I sit still. His words replay in my head. What's gotten into him? He's never like this... More importantly, what's gotten into me? I never have my eyes buried in my phone. I never text frantically and I never...
Did he actually leave or am I dreaming?
"Excuse me miss." I look to my left and realise Toby is standing there waiting for me expectantly. "Where did Kyle go?"
"He left." I say as quiet as a mouse. "He left." I whisper again.
"What?"
"He was my ride." I say realising I have no way home. Home. Anywhere but here. I sink back into the chair.
"What a douche. I can't believe he left you here alone."
"Mmm."
"Luckily for you, my shift just finished. I can drop you off."
"Mmm."
"C'mon Kris." He offers me a hand. I stare at the empty seat in front of me, where Kyle sat only moments ago. "Before tomorrow please." My stomach drops. Kyle said that to me earlier. This isn't the end is it? He hasn't broken up with me... but we aren't even dating...
I take Toby's hand and we walk out of the restaurant to a bike. Kyles bike.
Even though riding it felt familiar, holding onto Toby didn't feel right. I wish I could let go, but of course he rides faster than Kyle, meaning I'd no less then die if did.
He pulls up on my driveway and I take my time taking off the helmet that I've worn so much, it smells like my shampoo. I hand it to Toby and in return, he says, "If I was your boyfriend, I wouldn't have left you."
"But you aren't. And neither is Kyle." I accidentally blurt out. Before I have the chance to regret what I said, I run into the house, up the stairs and slam my bedroom door.
I wash the makeup off my face in a desperate rush, but tears are already streaming down my cheeks. A blur of black under my eyes and bright lipstick smears over my face. I've never felt uglier, more alone and more stupid in my entire life.
I sound like I'm chocking, trying to hold back the tears, be strong, and not wake up Mum or Gran. Strangled gasps. Yuck. I'm so pathetic. This isn't the end. Kyle will forgive me. Won't he?
What if he doesn't, and I lose the only guy I've ever really cared about? Or worse... I end up alone and a crazy cat lady...
My phone ringing interrupts my upsetting thoughts. Sierra's name appears. I ignore it.
Trying to finish Chase only led to finishing me.
***
It was a miracle, but somehow I fell asleep last night. And somehow, I got out of bed. And somehow, I started walking down the street.
I don't know why. I guess I want some air, and time to clear my thoughts. I haven't tried communicating with Kyle yet. First I have to think of the right apology.
I start craving ice-cream, so I walk down to the supermarket. I laugh when I reach the path where my plastic bags broke. That was a horrible day...
By the time I've picked an ice-cream, and a second one for later... it's already been half an hour. I can't believe how picky I am sometimes. I go to the counter and pay. "Kristen? Fancy seeing you here again." A familiar voice says. Donahue.
"Oh hi." He pays for some bread and then walks with me.
"You come here often?"
"Yeah." We both laugh, but of course my laugh is half-hearted.
"I know I was only your instructor for about a week, but I can tell something's up."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Yep doll."
"Do I have to explain?"
"Only if you want to."
"I guess I've just been having a bad week, that's all. My best friend could be leaving the country, my other best friend lied to me and I caught her boyfriend cheating and now she thinks I'm lying. Then of course, last night I had my first fight with my boyfriend. I mean, friend."
"Sounds like a worse than bad week."
"Ye-eah." Why am I crying again.
"Hey don't cry." He rubs my arm. "It'll be ok. Friends and possible boyfriends come and go. Eventually, you'll find the right ones."
"Thanks Donahue."
"Call me Don."
"Ok." I stifle a laugh and he pats my hair?
"It'll be ok. I promise." He smiles, dropping his hand. "Want me to walk you home?"
"Uh, yeah sure."
***
The rest of the day, I sit alone in my room. More like lay, sprawled across my bed with my hair a complete mess. A few knocks on the door derail my train of thought but don't have the power to make me move from my comfortable position. "Hello dearie."
"You can come in Gran." I say, thinking without a formal invitation she'd stay by the door.
"You haven't come out of your room for six hours. We called you for lunch but you didn't come. So, I brought you some." She hands me a tray full of sandwiches and some Greek yoghurt. My stomach seems happy but my brain says nothing will satisfy my appetite.
"Thanks." I murmur, sit up and pick at the soft bread.
"Tell me what's wrong, darling. This is what Granma's are for." She says and sits beside me on the bed.
"I just, don't know what to do." I tell Gran everything. About Chase, about Bridgette, about Kyle.
"Why don't you go visit Lewis. You haven't seen him for a while."
"You're just trying to distract me."
"That's sometimes what you need most. A distraction."
***
Denise is leading me through the halls again. With some coffee through my system, I was ready to see Lewis again. "Now, he's been put on some new mood-altering medication."
"Hmm?"
"Anti-depressants. We call them mood-altering so they don't stand out much. We don't want Lewis to feel isolated."
"Yeah, I understand."
"Today he is in the living area. Would you like to visit him there? Or would you prefer a private room?"
"No it's fine. Is that girl he likes there?"
"I do believe so."
"So you know all the gos here huh?"
"Perks of the job." She smiles and then opens a final door. Lewis sees me and hugs me in greeting then sits on a green couch, gesturing for me to sit with him.
"I'm so glad to see you again." He beams.
"Me too."
"This is Tanika, the girl I told you about."
"Hi." She says. Tanika steps forward and shakes my hand. "I'm Tanika. It's lovely to finally meet you. Lewis talks about you a lot."
"Oh do you Lewis?" I say jokingly.
"Only good things." Tanika rephrases. We all exchange smiles. A buzzing from my pocket intrudes our increasingly optimistic conversation. I have high hopes that Lewis, and maybe Tanika, might get out of here soon.
"Excuse me." I check my phone. It's Harmony, saying that it's a code red. "I... I'm going to have to leave."
"So soon?" Lewis unhappily says.
"I'll come back."
"Would you bring your friend?"
"Sierra?"
"No, the guy. I... want to apologize."
Kyle's right. I never put him first. I jumped to the conclusion my 'friend' is Sierra without even hesitating. Maybe it's true. Maybe I'm too caught up in my own world that I can't even recognise who cares for me. Maybe...
Code red!!!!!!!!!!! Harmony retypes.
"I'll bring him. I love you Lewis, always remember that." I kiss his forehead and catch the first bus to Harmony's suburb.
It only takes about ten minutes, but finally I'm outside Harms house and knocking on the front door. She doesn't take long to answer. But instead of her face, I see Bridgette's. And eventually Harms comes. Bridgette bursts into tears. Then I do. And for the first time in four years, Harmony does too.
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For a few months, I've been writing this story. It was going well at first, you know, about a hundred views, my family and friends voting for it. It was just casual. But now, I've got 1.5k views? And more than two HUNDRED votes. I'm not a views-millionaire or anything... but to have gotten even this far... it makes me feel like an absolute boss. So thankyou for reading. Because without you guys, I wouldn't be anywhere.
Thanks,
Aurora
xxx