"But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here."
It had to have been midnight by now. I couldn't sleep at all, tossing and turning on the comfortable king-sized bed in the darkness.
My probably bloodshot eyes searched for the phone I placed on the bedside table, and I was blinded temporarily by the bright LED screen.
1:09
I groaned, sitting upright. I had long abandoned the magnificent kimono, and it lay on the floor somewhere in the room. I had undressed quickly and dove headfirst into my bed the second I locked the door behind me.
After the dinner, I sat quietly in the corner as the old friends conversed and joked around. It was pretty awkward, to say the least. Every time I tried to join in the conversation, I was quickly cut off by Siobhan. I didn't understand the hostility. Was she jealous? Why should she be?
She was absolutely beautiful and interesting and badass. She was special. I was just...bitchy. Disliked.
You look beautiful.
It was never you are beautiful. Always just look. I know it shouldn't have bothered me much, because it wasn't like I was even deserving to be called beautiful inside.
I may look beautiful, that much is true, but I know for a fact that I wasn't the same inside. Inside was empty, dark and depressing.
It was really sad how this is the case for majority of the girls and boys alike in Meilleur. We lived in a world where girls found joy in the depths of their collar bones and fulfilment in shopping bags, where boys found satisfaction in the cars they buy and the clothes they wear. We lived in a world so materialistic and dehumanised. It was scary sometimes, to realise this. To know that I was just an empty shell.
I think that is the reason why I was so drawn to Alex, and eventually Yuko and his friends. Despite the standard set by everyone in a world of glitz and glamour, they managed to cast away these expectations and create their own. There was a kind of warmth in all of their eyes that was never there before Alex arrived in Meilleur.
She was pretty much their salvation. I wondered if I had that kind of warmth I my own eyes when she was around too, even just for awhile. That would've been nice.
My mind wandered again, and again Yuko's voice rang in my head.
You look beautiful.
I blinked, my lips curving into a traitorous smile. With a sinking realisation, I decided that maybe just looking beautiful in Yuko's eyes was enough for me.
My small smile fell, and I frowned slightly. No, I shouldn't be thinking about him. He was someone I was supposed to hate.
But if you do hate him, why are you here? In his house in Japan?
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. Yuko Hideyoshi was confusing. It was strange, because he always observed and analysed. He had me figured out with a snap of his fingers. But yet, I couldn't figure him out at all. I was completely clueless.
I just thought you should know.
Know what? That I looked beautiful? Or that he thought I looked beautiful?
I don't know what compelled me to crawl out of my bed and blindly walked out of my room and into the empty hallway. Gingerly, I tip-toed to Yuko's room at the far end of the hall.
What are you doing? The logical part of me scolded after I knocked lightly on his door.
I don't know.
He'll think you're a proper creep, standing outside his door at one a.m. in the morning!
"God, what was I thinking?" I muttered under my breath. Shaking my head, I turned to walk away before freezing when I heard the lock turn.
Shit.
"Marissa?" He yawned softly, and his hair was slightly dishevelled. His tired voice sent shivers down my spine, and made my toes curl.
Toes curl? God, Marissa, stop being such a creep! Just tell him you...you slept-walked here or something!
"Uh...," I stuttered, backing away slowly.
Wracking my mind for an excuse, I squeaked, "Sorry, wrong door!"
"What?" he asked, confused and frowning slightly. "Who the hell are you going to pay a visit to now?"
"Um...I can't say?" I cringed, cursing myself for sounding so uncertain. Great job, Marissa. You sound so convincing!
"Is it Logan?" Yuko asked quietly, rubbing his eyes. I blinked in confusion, "What?"
"Logan's a playboy," he stated a-matter-of-factly, narrowing his eyes at me. "Are you going to his room?"
"No!" I instantly yelped, shaking my head furiously. Yuko blinked, before his lips curled into a smile.
"So what are you doing outside my door?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. I gulped, laughing nervously.
"It's nothing!" I squealed, before turning on my heel.
"Wait!" Yuko said, gripping my wrist and tugging me toward him. Me, being the clumsy girl I am, yelped in surprise when I fell into him. For a moment, we were completely silent. All that could be heard were our heavy breaths and my pounding heart. And then that moment passed, and we sprang apart.
"You came here to talk, right? So talk," he rushed out in one breath.
"Who said I wanted to talk?" I retorted, taking a step back.
"I majored-"
"In psychology, blah blah, I've heard it all before! Just...stop overthinking this and go back to sleep, okay?" I snapped, pursing my lips. Slightly flustered, I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and stared at my feet.
"So why are you still standing here?" Yuko asked quietly, and my eyes snapped up to meet his.
"I...," I began, completely speechless. He caught me red-handed. Damn it, Marissa! Know he'll think you're a bloody creep! A weirdo!
It was as if his eyes were a black hole. I drowned in them, and I didn't even realise that he has bent down such that our faces were almost touching.
"Forgive me," Yuko breathed, before cupping my cheek with one hand and bringing his face closer to mine.
And closer.
And closer.
I didn't know how to react when his lips made contact with mine. Then, as quickly as he kissed, he pulled away, blinking. It was so brief that I doubted myself. Did it really even happen?
"What was that?" I whispered, reaching up to touch my tingling lips. They felt as if they were stuck by bees.
"I don't know," Yuko murmured.
"You shouldn't do that," I breathed, looking up at him through my eyelashes. He had to be at least a head taller than I was.
"I wanted to," he replied quietly.
"But why?" I managed to ask, staring at my toes awkwardly.
"Do I need a reason to want to kiss you?" he deadpanned, pursing his lips slightly. My mouth opened slightly, and I stared at his lips.
"Well, yes. People don't go around kissing other people just because they want to," I muttered.
Especially when they have someone else that is a hundred times more kissable.
"What was that?" Yuko blinked, bending down slightly so that his ear was next to my mouth. Blushing deeply, I realised in horror that I had spoken my thoughts out loud.
"N-nothing," I stuttered, taking a small step back.
"I don't have anyone else," he murmured, slightly confused.
"Yes you do," I answered almost immediately.
"Oh really?" he said, leaning against the door frame. "Who exactly is this person, then? It certainly can't be you."
I pursed my lips, staring at the ground. Goddamnit, why does he have to ask so many damned questions? It's like I'm a math question he's trying to solve, not a person having a conversation with him!
"Well?"
"Siobhan, okay? You have Siobhan!" I blurted out in exasperation. Yuko looked rather taken aback by my sudden outburst, but returned to his calm facade quickly.
"Siobhan and I are not a thing," he said slowly, as if he was talking to a child. I frowned, but couldn't deny the way my heart skipped a beat.
They aren't a thing? That means he hasn't made a move on her! Does that mean...
"What? Why not?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Because we aren't? Siobhan and I broke up a long time ago, Marissa. I thought you knew that," he answered, smiling slightly.
What was he smiling about, that little worm! He better not assume that I am jealous...or something!
"What? Are you jealous, or something?" he asked, laughing in his deep, mellow voice.
Well, damn it.
"I am most certainly not!" I denied immediately, stomping my foot firmly on the ground and crossing my arms. "I don't even like you!"
Yuko smiled again, which unnerved me to no end. Why the hell does he look so triumphant?
He bent forward, until he was eye-level with me. I gulped, staring deep into his brown eyes.
"So if I tell you right now that I want you to kiss me, you wouldn't?" he asked, his volume of his voice dropping to a low whisper.
Oh lord, have mercy!
My tongue darted out of my mouth and licked my bottom lip as I gaped at Yuko, extremely taken aback by his forwardness.
"Well?" he pushed, his voice so alluring that it rivalled a Siren's.
I...should I? Oh, screw it!
I grabbed the back of his head, standing on my tippy toes. Staring into his warm eyes, I whispered under my breath.
"Forgive me, too."
And we kissed, again. And again.
And again.
-
Woohoooooo is it getting hot in here? xD Well, they finally kissed! Who likes Yuko's slightly domineering personality in this chapter? Asher and Logan and Robin are rubbing off on him, just a little! Hehe...hope you guys enjoyed this chapter after the long wait!
Song of the Chapter: Creep, by Radiohead. The one I included is a cover by Alexandre Guerra :)
Whew, it's been awhile since I've included a song. But I think this one really fits the chapter, with Marissa being a creepy/sort-of depressing :O