"Every kiss I can't forget,
This aching heart is not broken yet.
Oh God, I wish I could make you see."
"We shouldn't be doing this," Yuko said under his breath, before pulling away a fraction. Only enough for there to be a distance between our lips.
"Why not?" I questioned, cursing myself for sounding so pathetic and needy.
Get a hold of yourself!
Yuko blinked, placing his hand on my shoulder and widening the distance between us.
"We...I don't-," he began, tripping over his words and looking flustered. It was a rather strange sight to see. Usually, Yuko was composed and calm. Not blushing and stuttering.
I leaned against the door frame, wrapping my arms around my waist gingerly. I stared at him with accusing eyes, wondering if maybe he had lied all along. Maybe he and Siobhan still had some sort of thing going on between them, and was just carried away in the moment with me. Yes, that must be it, right?
"Don't look at me like that," he groaned, running his hand haphazardly through his hair.
Raising an eyebrow and jutting out my chin in an act of defiance, I asked: "What do you mean?"
A question that doesn't accuse or imply, but has enough weight on it for him to know exactly what I was referring to.
"Like I just kicked a puppy, Ris. Are you upset because I stopped kissing you?" he muttered, eyeing me curiously. His eyes flashed with some kind of emotion, one I was unfamiliar with.
Or one you refuse to be familiar with?
Just as quickly as I had turned the tables onto him, he turned it back around. My cheeks flamed red, and I frowned slightly.
"Well?" he pushed.
"My god, Yuko! Who even asks questions like that? Have people ever told you that you are way too blunt for your own good?" I snapped in exasperation. Cocking his head to one side, he continued to stare at me with his curious eyes.
"You are avoiding my question," he said. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"
I threw my arms up in frustration, before palming my forehead in defeat.
"Obviously," I muttered. I found out that when Yuko wanted answers, he wanted answers. There was no means of escaping his grasp when he sets his sights on you.
"Why is that?" he continued to ask. I was half expecting him to whip out a notepad and start jotting down everything I say.
"You sound like my therapist," I deadpanned.
"You're changing the subject again."
"Alright, you are really starting to sound like my therapist and it's getting creepy," I warned.
"Marissa," Yuko said, closing his eyes.
"Yuko," I retorted, looking him dead in the eye.
"Do you want me to kiss you again?" he asked, pursing his lips. "From what I can observe-"
"Am I a bloody zoo animal, Yuko?" I snapped, placing a hand on one hip.
Yuko's eyes widened slightly and he shook his head, "No, I-"
"What kind of person asks questions like that? For god's sake, of course I want you to kiss me again!" I practically yelled, before realising my mistake. Eyes widening, I covered my mouth in mortification.
"Oh my god. Fuck my life," I whispered, my voice muffled behind my hand.
"Why didn't you just say so?" Yuko asked, again with his questions. Only this time, he took a step closer and gently pulled the hand covering my mouth away.
"Because you...you stopped," I muttered. "I thought you didn't want-"
As if I flicked a switch, realisation dawned in his eyes again and he shut down completely.
He stopped mid-step, lips set into a thin line. Nodding, he murmured, "That's right. We shouldn't."
It was quite amazing how one person can lift you up so high for a moment and then let you crash and fall the next. The hurt must've reflected in my eyes, or perhaps he had already made the assumption, because he sighed under his breath.
"It's not that I don't like you Marissa," he said quietly. I refused to meet his eye. Instead, I shut him up before he could say anything more to crush my already teetering self-esteem.
"Save it, Yuko. I'm tired. I'm going to sleep," I said monotonously, and without another word, turned around and stalked back into my room.
Even though our interaction felt like it lasted an eternity, I was surprised to see that we only spoke for a little over half an hour. Laying in my bed, I stared at the ceiling blankly, wondering what made him stop.
Maybe it's because I'm not exactly a good person, I thought to myself. If I were him, I probably wouldn't like me, too.
It came as no surprise that I wasn't the heroine or the protagonist. I was just barely balancing between being sort-of decent and well, straight up evil. It was like I wasn't even good enough to be the main antagonist or villain. I was just...there. A dirty stain that doesn't quite match but kind of does, if you don't look closely enough.
I wrinkled my nose, yawning loudly. I felt the fatigue take over my body, and the earlier restlessness faded into a dull, persistent knocking against my head. My heavy eyelids drooped, and for once I welcomed the much needed sleep that distracted me from all the questions I couldn't find the answer to.
-
"Good morning," Logan greeted happily, plopping down onto the tatami mat where most of us say cross-legged in front of the wooden table. Laid across the tables were various assortments of traditional Japanese breakfast foods, and my stomach rumbled in excitement.
Asher grunted in response to Logan's overly cheery morning greeting, before closing his eyes and resting his head on Emily's shoulder. The right side of her lips tugged into a small, serene smile as she ate her breakfast in content silence.
"Rough night?" I asked, glancing at Emily for an answer. Emily shook her head and giggled, "Slept like a baby. He's just a grump in the morning."
"I can hear you, Emmy," Asher grumbled under his breath, eyes still closed. Emily blushed slightly, her smile turning into a full-fledged grin.
"What about you?" Logan asked, directing his question at me. "You look kind of..."
He trailed off when he realised that he practically just insulted me.
"Shitty?" I offered, laughing slightly. Logan smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.
"Ahh...I don't mean it like that, Marissa. You know that I know you're beautiful," Logan said, tips of his ears turning a faint pink. It was just then when Yuko strolled into the room, Siobhan trailing behind him with a smile on her face. She seemed extremely joyful this morning, not even bothering to glare at me once she seated herself directly opposite me.
Yuko stared at me, and unfathomable emotion crossing his eyes, before glancing at Logan.
"Morning, Yuko!" Logan said, "Morning, Siobhan."
Yuko smiled without teeth, nodding politely before sitting down.
"Where's Robin?" Logan asked, breaking the comfortable silence. By now, most of the food had vanished form the table. I blinked, looking around only to discover that the leader of the Royals was indeed a no-show.
"He's not feeling well," Asher answered vaguely, glancing at me quickly before turning away. "He said he wanted to stay in bed when I went to wake him up just now."
Siobhan pursed her lips, eyebrows furrowing in concern. "Are you sure? You know he's-"
"-fine. He's fine," Asher interjected firmly, casting her a warning glance. "No one goes into his room. He need rest."
It was strange how he could sound so casual yet so final at the same time. Suspicion began to brew in my stomach, but I tried my best to dull the curiosity. It was none of my business, after all.
No one bothered- or dared, to argue with Asher. Breakfast went on without a hitch.
After breakfast, we all split into our separate groups. Asher suggested we go out to the lake and relax under the blossoming cherry blossom trees, while Yuko offered to show us his game room. I ended up opting to follow Asher, along with Logan and Emily.
I ignored the way my heart spiked when Siobhan hooked her arm around Yuko's and walked up the stairs to his game room with him.
It was probably then, when my stomach dropped and a feeling of dread took over me. Oh. Oh no.
Oh yes, the cheeky part of me giggled.
I don't want to like him.
We do!
When did I even start liking him? I thought I hated him at first, and then we became friends, and now...now this.
Oh god, the lines are so blurred that I can't even differentiate right from wrong!
"Are you alright, Marissa? You look a little sick," Emily asked softly, concern etched into her features. I nodded dumbly, "I'm alright."
Her eyes followed mine and she stared after Yuko and Siobhan, a look of understanding flashing in her eyes.
"Come on," she said, tugging at my arm gently. I thanked God that she didn't question me about Yuko, even though she clearly knew something was up.
-
I realised my mistake of following them to the garden. Asher and Emily were sat under a big cherry blossom tree, whispering to each other and occasionally laughing at their secret jokes while the younger Hideyoshi joined us after she woke up and was currently annoying Logan Marshall, if that was even possible.
"Logan!"
"No, Reiko...just, stop, please."
Their faint banter travelled through the peaceful, crisp air and into my ears. Never would I have imagined that Logan would be annoyed at anyone.
I watched, with amusement, as Reiko practically jumped onto his back and begged him to piggyback her around the garden. Was this girl really sixteen? And, is she really one of the world's most sought after model? I laughed under my breath at her child-like behaviour, and Logan's exasperation.
"Please!"
"Fine! Just one round," Logan grumbled, adjusting her on his back before grumpily walking around the large garden.
"Slow down, you old hag!" Reiko chided, ruffling his hair.
Logan groaned, "First of all, I am far from old. Second of all, stop abusing me!"
"You love it!"
"I really don't."
I glanced at Asher and Emily, and then back at Logan and Reiko, suddenly feeling extremely alone. Perhaps it would be better if I just returned to my room and sulked and think about Yuko and the kiss and- no, bad girl!
Pouting slightly, I gathered the little things I had brought out to the garden with me and stood up. Dusting my hands against my thighs, I debated telling the others that I was heading back into the house, but then decided not to disturb them.
With a sigh, I started on the lonely walk back to the house.
-
Hello guys! Hope you like the chapter (even a lil) :) I'm down with a really bad flu & cough and it's just been a whole shit ride, but I'm recovering soon! Hopefully I'll be able to resume singing for Thursday's concert in school hehe :P
Okay, this is just me rambling but yup have a great week guys <3
Song of the Chapter: Time For Miracles, by Adam Lambert.