(Pic - Ben)
I opened my eyes, instantly shutting them again when noticing all the sunlight streaming into my room. I fell asleep? Great, now I won't be able to sleep tonight.
Glancing over to the blonde haired boy beside me, I suppressed my smile as I saw him fast asleep with his mouth wide open and an arm behind his head, showing off his muscles that were practically ripping his shirt. His long hair that desperately needed chopping flopped over his forehead and a little over his eye while his hoodie was scrunched up by his mouth, making it harder for him to breathe, which was already obvious by the loud breathing.
I leaned up on my side and used my hand to rest my head on as I propped it up on the mattress. He looked so adorable, so at peace. I pulled the hoodie down a little, allowing him to breathe properly and just continued on watching. Not creepy at all.
The small alarm clock sitting on the bedside table said that it was around two o' clock. I haven't even left my bed already, and I didn't feel as if I wanted to anytime soon. I could easily just stay here for the entire day, perhaps the entire week. Who knows?
Seeing Ben asleep beside me with no problems in the world made me feel jealous. Jealous enough to fall asleep again so I wouldn't have to deal with what's left of today.
My free hand made its own way to the bedside table next to Ben. My phone was on it and I felt as if I should take a picture of the sleepy boy next to me so I can taunt him with it later on.
Finally with my phone in hand and our chests just an inch apart from touching, I carefully leaned back so I could get back to my original position, of course, it didn't work, he clamped his hand over my wrist as his eyes shot open and all I could do was stay like that with a face that probably resembles surprise and shock, but I've been told I don't really have facial expressions by multiple people.
"What are you doing?" Ben asked, his hand still around my wrist in an iron grip. As carefully and as quietly as possible, I placed my phone back down on the bedside table and pursed my lips together. He glanced to his side before furrowing his eyebrows. "I will end you if you ever take a photo of me asleep."
"Don't fall asleep, then I wouldn't be able to take a photo." I answered back smugly, sticking my tongue out at him.
He scoffed before letting go of my wrist and shoving -more like throwing- me back to my side of the bed.
I brought the duvet all the way up to my neck and pulled some away from Ben, who practically had the entire thing to himself. He frowned at me, but I just frowned back and him before turning to my side, facing him, and letting my eyes close again.
"Hey."
"What?" I huffed, opening my eyes again.
"No more sleeping." He pulled the duvet off me which lifted a bit of my t-shirt up and exposed my abdomen and hairy snail trail that went straight down and under my shorts.
"Who are you to tell me I can't go back to sleep?" I questioned, raising a brow and grabbing a fistful of my duvet only to raise it up to my neck again.
He pulled it off again and I honestly felt like whacking him. His smug face just stared down at my struggle as I tried to pull it up again, but obviously Ben was stronger, even though he had only just woken up.
He reached over to the bedside table and put his glasses on again. For a very short moment, I saw the scrawny, unruly haired Ben from year seven who liked to wear thick framed glasses. I liked to call them hipster glasses.
In the short time period that he was distracted, I pulled the blanket up again and wrapped it around me as if I were a blanket burrito, I made sure this time to hold it tightly.
Finally content, I closed my eyes again and felt the bed jiggle as he got up, but his loud footsteps were heard coming round to the other side of me and once again, the blanket was ripped off me and thrown on the floor.
"Why do you have to be so evil?" I whined childishly as I opened my eyes and saw his body loom over me.
He rolled his eyes before bringing his arms around me and attempting to pull me up. I ended up wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him back down to the bed but he used it to his advantage and ended up carrying me the same way you'd carry a small child to your hip, except I wasn't attached to his hip but instead across his torso.
"Ben, let me down." I said, slightly annoyed. I leaned my head down on his shoulder and let it rest there. Obviously, he wouldn't listen.
"You need to shower and get ready for dinner, it's Christmas." He summed up bluntly as he started walking to my bathroom. I wiggled about in his arms but he didn't budge and I didn't want to fall and hit my head, I also didn't have the effort, I must've used it all up.
"Ugh." I groaned tiredly and rested my head in the crook of his shoulder. "Doesn't feel like Christmas."
"They're all waiting for you so they can open presents."
"Ugh." I groaned again, even louder this time.
"You can let go of me." He said once we were stood in the middle of my bathroom.
"No, because then you'll make me shower."
"I'll throw you off."
"Go on then." I tested, wrapping my arms around his neck even tighter and crossing my legs around his waist.
"Flynn."
"Ben."
"Flynn."
"Ben."
He reached his hand out and twisted the dial to start the shower and then carefully peeled my limbs off him one by one.
I stood still facing him with a frown plastered on my face and my arms crossed over my chest.
"Shower." He ordered, pointing to the running water before walking out the door.
"Why don't you just stop caring for others and think of yourself instead?" I muttered as he left. It probably wasn't even coherent, but who cares.
Sighing loudly, I locked the door and pulled my t-shirt off and then stripped down the rest of my clothes until I was left stark naked and freezing cold. Steam gradually filled the small room, wrapping me up in warmth, so I jumped in and just stood underneath the shower head for the longest time like I do for all of my showers.
"I'm a Barbie girl, In the Barbie world." I started singing jokingly. I wouldn't usually sing in the shower, but my mind was blank for once and not driving me insane with so many thoughts so I wanted to keep it that way.
"Life in plastic, it's fantastic," I heard Ben shout from outside the door. I snickered to myself and felt the need to cringe too.
"Don't ruin my song, dipshit." I reprimanded, sighing, and deciding to just shut my mouth from now.
Scrubbing myself all over, I washed all the grime off my body and then twisted the dial to turn the shower off. I dried myself and wrapped the towel around my waist because I didn't bring any clothes in here with me. Maybe that shower was a good idea, I finally felt more awake, but not as much as I hoped. On the whole though, I was just slightly irritated because why is it that Ben's always right?
I unlocked the door and it creaked open as I walked out. Ben was sat on the bed again, this time with Ember. Clearing my throat to grab his attention, I motioned for him to look away or leave, though he'd most likely choose the latter.
"Go dress in the bathroom."
"Don't tell me what to do, bitch." I watched as he pursed his lips and fail miserably as he tried to stifle a laugh. "Ugh, fine." I breathed out, making it seem like more effort than it actually is.
"Dress in some nice clothes for dinner, my family's joining." he said nonchalantly as I walked over to my wardrobe. Deciding not to argue, I just picked out a navy sweatshirt and some khaki coloured jeans. I don't think I've worn these trousers since the first day of university when I dressed up because I wanted to make a good impression, other than that, I just wore sweatpants at university because I discovered how bloody comfortable they were.
It was taking us slightly longer than it should've to get downstairs, mainly because of me. My reluctancy to join everyone for dinner was just-- do I need to say it? I didn't want to see everyone's faces, I'd much rather stay in bed for hours on end, days even. Karen and Dad already said it was completely fine for me to stay upstairs whenever I feel like it.
"I don't want to." I hissed for the billionth time and plopped my butt down on the top step of the staircase. Our staircase was right in front of the front door so I had a clear view of the driveway because of the tall windows beside it as well as a view of the living room, except for the fact that the ceiling blocked it a little and only allowed me to see people's legs when they're stood up.
Ben sat down beside me and raised a brow as I turned to face him. I caressed my jaw as I ran a hand down my facial hair. Should I grow my beard out? Get a goatee? Admittedly, I've always thought goatees were cool.
"I heard what you said before." Ben said quietly. "About thinking of other people before I think of myself."
Yes, you do. I thought. It seemed like Ben was actually extremely selfless because he has his own issues and I don't even know what they are specifically but he's just so secretive about them and it's like he doesn't even want people to help him.
"I'm not into one-sided things. In some weird way, you help me feel better when I feel like shit and you don't get freaked out or worried but what about you? I want to help but I can't do that when you won't tell me." I explained, staring right into his pretty green peepers. He chewed on his lip and ran a hand through his hair before standing up and treading down the stairs without uttering a single word.
Well, so much for that.
Did I embarrass myself? Oh god, what did I do? Flynn, you're not supposed to be Ben's friend. Not in a million years! Think of everything he's done to you in the past-
"Here." I heard his voice say, snapping me out of my stupor. Looking down at his hands, I saw that he had an almost empty bottle of scotch and two cups.
"It's only four o' clock." I said, raising a brow but taking the bottle nonetheless and pouring it in the two glasses.
"It's scotch, so it's just for sipping, but don't have too much, you're on lithium."
"That was hours ago, fuck the lithium." I shrugged, taking a sniff of the drink. I watched as Ben did the same and almost laughed at picturing myself accidentally-on-purpose tapping the bottom of the class and causing the drink to spill all over him. Obviously, I didn't do that. I'm not that mean, at least not when we're expecting guests and he doesn't have a change of clothes.
A couple silent minutes passed between us. I could hear noises coming from the kitchen and raised voices, mainly dad's. If I strained my ears, I could hear that he was telling Casey off for picking from the food that was prepared for dessert. It was hard to hear because loud Christmas music was playing over everything.
"You said you didn't like one sided things, but the issue is that I like to deal with other people's problems because they're usually bigger than mine anyway. Mine aren't important, they're just stupid."
I faced towards him and gave him the weirdest expression ever because even I didn't know how I should be feeling or reacting to his words. "You know that's the most stupidest thing you've said, ever."
"It's kind of true."
"No, it's not." I shook my head incredulously. "I'd like for you to just spew everything out to me, I'll even let you lie on my lap and cry."
I saw the ghost of a smile play on his lips but it was gone as soon as it came. "No, I don't know. The only person I've told is Jace."
"Well things are changing, so come on." I pushed, even welcoming him in my arms if he needed the comfort by stretching out the arm closest to him. He contemplated it for a minute and took a sip of his scotch before leaning his head on my shoulder slightly, but keeping himself a little upright so he could drink.
He cleared his throat before sighing. "Well it's not that huge but-"
"Every time you say that, I'll pinch you." I said, smirking.
"Fine." he huffed, "Well, I ended up in a foster home when my actual biological parents died in a car crash. I was only like, two years old. Sometimes I wish I was with them- Ow! What the fuck, Flynn?"
"You deserved a pinch." I muttered, "Anyway, continue."
"The foster home I was at, it was kind of over crowded. Seventeen kids and a lot of new ones just came in and out, easily getting adopted. For some reason, they didn't adopt me. There's always reasons like they don't want young babies my age but when I was a toddler, they didn't want that age then and when I was even older than that, nobody wanted that age at all. It's freaking stupid."
"Right." I said, finishing off the last sip of my scotch and placing my glass down diligently next to the bottle.
"I was always picked on by the older kids. They were around thirteen years old and upwards. They'd make me do their homework and their chores and whatever, and the carers turned a blind eye."
"Homework? If they were thirteen and upwards, that would mean you were doing secondary school homework while you were in primary..."
"Yes, but look at me now, right? My primary school wanted me to move up a year because I didn't find it challenging enough. I didn't do it because I'd get picked on even more and I also would have to leave friends behind." He explained. I could've sworn I heard his voice crack a little too.
I turned to face him, seeing a single tear slip down his cheek. There was probably a whole lot more to the story but I didn't want to push him and ruin the day so I just used my hands to lift his head up gently before stretching both my arms out.
I could tell he was thankful when he leaned in, falling into my open arms and burying his head into my shoulder. His arms dropped to my sides, not even holding me. "It's okay." I said, soothingly rubbing circles on his back.
We were positioned pretty awkwardly at the moment and I was falling back on the floor because I had his entire torso leaning on me and was struggling to hold myself upright. "It's okay." I repeated, "You don't have to say anymore."
Leaning back, I could see that there were now more tears but a ghosty smile had appeared again but this time, it didn't leave. I ran a hand through his hair, combing it out of the way from his eyes because the strands were getting wet and sticking to his face.
"Let's get you cleaned up so your mums don't panic, they should be here soon." I said and quickly stood up, giving Ben a hand and pulling him back into my bedroom.
He flopped onto my bed straight away and I grabbed a couple tissues from my tissue box and wiped his wet face, not that he couldn't have done it himself. "You want to go downstairs, then?"
"In a little while." He muttered, wiping his glasses clean. I sat on the bed, trying my best weave around Ember's body. Patting my lap, I caught Ben's attention and he lay his head down on it and let me run my hand through the tangled mess.
"Why are you being so nice?" he asked confusingly, drumming his fingers against his abdomen and closing his eyes shut.
I let out a wry, drowsy snicker. "Don't you remember I asked you that same thing? Well, I get you now. There's not really a reason, it's kind of a belief in second chances."
He mimicked the laugh and sounded even more knackered, if that was even possible.
"Can I ask something?" I asked. There was something at the back of my mind and It had been irritating me for the longest time.
"Depends." He said, opening being his eyes.
"Why did you come today? I don't mean it rudely, but it's not like we're... you know. Friends. At least we haven't said it." Was I pushing it? I don't know! I had to know. I combed through his long fringe and then started curled it around my index before combing through another part with my fingers.
"I told you. I wanted to come." He answered, sounding sincere.
"So... Karen didn't ask you?" I asked curiously.
"Nope." he said, popping the 'p' but failing to meet my eyes. "Keep doing that with my hair, and I'll fall asleep. I'm already struggling to keep my eyes open."
The more he denies Karen asking him, the more I feel as if I shouldn't believe him. I just have so many questions, like how did he first guess I had cyclothymia and not bipolar? Both of them could be easily mistakable, and cyclothymia isn't something I even knew existed until I was diagnosed with it so he'd have to be super clever to get it right.
Clearing my throat, I tried to rid myself of all these bad thoughts and I turned to face him lazily.
"You're welcome to stay tonight, just don't go stealing my entire bed again, I had to sleep in Casey's tinsy, tiny bed last time." I said quietly, instantly regretting it as soon as it slipped past my lips. Great, Flynn, just great. Now he's going to think you're obsessive or something.
"Thanks." he muttered, yawning after. I grinned and stuck my index finger in his mouth as he kept his mouth wide open for a moment. I remember Dad used to do the same to me when I was younger because I never yawned with a hand over my mouth. Ben quickly clamped his mouth shut as he fought his smile mid-yawn and slapped my hand away in the process. "Let's head downstairs."
"Can you not just bring some food up for me?" I asked as my stomach started rumbling. I haven't eaten since last night. "And I'll just watch all those films you bought all by my lonesome while you socialise with people."
He just shook his head and sat up. "No, do you need another pill?"
I muttered a 'no' and jumped out of bed, forcing myself to stand up instead of just flopping down on the bed again.
Ben walked in front of me down the stairs and this time, we actually got all the way down.
"Great, you're down. Let's open presents." Casey grinned as she walked out from the living room. She started shouting loudly to Karen and Dad and they soon appeared, offering warm smiles.
"Okay." I muttered, dragging my feet towards the living room where a huge Christmas tree was shoved to the corner.
"Come on Flynn, just this one evening, and then you can sleep for eternity." Ben whispered as he moved past me. He patted my back and offered a smile and then took a seat down on the sofa.
Just this one evening. I repeated in my head as I crouched down to where the presents were.