My knuckles almost hurt from knocking on Christina's door at this point. "Christina!" I yell out.
"Not now!" she yells out, frustrated. Her voice is muffled from the door but it sounds like she has her mouth full. Is she eating?
"Christina let me in," I call out.
"No!" she shrieks. "I'll get it!"
"Okay," I say, utterly confused. What could be so bad that I can't come in?
Moments later, Christina opens the door. Her hair is a little ruffled and her clothes sloppily on. There's some white icing on the side of her lip. She must have been eating the vanilla dauntless cake.
"Hey Chris," I smile.
"This better be good, Prior," she huffs. I scrunch my eyebrows.
"I just wanted to hang out with you tonight. Tobias is out right now." I can't help but notice the icing on her mouth again. "Uh, you got a little something," I point out, gesturing toward her mouth.
"Oh. I do?" she asks, wiping it away with her sleeve in a hurry.
"How was the cake?" I ask her.
"Oh, yeah, Will and I were having a cake eating competition. We do that sometimes."
"And you chose vanilla?" I ask, almost in disgust.
"I've always been partial to chocolate, but Will said he wanted to try something new." She pauses for a moment. "Anyway, yeah, come in. We can totally hang out."
"Will!" she shouts from the kitchen. "Tris is here."
She unboxes another cake, this one chocolate. Slicing a piece for each one of us, she smiles nervously up at me.
"So where is Will?" I ask her.
"Oh, he was--" she starts.
I turn around at Will's voice. "Hey Tris, what's up?" he asks casually walking over to Christina and wrapping an arm around her. His hand drops to her hip.
"How was the contest?" I ask, curious to know who won. Most likely Christina because she absolutely loves sweets.
"What contest?" he asks, shocked. "Am I missing something?"
"The cake eating one, sweetie," she says a bit forcefully with a piercing glare.
"Oh. Oh, yeah. That one," he says hesitantly, looking at Christina for confirmation.
"He won," she says, a little smug.
"But she was really good at it," he adds, a small smile taking the place of his confusion.
I start putting the pieces together. Will looks like he's glowing, Christina looks a mess, there was white 'icing' on her lip, he came out of the bedroom. Oh. That's nasty.
"Oh, oh my god!" I shriek in disgust. "You guys did that?"
Christina takes a sharp breath though her teeth. "Busted," she draws out, looking up at Will.
Will leans near Christina and says, "It's not like your mom caught us."
She smirks. "No, honey, it's just as bad," she guffaws.
I give her a look of outrage and confusion. At that, Will says, "Well I'll see you later Chris. Bye, love you."
The door closes behind him and Christina an I are alone in the room.
I look over at her, a little amused by the situation.
"What?" she asks in panic.
"Nothing," I laugh in innocence.
"Oh, please, it's not like you've never done one," she accuses.
"What?" I ask, laughing at how ridiculous that is. "No! Never!"
"Relax, it was a joke," she hits my arm. "But, seriously, I haven't seen you in a few days. How far along are you guys?"
"You're making it sound like I'm pregnant Christina," I accuse, trying to steer clear of intimate talk.
"Are you?" she asks, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips suggestively.
"No!" I shriek.
"Fine, fine," she says. "But I want to hear everything!"
"No, not everything," I insist, too shy to be able to talk like that.
"Oh, please. He was your instructor, you were an initiate. Things must be kinky hot, come on!"
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, regretting coming here in the first place. What made me think this was a good idea in the first place?
"Do you guys role play at all?" she asks.
This is the part where I would spit out my metaphorical drink.
"What? No!"
"Will and I once did. I pretended to be you and he was Four," she gushes.
I give her the craziest look and she laughs under the pressure. "Joking!" she saves herself.
"But seriously, I can help you in that department. If you need to ask me something, then ask it. I know you're afraid but I think I can kind of help you get around that."
"How?" I ask her noncommittally.
"Because maybe if you know things and you're able to talk and vent, then you'll be more ready," she says sweetly.
"I don't know, I mean . . ." I start. "I'm very private about that type of stuff. I don't know."
"Then give my advice a try. There's nothing to lose, Tris."
I sigh, about to except her offer when she adds, "Except your virginity!"
I roll my eyes. "Fine. I'll tell you a little. But I want you to fully understand that I know you're doing this because you're it's obsessed with my love life."
"That," she says, pointing at me and slowly talking, "is totally . . . true."
I smile at how correct I am. I feel proud. But the moment I start sharing, I know my private life with Tobias has just been invaded. I don't divulge too much. But just enough to make me feel like a boy-crazy girl.
And I am. I'm drunk in love with Tobias Eaton.
+ + +
An hour later, we are far away from the subjects we were at forty five minutes ago. Thank the Lord.
After a long discussion about the initiates and comparing them to our year, she finally asks, "Where did Four go, anyway?"
"Out to the bar with the guys," I say, raising my eyebrows.
"Ah," she says, placing her drink of Ayer down on the table. Then, contemplating an idea, she adds, "Why don't we crash that party?"
I smile, thinking I'll get to see Tobias sooner than I thought. "Yes! That, my friend, is a perfect idea."
She smiles victoriously. "Let's go then," she says, lifting her jacket.
+ + +
Christina immediately runs to will the moment she sees him on the bar stool. Unapologetically, she kisses him with full-on tongue. So much for no P.D.A. I think about how she promised me that on the way here.
I approach Zeke, unable to locate Tobias. "Hey Zeke," I say, getting his attention. "Where's Four?"
He just shrugs and turns around, ignoring me. On occasion when he is drunk, he's rude to me. I have no idea why. I just live with it. He's my boyfriend's best friend.
I make my way across the crowded floor where people are dancing. I try to look over the swarm of dancers but, as always, I'm too short to see over their heads.
"Hey there," I hear an unfamiliar voice say as arms wrap around me. The man with black hair behind me starts to grind on me. "Wanna dance, gorgeous?"
"No thanks," I blurt, quickly pushing away from the stranger.
Scurrying further across, I finally spot Tobias with a beer in hand. But he's not alone.
Madison stands there in a skimpy black dress she must have bought with her initiate points just for the occasion. To seduce my boyfriend.
Her hand is on his chest and I can tell by the look on his face that she is blurry to him.
"Are you sure you don't want to dance?" she asks, pleading into his eyes. Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure he's not looking at hers. No. He's looking down at her chest. It's almost completely exposed in that awful dress.
Is that even qualified as clothes? I ask to myself. I try not to get angry. I'm not. I'm fuming.
"Okay, sure," he says. "One dance is--"
I interrupt, stepping almost in between them. "Oh, hey Four. How's your night going?" I say with a fake smile.
His eyes widen as he realizes it's me. Did he even remember that he had a girlfriend? Or is he just shit-faced drunk?
Probably the latter.
"Oh, he and I were about to dance, so if you don't mind," Madison says with pseudo-kindness. She waves me away with her hand and I turn back to Four.
"Well then, enjoy your night. Hope you get laid," I add as I almost run away. When I slam open the exit door, I break into a sprint toward my apartment. I'm not even sure it warrants the pronoun our anymore. Because I'm not sure there will be an our after this.
My feet thudding and echoing throughout the halls distracts me with the pain I'm feeling. It's in every limb of my body but my heart feels as though is has a few dozen tons on top, crushing it.
Tears stain a pathway across my face, burning against my skin.
So this is what it feels like to be heartbroken . . . .
"Tris!" I hear a distant voice call. I hardly hear it, my ears have stopped working. I run even faster, finally reaching the doorway. I fumble with the keys, letting myself in and locking I behind me.
I pant against the door, banging my hands against it. I want to scream. Louder than I ever have.
I jump away from the door when there's banging coming from the opposite side. "Tris," Four calls. "Tris, please open up!"
Blind and furious rage replaces the heartache, making it subside even for a moment. "Stay away!" I yell, wiping my tears.
"Tris," he begs, his voice cracking. "Tris."
I walk away from the door, knowing it's locked. I sit on the couch, clenching my hands tightly. Our love was like a fortress. I thought it was unbreakable and strong. I thought it would stay standing forever.
But every fortress has a weakness. Madison was ours.
I groan, squinting my eyes. I jump when I hear a jangle from the door. Four walks inside guiltily. "You forgot I have a key," he says, holding it up and throwing it to the side table.
He approaches me slowly and cautiously. I ignore him. "Tris," he says. "I'm sorry."
I ignore him and stand up, not able to look at him in the eye. He places his hands on my waist, trying to pull me to him. "Get away from me," I burst in a low growl, batting away his hands.
"Look at me," he urges. I don't. I can't bear it. He repeats himself.
I look downward at the floor. His hand gently moves my chin up to look at him.
"I'm sorry," he repeats.
"Sorry won't cut it!" I snap, grabbing his arm with a vice-like grip and throwing it away from me.
"But that's what I am, Tris. I am completely and utterly sorry. I was completely drunk, I hardly even knew who I was talking to or looking at. I shouldn't have gotten that way."
"Well, you look fine now," I spit out, giving him a hard glare.
"Yeah, I guess people tend to sober up when the love of their life runs out in tears," he says, his voice weak.
"There's a reason for that. And it's you!" He flinches at that. "I didn't just run out! I was there to surprise you! I thought you'd be happy. I didn't think, even for a second, I would walk in on you and Madison having a moment!"
"We weren't having a moment," he defends in earnest.
"You accepted her offer to dance and you had her practically naked and pressed against you. I think that's a moment, Four."
His mouth opens to protest but I am quick to ask, "Why?" My voice is suddenly weak and fragile.
He's at a loss for words. "Why?" I scream. "Why did you do that? I thought you loved me!"
"I do," he begs, a single tear dropping from his eye. "I do love you."
I push him and his eyes darken with anger at that. "Am I not good enough?" I demand. "You needed more?"
He grunts in anger. "Oh and we're back to this now, aren't we?" His regret and shame are completely replaced with frustration and anger. Just like me.
"Back to what, Four?" I ask him.
He seems wounded that I addressed him so callously but it doesn't faze him. "Back to when you thought you weren't enough! What the hell got inside your head, Tris?"
"Maybe because I just saw you and Madison tangled together at the bar. What got inside yours? If you're here just to yell at me and treat me like I'm some nuisance for being upset that you were about to cheat on me, then just leave!"
"This is my apartment, I don't leave," he says roughly.
I stare at him and I don't recognize him. He looks the same, but it's not the same person. It's not the same person whose strong arms protect me, whose hand guides me. This is the Four who doesn't give a shit about what other people think about him. Who would practically cheat on his girlfriend.
My bottom lip quivers and I let a single tear fall down from my cheek. "Fine," I say, pushing past him and heading for the door. His face seems to sober up from his anger when he realizes that he hurt me. Yet again.
He stops me as I reach for the door. "Let me leave your apartment, then, Four," I say, my voice strong even when I don't feel it within myself.
"I'm sorry," he says desperately, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
"Really? Because it sure did sound like it when you said it."
"Tris, I'm so sorry. I made everything worse. I'm so stupid. Please let me explain. We can sit down and--"
"No," I simply.
"No?" he asks, panic in his eyes and fear strangling his voice.
"No. We're done," I say angrily, pushing past his now still body and leaving. I slam the door behind me, looking around the hallway.
A slow clap rounds the corner. Peter. "Man, you really fucked up, didn't you Stiff?" he says with a smug grin.
My nostrils flare as I send a punch to his nose, running past him in fury. I'm sleeping over Christina's.
I sprint over there, my hair tangling as I run and my tears sliding off my cheeks with the wind. I pass by a few people.
I can't believe I was so oblivious his whole time. Of course, I fall and I trust and I love only to have my heart broken for the first time. I'm crushed.
I knock on Christina's door and she answers almost immediately. She looks behind her as she answers the door and says, "I had to bring Will back because he was so--" She turns and gets a good look at me.
"Can I sleep here?" I ask her.
"Oh my god," she says, wrapping me in her arms. And that's when I really cry. It all comes out.
"He was gonna. Cheat on me," I manage between my fast and heavy breathing. "With Madison. And we had a fight. About it. And he told me. To leave. It hurts."
"Oh my gosh," she whispers. "Come inside," she says, stroking my back. "You can stay here and we can talk about it if you want."
I bite my lip, looking at her as she ushers me inside. From the hallway before the door closes, I hear Peter's voice.
"The Stiff okay?" he asks obnoxiously.
"Fuck off," she says, slamming the door.
She has me sleep on the couch. I don't sleep for a while. All I do is cry. I can't do this. I don't know what 'this' is, but I just can't do it.
Maybe 'this' is Dauntless, or life, or work. I don't know what it is, but I hate it. I hate it with everything in me.
I sleep for five hours. And they are the worst hours of sleep in my life.
A/N
Poor Tris...Wow, anyone see that coming?
Leave feedback please and don't hate me for this chapter, hate the characters lol. It was coming whether you liked it or not :(
And yay for me! Long chapter and two updates in a day :))