sunk a giant boat?" He asks.
"Oh come on. I saved people. I thought you loved that kind of thing." Says Balthazar.
"Yeah, but now those people and their kids and their kids' kids, they must have interacted with - with so many other people, changed so much crap. You totally Butterfly-Effected history!" Sam yells.
"Dude. Dude. Rule one, no Kutcher references." Dean says.
"Ah, yes. Unfortunately, there's still an Ashton Kutcher. And you still averted the Apocalypse, and there are still Archangels. It's just the small details that are different, like you don't drive an Impala." Balthazar says as Sam and Dean look confused. "Yes, yes. "What's an Impala? Trust me, it's not important. Elena is dating the wrong brother."
"What do you mean dating the wrong brother?" Elena asks.
"We've been together for more than five years." Dean says.
"Ah, yes." Balthazar says. "You were destined to be with Sam here, and not Dean. But a little change of fate helped you land in the arms of a forbidden love. So you can say I helped you on that. And, of course, Ellen and Jo are alive." Balthazar walks over to the counter, picks up a bottle and pours himself a drink.
"Ellen and Jo? What?" Dean asks.
"Yes, they're supposed to be dead. You see, I save a boat, one thing leads to another, which leads to another thousand things, and yada, yada, yada. To cut a long story short, they don't die in a massive explosion." Balthazar drinks. "Mmm. Anyway, let's agree I did a good thing. One less Billy Zane movie and I saved two of your closest friends."
"But now somebody is killing the descendants of the survivors." Sam says.
"And?"
"And that's maybe like 50,000 people." Elena says.
"And?" Balthazar asks.
"And we need to save as many as we can, but we need to know who's after 'em." Dean says.
"Oh, uh, sorry, uh. You have me confused with the other angel - you know, the one in the dirty trenchcoat who's in love with you. I... don't care. Goodbye, boys." Balthazar vanishes.
"Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait." Dean says. "Son of a bitch!"
Bobby is on the phone with Sam, Elena and Dean on speaker phone. "So, Balthazar un-sank a boat, and now we got a boatload of people who should never have been born." He says.
"Yeah. Like 50,000." Sam says.
"Makes sense." Bobby says.
"How does any of this make sense?" Asks Sam.
"Because I got an idea who we're up against." Bobby says.
"What?"
"Fate." Bobby says.
"You mean - ?" Elena asks.
"I mean Fate, like the Fates. Or one of 'em, at least." The book Bobby has in front of him shows three women sitting, holding a long gold thread.
"You mean like Greek mythology? Like the sisters?" Sam asks.
"Bingo."
"Nerd." Dean says.
"These ladies are responsible for how you go down, literally." Bobby says. "So if you get creamed by a garage door or crunched by a copy machine, they're the ones who hammer out the details of how you die. Spin out your fate on a piece of pure gold."
"Gold thread." Sam says.
Bobby takes a sip of coffee. "And then one of 'em writes it all down in her Day Runner of Death. It's high-level stuff. Anyway - fits. Now we know what Balthazar did. It seems to me that maybe Fate is just trying to clean up the mess." He says.
"So, how do we stop it?" Elena asks.
"How do we stop Fate? Good question." Bobby says.
"Well, there's got to be a way." Dean says.
"Or there ain't. I mean, this is Fate we're talking about here." Bobby says. "You know, the easiest way would be to get that angel to re-sink the boat."
"No. No way. Forget it." Dean says.
"Big difference between dying awful and never being born, Dean."
"We are not sinking the boat, Bobby. Okay? Don't even think about it." Dean says.
"Well, okay. What's got your panties in a clench?" Bobby asks.
"Nothing." Dean says.
"Try that again?"
"It - Look, it - it - it doesn't even really matter, but..." Dean starts.
"But?"
"Apparently, a crapload of dominoes get tipped over if the Titanic goes down. And, uh, bottom line—Ellen and Jo die." Dean says.
Bobby looks at the picture of himself and Ellen by the B & E Scrap Yard sign. "Okay, you two. Listen up. You make sure... Keep those angels from sinking that boat. Do you understand me?" He asks.
"Yeah." Sam says.
"Yes."
"Yeah, Bobby, of course." Sam says as Bobby hangs up.
"Oh, he's bad enough with her. Think how he'd be if she was gone." Dean says.
"Yeah." Sam sighs. "So, what do we do? I mean, how do we save 50,000 people?"
"I got no freaking clue." Dean says.
"Yeah. We don't even know who they are." Elena says.
"Well, we know one." Dean points at Shawn Russo's pamphlet.
STREET
[ ☼ ]
From inside the Mustang Dean spots Russo. Russo is walking with a client who is in a neck brace. Russo leaves the client and walks off on his own. "That's him. Let's go." Dean says. Sam, Elena and Dean exit the Mustang and follow Russo. Russo's phone rings.
"Hello. Yeah. What?" Russo asks.
"Mr. Russo!" Dean yells.
"I don't care. Send him a fruitcake." A man in a car is driving along. he takes a sip of coffee.
"Shawn!" Dean yells at him.
"Who's the judge?"
"Russo!" Elena joins in.
"All right, send him a nice bottle of champagne. But nothing more than 30—"
"Shawn!" Dean yells.
"Ah, no. 20 bucks. Believe me, this guy - he owes me." The guy in the car spills his coffee all over himself.
"Russo, stop!" Dean yells. Russo stops and turns to face Dean. The guy brakes and narrowly misses running over Russo. Russo falls and drops his phone. Sam helps him up. Dean holds out Russo's phone. There are worried murmurs from passers-by.
"Get off of me." Russo says to Sam and turns to Dean. "And you - I told you to leave me alone, didn't I?"
"Look, we're just trying to help you out, okay?" Dean says.
"Help me?! You almost killed me, you lunatic. Give me that." Russo grabs his cell phone away from Dean. "Unbelievable." He walks away, crossing a street.
"Russo! Hey!" Dean yells.
Russo speaks from the middle of the street. "Just be glad I'm not suing your a- !" He is hit by a bus.