*Bit of a warning for this chapter, Matthew is a jerk.*
Mia
Four months later
Four long months had passed.
During those four months, I mostly tried to keep to myself. Matthew and I lived in a lavish mansion that was no more than three miles from the mansion that my parents owned. We had fifteen people on staff at our home- five for the cleaning, five for the kitchen, and five for the gardens. While Matthew spent his days at the office, I spent my days surrounded by the staff as they asked me relentlessly if there was anything they could do for me.
"No thank you," I would smile politely. Once the person left, I would be approached not even ten minutes later by a new person on the staff and asked the same question. It was draining and at the end of the day I wished that we had no staff and I was left to do all the work. At least that would occupy my time.
My relationship with my parents was still not good, but it was getting there. Mother would invite me over for tea every Thursday and we would sit in the large gazebo on the lawn and listen to the birds. Well, at least I tried to listen to them, but Mother would go on and on about how she wanted grandchildren soon and how she thought I looked too skinny. Little did she know that I had been skipping many, many meals because no longer did I have an appetite. My bones stuck out and made me look like a walking stick.
My father and I did not speak. I was still horrified at what he had done to me. I was horrified at all of them, really. The pain and suffering that I had endured in the past four months was enough to make a person kill themselves. Not only was Matthew physically abusive, but my father was mentally abusive. The two of them combined made me no match for them, and so after trying time and time again to stick up for myself I finally just called it quits. It was too much energy to try and help myself, so I let myself be helpless as I sat around and wallowed in self pity.
Nighttime was the worst time of day for me. Matthew and I shared a giant king sized bed with plenty of room to have our own separate space, but he insisted that I lay right next to him every night. For hours I would lay awake as he snored in my ear, his arms wrapped around me, caging me in. He was similar to Harry in the fact that he liked to cuddle, but this made me feel more claustrophobic than comforted.
Harry. I tried not to think of him much. Thinking of him only brought me pain. Sometimes, during the day when Matthew was not around, I would cry. I would kick and scream and bawl my eyes out as snot dripped down my nose and tears pooled down to my chin. I would cry until there were no tears left, and then I would lay in my big bed and try to sleep. Sleeping was my escape. But then, when I awoke, I was reminded that Harry wasn't with me, lying next to me in bed. That fact alone was enough for me to start up another fit.
But sometimes, at least once a day, I let my mind think of him. There were many things that I wondered, like- where was Harry today? Did he miss me? Did he move on? But there was no way for me to figure them out. On the first day that I became Mrs. Miles, I had all connections to the outside world taken from me. No longer could I sit on my phone and scroll through social media and the only time I was allowed to use the computer was under supervision.
Even if Harry had tried to contact me, the only way for us to be able to speak was if it was a face-to-face conversation, and I knew that would not happen in a million years. Sometimes I thought about Cat and how much I wanted to hold her and cuddle her. I wondered if she realized that I was gone and not ever coming back.
"Mrs. Miles," A deep voice summoned me from the doorway to my bedroom, where most of my days was spent. It was 5:15- the usual time that Matthew came home from work.
"Hi," I sighed. "How was work?"
"The usual," Matthew shrugged, taking off his shoes by the door. Still in his business suit, he pulled the covers back and laid next to me, grabbing my butt and pulling me into him. It was extremely uncomfortable. "Do anything exciting today?"
"No," I shook my head. "Just sat around."
"You're allowed in the gardens, you know. As long as you don't leave the property." He kissed my forehead. I had been going out to the gardens each morning for a walk, but I didn't tell him. I didn't want him to know that I was enjoying myself.
"Okay." I mumbled.
"You're awfully quiet," Matthew noted. "How about I get one of the chefs to bring us dinner and wine and we can dine in bed? I'm sure there's something good on television." Getting out of bed to do anything seemed like such a tedious task and wine sounded amazing. I nodded.
Matthew slipped his cellphone out of his pocket and texted one of the staff. I grabbed the remote to the television and flicked through the channels until it landed on E.T. Never once had I watched the show until I lived here, because there was always a chance that Harry would appear on my screen and that was the only way to see him now.
"Really? This show?" Matthew groaned. "It's nothing but self righteous celebrities."
"Isn't that what we are?" I chuckled bitterly. When Matthew's grip on my waist tightened into a fist, I shut my mouth.
We sat and watched the show in silence. I gulped down my wine, not even bothering with looking classy as I drank. Matthew probably didn't care- the only time he got any action was when I was tipsy and only slightly aware of what I was doing. We never went very far and I made it clear to him that we wouldn't, but we still fooled around. It was wrong of me but in my hazy and heartbroken state I would be fine kissing anybody. I just had to settle for my husband.
Matthew cupped my chin with his hand and tilted my head up so that I was looking up to him as we kissed. Our dinner had already been abandoned a long while ago, not that I wouldn't have ate it. The wine was starting to get to me and I felt slightly queasy, but I didn't stop myself. I couldn't stop myself. Half of me wanted to get in the moment and half of me wanted to lay in a corner and cry because kissing Matthew was nothing compared to kissing-
"Harry Styles was recently spotted in Hollywood Blvd. with Kendall Jenner this Tuesday," The woman on E.T interrupted my thoughts. My lips froze against Matthew's and I pulled my head away, eyes glued to the television.
There was a picture of Harry, Kendall, and some people I didn't know sitting around a table at a restaurant. I didn't even care that he was with another girl, instead I stared in awe at the screen. His hair was getting much, much longer. He wore a lacy shirt and his usual skinny jeans. He had a bit of a mustache. I wanted to faint.
"This is why you watch this pathetic show?" Matthew snarled. "For him?"
"Yeah." I admitted, still slightly drunk from my red wine.
"You're pathetic," He chuckled. "You are a married woman, Mia. Move on. It's obvious that he already has, so you should start doing the same or there will be serious repercussions." He gripped my arm harshly and shook me.
"It's okay that he's with her," I shrugged. "I just want him to be happy."
"You're crazy," Matthew laughed. "You are insane."
"We were happy," I mumbled. "We were so happy together."
"And now he's happy with her," Matthew reminded me. "And you are married. You belong to me, Mia, not him."
"I never belonged to him," I defended myself. "Harry wasn't like that, he didn't treat me like I was something to be-"
Matthew grabbed my throat. With wide eyes, I tried to process what he was doing as the air escaped my lungs. I scratched at his hands, furiously clawing at them to get off of me as the air left my lungs. This had never happened before with him and it scared me to death. I tried to speak, to tell him to stop, but I couldn't. My head was beginning to hurt- a dull ache, like a brain freeze.
He waited a few seconds before letting go. I coughed and tried to breathe. For the first few seconds, there was literally no air entering my lungs and I had a panicked feeling that I would die of suffocation. When I finally regained ability to breath, I took so many deep breaths that it hurt my throat like it was sore. All the while, Matthew sat on the bed and sipped on his wine like nothing had even happened.
"What was that?" I croaked.
"Sometimes you just need to shut up, Mia. It's annoying."
I wanted to run out of the room, away from him, because of how terrified I was. The few seconds that I couldn't breathe were quite possibly the scariest moments of my entire life. If I had access to a phone, I would have called the police for sure. Still shaking because of how scared I was, Matthew grabbed my waist and pulled me back into bed, petting my hair. He was a psychopath, there was no doubt about it. Without any warning, I began to cry. Matthew didn't say anything.
We sat in silence for a minute or so before he got up and left. Once he was gone I started to sob, curling my legs up into my chest and lying in the fetal position. I knew that I needed to get help, not just from Matthew but from my dad as well. The two of them combined surely would kill me. My body was still shaking because of how scary the whole experience was and I racked my brain, trying to come up with good escape plans but turning up with literally nothing.
Matthew didn't come back. I was alone for the entire night, which I was perfectly fine with. Matthew honestly terrified me, he was a dangerous man that shouldn't be trusted. It was mind boggling that someone could be so evil, but now after witnessing it firsthand I realized that there were people in the world that were truly evil. Matthew and my family were prime examples of the evil that lives in the world.
Even though everything seemed hopeless at the time, I still had to remain strong. If I didn't then I would go crazy. I knew in my heart that living with Matthew was only temporary and some day Harry and I would be reunited. Still, I didn't know how Harry and I were going to ever see each other. Maybe it would be years from now. But as long as my fate wasn't with being partners with Matthew for the rest of my life, I was willing to wait.
There was nothing that I could do to save myself, so I had to wait for Harry to make that call or wait for an opportunity to arise.
a/n:
I AM SO SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE. I have been working like crazy lately, school work has been draining, I barely have time to myself anymore, our Internet completely shut down, then I was away for a little. It's been a busy life, but I'm back!
Thoughts on the chapter? I realize it's short, but I wanted to post something. Don't worry, I won't be disappearing for a month this time! lol.
- Delilah