I sat in my English class trying to ignore someone speaking to me. We were taking a quiz and I'm sure someone was dying to cheat off of my paper. I don't like cheaters, nobody will be cheating off me. Especially since I'm probably gonna fail this since I've been just guessing which letter to bubble in for each question.
"Alexis." I heard the same nagging voice. "Lexi." He repeated. I sighed, turning further in my seat away from him and finished up my test.
As soon as I was done I stood up to bring it up, just as I was about to walk to the teacher's desk the same boy gripped my wrist making me flinch. I turned toward the boy who looked like he was begging. I sighed, "I don't like cheaters." I mumble.
"Please." He pouted. "I'll do anything you want."
I shook my head, and tried to pry my wrist from his grip but he didn't let go. If anything he held on harder.
Suddenly flashbacks of Tim clutter my memory. The day's where he would dig his filthy nails into my skin when he forced me to go somewhere. The tight grip he would have my wrist and the pain it would cause.
I didn't know I was crying until I felt water dripping from my face. I quickly took my other hand and started wiping away the tears that were spilling out of my eyes. The boy must have noticed me crying because he let go of my arm, and looked at me with sympathy. I grabbed my belongings and rushed to the teacher's desk. Throwing my test on the top stack I covered the side of my face with my hair and left before more people noticed I was crying.
When I got to the hallway, I started pacing back and forth trying to breathe.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
I kept reminding myself.
Everything is fine.
It didn't work. I felt like my lungs were giving up. I walked down the hallway to go to the nurse before I had a panic attack. My entire body was trembling in fear.
I paused from my walking when my eyesight started becoming blurry and I couldn't understand my surroundings too well. I started hyperventilating more, and my chest hurt badly.
My hands landed on a locker and I slid down it, sitting on the floor. I put my hand to my chest as I kept crying. My body shook erratically, as I closed my eyes.
I started hearing footsteps nearing me and I panicked even more causing my panic attack to become worse by the second. Nobody can see me like this. I stood up as fast as I could and started walking down the hallway as I wiped my eyes over and over. My body was sweating, and I was in pain.
I didn't know what to do. The last time I had a full blown panic attack was when I was with my mom.
As I turned the corner, I came face to face with Grayson Parker. I stopped and looked at him. He stared back at me, confused. My breathing slowed down, and I turned away from him and tried to run. But he didn't let me, he grabbed me by my waist and made me turn toward him.
"Sunshine girl, you crying?" He smirked as if this was funny.
I looked away from him, but I soon regretted it when I could have sworn I saw Tim inside this very building. It was like he looked right at me, I backed away.. "No, no, no. Go away." I said holding my hands up as I looked down the other hallway.
Flashbacks came back again to the day he tried to stick one of his needles into my arm. I couldn't breathe once again, and I felt like I was dying. "Are you okay?" I faintly heard Grayson say as he stepped in front of me.
I shook my head as my whole body shook in fear. My body started becoming weaker and I felt myself slowly start falling to the floor. Grayson was quick to grab me and pull me to him, keeping me up. "Come here." He said as his arms wrapped around me. "What's going on?" He whispers.
Since when was he nice?
"You gotta tell me if you want me to fix it." He mumbles softly as his hand rubbed my back, making me calm down a bit.
"P-panic Attack." I hiccuped. He pulled back a bit, and observed my face. Before I could reply his hand reached up to my cheek and he was wiping away my tears. His other hand grabbed ahold of mine, and held it with his.
My body slowly stopped shaking, and my breathing started to go back to normal. I didn't shift my eyes off of him the entire time, and neither did he. When my panic attack ended he dropped his hand from my cheek, and pulled me along with him. "Let's go sit somewhere." He said.
I followed him to wherever it was we were going. I didn't know Grayson Parker that well and after that day at lunch I hated him and Gabe. I may still hate Gabe, but I don't hate Grayson. Afterall, he did just help me... in some strange way.
"Where are we going?" I said my voice barely above a whisper.
"The roof." He said as his eyes looked at me for a moment, before he looked away and opened up a door that said "No students allowed."
"We aren't allowed up here." I told him as I made him stop.
"Actually I think it means, Yes students allowed. Now come on Alexis." He replied.
Again, I followed him up onto the roof. He took me over to the other side of the roof where two chairs were. I sat down in one of them and he sat down in the other. It was quiet for a bit, I didn't know what to say and neither did he. But finally he spoke, "So why did you have a panic attack?" He asked.
I sat there silent. "I don't know." I muttered as I looked off into the distance. It was pretty, I could admit that.
"Well there has to be a reason behind it, what got you scared? I've never seen you of all people sad. You live the perfect life, what's there to be upset about?" Grayson asks.
If only that were true.
"Can you stop saying that already?" I muttered.
"Saying what? That you live the perfect life, I'm not lying you know."
I sighed, as I bit my bottom lip. "You don't know anything about me to sit here and tell me what I am."
He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, "What's that even supposed to mean?" He said furrowing his eyebrows.
I stood up from the chair, and turned away - my back facing him. "Nothing." I whispered, as I started walking away. "Absolutely nothing."
I started heading to the door of the roof when I heard Grayson reply, "What? You confuse me, Deaken wait up."
I rolled my eyes. He can't just leave me alone can't he? "Parker, leave me alone." I stammered.
"I'm just trying to see if you're fine to go back to classes." Grayson said. "But first I need to know who the person was that upset you."
I scowled as I turned to face him. "How did you just assume it was somebody? I never told you it was someone."
"Well, I just had a feeling it was someone. So give me a name so I can punch their face in." He told me, a small smile starting to form at his lips.
I shook my head, "If I need someone to get punched I can easily ask Dean, Caleb, Austin, or Brett. I'd probably go with Dean though because the other three can't fight, I'd know that because I've kicked their asses a few times.. and now I'm rambling..I need to see the nurse. Bye."
I pushed open the door to the roof, and stepped into the hallway of the school. It was empty. Luck is on my side. I walked away from the door and headed to the nurses office. "Not so fast, I don't care about your friends and what they could possibly do to this person. I want to know who this person is, so I can handle it."
I sighed. "Ever thought that I didn't want you to? It wasn't even his fault that much. He just wanted to cheat off my test and I said no which made him grab my wrist. Next thing I know Gavin was tightening his hold on me and then blank, I freak. Now if you'll excuse me."
"Gavin? Gavin! I know exactly who you're talking about. See ya later Lexis... I have some business to take care of." He said as he walked right by me, quickly I grip his hoodie pulling him to a halt.
"No violence, please." I beg him. He stares at my face for about a minute, not saying a thing. I didn't know what to do so I just stared back. His stare was intense, it was like he was trying to think if he should or if shouldn't.
Finally coming to his senses, he coughs awkwardly, "Fine, I'll have a talk with him. But the minute he says something I don't like.. he's done."
I smiled, this time it was an actual smile. It was different than I normally smile. This time it actually reached my eyes without it looking forced. "How come you're doing this for me? I thought you made it clear you didn't like me?"
Grayson shrugged looking away from me, "I just think whatever upsetted you of all people must have been bad. You don't cry like that, nor do you have panic attacks like that from what I know. I don't know much about you but I know enough to comprehend that you don't just cry for no reason. Whatever made you get a panic attack must have been bad. Which is why I'm going to handle him so he doesn't do it again."
If my smile could get any bigger, I think it would have. Grayson's back was turned from me, as he stared off somewhere else. So before he walked away I wrapped my arms around him from behind and rest my head on his back. "Thank you." I said, "I don't like violence...but I'll make an exception if Gavin does something to piss you off and you use self defense." I felt him tense underneath me, and I took that as my time to let go of him before he finds my gesture weird.
He coughed awkwardly again. "Yeah, well the nurse's office is waiting for you."
•••••
I left the nurses's office after being in there for about forty minutes. It was lunch time now, so I headed in and went straight to the table I normally sit at and waited for my friends.
I sat down and rested my head on the table, I took a short nap in the nurse's office but she woke me up and let me eat lunch before lunch even started. She was planning on sending me home but when she called, Tim answered and told her that I have to stay in school. She said he said something about 'she won't get a job if she don't go to school! keep her there'
When she let me talk to him, all he did was tell me that I was probably being a 'bullshit liar' and I didn't actually have a panic attack.
"Alexis." I heard someone say as they nudged my side. "Alexis." They repeated, the nudging still going on. I kept my head down, and my eyes closed hoping they would go away. "Alexis!" The person said raising their voice, and letting out a sigh, whoever it was I can tell they were becoming agitated.
I lifted up my head coming face to face with Austin, "Hm?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
"What's going on? You missed class." He said.
"I was at the nurse." I replied, turning away from him. Austin sat down beside me and started eating his lunch. Everyone else started coming to the table also.
I didn't say much just gave my usual smiles, as they took their seats.