Kendra
I woke up and there was chaos in my house.
"What do you mean?" I heard my brother Rowland growled. The tone of his voice scared me. My brother was an intimidating dude and easily angered, but this seemed like something more. This was serious. Then again being the soon-to-be Beta of our pack and built tall, muscular and with a wide frame, he was never really not serious. He definitely didn't take shit from no one and he didn't seem too happy right now.
I felt the knots in my long deep brown, loose curly hair. I didn't care, though. I stumbled out of my bed half awake in my short shorts and a tight tank top that highlighted my long legs and curves very nicely. I was very in shape. I had to be . . . I am a werewolf. So is my brother, along with the rest of our pack which half of was in Cali across the country from North Carolina where we were.
My Father, Dean, was Beta of the pack. His best friend, Anthony, was Alpha. Talk about intimidating. Those two together were scary as hell they were both 6 foot 5 inches of pure badass. I was my Daddy's little princess, though. I never saw the scary part of him. Any guy who even considered mating me did, though. That part actually sucked.
When I got downstairs to the gathering room of our large house my brother was pacing in the living room with his phone crashed to his ear and he looked about two seconds away from crushing the thing in his hands. He was only in jeans and looked really tense.
My heart instantly dropped to my stomach. Something was up and it couldn't be good. I became as tense as Rowland. I couldn't move from where I stood.
"Ro, what's going on?" Alex came rushing down fully dressed with five others from our pack on his tale they moved around me carefully and hurried into the living room.
Alex was a few inches shorter than my brother with close to the same amount of muscle. He was devilishly attractive with slightly long, spiked, pitch black hair and nearly black eyes.
Zeke stood. Zeke was equally handsome. He was closer to my brother's height – maybe even a little taller – but he was leaner. His hair was more brown than black and his eyes were green. Zeke and Alex were my brother's right-hand men. "Something has gone wrong. Anthony and Dean went out to raid a Vampire's nest on their own. It was a trap . . ."
There was a whooshing sound in my ears now. No, don't say it!
"They didn't make it out?" Alex growled.
"No," Zeke looked at the ground.
"Oh my God," with those words all of my breath left my lungs and I fell to the kitchen floor.
"Kendra," Alex picked me up holding me to his chest.
"You can't . . . no, you have to be making a mistake somehow . . . no!" Ro growled into the phone, "Damn it!" He growled snapping the phone shut. When he looked up and saw me his face softened.
I had no idea what I looked like, but it couldn't be good. Tears were running freely from my eyes and I felt the blood leave my face. I must have been two shades paler than normal.
He rushed up to me and took me in his arms hugging me tightly to his chest, "It'll be okay, Kendra. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you," He cradled me into his chest.
At this point, I was finally able to move. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into his chest trying to make it go away.
"No, Rowland, it can't be true," I mumbled into his chest.
"Shush, Kendra," He held me tighter.
I turned my head up to face him, "I want to see him again," I pleaded. I had to see him. It was the only way I would be able to accept this. I had to see my father again.
"You will, I promise," He rubbed my back.
"Ro, your phone," Zeke informed.
"Right," Rowland took in a deep breath then let it out, "Alex, take Kendra back to her room," He ordered and I felt his arms release me which were quickly replaced by Alex's arms.
"Can you walk on your own?" He whispered in my ear as Rowland answered his phone.
I nodded my head not wanting to talk, not sure if I could talk as my tears continued to stream down my face and my throat had gone dry. However, when I took one step, my knees gave out underneath me and I stumbled.
Alex quickly caught me and picked me up in a bridal carry and carried me to my room. He sat down on my bed and held me in his lap rocking me and trying to comfort me, but I just felt numb.
How could this be happening? My dad? Gone? No! I couldn't accept it . . . there is no way. The one man in my life that was constant unmoving. Nothing could kill him! Not him and the Alpha! There is no way . . . this has to be some kind of sick joke. And I am going to find whoever is doing this and rip them to shreds.
What seemed like forever later Ro walked through my door and sighed.
I turned and faced him, "So?" I sniffled and rubbed more tears from my face.
"I have planned out a trip for you to go to California," Ro explained. "Dad is being buried," I could see the pain in his eyes even though he kept a strong exterior. He was hurting just as much as me, but he refused to show it. My brother . . . ever strong like my Father. "with Anthony there. You will be staying with Anthony's son and the rest of the pack. He's the Alpha now. He should take care of you."
My heart stopped, "You're not coming with me?" I felt my tears coming back. How could he even think of leaving me alone at a time like this? Who does he think he is?
"I can't, Kendra. I have to stay here. Look over this half of the pack. I can't just pick up and leave them," He sighed looking hurt, "I'm the Beta now . . . I have responsibilities."
"No!" I growled standing up and pushing out of Alex's arms. Anger replace the grief quickly, "You can't be Beta now. Rowland, it's dangerous. Our great-grandfather, our grandfather, and now our father all died when they became Beta. They died young and fighting . . . I will not lose you too!" And with that, now angry tears began to flow. I can not loose my whole family in one day!
"Kendra," He begged looking as if he expected this reaction from me, "I have no choice. You have no say in this."
"No, Rowland, please," I begged, feeling helpless.
"Damn it, Kendra, I am your older brother, not some weak child. You will listen to me. You are going to California to witness our Father's funeral and I am staying here and taking up my Beta position. End of discussion," He growled and I cowered away from him. I could tell he had to be Beta it was in his blood and he fit the position perfectly. Even Zeke and Alex cowered. But he will forever be my brother . . . not my Beta.
"Rowland," I whimpered.
He stepped up to me and took my face in his hand, "I will never leave you, Kendra. I will always be here for you until you will no longer need me. I will always take care of you," He looked into my eyes.
Tears escaped my eyes, "I'll always need you, Rowland," I whimpered.
"I know," He sighed and pulled me back into his chest.
He gave orders to Alex and Zeke to organize my ride to the airport and after a few minutes of holding me, I was able to let him go so I could pack.
I felt sick the whole entire time. I just wanted to lay down and die, but I knew I could do no such thing. As the Beta's only daughter and the Alpha only having one son and no daughters, I was the highest ranking female wolf in our pack. That had just as much responsibility as being the Alpha or Beta. I was supposed to mate soon. I was supposed to create the strongest wolves of the next generation.
When Rowland looked at me I knew he could tell what kind of responsibility I was under. All these things I was supposed to do. It sure as hell didn't mean I want to do them or that I was actually going to do them.
After an hour drive to the airport, a painful goodbye and a never ending airplane ride, a numb trip through security, I was finally waiting in the Cali airport. I was told by Rowland that I would get a ride from the airport to the Alpha's house, which was apparently an orchard.
I was completely dazing off when a large black pick-up truck pulled up in front of me. Shocked I stumbled back a step, but then I sighed of relief when Tristan walked around from the driver's side and up to me.
Tristan was tall, lean and tan with dark black hair and deep blue eyes. He was very attractive, not that I was noticing it at the moment. I grew up with this wolf. He was my brother's best friend and I was unrealistically happy to see a familiar face in a place so full of strangers.
"Tristan," I sighed and stepped up to him wrapping my arms around him.
He sighed and held me tight for a moment and then pulled away, "Let's get you back to the house. The funeral will be tonight and it's a long drive," He sighed picking up my luggage and putting it in the covered back of the truck and then he held open the passenger's side door open for me. I got in and he closed the door and then he hurried around to the driver's side and got in and sped out of the parking lot.
When we were on the main road he reached over and grabbed my hand, "How are you doing, baby girl?" He sighed.
I just looked at him helplessly as a tear fell down my cheek, "Not good," My voice cracked.
He sighed and squeezed my hand, "I know, baby girl, I know," He looked back to the road and pressed down harder on the gas and we shot forward picking up speed down the increasingly deserted street towards the Alpha's house.
Derek
"Where the hell is Tristan?" I growled at the male wolves in the room.
To say I wasn't taking my father's death well would be the understatement of the millennium. I was seriously pissed and I wanted to go out there and rip that vampire nest apart. Thankfully my pack was keeping me busy with stupid work. Arranging my father's funeral along with the Beta's. Completely unnecessary.
That was another thing I was seriously pissed about. The Beta had been around for almost a month before this all happened I was starting to get used to him. He was straight badass like my father and I appreciated that. But no . . . he was gone too. I was Alpha now and his son was the Beta. I had met his son before. He is strong . . . at least that's what I remember. He has got to be strong if he is the Beta's son right? What does is fucking matter . . . He is Beta now and I am Alpha and there is not a damn thing we can do about it whether we are ready or not.
"He went to pick up the Beta's daughter from the airport," Elena walked up to me. She was a very curvy, very sexy, young blonde female wolf, but I was just annoyed by her right now. I was annoyed by everyone right now. Everyone was speaking softly, trying to comfort me and keep me calm when all I wanted to do was kill.
"When did he leave? When will he be back?" I demanded. Tristan was my right-hand man. I needed someone who knew me enough to help me get my head on straight. Now of these assholes were even close to that.
"Please calm down, Derek," Elena placed her small fragile hand on my muscled bicep and I glared at her. This was not working. There are too many people, too many watching eyes, too much responsibility! I need air!
She sighed and pulled away giving up.
"He should be back soon," someone replied.
"Who should be back soon?" Tristan walked into the room.
"What the hell took you so long?" I growled.
"Sorry, I had to take care of her, Derek," Tristan looked slightly upset, "She's not taking this too well."
She's not taking this too well? How the hell do you think I am doing? A growl rumbled through my chest, "Where is she?"
"In the room, we had saved for her. Third floor, last door at the end of the hall," He explained.
"Great," I stepped towards the hallway to the stairs.
"Derek, don't," Tristan blocked my way.
"Why not? She should take care of this too! Why do I have to deal with it on my own?" I growled. "My father is just as dead as her's!" I snapped.
"Go get some air, Derek. I will take care of this. I will make sure everything is set," He said seriously.
"Fine," I growled and I turned and ran outside and into the trees of the orchard. I was slowly losing myself until I was suddenly running on all fours instead of on my two feet. I didn't care I turned and ripped my clothes. I just kept running. I turned through the maze of the orchard until I finally reach the cliff that overlooked the water. I stopped and sat breathing hard. I let a painful howl rip through the air. Being in wolf form made dealing with the pain easier. I could focus on the burning of my lungs and legs and not the breaking of my heart.
When I had finally calmed down I realized what I had done. I just left a morning pack without an Alpha. I had responsibilities now. I couldn't just run off and have a temper tantrum. I had a pack to comfort and care for. I was no longer the Alpha's son with all the power and none of the responsibility. I am the Alpha now . . . and I have to start acting like one.
I stood and quickly pumped my legs so I was back at the house in no time.
Tristan was standing the first row of the orchard. He handed me a pile of cloth with a knowing look. I took the clothes in my mouth and went further into the trees. I changed back into my human form and dressed in the jeans and t-shirt and then walked back out to him.
"Everything is set, Derek. You should go get ready," He said sadly.
"And the Beta's daughter . . . I mean sister. She's the Beta's sister now," I corrected myself aloud.
"Yeah," Tristan sighed, "Be careful with that, though. Don't say anything like that around her," he warned.
I nodded, "You seem to talk about her like you know her." I noticed how much he cared for her. I wondered if he had feelings for her and suddenly an odd feeling ran through my veins . . . Jealousy? Jealousy of a girl I haven't met? No, it must be something else.
"I grew up with her and her brother. We were really close until I was forced to move out here. I am just glad I can be here for her now. I don't know how she would take this without knowing anyone here. She is already taking it pretty hard," He explained.
"She is coming to the funeral," I stated.
"Of course, that's the whole reason she came, Derek. She would give anything to be with her brother right now," He said looking at me a little shocked.
"Good, I just . . . I was just making sure," I replied a little uncomfortable. He was right that was really cold, but I didn't mean it that way. I just wanted to make sure she would be there . . . so I could see her, make sure she is okay. I mean she is my responsibility now . . . wait, what?
"Come on, dude, let's go get ready," Tristan turned towards the house and I followed him my heart aching with every step. I am not ready for this.
I had this odd sensation, though. I wanted to run up to the Beta female's room and hold her. I wanted to comfort her and tell her everything would be alright. And for some reason, I felt insanely jealous of Tristan's connection to her, of how he talked about her lovingly. I wanted the Beta female to be mine . . . and mine alone.
I hadn't even met the girl for God's sake! What is wrong with me?
Kendra
I just finished getting dressed and there was a knock on my door. I had time to take a quick shower and get dressed after I got here from the airport. I was reluctant to put on makeup, but I decided to pull out the waterproof stuff and prettied myself up as much as possible. I wanted to look presentable for as long as possible.
I was in a sleek black dress. It hugged my body all the way to where it stopped just below my knees. It had quarter sleeves and had a high rounded v-neck. I had on plain black heels and I left my hair down to dry naturally and slightly curly.
I sighed taking one last look at myself in the mirror before turning to answer the door to my bedroom. Which was huge, by the way. It had a queen sized bed, a love seat, a walk-in closet, a full bathroom and a balcony overlooking the orchard and the cliff out to the water. It was amazing.
I was too numb to truly appreciate it, though. The real me was in the back of my mind just chomping at the bit to break free and do a happy dance at how princessy this room was. But I wouldn't let myself go. To either way. I had been holding back tears for nearly an hour now.
I opened the door to a foreign face.
She was about my height in heels and a skimpy black dress. It had spaghetti straps, barely hit mid-thigh and was extremely low cut. I wanted to rip her head off. Did the bitch honestly think she was wearing that to my father's funeral? I sighed and reined myself in.
I swear with all this reined in emotion I was about two moments from exploding.
She was blonde and the sadness on her face looked sincere so I let the dress go.
"I'm Elena," She sighed, "I am so sorry for your loss," She stood straight placing a hand on my upper arm.
"Where is Tristan?" I demanded ignoring the sorrow in her voice. I could not let myself give in and cry in front of these wolves. I didn't even know them. They didn't know me. I would not show weakness, my father wouldn't want me to, neither would my brother. I could cry later when I was alone.
"He is with Derek. I was told to come get you," She explained an unspoken apology swimming in her eyes.
"Who is Derek?" I asked quietly trying to hide my annoyance. Who the hell is this guy? Why would Tristan leave me to strangers like this?
Her eyes widened slightly and then realization crossed her face, "He's the new Alpha." She explained easily.
"Okay," I sighed and held myself straight as we walked down the hall, down the two flights of stairs and through the house. We walked out the back door to the orchard and a large black truck was waiting for us. I got into the back and she got into the passenger side. I didn't recognize the driver and I didn't care. I just watched the trees pass by as we speed through the maze-like orchard.
When we finally pulled up to the cliff side and the two holes were dug with the caskets set beside them I thought I was going to lose it, but I controlled myself. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath slowly letting it out. It was shaky and slightly hitched towards the end and did nothing on the tightness in my throat or the burning in my eyes.
The driver got out and opened my door for me. I stepped out and walked straight up to the foot of the caskets.
This is when the first tear fell from my eyes, but I held in my whimper as I continued to silently cry. Without letting out a sound allowed a few tears to escape, blurring my vision.
I can do this. I can get through this. I can do this!
People around whispered to each other. That's the Beta's daughter. She is not what I expected. Is she even crying?
Good. I didn't want to show how weak I was and let them think what they will of me. I was burying my father at 18. My whole world was falling apart around me. I just wanted to run back to the big room and the big bed and hide for days, but I couldn't. I had to be strong for my father, my brother and my pack.
I was able to stay strong throughout the ceremony, but once they started filling in the holes and the people started leaving I could feel myself slipping. I couldn't watch them bury my father anymore so I looked up expecting to look out onto the water, but I looked up at a man.
He was strong. He stood tall and he was very muscular but in a healthy, no-steroids kind of way. His hair was pitch black and slightly long in a messy look, but in a way it looked stylish. He was dressed in a tight black v-neck and dark jeans. His strong defined face – that I am sure would have been beautiful under any other circumstance – was set in an expression that I could only explain as pure hate, blind rage and dangerous revenge. His arms were at his side and his fists clenched and looked painful. I wanted to walked and comfort him . . . I didn't even know who he was.
I looked away. I was not checking out some guy at my father's funeral.
I looked back down to the graves which was a really bad idea. They were placing the headstones. When I saw my father's name carved into the cold stone I completely lost it, but everyone was gone so I didn't care.
"No," I cried and my knees collapsed from under me as the tears caught their second wind. Suddenly there were manly arms around me stopping me from hitting the ground.
I was prepared to fight the man off, but then he spoke, "Shush, Kendra. I'm here," Tristan rubbed my back holding me close to his chest.
"He's gone," I cried into his chest, gripping his waist to pull myself closer to him.
"I'm so sorry, baby girl," He mumbled into my hair holding me tightly.
I sniffled and turned my head looking at the grave. I slightly stepped back from Tristan.
I could see the tears in his eyes, but he was staying strong for me. Bless him! He was like my brother before he moved here and I could tell that connection was still there between us. He would do anything to comfort me and make me happy. I couldn't thank him more for that.
I sighed and wiped my tears from my cheeks, "I am going to say goodbye and then can we leave?"
He nodded silently and I turned away from him and walked up in-between the heads stones where I slowly kneeled between them. I turned my head and looked at my father's and then Anthony's. Anthony had always been like an uncle to me, even though I had only met him a few times. I didn't know anyone here. I loved both of these men . . . how could they both be ripped from my life so suddenly?
I sniffled as I placed a single black rose on each headstone. The black rose is the symbol for Lycans or werewolves.
I kissed my fingertips and traced my father's name and then I turned back to see Tristan stand over me with his head bowed and his eyes closed.
I stood and stepped up to him placing my hands on his chest. He didn't react.
"Are you okay?" My voice sounded weak from the crying and cracked slightly.
He sighed and nodded and then opened his eyes and kissed my forehead and then wrapped his arm around my waist and guided me to his truck. He helped me in and we drove back to the house.
We were nearly at my room by the time he finally spoke again.
"Is there anything I can get you, baby girl?" He asked the sorrow deep in his voice.
I had been hiding my emotions again. The mixture of them was building up to a dangerous frustration and I really just wanted to let it all out. Screaming and crying were out. I had been crying straight for two days since I heard the news and it clearly wasn't helping. I was still hurt, the pain course through my veins turning me ice cold, but at the same time anger burned through at having been forced through this. And that man . . . stand on the other side of the graves . . . think of had a different heat burning through me. I need to let all of this out, the pain and frustration and anger and hate. I could go for a run, but I had a better idea. I had been thinking about this the whole way back to the house.
We were now standing in front of my room. Tristan's warm arm was still around me and there was only one thing I could think of doing to get out my emotions.
I turned to him.
"Tristan," I sighed.
He looked at me lovingly and I couldn't hold myself in any longer.
I pressed my lips to his and gripped my hands in his hair. He tightened his arm around my waist and kissed me back.
He pressed his body to mine and suddenly my back was against the wall.
My hands pulled at his hair holding on tightly, begging him to deepen the kiss. He instead pulled away breathing hard.
"Tristan," I moaned, "Don't you think we should move this into the bedroom."
I slowly opened my eyes to meet his. His pupils were majorly dilated and it was clear he was more wolf right now. That was incredibly hot.
"Kendra," He sighed as his pupils shrunk back to normal. "Shit." He pulled away from me, "Shit." He stepped away, running his hand through his hair, "What are you doing?"
"What? You seemed to be enjoying it," I smirked. I needed this, come on . . . please.
"Any guy in his right state of mind would enjoy it if you jumped on him like that," He slowly looked me over, "I can't though."
"Why?" I said shocked.
"Because you are not thinking straight right now. I don't want to do this and then have you feeling bad about it later," He sighed running his hand through his hair again. "You need to let out your emotions . . . not hide them behind sex."
I pushed off the wall and stepped up to him. "I don't want to, Tristan," I said clearly. "I don't want to feel the pain anymore," I growled. "I just want to get away from this for a minute . . . please . . ."
"Yeah, you're saying that now . . ."
"Tristan, I have a lot of pent up emotion right now and I just want to let it out, okay? Can't you just help me with that?" I sighed.
"Rowland would kill me," He said shaking his head.
"Rowland's not here," I growled. "What he says doesn't matter."
He sighed, "It's not his fault he's not here, baby girl. Maybe you should call him . . ." You need to talk . . ."
"No, I don't need therapy . . . I need a distraction," I growled annoyed running my hands through my hair. I turned and shoved open my door walking into the room. I kicked out of the heels killing my feet. Great . . . just more pain.
"Kendra, I want to help you . . . just not like this," He sighed walking in and closing the door behind him.
"Can you help me with the zipper?" I asked annoyed.
He walked up behind me and swiped my hair over my shoulder and then unzipped my dress.
I shrugged my shoulders and let it drop to the floor.
I heard him take in a sharp breath and turned around to see him taking in my body, only dress in lacy black underwear.
"You need this too," I pleaded moving my fingers through his hair.
"Kendra, you just need some time . . . It will get better and I will be here for you through it all, but this is not the way . . ."
"Stop," I growled and pressed my lips to his stopping his argument.