Elliot and I needed a vacation. Mentally. Not just moving to a different area away from everyone. But mentally escape.
I felt kind of guilty for giving into him so easily, but how couldnt I? He was far from perfect, he had his demons and Lord knows I had mine. But when you love somebody, and I mean truly love somebody, none of that seems to matter.
After leaving his fathers Elliot brought me shopping for the ball, I was keen on paying it for myself but he got all possessive on me and demanded he was paying for it. He didnt insist. He demanded.
"I just dont see why you wont let me pay for it. And why dont you think this dress is a little prominent?" I whisper, as I twirl around in the long silky silver dress, that fitted around my hips and really increased my bust line.
"It's a ball. Filled with rich snobby people, who want to show off their spouses and lovers in the most beetling dress." Elliot explains, smiling as fold my arms arcoss my chest.
"So this is a time that men auction off their lovers as in "Who Wore It Best?" I guess, how disgusting! Men are such animals.
"In a sense I suppose, but in case you're thinking men are pigs, females are like ravenous animals. Plastered fake smiles in front of each others faces, inconsipiciously conversing about which man makes the most money. It's humourous to watch." He says, cocking an eyebrow at me.
"Are you hinting something?" I tease and he chuckles. "Not at all. Just keep an eye out onFriday; they'll eat you alive." He warns hastily.
"Think I'll get caught up?" I ask with a smirk. "In fact, I know you will. You get very defensive and I have no doubt that if it were up to you. you would have the whole entire room in abalze of comments of how amazing I am." He says as I sit next to him in the changing room.
"Dont they know that already?" I ask and he shakes his head. "As far as they know, I'm just a business man from Utah." He replies and I frown, "You havent conversed with anybody ese about your accomplishments?" I ask.
He shakes his head, and rubs the side of my face. "I'm not one to give myself any sense of avowal. I dont like to brag. If they find out, they find out." He replies with a shrug.
"Look what you've done! You own two major oil companies and two succesful hotels!" I point out and he rolls his eyes. "A BDSM hotel and I didnt really spin off the oil company in Utah. My father wanted me to follow in his footsteps." He enlightens with a shrug.
"You mean you didnt want to be a business man?" I ask and he shakes his head. "The only reason why I did was to impress him, plus it was an easier source of aquirying money. Money's control." He says softly. Control? Which he was obssessed with. Go figure.
"Well what did you want to be?" I ask. Who wouldnt want to be rich?! "I wanted to persue baseball. In 6th grade, I made over 20 homeruns in a 12 week season. I knew that's what I wanted to do. Scouts visited me in elementary school and told me as long as I kept playing baseball, by the time I graduated, I would have a full ride to college. I could even go professional." He tells me. I noticed the way his eyes lit up when he talked about baseball. I could see his love for it. I never really was a fan of baseball. But just imaging myself in the stadium, surrounded by thousands of other fans, with signs. Cheering him on.
It was a fantasy I wish I could indulge.
"What stopped the dream?" I ask in a hushed tone. He gave me an eye and I nodded.
The Incident. "I became insecure about almost everything. I was so obssessed with pleasing my dad, I didnt want him to be ashamed of me. And after what happened I thought he was. I was confused about my whole sexuality. It wasnt like I liked it. I was seduced to thinking it was right. That was just pleasure and if it was, what was the issue?" He says, looking away from me.
He was going back to those days and it hurt me. It hurt me to see him hurt. "Im not saying they made me like it, but they made sure I didnt hate it either. My first recieval of oral was from them. I think in a sense thats why I made my subs give me so much head, because I wanted to replace the feeling." He says with a sigh.
"But I dont think Im bisexual. I know I'm not. I was young and corrupted, but that doesnt make me a victim." He says silently. "That shouldnt have stopped your dream. You're still young, you can still persue the dream." I insist and he smiles sadly at me.
"Kitten, I'm afraid my dream is over." He whispers, tracing his thumb across my lip. He stands to his feet and slips out the door, leaving me thinking.
After I changed and we purchased the dress, I insisted I was driving, which he was skeptical of since I havent drove since I ditched him in the middle of the highway.
I had my license, I just didnt have a car. It was far too much to explain.
Strangely he came to realize, I was an excellent driver and once we got to our destination, he was beyond confused.
"What the hell Rayleen?" He says, but I can see the smile, creep across his face. "Come on, please! Just try it." I urge and I can see him practically jumping out of the car.
"You're insane, you know that Kitten?" He whispers and I nod. "Go ahead and try it!" I say with a smile.
He sighs and gets out of the car and I follow him. "I cant believe you brought me to a batting cage." He says shaking his head.
"You know you're excited." I say with a grin.
I go to the front desk and give him some money and get some tokens in return. The sun has already setted and so the entire scene is illuminated by the lights surrounding us.
"Go ahead Eli, embrace your inner Babe Ruth." I tease and hand him his tokens.
He chuckles and grabs a helmet and a large bat and goes inside the gate. I sit on the bench safely outside and watch as he nervously positions himself and takes a practice swing.
"Dont laugh." He mumbles, turning towards me. "I would never." I assure.
The batting cage was huge and had a net to cover the inside. It was probably the size of a real baseball field.
He inserts the coin and turn towards the net.
I notice he adjusted it to a medium speed and I see the ball racing towards him. As quick as can be Eli grips his baseball bat, positioning his arms and elbows all so perfectly and hits the ball dead on, casting it across the batting cage.
I cant contain my excitement. "Woo-hoo!" I shout and I hear him chuckle and hit the next ball.
One after another, he sends 5 balls across the batting cage. "I see youre enjoying yourself." He teases and I nod like a kid. "More!" I chant and he waves me off.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll give the pretty lady what she wants." He says, inserts another coin.
This time, in a matter of seconds the balls are flying towards him in a high speed. He barely has time to position himself, because once he hits the ball, another one flies towards him.
And yet, he doesnt miss one. "Yay Eli!" I say, bouncing up and down on the bench. God, he looked so fear, so relaxed and in his element. It was unlike watching him in a meeting, he was becoming alive.
After inserting another coin, the balls are coming at an extreme speed.
Fast and hard and spiraling down at him. Eli grips his baseball bat and swings.
The ball flies towards the other side of the field, out of sight.
"Oh SNAP! That's my baby!" I shout, rising to my feet.
After he's done, Elliot steps out of the batting cage with a smile on his face. I run into his arms and he picks me up and swings me around. "I knew you could do it." I whisper and kiss the top of his nose and he gleams at me.
"Thank you for bringing me here. It's been years since Ive last hit a baseball like that." He whispers and sets me down on the ground.
We start to head back to the car and the guy at the front desks stops us.
"Dude, you need to be professional. That was amazing!" He says, he looks about only 16 or 17 years old or so and he looks amazed.
"Anybody can hit a baseball." Eli tease with a shrug.
"Seriously man. Look into it. That was unbelievable and it looks like you got yourself your first cheerleader." He adds looking at me with a nod and I smile.
"Thank you, I guess I might." Eli says with an unsure smile and we turn to walk away.
"Oh Hey!" The guy adds and we turn around, he looks nervous and smiles before saying, "And you got your first fan too."
"He was nice." I say, once we get back in the car. Eli was driving and he looked like he was glowing. "He was, I cant thank you enough." He says, turning to look at me.
"I wanted to see you in action. It was pretty impressive, especially not having played in years." I say and he nods.
We're silent for a moment and I see his pained face, "What's wrong?" I whisper.
"I...I just cant get over the fact I hurt you. Me. Someone who was here to protect you. I was hoping my past wouldnt catch up with me, but it did and it was taken out on you. Rayleen, words cant explain how sorry and guilty as hell I feel. I was supposed to be making love to you and I ended up inflicting unwanted pain on you. What I did in high school was fucked up. But I was fucked up. By senior year all I wanted to do was die. Everything around that time was a blur and I was doing this I shouldnt have been doing. That being one of them. I dont want you to pity me or think that you need to show me sympathy because you dont. I just want you to know, how excruciatingly sorry I am. It killed me to see the pain in your eyes. I saw the fear crawl on your skin and I felt our instant disconnection and it was only me to blame. That's why once we do start making love again. I want it to be different." He pauses and I'm still trying to process what he just said.
The conversation took me by surprise and I swallow nervously and lick my dry lips and look up at him, "What to be different?" I whisper.
Really? After his entire confession, that's all I could say?
"I want vanilla sex." I pause and blink at him? Normal sex? With Elliot Carter? No.
"What? Why?" I whine, he really just said he wanted vanilla!! "Because, I cant take that risk with you anymore." He says and I blink in disbelief. "Describe vanilla." I say shaking my head.
"No whips, or belts, paddles, floggers, spankings, handcuffs, rope, wax. No verbal humilation. None of that. Just our skin and love." He says as we turn into my apartment parking lot. I blink for a moment and turn to him, "You dont have to change your sex life because of what happened. I like all of that stuff! You cant just take it away like that!" I protest and he chuckles softly.
"Kitten, it's your saftey Im worried about. Maybe after some time, we can add all that stuff back. I dont want you to really think you're becoming all of the stuff I call you, or I tell you I want." He whispers. I blink at him in disbelief. I cant believe he's saying all of this.
"Eli, I know you only mean that during sex. I like being called your whore or your slut. It's a turn on! And I love all the toys and the play that we do. I love our secret roleplay and everything like that. You dont have to take that away!" I defend and his lips coark into a smile. "It sounds like you can only cum when I do that stuff to you." He says humoursly.
"You can make me cum no matter what you do." I whisper.
"Rayleen. I want you to see me as I see you. No restraint. I want you to feel me as I feel you. So when you cum, its for us. Not just for me. When I touch you, I want to see your face and hear every moan that escapes from your lips. I want you to watch me as I watch you. Look at me. Watch me." He says, slowly.
Oh God...why was this turning me on? "I'm not saying vanilla forever. I'm saying vanilla for now. I want to take my time with you. I want your name escaping from my lips and only your name. I want the neighbors to know you're driving me into an oblivion. I want the world to know, you're giving me your sweet love and I want you to know you're my only love." He whispers, his eyes soft.
I'm about to engage in transportation sex. Thats it.
"I want to feel our hearts beat in sync. I want to look into your eyes as I make love to you. I want just that. Our love." He adds and I nod. He needed to stop before he got my panties even more wet than they already are.
"Eli, you know I love to please you in everyway possible. I just dont want you to do this out of guilt." I say and his eyes flutter.
"I'm not acting out of guilt. Im acting out of realization. It was a slap in the face and I noticed I was loving you in all the wrong ways. You lived your whole life with men hurting you. Why would I go and cause more pain? Even if it was consensual. I want to give you what you really need and desire. Love." He whispers.
It's official. Elliot Carter is imprefectly perfect, the key to my heart, the fire to my libido.
"I did it wrong the first few times. This is my second chance to get it right. Will you allow me to love you properly?" He asks. "Yes. Oh God yes." I say and nod quickly. "I dont want you to feel as though it's a dictatorship. You have every right to speak your mind whenever, just as long as you know. Your saftey is my first priority." He explains.
"Yes sir, I understand." I whisper. "Eli, my love. Call me Eli." He says with a smile.
"I hope this whole situation didnt turn you into a softy." I whisper with a smirk.
"Oh trust me. Sure enough, one day. I'll have you bound back in our Room of Mirrors." He promises and I bit my lip. And he always kept his promise.
Out of instinct, I lean forward and press my lips to his.
His soft sweet lips molding perfectly with mine, as our tongues collide and a soft sensual dance. It scared me how real this kiss felt. I felt like I was floating and my body was on fire. He was on fire.
We were. We pulled away with a gasp of air and he pressed his forehead on mine. "I know what you're thinking." He says softly and my brow furrows.
"I wont make love to you, until you're ready. And you and I both know, I will know when you're ready." He says with a smile and kisses my nose. I swear this man could read my thoughts.
"I trust you." I whisper and he smiles, "And it makes me so happy to hear that you do. So very happy." He says and kisses my forehead.
Elliot Carter was a man of his word.
But that wasnt going to take care of my arousal issue!
~*~*~~*~*~
Well? Here's le update I promised.
Im better, Im just having terrible anxiety issues. Thank you for all the get well soon comments. It made me realize I should NEVER doubt my little slaves. I wont underestimate you guys again so I'm apologizing to you all. You know I love you guys right? Good. Never forget that.
And enjoy the update and this weekend!
I may update tomorrow too
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