(Charlotte)
"Erik?"
At the sound of my voice, his head slowly raised along with his eyes. The sight before me made my breath hitch in my throat; he was utterly broken. He still had his Red Death mask on, but even I could see through the darkness of the eyeholes to his eyes. They were bloodshot and glossy from the plethora of tears spilling from them. I caught the tremble of his bottom lip as his breathing shook.
"Y-You shouldn't stay," he mumbled hoarsely while tilting his head low again, gazing at the necklace in his hands. The one he gave me for Christmas burned around my neck now as well as the ring on my finger. Glancing down, I noticed the slight glow of each blue gem. "It's not appropriate for a woman to see a...a man cry..." He whispered lowly, restraining another sob.
My heart snapped into pieces. "What's appropriate doesn't matter in times like this, Erik," I said gently, inching closer to his huddled form. "You're hurt, and I can't stand to see you like this. Your pain hurts me." By then, my voice was just a hushed whisper. Then, I caught the sight of his shattered blue eyes again.
"Christine betrayed me..." He whispered dully, rising slowly from the damp floor. His body was stiff and shaken, but he stood straighter like nothing was wrong. Though, his eyes held all the sadness in the world. "She...she..." His expression suddenly contorted to anger, and in one swift motion, he swung his fist at the wall.
A gasp escaped my lips at the loud crack that sounded over his furious growl. "Erik!" I sprang forward and grabbed ahold of his trembling hand. It must have broken something in there because it was oddly warm and tense. God, why would he wish to inflict harm upon himself?! Christine is gone now. She chose who she wanted, and she needed to leave. Not trying to put anything negative on her.
"Erik, please," I pleaded while holding his hand close to my chest. "Stop hurting yourself like this. It won't fix anything, and it especially won't heal your pain." My chin rested lightly upon my hands as I caressed his injured one gently. I could feel the pulsing of his veins under my touch.
He stayed silent for a moment, but he then pulled out of my grasp with a long, low sigh. "Yes, it will," he muttered, rubbing his injury. "Pain is always the answer. For me, anyways. I deserve the pain, the hurt. My whole life is a mishap, an encumbrance. Bearing pain, I will get what I deserve."
"No," I sharply remarked. "No, you do not deserve pain. You are a man, like any other, that feels and has a heart. You have a soul, Erik. And souls do not deserve pain and suffering."
"You are wrong, woman," he muttered unevenly, turning away from me. "I am a demon. And demons need to be whipped and lashed with cruelty. I am a burden on the living."
That killed me on the inside. No, he was the wrong one. He never saw himself as what he truly was; a beautiful man with the most angelic and pure heart. I stepped closer to him and kept my eyes on his hunched figure facing away from me. "You're not a burden," I stated firmly. "If anyone is to be branded with that name...it is me." This caused him to lift his head slightly. But he didn't turn around yet.
"I feel like I'm intruding and pressuring your life ever since that night," I continued quietly. "I do not want to cast any more stress upon you after this difficult event in your life," with a wavering whisper, a flood of shame infiltrated my soul. He has put up with me from the very beginning. How? After all Christine has been putting him through, how could he want another woman around, even just as a friend?
He is much more than a friend, my mind hummed.
Yes, but he doesn't need me around to add more hassle. I am a nuisance, just as...as Nikolai had said. "Charlotte," Erik's voice sounded closely, drawing me from my depressing thoughts. He was facing me now, an undetectable emotion lingering in his eyes. "You are nothing close to a burden; instead, an angel, a goddess. Your bright and caring presence, in fact, relieves me of my stress. Please," he then took hold of my trembling hands," do not sell yourself short of what you really are. You are the blessing in my life. Without you..." his voice trailed slightly, "...I would be dead because of the haunting and controlling voices in my mind. Christine's choice has driven me into a dark place inside of me, the corrupt void of my heart and head. But you have kept me from fulfilling my mind's desires. You are what keeps me sane; you make me feel...normal."
By now, my cheeks were stinging with blush. How could he cause me such pain, and yet, at the same time, make me feel loved and adored? What was it about this man that drove my heart to race a thousand miles, made my breath catch in my throat, caused my chest to flutter with flocks of butterflies? It wasn't an effect from his voice. It couldn't be. Sure, it's power could move me to tears or fill my spirit with a strange happiness...
But... I was never entranced like Christine was. If anything, I was mesmerized by his adoring eyes. They saw into my soul and looked beneath the broken girl I was on the inside. He understood me as I, him. I understand just about everything he has went through because of my understanding of life. Frankly, it doesn't come close to his at all, but I've had similar experiences. And those experiences knit a bond between us that nobody else can share. And it has placed the warmest feelings inside me. It's...pleasant and comforting, but also frightening from the intensity of their power.
A light caught my peripheral vision, and I glanced down toward the source. My eyes widened as I saw the vibrant blue glow radiating from my right hand where the ring Erik had given me was sitting. The jewel was glowing iridescently, causing a warm shock to race up my arm. That same feeling lingered about my neck and ears.
"Charlotte."
I tore my gaze away from my bright jewelry to meet Erik's eyes.
"If you do not mind," he started as my mind became conscious that our hands were still locked together. "I would ask, with your permission, for that dance that I missed out on earlier with you," his eyes danced in the dimness instead of swimming like before. A few candelabra hung along the walls, but not enough to illumine details like his face. It was still quite dim. But I could see his vibrant eyes clearly, searching my own deeply.
Restraining my pounding heart, I nodded and silently wondered what dance he was implying. His face lowered close to mine but lingered a few inches back. "Are you familiar with an Argentine Tango?" He asked lowly, a small grin curling at his misshapen lips. Nodding again, I let Erik's hands guide mine into place; one in his to the side, and one upon his upper back while his planted on my lower. He must've looked past his injury because he showed not an ounce of discomfort from using it. His voice rumbled richly next to my ear as he leaned forward more.
"Allow me, I will take lead."
Then, he stepped with a fluid rhythm. I matched it as we scaled the tunnel distance, slowly getting to a beat. With a twirl, I felt his leg whip out and curl around my own, spinning me to the other side. My heart jumped in excitement as we began a battle with our legs.
His hands lost contact of mine when he spun me around another time. Instead, they planted firmly on my waist as mine stretched up above my head. His touch sent a burning fire across my skin and down my winding spine. He twisted me around again and held my back, dipping me low and swooping me up again in a dive-like action.
A silent melody played around us in synchronization as our minds linked as one. The same moves and steps processed through our heads while we performed immaculately in the tunnel below the surface. My eyes never left his, and there was a strong pull and concentration between us that never seemed to break. Even as he spun me and I whirled around him, we hadn't stopped for a moment's rest.
Suddenly, when I wasn't expecting it, Erik lifted me in his arms and smiled as he rolled my body over his shoulders and back down to a pose. To think it'd be difficult with my ballgown on and an injured hand! My heart raced as well as my breathing staggering after such a surprise. Getting back into the 'groove', I shook off my shock and gazed back into his eyes as we carried away with the beat.
Feet here and swinging there, I felt the tango start to draw to an end. I felt Erik's arms draw me close to him for a moment before he slid his hands to my waist and hand. Then, he spun me out arm's length apart and let me go at it for a moment. I used one of my ballet moves to spice up the spin, but I had something else in mind. Stopping and gazing directly into his eyes, he seemed to understand the next move I wanted to do.
Skipping into a slight run, I held my arms out like a bird and flew directly at Erik. Time seemed to slow, but I felt no doubt that he would catch me. He was The Phantom of the Opera. The Opera Ghost. My Erik. He could do whatever he wanted. Nothing was impossible for him.
Springing up as his hands gripped my waist firmly, I felt myself fly off the ground like a bird soaring in the air. He did it, I smiled. He held me up far above his head and twirled me gently, obviously glad too. My heart was on overdrive, racing a million miles in my chest. He could probably hear it if he really listened closely enough.
But I felt myself drop into his arms carefully, and he finished with a strong dip of my body. His face was right above mine as he held me low, gazing unwaveringly into my dazzling eyes. That was amazing. It made my adrenaline rush and my feelings to stir wildly. They swirled about me like flocks of butterflies just waiting to be set free.
But I couldn't... Not yet. He was still in love with Christine. I couldn't make any bold moves yet.
For a few more moments, we longingly stared into each other's eyes as he lifted me to a stand. My cheeks were flushed, no doubt about it, and my skin pricked and tingled where his hands laid. I had to catch my breath subtly so he wouldn't notice my weariness. But I wasn't exactly tired or exhausted. I was full of a rush, of breathless excitement. That was one of the first successful tangos I've ever danced in my life. Normally, I'd just perform ballet. But that was amazing. Our minds were linked as one. It was as if someone had joined our minds together to think exactly and precisely the same.
"You know," I started, breathing a laugh, "I never pictured you performing a tango before. I always thought you to be more the classical waltz type like before." A smile spread into my face. A true smile. And as I gazed into Erik's dazzling azure eyes, a smile curled at his lips too.
He hummed in satisfaction for a moment. His beautiful seas held something that I could barely detect. Adoration? Bonding? Would I dare to say it... Affection? "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, Mademoiselle," he smirked, chuckling richly.
My heart skipped a beat. Or ten.
I let a small laugh ring in the tunnel as he gazed upon me pleasantly. My eyes searched his as I began to wonder. How did he do it? How did he cover up his emotions so well from the naked eye? Right now, it was as if he built a great brick wall to hide his emotions. I couldn't even tell anymore if he was actually happy to be here, or if he was faking it all. Faking the fun we just shared. No, that couldn't have been an act. It felt so real. So... Passionate.
My unvoiced concerns became the better of me and spilled from my unsealing lips. "Are you okay?" The question rang against the walls and echoed softly, and it obviously caught Erik off guard. Catching his confused eye contact, I elaborated. "After everything that's happened tonight. Are you all right?"
Hesitation hung in the chilled air. Goosebumps started to crawl on my skin. After a few silent moments, Erik drew in a deep breath and sighed. "I will be," he murmured while averting his eyes. He stepped back slightly, shoulders slumped, and I stood staring after him.
Part of me wanted to let him grieve. Let him have his alone time. Everyone needed some solitary moments at times. But the other part of me kicked me in the ass to go up to him. To heal his wounds with words of love. He's been alone nearly his whole life. He doesn't need any more of it, at least I think so. No, I know so. I've seen the way he lets off his hurt. I've seen him in darker times. It's about time that I do something to fix that.
It's about time to shed light upon his dark world.
I walked up to Erik's hunched form and set a gentle hand on his shoulder. He picked his head up immediately and turned slightly to look at me with round, curious eyes. My hands took residence at both sides of his face, and I searched his azure seas longingly. My heart raced like lightning, and my chest filled with butterflies along with a burning fire. I felt his hands slowly attach to my waist, and a wave of heat flooded my veins.
There was a pull that drew me closer to him. And he felt it too. As we leaned our faces in closer, I made the mistake of letting my mind wander. A vivid picture came to mind of a woman and a man. Christine and Erik. They were happily together, loving each other with all they had. That will never be me. He loves her. He doesn't love me.
What am I thinking, going to kiss him?
Recoiling back from my attempted action, I slipped from his grasp and backed up. The hurt in his eyes mixed with the overall confusion. What was I doing? I was setting myself up for failure. If I gave him my love, he'd reject it on the spot. He loved Christine.
It's always Christine.
Feeling tears prick my pathetic eyes, I bit my lip harshly and fled the tunnel, leaving Erik behind me. Tears finally spilled from my eyes and down my cheeks as I felt an ache grip my heart. He would never love me back. As I dashed through the twists and turns to my own dormitory, my mind screamed at me harshly.
I'm such a fool!
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
"Hello?"
My voice rang throughout the tunnel right below the surface. I never made it up to my room, mostly because I got lost and heard noises circling me. My face was flushed and damp from my tears, and I finally caught my breath from all the running. My hair was strewn all over in a frizzy mess after my rough movements. Sounds from all around me caused a chill to run down my spine.
Picking up my pace again, I trotted into a fast walk while whipping my head in all directions to check my surroundings. Somebody was there. I could feel their presence. And it wasn't very inviting.
It wasn't Erik.
The faint clicking of shoes made me speed up even more until I hit a hard surface. Gasping aloud, I directed my eyes to the thing in front of me. And by thing, I meant thing. Not a human. No, too grotesque to be human. Demon. His very face made me scramble back and scream.
"Nikolai!" I shrieked as his disgusting hands clamped down upon my arms. He reeked of alcohol, the stench burning my airways as I struggled to breathe correctly. With a shove, he slammed me up against the dank tunnel wall. His dirty face inched closer to mine, his breath stinging my eyes.
"It's about time I caught you again," he slurred lowly with a dry cackle. A sense of déjà vu flooded through me. He's done this before. He's gotten drunk like this and tried to take advantage of me maybe twice before. Panic rose up in my chest. No, he couldn't take away my virtue. It was all I had left that he didn't take.
"Get off of me!" I cried, struggling under his vice grip. Tears of panic fell from my eyes, covering my old tears. Instead of listening to me, he grinned malignly and chuckled like a madman. His teeth were beginning to corrupt from his routine of alcohol consumption. As his mouth came close to mine, I let out another shrill, ear-bleeding scream.
It temporarily halted Nikolai for a moment, but not long enough.
Planting a palm into my forehead, he slammed my head back into the stone and confused my vision. Pain struck my spine and lingered all throughout my head. Dizziness began to form as well as nausea. He growled low in his throat and hissed at me vilely.
"You will keep your trap shut for this, you nuisance," he ground out unclearly, slurring his vowels. Disgusting. He was an utterly disgusting man. Or should I even call him a man? All he ever did was violate and intrude. How did I even love this man before? What changed... What happened to the old Nikolai that I knew before this?
That's right... He died within his alcohol addiction. Now what was left was this perverted drunk.
My tears burned as I was held helplessly up against the wall while the drunken man reached to violate my chest. His hands tore into my bodice and scratched over my skin. I was going to be raped. He would take my virtue and leave me with nothing.
An ear-piercing, distraught scream ripped from my throat and echoed down the tunnels.
(Erik)
I stood unmoving in the darkness, staring after where she fled. She ran nearly a half hour ago, but I still watched, hoping she'd return.
She didn't.
She's probably disgusted with me, I thought with melancholy. Weren't they all? Everyone I've met became horrified with me at some point. Even the Daroga a few times. I can't blame them. I am a monster. I destroy the beautiful things in life.
But... She wanted to kiss me.
Charlotte had come up to me and looked into my eyes. I could read her as well as she could read me. Surprisingly, she actually wanted to kiss me. But she pulled away before either of our lips to come into contact. I couldn't detect if she was disgusted or embarrassed. What did she recoil for? Did something run through her precious mind?
Suddenly, a wailing scream hit my hearing. Tensing up immediately, I turned and ran toward the source. It was a woman's scream. But not just any woman's. It was Charlotte's. She was in danger.
My legs carried me as fast and silently as they could to her destination near the surface. Coming into view, I noticed a man in front of her, violating her body. She was going to be raped... A terrible memory passed through my mind, but I scattered it. My Charlotte was in danger.
But before I could whip out my lasso and kill the vile man, I was shocked when she slammed her knee in between his legs. Surprise hit me at how powerful she was. The man fell to the floor, howling with pain! Little Charlotte sure could pack a punch. Her bravery was quite impressive. And attractive...
Focusing back on the situation, I glared deeply and swooped in the darkness around them. The fool stood up and went to harm Charlotte, but I struck him and clamped my hands around his neck while crushing him to the wall.
"Erik!" Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief. My eyes burned into the man's skull as he choked and gagged under my grip. A wave of insanity washed through my veins, and I felt every urge to make the man suffer a horrible death. My fingers dug into his skin despite the gloves I had on. But before I could fully drain the life out of him, a hand on my shoulder pulled me away.
"Stop," she ordered, looking into my burning eyes. I wanted to finish what I had started. I wanted to kill him slowly and cause him so much pain that it would be physically unbearable for Charlotte to stay. But her eyes brought me back. They washed out that insanity that I've driven myself into over the years. "You don't want to prove them right, do you?" She asked, holding my hands.
A sudden scuffling noise sounded behind us. I whipped my head back around as that mutt took off into the tunnel. Feeling like a predator, I wanted to chase after him and kill that bastard. But Charlotte's pleading hands turned my head back to her. I was furious. He had violated my little jewel. He stuck his pathetic hands on her perfect body. Repulsive men like him deserved to die by my hands. In the most painful ways imaginable.
"No, don't go after him..." she pleaded, her hands cupping the sides of my face gently. Her fingers lied across my mask, but, somehow, I wasn't afraid or angry. She didn't move to uncover me. I...trusted her. "He will pay the consequences in time," she continued, "but you can't kill him."
Frustration built up inside me. "And why not?" I questioned, taking her hands from my face. "You say to let the man go, after he attempted to rape you? What if he succeeded?! What if I hadn't come, or you hadn't thought of defending yourself?"
"Then I guess it would have been my fate."
Her words troubled me deeply. It made my insides shake. "You mean to say that you would accept a violation on you?" I grit my teeth. "And for what? Surely, nothing even remotely good can come from such a transgression!"
"I'm not saying goodness comes from that," she remarked, folding her arms across her chest. "All I'm stating is that I will accept what comes to me if it's what moves me on. It's reality, is it not? Most men crave that sort of deed, anyways."
My blood pressure must have hit the roof then. "Most men. Not all," I snipped with slit eyes. "Do you think me the type of man to take advantage of a woman?" Her eyes were surprised at my sharp remark. "I would never advance on an innocent woman, no matter the fate!"
Charlotte rolled her eyes in response. "Fate is a very ironic word for you, Erik," she sneered, taking me aback. "You talk about fate, but look what's going on around you. You go on and on of loving Christine; you think you're fated to love the naïve woman! She's clearly already taken! And why don't you accept that? You need to move on."
(Charlotte)
I saw his shoulders go visibly rigid at my words. His eyes averted, irritated, and he scowled. I was right, and he knew that. Or he chose not to acknowledge my correctness. There was silence on his part, but I knew he was angry. Hurt and angry. Not the best combination for him, but I would attempt to coax him out of it.
...Right after I correct his obsessive mind.
He still didn't move from his molded stance, so I drew in closer but with firmness in my form. "You saw Christine and Raoul confess their love. I understand, you're hurting. But that was nearly two months ago. You have to let her go."
Suddenly, I was pushed back against the wall by a painfully strong hand. Pain struck my spine as my back hit a jagged stone behind me. "You do not have the right of telling me what to do," Erik growled malignly, glaring a burning hole through me.
"I'm looking out for you," I whimpered under his pressuring iron grip. "You have to hear me out, at least."
"No, I do not." If looks could kill, I'd probably be a dead mess on the floor by now. "I dictate my own life as you do yours. I do not want to hear another word of Christine."
A small snap shifted in my shoulder as he pressed harder. I winced involuntarily and bit my lip to keep in my yelp. "You're so blind in this obsession that you don't see what's around you! She will ruin your life if you keep this unhealthy infatuation act going."
"Enough," he ordered lowly, fiercely. I shook my head despite his strong grip crushing my shoulders.
"No, you need to see what she's doing to you. Look at yourself! The more you chase after her, the more you lose yourself to the Phantom!" My eyes stung with tears. My words began to seep into his thick, stubborn ass skull. "She will make you commit crimes, Erik. Don't let her drive you into the insanity that people believe you're in. Be Erik. My Erik."
He stubbornly growled and glowered straight at me.
"Do you see what's happening?" I whispered breathlessly. "Don't you realize the dead end waiting if you allow her to control your li--"
"I SAID ENOUGH!"
All of a sudden, his hands crushed my shoulders with multiple cracks sounding as he roared at me. A terrified scream tore from my lips as I ripped myself from his arms and cried. Hot tears spilled onto my cheeks, and I clumsily sprinted from his presence and finally to my room before he could do anything else.
What happened to my Erik?
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
(Erik)
It's been nearly a week since I last encountered Charlotte. She has avoided any contact with me. Even little lessons for her voice. She didn't even acknowledge me while I crept in the shadows. It was like I became a stranger to her.
What have I done?
I'm in worse condition than before. I haven't eaten since then, and I've got absolutely no sleep. Nightmares plagued my supposed dreams, so I stayed awake to avoid it all. And worst of all, I've been drowned into alcohol. My whiskey supply was almost used up. And I had a cabinet full of bottles.
Whose fault is that? A whisper sneered in my ear.
Mine.
Wrong, it shouted, making me cringe and drop the current bottle in hand. The glass hit the floor and shattered, spilling only the small remainder of liquid inside. The honey-amber alcohol soaked into the carpet beneath me as I regained my composure. But the growling voice continued on before I could reach the shards.
She left. That was her decision. Don't they all leave, anyways?
But that was my fault, I thought in return. I frightened her. I had harmed her with my violent temper. And all she did was remind me of what I couldn't achieve with Christine. Why did I take that to heart so much? Sadly, it was the truth. I saw it now, but I was too consumed to stay on the topic. My mind kept drifting as the alcohol set in again.
She drove you to kill. Did you not see how that man trembled beneath you before you strangled him merely two days ago? Both of those men? The one merely over adolescence? A strong shudder racked my spine as the voice became lower and louder. Charlotte is at fault for this!
"She did not make me kill," I muttered under my breath, sighing with irritation. "It was the blasted way I acted. I'm ashamed."
Connerie! You were right to act the way you did. That vixen was bad mouthing Christine. {Bullshit}
"It was the truth," I grumbled, walking in the kitchen dizzily to retrieve the dustpan and brush.
More like the truth about Charlotte.
"Be quiet," I hissed, scowling. My mind was convincing itself that Charlotte was the bad one now. No, it was speaking lies. She did nothing wrong. It was all my fault. I drove her away; and now I have no one. Nobody but this...conniving little pest in the back of my mind.
If anyone's going to bring out the Phantom again, it's Charlotte, it barked mercilessly. The only person leading you to a dead end is her!
I let out a frustrated growl, "Get out of my head!" Dropping the two supplies, I grit my teeth and propped myself against the table.
You know it's true, Erik!
My heartbeat raced violently.
Open up your eyes! You're heading to your ultimate destruction.
My blood boiled, and my skin burned.
"GET OUT!"
I roared viciously, swiping all the glass china off the table with a clear flash of rash movement. The glass smashed against the floor with an ear bleeding shatter, sending blade-like shards everywhere. Some larger sections unfortunately darted in my direction and sliced into my legs, but I was too overwhelmed to respond.
My whole body went into an inundating alarm.
Leaving the area without a second glance, I sought more ways to relieve my jumble of mixed emotions.
(Charlotte)
"I can't put up this act anymore," I casted a glance towards Meg, who was lounging across from me on my bed as I sat in my nightgown. Stress had filled my veins completely and beat me down to an ache. I couldn't take it anymore. It was like I was experiencing his withdrawal.
"He hurt you, Charlotte," she reminded me, frowning. "You can't possibly want to go back to him after that." Her eyes softened as she squinted her eyes. "I won't let you experience another abusive relationship with a man."
Relationship. We're just friends.
I guess.
"It's not what it seems, though," I continued, sighing. "We have a... a different connection than other normal people. We're not your normal type of friends. It's unexplainable, different."
"Obviously," she muttered under her breath. I shot her a side glare and shook my head.
"Meg, I've told you before; he doesn't know what it's like to have a friend. I need to get him familiar with the feeling. Ignoring him will do no good."
"That's my point," she interjected strongly. It made me jump slightly. "He's never had a friend before because he's a brute. Can't you see what sort of path you're leading yourself down? It's not a good one!"
God, she's so over dramatic. Like Christine at times...
A deep, frustrated sigh passed through my taught lips. My eyes stayed on Meg's frantic form. "Sometimes, Meg, you just need to believe in me. Just once," I stated lowly before rising and leaving the room altogether. I had to get out before anything else was said. I didn't want to do something I'd regret.
I have to see Erik.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
There was glass everywhere...
He had exploded. When would that man learn that violence and anger didn't mix too well? Sighing, I crouched low in my light nightgown and began to pile the glass shards up carefully. I guess not wearing shoes was a bit foolish of me, but I was in a hurry. I didn't care about my safety.
Pushing one pile off to the side, I focused on the smaller pieces now. I got up and searched for a handheld brush to sweep them up. My feet cautiously moved around the glass while my hands worked on cleaning up.
Standing again and straightening my aching back, I turned to go fetch a dust pan to sweep up the mess, but I was face to face with a startling figure. Holding in a yelp of surprise, I stumbled back some and immediately regretted it. I found that my foot slammed right down on the pile of large, broken glass pieces. Crying out from the pain jolting up my leg, I fell to the floor, but I made sure to keep away from the swept glass to the best of my ability.
"Shit, Erik!" I exclaimed, glaring up at him as I dug my nails into my ankle. "You couldn't have at least said something before you frightened me like that?!"
His eyes were hazy and distant in the dim lighting. They flicked from the pile of glass to my vigorously bleeding foot multiple times. I was worried for him, but I was also angry. A strong throb darted up from my foot.
"Forgive me," he said quietly, absently, as he knelt before my pain-stricken form. But that was all he said. He went dead silent after that, reaching out to examine my marred foot. The cuts were in the most terrible spot too; my arch and heel.
Goddamnit.
His cold fingers grazed the skin, searching for something. Then, I let out a small shriek as he jerked his hand away, something between his nimble fingers. Pain swelled, and more bit liquid drenched my foot and the floor. He got the glass out of it. Silence followed after as he got up, fetched a medical wrap and disinfectant, and tended quickly to my foot.
But he was still absolutely emotionless.
"What is bothering you?" I asked quietly as he sat back on his heels after finishing the wrapping. He looked at me blankly, then his gaze dropped to the floor. My concern flooded as well as pain in my foot. "Erik, please tell me," I urged, shifting slightly closer to him.
It couldn't possibly be as bad as he was making it, right?
As I sat on the floor with him, I dared my boundaries and reached for his hand. This entire week has taken a toll on me, my stress levels through the roof. For one, I saw Alexandre alone, but he walked away when I greeted him. What did I do? And secondly, I've been troubled endlessly with stomach pains and migraines. What brought that about? And lastly, I've been restless and exhausted from the lengths I went to just to avoid Erik. He had hurt me and frightened me, but I just cannot live a day without this man. It's impossible.
His bare hand radiated heat as I held it. More heat than usual. What was causing his uneasiness, his distance? I had to find out.
"Erik..."
The, his eyes averted completely from my direction. Shame...crossed his features. "You'll run away again," he whispered lowly, his grip on my hand tightening.
I felt a string pull in my heart. I've made him so fragile now. He doesn't trust me to stay... What have I done? I wouldn't blame him. After all, I did run and leave, just like I promised not to do. It was my fault. He didn't trust me anymore because of my ignorant actions...
Suddenly, I felt a hand beneath my jaw. Raising my eyes, I watched as those blue seas searched my watering ones. His thumb gently brushed away the tears that fell from my eyes. A touch that I had missed so much. Selfishly, I leaned into his tender touch and bit back my tears.
"Don't cry for me..."
An unwilling sob broke from my lips. How could he suggest that I don't cry for him? I'm not a pity giving being. My tears are for him, not about his past. I love him. And there's nothing I could do about it. Not while he loved Christine...
"Tell me," I murmured through my sniffles. A single tear slid down my cheek as I kept my gaze on his. He was reluctant, hesitant, unsure. While he looked away, I daringly let my eyes drop to his lips. Deformed, plump, and beautifully pink. How could I not steal a glance at them? Erik was so self-loathing towards himself, but doesn't he see that I think he's the most beautiful angel on this Earth?
Oh, if only he did.
"I..." His voice was very quiet as he cleared his throat nervously. What could be so bad that he's nervous to tell me of? I take many things easily. Then, his eyes flicked back to mine. Regret filled his expression vividly. "I have done many...penitent wrongs in my life, and you have somehow forgiven me. But..." He paused for a moment, and I tried to untie what he was saying. "How could you forgive me now; that I've gone against your word?"
My eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What are you talking about? The fight we had?" I shook my head. "It was a mere fray. Nothing you need to worry yourself so much over. I have forgiven you."
"That is not what I'm trying to get at," he said lowly with averted eyes.
I wanted to get it out of him, but I knew what a sensitive man he was. I couldn't be forceful without stirring his temper. So I had to be patient. One thing that always helped him speak was comfort, I knew. Reaching forward, cautiously, I took both of his hands in mine. The contact directed his eyes right back to mine.
Something bright shined within his azure seas.
"You can tell me whatever it is, Erik," I assured, rubbing his palms with my thumbs. "I promise not to run away. Last time was a mistake. And I hate myself for it." My breath caught for a moment as I felt my self-bitterness rise up again. I always did hurt the people I loved.
With a wide-eyed stare, Erik bit his lip and tensed up. He was extremely reluctant with telling me this. I was too curious of what it was. Did something happen with Christine? Did she finally change her mind? A part of me felt disappointed. If she did, then I would have absolutely no chance with him. Maybe that's what he needed to tell me. That everything was finally turning out for the best with himself and Christine.
But that's not what passed through his gentle lips. No... What he spoke of so tensely and quietly was something I regretted asking about. The way he said it made the whole situation seem worse than it was. It made him seem almost different...insane...
"I... I murdered innocent people..."
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I decided to shorten the chapters up from now on 20 pages more because 60 is a lot xD
Anyways, I hope you liked it! Don't forget to vote and comment <3