After another night of no sleep, I decided to invite Harry out for coffee the next morning. No, it was not a date. I would never go on a date with that child, no offense to any fans in love with him, but he can really just annoy the crap out of me. I threw on my Urban Outfitter's Daisy Tee and a pair of high waisted shorts before topping it off with a black beanie and some black converse as I ran out the hotel room to meet up with Harry downstairs. Yes, we were still in Paris. The boys were doing their second show here tonight and had an interview and some other celebrity stuff tomorrow, so that added a few more days here, not that anyone minded. Paris was a nice place to be; very fun and unique.
Down in the lobby, I found Harry hanging out by the front desk with his phone out. He looked up and smiled at me quickly. I walked over to him and we greeted each other promptly as we were lead outside by two security guards. We'd normally only have one but given my circumstances, we had two (thanks Louis). I swear he is the most overprotective boy in the world. But I kind of like it.
Even in Paris there was a Starbucks on every corner, so we were able to find one within five minutes and no getting mobbed by fans. That's already a successful day if you ask me: coffee and privacy.. woohoo. It was pretty late in the morning, almost eleven, so a few people were in the warm store, but the line wasn't pouring out the door. I ordered my usual Iced Mocha and Harry ordered some sort of frappucchino. We got our drinks and Harry somehow won the argument of who would pay, saying I could next time, which we all knew would be a lie. Curse those charming boys. We sat down at a table in the back and Harry looked at me, waiting for me to say something because I obviously wouldn't invite him for coffee just to hang out.
"Eleanor came yesterday. She told me you called her." I said, moving my straw around the creamy liquid. "Hm, yeah she said she would drop by while we were here in Paris since I guess she was visiting with her friends. How'd that go?" he asked, taking a sip of his drink. "It was good, I guess. I think it helped, but I can't really tell now. I haven't had a lot of time to think about it within the last twenty-four hours. "I know and I'm sorry we're all sort of pressuring you about it, I just really want to help you and Lou because you guys are always looking miserable. I'm his best mate, it's what I'm supposed to do."
"Yeah, I understand that well given that I've also been his best friend for a very long time. But I think everyone needs to just leave this to us. We're big kids, we can handle it. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. No one should have to force us into doing anything." I said and Harry nodded. We sat in silence for a minute, both looking around the windows, watching the people of Paris go by. "So how are you?" Harry finally spoke up. Oh God, the dreaded question I get every ten seconds of my life. Seriously, all my friends are starting to sound like therapists. "Okay. Tired and a little jumpy, but fine nonetheless. I'm just trying to forget about it." I sighed. "Yeah, sorry about bringing it up then." Harry said as his phone dinged and he looked down to check the notification.
"Oh, Zayn says we should get back now. Niall and Marlee are at it again and they need a girl's help, don't know what that means but we should probably hurry." Harry shrugged his shoulders and I laughed a little. We threw our now empty cups away into the trash and took off towards the hotel. It was now about eleven thirty and the streets of Paris were filled with people going to work along with many foreigners on vacation. I stayed close to Harry the whole time, not wanting to get lost in the big crowd of people. I looked to my left and saw a mad walking in our direction at a quick pace. He had short blonde hair and dark sunglasses on. His face was a recognizable shape and he was carrying a large backpack on his left shoulder. Connor? My heartbeat quickened when I realized how much this man looked like the second most feared man I knew. How did he find me? What happens when he sees me? Can I run? Do I grab Harry and take him with me? What if my dad is here too? What if they are both after me?
My thoughts of terror are interrupted when someone touches my shoulder and I jump, stopping in the middle of the street. "You okay, Em?" Harry asks me, looking concerned. I look back over to my left and see the man whom I believed to be Connor completely out of sight. I let out a sigh of relief and turned back to Harry, "yeah, just a little claustrophobic, I guess. No big deal though, the crowd is thinning out." I said and Harry smiled, leading me out of the crowd and towards the hotel which we could now see about sixty feet away.
Yeah, and that's not the first time I've been spooked today. The bellhop in the lobby looked like my dad from a distance and the back of his head. That seriously almost made me run back for the elevator so I could go run to my room and hide under the covers like a five year old afraid of monsters. But, truly, my dad and Connor were monsters. Real life monsters. Ones that couldn't just disappear with a lullaby. I put those thoughts in the back of my mind as we walked back into the hotel lobby where luckily the creepy familiar looking bellhop was no longer working in. I feel like I'm living in a horror movie. I just wish people in the audience would yell at me, telling me not to go in the closet where the killer was hiding.
I could practically already hear Marlee and Niall screaming at each other, maybe even throwing a couple glass vases around the room. Everyone was in Niall's room when we got there, basically watching the two as their heads exploded. Every once in a while, one of the boys would try and pull Marlee away, but she would quickly slap them away and continue fighting with the Irish man. But hey, Niall is a 'fighting Irish' so it went both ways. Hopefully this hadn't gone on all night. I wouldn't know since I was on the other side of the hallway. But I hope that Zayn and Liam were able to get some sleep, unlike me.
"Why don't you go hang out with your precious new Australian hottie boyfriend, huh? I'm sure you wouldn't have to waist your voice on him!" Niall yelled. "He isn't my boyfriend and he never will be! Just because I hang out with the guy doesn't mean I'm in love with him! God, Niall, you are so stupid!" Marlee waved her hands in the air. "Oh, so I'm stupid now? What about when I helped you study for your exam last year? Please, Marlee, I got you that A!"
"Both of you, shut up!" I yelled over them, pushing them apart. I walked over to Niall and said, "Niall, Marlee and I were hanging out with the 5 Seconds of Summer lads to make you jealous and to escape the fighting for a bit. Trust me, she loves you more than anyone else in the world." I then turned to Marlee: "And you, well, making Niall jealous may not have been the most mature thing to do in this situation. Maybe instead of yelling at each other, you should let each other speak their mind and talk it out, equally."
"Oh really? So this is coming from the girl who is constantly fighting with Louis even though they’re both mad-" Marlee cuts Niall off. "She's right, actually. Niall this is stupid, immature, whatever. I hate fighting with you and I'm sorry. We need to be civil and talk it out, yelling just makes it worse. So if you'll have me, I'd really like for you to take me out on a nice lunch date so we can do exactly that." Marlee smiled at bit and everyone else sighed, hoping that the fighting was finally over. It took a moment, but Niall finally sighed, smiled a bit, and said "Alright, babe. Let's go, I saw a nice place we could try a few blocks down." He pecked her on the lips before taking her hand and walking her out the door. As they left, Marlee looked over at me and mouthed the words 'thank you'. I smiled and let the two lovebirds go. Niall was right about me and Louis though. I was being totally hypocritical. Louis and I fight all the time and even though we aren't dating, we need to learn to just talk things over or this relationship everyone wants to happen won't last a month. And guess what? I'm actually sad about that.
"Thank the Lord for you, Miss Emma!" Liam exclaimed, snapping me out of my thoughts as he came running and gave me a hug. I laughed, these boys have been suffering, even if it wasn't their relationship. "No problem, it wasn't even that hard. They just needed some sense knocked into them." I said and everyone laughed. "Okay well, I think we'll all go rest before sound check in a few hours." Zayn decided and the boys nodded. "Think you'll be okay without us all, Em?" Harry asked. "Yeah I'm fine, I have to call my mum anyway." I remembered that I needed to do that, just to make sure she was alright after the news we had just received. The guys all left not long after that and I followed them, heading down the hall to my room. I was about to put my key into the lock when someone touched my arm. I almost screamed, but then saw the familiar bird tattoo: Louis. I looked up at him and smiled, but he didn't smile back.
"Emma, can I come in? We really need to talk." He spoke in a serious tone, deep blue eyes creepily staring into my soul. Haha, just kidding, but he was staring at me looking concerned like Harry was earlier. I sighed and opened the door, letting him into the room. He took a seat on the bed and I sat next to him not a moment later.
"How are you? And don't give me that 'okay' shit, I know damn well that's a lie." his words stunned me, he almost sounded angry. But I knew that wasn't what he was trying to do when he gently touched my knee, taking his hand back a few seconds later and setting it in his lap. "I'm really paranoid. I was out for all of half and hour and was already freaking out that some man looked like my dad or Connor and was out to get me." I spoke and he nodded, urging me to go on as he knew there was more I needed to say. "And I'm afraid, of course, for you guys and my mum. I would rather have something happen to me than any of you, that would be horrid." I shuttered, just thinking of the idea.
"I know that. But how are you dealing with.. you know.." he went off, knowing that I didn't want him to say it out loud. I sighed and took a deep breath. "It's alright, not as good as normal, but the meds are still helping. I've been having some trouble sleeping and some bad headaches, but I can manage."
"Okay, but what are you not feeling?" Gosh, he knows me too well. He wasn't even around for the worst of it years ago, but he still knows what's going on inside of my head. "Well, I don't really know what to do, with anything. I have no plans, no answers to any one's questions, and I just can't seem to understand much anymore." I sighed, rubbing my forehead.
"Are you having any bad memories or nightmares?" he asked and instantly the one from just a few nights ago pops into my head. My throat gets dry and I feel like if I speak I'll cry, so I just nod my head. Louis sighed and puts his head in between his knees, running his fingers through his hair.
"I'm feeling it again. All of it," I almost choked on my own words, "Guilty, hopeless, empty, and worthless. But now it's much, much worse." I sniveled. Louis shot up immediately and scooted closer to me. The second his arms touched me, tears began to shed ever so quietly.
"No. No no no no no, Emma. You shouldn't have to feel any of that, ever. This could never be your fault and it never was in the first place, it was him and him alone. You didn't know and you couldn't avoid it, he is your father. And they've got people searching for him all over the globe, they're going to catch him and we'll all be fine. I won't let him near you, either. I told your mum I would take care of you and protect you on this tour and that is exactly what I'm going to do." I try to nod my head, hoping that it will somehow make everything better for me. But I can't believe him, I don't know why, but it just won't happen.
"Emma, before you argue with me, you're worth everything. We all care about you- your friends, family, even the One Direction fans- so, so much. You are one of the most kind, funny, and genuinely beautiful people I have ever met in all my years. You think of everyone else before yourself and that is what makes you, you, but this time you need to believe us when we tell you that you are just as important, if not more, than the rest of us. We all rely on you so much, you saw how you helped Marlee and Niall today. We need you, and we won't have you for long if you keep feeling this way."
I slowly begin to calm down and Louis helps me dry my face from the stained mascara and few dripping tears. I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him close. If only he knew how much that meant to me. It may not have done much for now, but it will help me little by little. It's enough for now.
"I just want to help you stop worrying and feeling this way. You're safe and you always will be, I promise. So let's try and be normal, or at least your usual self. Just have fun and enjoy the moments you have here with us all before the tour ends, that's all we want for you, Em."
"I know, and I'll try. Thanks for that, Louis." I try to smile at him, but it comes out feeling pretty pathetically fake. "Of course, now, would you like to come with me to lunch? I don't really need to rest before the show. Plus, we could spy on Niall and Marlee." he smirked and I giggled, nodding my head as he grabbed my hand and ran out of the room.
My little five-year-old best friend and me. Sure, he can be silly and immature at times, but he has his intelligent, caring moments. With both of those wonderful personalities, Louis became my best friend, and he still is. I've never really recognized these little things about him, but now that I am, I couldn't imagine my condition without him. I could be dead for all I know. Louis is my rock: unbreakable and unmoveable. He's persistent and strong-minded, not taking no for answer. But I'm glad he never did. I rejected Louis so many times, I was so rude to him, and he dealt with it like it was just another rainy day in England. But it wasn't, it was horrible and I regret all of it. Becuase now, I see that Louis is truly perfect and he always has been; absolutely perfect for me.
(A/N: Okay so this was short and choppy, but I really needed it because it talked about some important things. It's when Connor is offically welcomed back into the story, we see the developing friendship between Harry and Emma growing, Nalree makes up, and we are introduced to Emma's run in with depression (not to mention a cute Lemma moment!) So even if it's not what you wanted, it all had to happen before the next chapter. Speaking of that, the next chapter will be more exciting and I hope everyone is looking forward to it! I love writing this story and I'd like to send a massive thank you to everyone reading this! It amazes me that so many of you actually like my writing and bother to read it weekly, so thanks so much! And recieving comments from you always brightens my day, even if its just a question about the plot, I love getting to speak to people reading my story. Connecting with you guys I think is just what makes me want to write more, and that's pretty cool if you ask me! So do not be afraid to comment something on this story or send me a message on my profile! I try to respond to most, but I appreciate them all! Even if someone tells me 'oh, you're writing is horrible and really cheesy' I am grateful becuase it shows me what I need to work on. So please comment vote and share this crazy story! Love you guys, hopefully talk to you soon! xoxo -Katie)