Noah's POV
As I turn to face the kitchen I see my father, crying on the floor, head sunk low into his hands.
Jamie gasps. I stiffen.
I can't tell if he is sober or not, his sobs sound muffled and sloppy but laced with emotion.
Real emotion, not dazed emotion.
"Dad..." I call out lightly to him
He looks up, and his eyes go large, like he is seeing me for the first time.
His eyes aren't clouded over and distant, they're here, focused, in the moment. And full of tears.
"N-noah." His voice breaks.
"Dad." I say, softly, but with confidence.
"I-I'm so s-so s-sorry." He cries out, in between sobs.
I want to say 'its okay' but I would be lying, I can't tell him that it's okay, for yesterday, for the childhood he has given me, for anything.
It's not okay.
Not yet.
I walk over to him, steadily, slowly, and crouch in front of him.
"I-I thought y-you left, and y-you w-were g-g-gone." He stutters.
"It's okay," I tell him, taking his hands in mine, "I'm here now."
This makes him sob harder, and he lunges forward, enveloping me in a hug.
It takes me aback.
It is unexpected, I haven't hugged my father in years.
But slowly, my arms go around him, and we stay there, hugging.
A real hug, one that is long overdue.
He tries to steady his breathing before talking again, "Noah, I-I'm so sorry, I have been an a-awful p-paren--"
"Dad, listen, you need to calm down, go have a shower and settle a bit, okay? I'll put on some tea, then we'll talk." I tell him firmly.
I don't want to be bossy, but I need to help him, and this is the only way it will get through.
He intakes a deep breath, and exhales slowly, still shaky, "Okay." He says, and then heads upstairs.
I turn around, and jump a little when I see Jamie. In all honesty, I forgot she was there.
"Should I go and give you guys some space? Or do you want me here?" She asks.
"Could you stay?" I respond.
As much as this should be one-on-one with my dad, I need her here. I can't do this on my own, she makes me better, stronger.
"Of course." She tells me.
I smile gratefully at her.
I dig through the cupboard and find a pot, "Can you fill this with water please?" I ask Jamie, handing it to her.
"Sure thing." She replies, before taking it.
I go to the top cupboard and reach for a box of tea, and find two; lemon and green.
"Lemon or green tea?" I ask Jamie.
"Mmm definitely green." She responds, as she rubs her stomach and stares at the ceiling, as if in a good memory about green tea.
I chuckle, she can be so cute.
I grab three mugs and put a tea bag in each, while Jamie takes the now boiled pot of water off of the stove and pours it evenly into each mug.
I take out the sugar, honey, and sliced lemon wedges and set them on the table as well.
I hear the shower turn off, as Jamie and I both take a seat at the table.
As I hear footsteps approaching, my breathing gets faster, and Jamie takes my hand in hers and squeezes it reassuringly.
My dad comes into the kitchen and sits with us at the table, he looks embarrassed.
He places a lemon wedge and some sugar into his tea, and stirs it for a while.
"Dad, this is Jamie, my girlfriend." I say, breaking the awkward silence and gesturing to Jamie with the hand that isn't holding hers.
He finally looks up and greets her with a warm smile, "Hello Jamie. I'm John. I'm sorry you had to see all this and be part of it."
"It's okay sir, and it's a pleasure to meet you." She says back to him, while I smile lovingly at her
My father turns his gaze back to me, "Noah, I know that nothing can ever repay what I did, what I have been doing since your mother died, but I need to start making a change, I want to make a change. I am so so sorry, I need you to know that. It's a simple start for all that I've put you through, but I mean it, I am truly sorry, and I do love you."
"I love you too dad, but you need help. Help that I should have given you a long time ago. Alcoholism is a problem, and we need to fix this, it's not going to be easy, but we need to do it together. This is a problem, it can be stopped though, and I'm going to help you stop it, because it's too painful for you, for me, to live with." I tell him, meaning every word.
"I know son, I am so truly sorry, and I don't ever expect your forgiveness, but I need to explain. After your mother died, I couldn't handle it. I thought I was lost, I thought I was alone. Your mom was my everything. You don't just loose someone you love that much and be fine. For a while I was okay, I realized that I still had you and your brother, I knew I still had to take care of you both and be a good dad. When your brother left for college, I realized that soon enough, you would do the same, just up and leave for college or university or wherever you decide to go. I thought that once you left, I truly would be alone; you would have a new life, new friends, and soon enough, a wife and a family of your own, and I would be forgotten. At the time I realized this, I just happened to be at a bar. I always knew I had an alcoholic problem, it started when I was seventeen and I had my first drink. I thought I could handle it now, I'm older, I'm responsible. I was wrong. After one drink it felt so good, to just rewind and release and not think about any of that, I became addicted again. That was the worst thing possible, and I am so so so sorry. This is no excuse but I needed you to hear that story."
Wow. I had no idea that my dad was an alcoholic at a young age.
I never knew he felt that way.
Sure, we were all heartbroken when mom died, but he thought we would just leave him?
Never. I would never do that.
He's right, it's no excuse, but I am glad he told me that.
"Thank you," I tell him, "for opening up, and telling me that. It's a good start."
"You're welcome Noah."
We sit there in silence for a minute, looking at one another, wondering if there is anything left to say.
"We should get going, but we'll be back tomorrow and we can talk about what we can do to get your life back on track."
My dad looks at me, then Jamie, then me again, "you're staying with her?" he asks.
"Yes. I might be for a bit longer, I just need time to process everything."
"Okay." He responds, sounding understanding but hurt at the same time.
I stand up from the table, grabbing my bag, and Jamie does the same, my dad leads us to the door.
"Bye dad, see you tomorrow." I say, and give him a hug.
"Yes, see you both soon." he replies, and then adds, "It was so lovely meeting you Jamie."
"Same to you." she says, smiling.
We walk out the door, hand in hand, while he stands in the doorway, waving, while we walk back to Jamie's house.
***************
Hey everyone! I know it has been a while since I wrote. I've been super super crazy busy and have not had much time to write. I will be taking a little break for a week or so after I post this chapter, then I'll be back with more:)
Please check out my other book on here called 'let it snow'
First of all- thank you all so so so so much for over 2100 reads that is insane. I can't believe this book has that many people interested. Thank you all!!
Second- My cousin/best friend Hailee just started a new account on wattpad so please check her out Haileeforte that would be awesome:)
And finally third- don't forget to vote comment and recommend:)
-Maxine