"I got a job!" I told Harry Tuesday afternoon on the phone. I knew he was getting ready to head out the door for work, so I wanted to catch him.
"That's great!" he exclaimed. "When do you start?"
"Tomorrow. They need someone right away, but they're wiling to take me half a day until school's out."
"Wonderful. I'm so happy for you, love."
"Thanks," I beamed.
On Monday I had gone to the temp agency to speak with a woman there about possible job placement. She sent me on an interview on Tuesday after school with a small real estate office. I felt like the interview had gone well, and by four o'clock I'd gotten the call that I had the job. I was so incredibly relieved.
"I'm off tomorrow so when you get home, I'll take you out to celebrate," said Harry. "Our Japanese restaurant if you'd like."
"Yes, I'd like that," I replied.
Soon after I hung up the phone, Penny arrived home. I told her the good news as soon as she walked through the door.
"Oh, I'm so happy for you, baby doll," she expressed as she embraced me in a tight hug. "I knew things would work out for you."
"Thanks, Penny."
"So here's the plan," she said as she set her purse on the kitchen counter. "My band has a gig on Saturday, the 20th. I'd love for you and Harry to come. And I was thinking we could sort of celebrate Christmas together before Zack and I leave for his parents' the next day."
"That sounds like fun," I smiled.
Penny narrowed her eyes and sucked in her lips as though she was afraid to say the next thing.
"I thought we could exchange gifts," she said hesitantly.
"That's fine," I nodded.
"Are you sure? We don't have to, Tisa. I know you're kind of watching your money right now."
"It's fine," I repeated. "No problem."
"Perhaps we should set a limit?" Penny offered. "Say, twenty-five dollars?"
I felt my shoulders relax. "That's a good idea."
"Okay," Penny grinned. "Good."
I cooked dinner that night for Penny and me, and then we watched a little television before heading to bed. Tomorrow was a big day.
And a big day it was indeed. Jacobson popped a quiz on us that I had not been prepared for, but I suppose that's why they call it a pop quiz. I left the classroom feeling like I had a 50/50 chance of passing it. Harry kissed me goodbye, wishing me luck on my first day on the job before heading to his next class. The temperature had dropped tremendously over the last week, so I pulled my hood over my head and walked to the snack bar for some hot cocoa.
English class was almost as bad as History. No pop quiz, but Professor Lloyd had us write a trial paper of sorts about our last book. Unfortunately I wasn't fully caught up on it yet, so I couldn't write as much as I would have liked. But luckily it wasn't for a grade.
Already feeling unnerved about the day's events, I stopped at Penny's to have a quick lunch before heading to work. There was something else that was weighing on my mind, but I pushed it aside so that I may clear my head for my new job.
All of my nerves and anguish washed away when I walked into the small office. The lovely woman with whom I had interviewed named Geraldine greeted me, immediately showing me to my desk. She showed me the basics, which I already knew, but I enjoyed listening to her speak. She then ushered me through the office, introducing me to everyone including two of the lead real estate agents (the third was out of the office), an older woman from the accounting department, and the IT guy. Then we stopped in the break room where she offered me some coffee. I poured myself a cup before returning to the reception desk.
My afternoon went by fairly quickly, and before I knew it, it was time to go home. Everyone waved goodbye to me on their way out, and then Geraldine showed me how to switch the phone to night mode, turn out the lights and lock the doors. I followed her out to the parking lot where she patted me on the back and said she'd see me the next day.
Penny happened to be climbing the stairs to her apartment just as I was. She giggled when she saw me, our coming home together a first.
"How'd it go?" she inquired.
"Great," I nodded. "Very pleasant."
"Good! That's just what you need."
I wasn't in the door ten minutes when my phone rang.
"How was your first day?" asked Harry when I answered.
I chuckled.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," I said. "I just got finished telling Penny. I guess it just feels great to have people care about me."
"Well, of course we do," Harry conveyed with a smile in his voice. "So I take it it went well."
"Yes, very well."
Before we hung up, Harry said he was on his way to pick me up so we could go to dinner. I knew I needed to talk to him about the thing that was bothering me. And I couldn't put it off.
*
"So Penny asked if we could get together on the 20th," I said as I spread wasabi on my sushi. "To see her band play and exchange gifts."
Harry nodded, taking a sip of tea.
"Yeah, Zack mentioned that. I'm off that night so it sounds good to me."
"Okay. Did he mention the price limit?"
"There's a price limit?" Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Well...yeah..." I paused. "Twenty-five dollars. But I think it was more for my benefit because Penny knows I can't spend very much."
"Tisa, you don't have to get me anything," said Harry. "You don't have to get any of us anything."
"But I want to," I muttered.
Harry smiled softly, reaching his hand across the table to cover mine.
"I know. I'm just saying you don't have to. Especially if it puts you in a bind."
I swallowed hard before releasing my hand from his grasp and placing it in my lap.
"Speaking of that..." I hesitated. "I need to ask you something."
Harry sat up and looked at me intently. "Sure."
"Um...well...I hate to ask you for a favor. But my car payment is due the fifteenth. That's Monday. And with me just starting this job -"
"Of course, Tisa," Harry interrupted. "I told you anything you need, I can help you with."
My shoulders dropped. "I promise, it's just until I get my paycheck, and then I can pay you back."
He held up his hands. "No worries. It's totally fine."
"Thanks."
"Tisa," said Harry, crossing his arms in front of him on the table, "there's something I haven't told you. Not because I was keeping it a secret, it just never really came up or I just didn't think it was important."
I furrowed my eyebrows as he leaned forward.
"I have money. I'm not wealthy by any means, but I....have enough to live on for now. When I was born, both my parents and my grandparents set up savings accounts for me. By the time I turned eighteen, both were substantial amounts, particularly my grandparents' because they had started putting in double the amount before they passed away. When they did pass away, I was left a lot of money from them. I got half when I turned eighteen, and I get the other half when I turn twenty-one."
"Wow," I whispered.
"Yeah. I mean, just to give you an idea, my parents' savings account alone pays for my college. All of it, including books."
"Damn," I muttered. "Then...what about your job?"
Harry shrugged. "I work at Mikado's because it's the right thing to do. I'm not going to be living off of my grandparents my whole life. My paycheck pays my rent and some of my other bills. But I do have that savings that I can use if I need it."
I pursed my lips. "And now you're giving some to me."
"Yes," he nodded. "Because you need it. And I'm in the position to help you."
"And take care of me," I said under my breath.
"What?"
I shook my head. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. I love you, Tisa."
I smiled as I grabbed my water glass.
"I love you, too."
*
The rest of the week went well. No more pop quizzes, and I was able to catch up on my reading for Lloyd. My job was going great so far, and I felt like I would continue liking it there.
Harry was off on Friday, and mostly because I was exhausted, we decided to do a little switcheroo. Penny stayed with Zack, and Harry came and stayed with me. I felt a little guilty making him sleep on the pull-out sofa bed with me, but he assured me he didn't mind and honestly I would have felt weird using Penny's bed. By nine o'clock I was so tired, so we just laid on the bed and watched television until I dozed off. I didn't even know when Harry had turned off the TV or the lamp, and the next thing I knew he was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
I got up and used the restroom, then I walked into the kitchen behind him, wrapping my arms around him.
"Mmm," I sighed, resting my hands on his bare torso. "Good morning."
"Morning," Harry replied, his voice still raspy from sleep.
"Whatcha making?" I asked, peeking around him.
"Pancakes."
"Yum!" I exclaimed as I watched him flip one in the pan. "I haven't had pancakes in forever."
"Here you go then," said Harry, adding the one he'd just finished to a pile already made on a plate. "Enjoy. Your coffee's ready too."
I grinned at him as I grabbed a fork from the drawer and took the plate to the table. Then I took a mug down from the cupboard and poured myself some coffee. When I sat down, I dropped slaps of butter on each layer of pancakes before nearly drowning them in syrup. Harry then joined me at the table, doing the same to his pancakes.
I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the savory delight.
"Good?" Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Delicious!" I said my mouth full. "Thank you, baby."
Harry leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "You're welcome."
"How come you're so good to me?" I asked when I swallowed.
Harry chuckled, an confused smirk on his face.
"What do you mean? You're my girlfriend. I love you. I enjoy making you happy."
I bit my lip, suddenly regretting my words.
"I know. I'm sorry. I appreciate it."
Harry sat back and continued eating, though I could tell his body had not relaxed. Finally, after a few minutes he spoke again.
"Please don't ever doubt my love for you," he said.
"Oh, no, baby, I'm not," I shook my head. "I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry."
"And please don't ever feel like you don't deserve to be treated right," he added. "Because you do."
My face softened into a smile as I nodded. "Okay."
The rest of breakfast was light and pleasant, though I couldn't shake the feeling that I had ruined it. I did not doubt Harry's love for me. He showed it tenfold daily. I supposed his second statement was somewhat true, however. Not that I felt like I didn't deserve to be treated well. But I'd gotten so used to being taken care of, a part of me was curious what it was like not to. It was all so backwards and twisted, and I shook my head, trying to rid my brain of such thoughts.
*
It was the last week of school before the Christmas holidays. Finals week. And my final week. It felt a bit surreal, and also bittersweet. I was glad that I had been able to complete a semester of college, and despite a rocky start in English and having missed practically a week of school from my illness, it looked as though I would reach my goal of making all A's. But even though I was proud of my efforts, it seemed to me that it was all in vain since I wouldn't be able to continue classes the next semester.
Harry did his best to try to assure me it had still all been worth it, even without reminding me that it was because of school that we'd met in the first place. Of course I was grateful for that, and I couldn't shake the solemn feeling that had I not signed up for fall classes, I'd probably still be living with James in a sexless marriage, with no knowledge of him cheating on me. Still, knowing that I wouldn't be returning to school left me with an emptiness inside.
One fortunate thing about it all, a silver lining I liked to call it, was that I would be able to work full-time at my new job and start earning the money I so desperately needed. Taking steps toward independence was what I wanted most, and a major part of what was going to get me through my divorce.
Thursday morning after our Sociology final and Crawford wishing us all Happy Holidays, I was zipping up my backpack when I heard the faint sound of my name being spoken behind me. I turned around to see Charice standing there, an intimidated look on her face. I quickly gazed around the room, surprised she wasn't with her ever present friend Leslie, but she was nowhere to be seen.
"Hi," I said softly.
Charice sucked in her lips and pulled the straps of her backpack tightly around her shoulders.
"Um..." she stumbled, "I just...wanted to apologize. You know, for the whole Britney thing."
I raised my eyebrows. "Not your fault."
"I know...but...it's just...she was kind of my friend. Actually, not really my friend. More like a friend of a friend." Charice shook her head. "Anyway, I was mean and I see now it was uncalled for. I'm sorry."
I blinked. "Well...okay. Thanks."
Charice gave a nervous smile and nodded toward Harry who was standing behind me.
"Sorry," she muttered again.
With that, she turned for the door. I glanced back at Harry who mimicked my shrug. We walked together out of class, stopping for the last time at our fork in the sidewalk. I swallowed hard, remembering many other times we said goodbye at this very spot. I remembered the time I wanted him to kiss me, the time he skipped his next class so he could drive me to that clearing to have sex in his car, and the day he'd told me in class that he'd professed to Zack that he was falling in love with me and I'd felt so nervous, confused and elated when I'd kissed him on the cheek. One more day of school left - my History and English finals - but this would be the last time I'd make the journey to this spot.
I felt Harry squeeze my hands, obviously recognizing that I was deep in thought.
"You okay?" I heard him ask.
"Yeah," I nodded, looking up at his face. Then I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. "I really love you," I breathed into his chest.
I heard him sigh as he ran a hand through my hair. Then he clipped my chin with his finger to look up at him again.
"I really love you too."
He then kissed me softy before leaving for the Science building. As I turned toward the parking lot, I caught sight of Charice again, her face lit up with a pretty smile. She hesitantly lifted a hand to wave, and just as I waved back, Liz walked up next to her, noticed me as well, and gave her own generous wave.
*
School was over. The History final was either extremely easy, or I'd just studied so well that it seemed like it was. Professor Jacobson graded them as we turned them in, and I got an A as did Harry. Jacobson grinned at us as we left the classroom, wishing us the best and a Merry Christmas. Professor Lloyd's final was an essay on the last book we'd read, and although she hadn't graded them yet, I felt like I'd done well.
Harry had to work Friday night, and though he'd invited me to come up to Mikado's, I told him I had to pass. Now that I was working too, I was tired much earlier than usual and my body and brain weren't quite used to my new schedule just yet.
Saturday afternoon Penny and I arrived at Zack & Harry's, ready for our Christmas festivities, gifts in hand, except for my present to Harry which of course I was saving for Christmas day. I'd ended up finding him a vintage Rolling Stones shirt on ebay for a good deal that didn't blow my budget. For Zack I got a set of Cards Against Humanity, and I got Penny a pretty makeup palette.
Because Zack and Penny were going to be leaving the next day, I figured it would have been odd for me to stay alone at Penny's apartment, so I brought enough clothes with me to stay with Harry for the week. Although he tried not to show it, I could tell he was beyond happy. I hadn't made a decision yet about moving in with him, so I kind of thought this would be the next best thing - a trial move-in so to speak.
After a nice early dinner, which included nearly two bottles of wine, we gathered in the living room to open presents. Penny insisted everyone open hers first.
"Penny!" I exclaimed as I pulled the velvety material out of the gift bag. It was a beautiful chenille throw in a deep shade of purple. It was so soft, I immediately held it to my cheek.
"Do you like it?" she asked, on the edge of her seat.
"Yes!" I threw it around my shoulders, cuddling close to Harry so he could feel it. He grinned at me and kissed me on my cheek. "Thank you, Penny," I told her.
"You're welcome."
Zack gave me a great coffee mug with my name on it, and some delicious smelling gourmet coffee. I thanked him as well and gave both him and Penny tight hugs and kisses.
"I hate that I have to miss seeing you two exchange gifts," Penny pouted when everyone else had opened their presents.
I eyed her because she knew what I'd gotten Harry. But I also wondered if she knew what he'd gotten me. I had to admit that I was both anxious and nervous to open his gift. I hoped he hadn't gotten me something extravagant, but knowing his financial situation I knew there was a possibility he had.
"I guess you'll just have to see when you get back," I smirked as I stood up from the sofa.
I excused myself to go to the restroom before we headed out to the bar to see Penny's band. I was already feeling the effects of the wine, but I knew we still had a long night ahead of us. Her band still had to set up and Penny had told us we didn't have to come as early, but we all insisted it was fine because we wanted to go together. We would just sit and have drinks before the band played.
"Harry!" I heard Penny exclaim as soon as I opened the bathroom door. "Are you going to ask her to marry you?"
"Shhh!" Harry sounded. "Keep your voice down."
I quickly stepped back and pulled the door, leaving it open just a crack. I could feel my pulse racing and my heart beating so loudly I was sure they could hear it in the other room.
"Is that what you want, man?" Zack inquired.
I didn't hear Harry's voice reply, but instead Penny piped up again.
"More importantly, are you sure that's what Tisa wants?"
"What do you mean?" asked Harry.
"I mean, she's been through a lot. Her divorce isn't even final yet. Maybe she just wants to get her own life together before merging with someone else's."
I felt myself nodding in agreement at Penny's words. I loved Harry so much. But I wasn't ready to get married again. I hadn't even given him an answer to our moving in together yet, and he was planning on proposing? The idea made me very uneasy.
"I know I want her," I heard Harry declare. "I want to be with her. I want to take care of her."
"Maybe she doesn't need someone to take care of her," Penny commented.
If I hadn't been trying to hide behind the bathroom door, I would have run out and hugged Penny. She knew exactly how I felt. Instead, I stood frozen in the bathroom, waiting to hear Harry's next words.
"You don't think I should?" he asked meekly.
"I don't know, man," said Zack. "Maybe wait til her divorce is final?"
"But that's a month away," Harry argued.
"Listen, baby doll," Penny began. I caught a glimpse of her walking across the room through the crack of the door. "Tisa loves you. I know that, as sure as the sun does shine. But try to put yourself in her shoes. She's been in a dead-end marriage for a long time. This is the first time she's been on her own, gotten to be her own person."
"I know," agreed Harry. "I understand that."
"Do you really?" Silence filled the room until Penny continued with a sigh. "Look, I can't tell you what to do. And I can't tell you what Tisa will say. She might say yes. Just...keep in mind that this isn't easy for her."
"I don't want anything to be difficult for her, Penny," said Harry. "I want her to have everything she deserves."
Deciding I'd heard enough, I cleared my throat and stepped out of the bathroom. Penny gave me a nervous look before breaking into a soft smile.
"Ready?"
"Yep," I nodded, grabbing my jacket.
I followed everyone outside and got into Harry's car. Other than the sound of the radio, we drove silently for a while. After a couple of songs, Harry looked over at me and grabbed my hand. I wondered if he knew that I'd overheard their conversation, but concluded that he most likely didn't and was only contemplating his own worry in his head. He lifted my hand and kissed my fingers, giving me a grin. I returned his smile and sat back in the seat. It would do no good to worry about this tonight when we were going out to have a good time with friends.
Penny had been right about everything. But the comment she was the most correct about was that I loved Harry. Did not wanting to marry him mean I didn't love him as much as he loved me?
***A/N***
Happy Valentine's Day! Sorry this update didn't include more romance for this special day lol. What do you think is going to happen? Will Harry take Penny and Zack's advice and wait, or do you think he'll propose??
Thanks for reading!! Please remember to vote and comment if you liked it.