My whole body was set to ablaze of emotion. Everything felt like it was cracking. I could almost see the lines in my mind spreading and filling with blood.
I was truly going to explode.
My eyes darted over to Elliot who's eye were in a daze, ragged, wild.
"My mom. My mom. MY mom is in there. Get her out!" He shouted, running towards the burning building. "Elliot no!" I screamed. Many officers ran towards Elliot, grabbing hold of him and pulling him back. "Sir. We're sorry. We have men still in there! Calm yourself Mr. Carter.!" They shouted.
"Calm? How do you expect me to stay fucking calm when my mothers in there possibly burnt crispy! And not only that- but Rayleens birth father is in there as well!" He shouted, trying to wiggle out of their grasp.
My eyes couldnt produce anymore tears.
I was simply bleak and mellow.
How shallow could I get right?
"Survivors! We have survivors! And they're stable!" I suddenly hear from the side of the building. 4 firefighters were rushing out of the building with Link, Linda and my dear kitty Jinx. My body finally gave in and I dropped to my knees. "Oh God," I gasp, and hold my stomach.
The nausua was overwhelming. They were fine. They were okay.
Elliot held his head in his hands and sighed. "They're okay. They're alive." I whisper, nodding my head. As soon as Link is within running distance, I bolt for him and wrap my arms around his body.
Why? I will never know.
"Thank God, you're alright." I whisper into his ash covered jacket. His hands are hesitant and slowly wrap over my shoulders. "I-I didnt know you cared." He whispers in disbelief. I pause for a moment and look up at him. "Yeah, me either." I admit solemnly. We continue to stare at each other. And I embrace his appearance.
His brown eyes, and scruffy shaven face. Oval shaped.
Just like mine.
A pointed curved nose.
Just like mine.
But the awkward shaped eyeballs? Most likely my mother.
Before I can extract any other similar physical traits, a fire fighter approaches us. "Officer Link, we need to escort you to the ER." He says softly
. "I ensure you I'm alright. Just a bit shocked to say the least." He says with a soft smile.
"Sir, It's my legal duty to make sure you have been checked out. Any thing could be damaged, especially your lungs, inhaling all of that smoke." The firefighter persues.
Link takes a deep inhale and glances at me, "Very well. But I'm telling you, I'm as healthy as a horse!" He says with a sigh, and smooths back my hair.
Like he would do a daughter. He just gave me my first father- daughter gesture. Is that some type of initation? What did that mean? Why did I suddenly care? Was it because he was just moments ago to be believed burnt like a Thanksgiving Turkey? My mind continued to bicker and come up with crazy solutions, but I just remained quiet.
For now it would remain nothing.
Once we got to the hospital, I was paranoid. Paranoid, that someone might reconize my face, and remember that outburst I had weeks ago in this very place.
Screaming and shouting.
Kicking and screaming.
Acting like a complete nutcase. And then I was labeled as one and admitted for 3 days.
Linda was getting examined across from my ...father.
While Eli's father was right down the hall.
How awkward! I took that time to split off the group and head to Amy's room.
She was back in normal clothes, but was stil attached to her IV.
"Ready to come home trooper?" I ask her, and she gleams at me, throwing her blonde hair across her shoulder. "
Every red head needs a blonde as a best friend!
"Yes. I'm tired of this hell-hole. I want real food! Like McDonalds!" She says, smirking at me.
"McDonalds? Hardly food." I tease and she scoffs.
"You cant deny, they have the best mcnuggets ever!." She says, trying to grovel the fact that I didnt like McDonalds in my face. "They taste like sandpaper!" I shout, and she rolls her eyes. "Before I get into my feelings about this. What brings you back here? Miss my pretty face already." She says, batting her eyelashes at me dramatically.
"No. There was a fire at Elliot's. Linda and Link were in there." I inform, folding my arms across my chest. "Oh my God! Is Jinx okay?!" She yelled, sitting up. I practically fell into a fit of hysterics.
"I tell you my birth father and my exboyfriends mother was in a fire and all you can think about is Jinx?" I say. "And you didnt? Wait exboyfriend?" She says, widening her eyes.
"Of course I did. But I barely had time to process the thought that my father- who I didnt know existed until hours before- was possibly dead. I love Jinx, but I didnt know what to think. And yes- we broke up." I say, in a deep breath."Why!? Did he hurt you?" She says, dragging out her word. I bit the corner of my lip.
Potentially dangerous question. With a lethally dangerous outcome. "Yeah, I safeworded and he kind of- ignored it-" She stopped me right there. "What the fuck?" She screams, and I shush her. "It was the first two times!" I try to defend. Oh because that was reassuring, -5 points for Banks.
"The first two times?!" She repeated in a high pitched squeaky voice. "Listen, he knows what he did was wrong and I said we needed a break." I whisper.
She blinks at me for a moment and rubs her face, "So what? You two are taking a break for what? A week? Until he hurts you again?" She says, spatting in my face. Her words held so much truth and I was kicking myself for even defending him. "Counseling. We're going to start counseling. And it wasnt intentional. It wasnt like I was tied up or anything. He was just holding me too hard and my leg jammed into a drawer." I whisper silently.
"You want my honest opinion?" She suddenly asks.
Did I? Amy Blackwell was known for her outrageous actics. And who know's what her honest opinion was? I simply nodded slowly and she sucked in sharply, "He's no better than Andre."
Wow. That was like daggers to my tear ducts, causing tears to stream down my face.
Why? Because it was true. In some aspect. Fuck that, in every aspect. "Andre got a sick pleasure out of seeing you writhing in pain. He got off on that shit. And that's just proof Elliot does too." She whispers, motioning me to come closer to her, so she can rub my back.
"But there is a difference between the two. I'm not saying Elliot's a bad guy because he's not. I like you with him, I like how he makes you feel. The difference is- Andre is a sadistic pig, his ego is bigger than anything on him and he's clouded by his own sick fuckedupness." She pauses and I chuckle at her made up word.
Fuckedupness? Certainly a word by Amy.
"Elliot is sadistic, but he doesnt want to be that way. He wants to change, it changed when he met you. He cares more about you than himself. His own pleasure and for a guy, thats pretty impressive." She assures. I sniffle and look up at her. Her eyes hold honesty.
"So what do I do?" I ask with a shrug. Everything was jambled up and the more puzzle pieces that fit together- I was stil beyond confused on what the picture was supposed to be. What the outcome actually is.
"Wait. Take a break. With him." I blink back at her confused. "Wait what?" I ask, curiously. "You two need a break from here. Plan a trip, out of town. Just no sexual content." She says, wagging her finger at me.
"As for thearpy?" I ask silently. "Attend some sessions with him and then some seperately. Honestly to be surrounded by someone you love is very helping, but sometimes I'm embaressed to admit certain things around others. Even loved ones." She suggests, turning her head to the side.
"Okay, I can do that." I reply. Could I?
"Good, and dont worry, Elliot isnt terrible. You just need to rebuild some broken trust, before you give him your body again." She whispers.
I nodded in agreement.
For a blonde, my best friend was a freaking genuis.
I left Amy to finih getting ready for her release, her aunt was coming to pick her up and she needed to be on bed rest for a few more days. Which she was very against, saying she was fine.
Link was alright too- he just needed medicine to take every morning, to help clear any excess in his lungs.
But Linda was released on unknown terms, apparently she had specifically said to not say a word. Which I found very skeptical and curious. And usually my curiousity will bring me down a road I can barely come out of.
As Link and Linda, filed out a few more forms, Jinx was still at the Vet, getting her Princess self checked out.
Linda turned to me and gave me a soft smile. "I'm sorry." She whispered. I looked at her for a moment, her blue eyes still hazy and red. I wonder why?
"It's okay. I know that Elliot was your place to stay. But since the current conditions. You're welcome to stay at my house." I offer silently. I havent been there in awhile...I hope it isnt hot as hell..
"Thank you, but I couldnt intrude." She says, with an apolgetic smile, holding her hand up.
"No. Please I insist." I persue, smiling at her. She sighs and glances at me slightly, "Alright, just let me go tell Elliot we have a place to stay." She says and turns on her heels.
Oh lord, I completely forgot- her Sex- Sadistic- God of a son would be needing to spend the night.
Great. Just great.
Jinx was happy to come home, as soon as I put her on the floor, she darted for her litter box. Funny.
Elliot seemed uneasy and nervous as him and Linda made their way in my living room, glancing around.
They were rich, so I'm sure my mediocre looking apartment looked pathetic. "Beautiful place, you have here Rayleen." Linda says with an honest smile. "Thank you. And I'm just going to change the sheets in my bed, and you can sleep there." I inform her as I go for my hall linen closet.
"No! Just give me a blanket and I can sleep on the couch. You and Elliot can sleep in the bed." She says, with a suggestive smile.
Hah- oh nervous laugh.
Awksauce.
"Um, well, no. You and your son can share the bed. Please, you're guests, let me-" She stops me with an obvious sigh. "You two broke up didnt you?" She says in a matter of fact tone.
A brisk moment of silence. I look down at my feet, noticing the strange markings on my converse shoes.
I really should get a new pair.
"You two are grown- you guys work it out. But since you insist- I know that feeling of arguing with a man you love and the whole splitting up stuff." She pauses. Oh okay- did this just go from awksauce to awkjuice?
"So, where would you like to sleep Rayleen?" She asks me. "The couch." I say, finalizing. "You're quite stubborn. Now I see why my boy loves you so much- oops. Too soon?" She whispers and I nod, with an awkward smile.
"Well. Eli and I will sleep there. But I'm cooking breakfast. Do you mind if I freshen up a bit?" She asks, and I shake my head. "There's towels and wash cloths in the closet," I whisper and she nods and slips through my bedroom door.
Leaving us there.
Oh Boy.
"So I-" We ended up saying the same thing at the same time and then laughing nervously.
"You first." He whispers. I pause and bite my lip, "I was thinking- you and I could get away. A vacation. Maybe go to Utah or something." I whisper.
"Why? I mean why Utah?" He asks. And I shrug- yeah- why Utah Banks? "I dont know, I just figured you may want to go home." I whisper.
"No. How about the Bahamas or something?" He suggests and I nod. "Also, can we schedule counseling sessions? Soon?" I whisper. "Of course. We can go tomorrow morning and leave tomorrow afternoon." He says.
That sounded fine. I swallow and look down at my fingers. "Look, Ray, I'm sor-"
"You dont have to keep apologizing. I forgive you. For myself." I whisper and smile.
We're silent for a moment, I can feel his gaze on me. Trying to figure out, how I feel.
But ultimately I didnt know. All I felt was the numbness still.
"So any leads on how the fire happened?" I ask, trying to change the subject. "Arson." He replies quietly.
No doubt with all the enemys we have.
More silence, but luckily his phone rings. He glances down at his phone, "I'm sorry I have to take this." He says, and slips back outside. Leaving the room.
This was going to be a long night.
Around 1 am, I was restless on the uncomfortable couch, Jinx kept meowing at me and I threatned to throw a pillow at her if she didnt shut up.
Eventually I gave up and figured she was hungry. So I stood to my feet and walked the kitchen and paused when I heard sniffling.
A female sniffling.
I glanced around the corner and noticed it was Linda, bent over the table.
Was she crying? Was she sick? I mean, she did just get into a near death fire experience today for crying out loud!
"Are you okay?" I ask, all too loudly.
She shoots up straight and keeps her back turned to me. She wipes her noise and stutters, "Um. Yeah. Im. Cool." She replies. Cool? Something was up.
"Linda, look at me." I whisper.
She hesitates for a moment and slowly turns around and my eyes widen when I notice the pile of white dust splattered across the table.
"You're addicted to cocaine?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N
I would have been a horrible person if I killed of Jinx!
When I watch movies I practically rip my hair out when animals die.
Dont let me watch Marley & Me.
It's like me watching The Notebook except ten times worse.
Im back slaves!!
x
Blow this update the hell uhppp with comments and votes and such pleaseee