Sometimes you just have to face the facts: It wasn't meant to be.
March 18, 2012
Anastasia Greene's Bedroom
I slammed my door shut and charged to my dresser, pulling the drawers out and dumping the clothes on the bed. I pulled open the closet door and snatched all the clothes, tossing them onto the bed.
Then my door came flying open and it roughly hit the wall.
"You can't just leave like this!" Harry looked furious, and he wasn't letting me leave without another argument.
"You can go ahead and watch me." I began folding my clothes and he ran his hands through his disheveled hair.
"You can't," he snapped under his breath and grabbed my arm, stopping me from moving.
"Don't touch me again." I yanked my arm away from him and continued to fold my clothes.
"I'm not letting you leave," he grated and grabbed my arm again, but I pulled it back and smacked him hard in the face.
"I said don't touch me!" I hissed and he left his head where it had been turned.
"I don't want you to leave, Anastasia. I want you to stay here with me." He grabbed my hands and I widened my eyes at him, but he didn't bother to let go.
"You say you want me to stay, yet you're always the one chasing me away," I muttered and he let go of my hands, "I'll leave tomorrow. So that gives you plenty of time to yell at me and tell me every fucking thing that's wrong with me tonight." I put my hands on my hips and he shook his head.
"I still won't let you leave." He bit his lip and I looked away from him.
"Well there's nothing you can do to stop me. Gina probably wants me gone, I know Penelope wants me gone. And I'm pretty sure you want me gone. Maybe we can add Haley to the damned list." I walked past him and picked up my phone, calling Malina.
"Hello, Gomer," she said and I sighed.
"Hey. Can you have my house ready for me? I want to throw a big party tomorrow. Invite everyone that you can, including the football players. I'm sure that they wouldn't mind seeing me." I smiled and she laughed at me.
"Okay. I'll have it ready. Oh, and Anastasia. Say hi to that rich asshole for me," she said before ending the call.
"Not going to happen M," I said and rolled my eyes.
I walked back over to my bed and grabbed the suitcase out from under it.
"Ana. Please, don't make the bad decision," Harry muttered and I laughed.
"Oh honey I already did," I looked at him and sneered, "I decided to come here, didn't I?"
"I hate what you're doing to yourself, bébé,"he said and I looked at him again, "But I love what you're doing to me. But it still drives me crazy every single time I look at you. I have to make you love me."
"You had my love once, but you pushed it away. You know, whenever you kissed Penelope the second night I gave myself to you." He balled his fists.
"Would you get over that?! My God Anastasia!" He tangled his fingers in his hair and looked up to the ceiling, "You know I'm sorry about that."
"Oh really? Because you didn't make it clear that you were," I rolled my eyes and sighed, "You do want to be with her, and that's fine."
"Would you stop making shit up in your head?!" He grabbed my shoulders, "I already fucking told you that I wanted to be with you!"
"I wanna know what you think love is," I muttered and he sighed, "Because it sure as hell isn't making me nervous every time you stalk near me, and it's not yelling at me every second chance that you get. What do you think love is? Or are you just infatuated with the thought of making me unhappy?" Tears fell from my eyes and he tried to wipe them away, but I pulled from his grasp.
"I just don't want to be without you. I don't want to be alone." He shook his head and I laughed out a little.
"Harry. You will never be alone. All your life, you are going to be surrounded by people who love you and adore you. You will never be alone," I stated and he walked up to me, grabbing my hands in his again.
"But I want you to be one of those people, Anastasia," he whispered and I went to pull away but his eyes locked onto me.
Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. They were warm, and man how I wanted to kiss him back, but I can't keep living like this.
"Please kiss me back," he mumbled on my lips, bringing his hands up to my neck.
With a groan, I did, but it felt so wrong and it didn't felt right, but at the same time it was coated with so much pleasure that I couldn't help myself.
He pressed my body to the door as he closed it, and I tried to stop kissing him, but my will was too strong.
"Do you not feel that?" he asked, pulling away.
By that, do you mean by the way your lips perfectly mold to mine and make my heat up like a thousand fires? Than yes, I did feel that.
I nodded my head and he smiled.
"But it's still wrong. Harry, I can not stay here. No matter what happens, I always get hurt." I tried to move from my position on the wall, but he put an arm on either side of me.
"Do you honestly think that you're the only one who gets hurt?" he asked and I looked down.
Well it wasn't my first thought. But since you're always the one who hurts me, I kind of figured you were happy all the time without me. But now look at youlook at us. We're a mess. Because we're together." I looked into his eyes and he blinked twice.
He bent his elbows so his face was closer to mine, "So you don't want to be close to each other? At all?"
"Not if it risks making us unhappy," I mumbled and he snapped his eyes onto mine.
"Go ahead. Tell me that you hate me again. Tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you wouldn't give a damn if I went and asked Penelope to marry me right now," he demanded and I let my tears fall.
"You know I can't do that." I wiped my tears away and he leaned in closer to me.
"Leave," he said hastily.
"But you're wanting me to stay." I cried and he couldn't help but smile.
"And you're wanting to leave. So go. You wouldn't care about what I did. You don't love me. You hate me, I know because you said it yourself after you assaulted me." His eyes were so deep, and I couldn't move a muscle.
"I'm sorry," I said, wiping my eyes and climbing from out of his arms, "I hope you and Penelope have a great time together because I give you my honest blessing. You two deserve each other." I paused before walking out the door so I could see his expression.
It was cold; sad; angry, but it wasn't any worse than mine.
"I do love you Harry," I mumbled, barely even audible that could barely hear myself.
As if on cue, he said, "I love you Anastasia. I know you won't return my love, but I know that one day you will. I will always love you."
I then began to sob and ran out of the room and away from Harry.
I just figured out that I love him and I am running away, yet another time. But that's the miracle. The miracle.. That he didn't hear me say....
I love you, Harry.