Ibiki came to the office early to review some files to send to the Hokage when he saw a little girl sitting on the couch. Her hands and clothes were dusted with soot, and a pile of ragged books and unsharpened weapons by her feet. Dirtied bangs covered the front of her face; the bandages on knuckles ripped, revealing scars caked in dried blood.
"Sakura?"
"Ibiki-san," she returned quietly. The tone in her voice was that of defeat, like when one gave up on life or was swimming in guilt about what they'd done. He took a seat beside her. There had been news of a fire around the civilian district, as he saw a brief overview of the incident in the morning newspaper. The street names he couldn't remember, but he felt a sense of familiarity behind them.
Now he knew why.
"You weren't home last night?" he asked. Sakura shook her head.
"I was out. I didn't know," she murmured. "I should've stayed home. I could've helped. They would've been alive."
"The building wasn't inspected properly, Sakura. There was faulty electric wiring and the heating units malfunctioned in the middle of the night. You couldn't have known about it. And if you stayed, you properly would've been caught in it too," Ibiki said.
"As long as they would've been fine."
"Just your parents?"
"All of them."
Ibiki's eyes moved to her. Her stare was glued to her lap and aside from her mouth, was completely unmoving. She was truly a child undeserving of what fate had in store for her.
"Do you have anywhere to go?"
She shook her head again. Ibiki stood first, then bent over to pick up her books. He took her book bag and other weapons, slinging the former over his shoulder. Sakura finally looked up, confusion wholly apparent in her forlorn eyes.
"Ibiki-san?"
"Come on."
The streets were still kind of empty this early in the morning giving the perfect atmosphere for Ibiki to guide her down the road. It was silent as the two didn't speak a word to each other, but is was expected. Both had lost their only family members in the past day or so, leaving them alone with only them, he noted with distaste. At least he was old enough to understand and deal with his emotions, but Sakura? She was eight.
They entered one of the many residential shinobi districts spotted around the village. Sakura, despite churning in her overwhelming guilt, couldn't help but eye the one story house they approached. She knew nothing about his home life or what he did outside of his job and was actually surprised at what she was seeing.
When they entered, it was as sparsely decorated as she expected. No clutter and absolutely no dust to be found. He opened one of the doors down the hallway and set her things down on top of the metal desk beside the door.
"I know it isn't much, but you can change it as much as you'd like later on," he said. "I have some errands to run, but I'll be back soon."
He turned to leave.
"Ibiki-san."
He stopped.
"... Thank you."
He continued walking.
"Make yourself at home, kid."
Sakura sat at the edge of the bed, looking around the room. It was much larger than her last one with a bigger bed, bigger closet, and bigger windows that let her see the few flowers that grew on the ground outside. She appreciated everything Ibiki did, but going as far as giving her a place to stay was something she didn't account for.
Slowly, she reached into her pocket and took out the note Yori had given her an hour before Ibiki to the office.
Meet me at the Forest of Death when you have the chance.
::
He was about to update her about everything that happened to Gaara. After, he wanted to discuss some more plans they'd have to collaborate on to make sure they'd implement in the near future. But it wasn't like her to be two hours late.
Sasori turned around when he noticed her presence appear near the cave he was taking refuge in. He opened his mouth to make his customary snide comment, abruptly stopping when he saw the sheer misery in her entire being. Downcast eyes, slumped shoulders, dirtied mangled appearance...
He went to her side immediately. "Are you okay?"
They both sat down against the damp wall of the cave. Sakura crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap.
"... Yeah." The back of her head tapped the rock wall. "Is that what you want me to say?"
Sasori became hyper aware as he gave her a wary look. He'd never seen her look so despondent. Of course he knew that there was damage left over from the war, but he didn't know to what extent it was. She always hid behind her smiles and certainty that he'd never been able to figure out the depth of that trauma. He could see now, in the utter guilt in herself, that it ran much deeper than he could see.
"That's what I would like," he hummed, "but I can see that's not the case. You don't have to tell me anything about it if you don't want to."
Nothing was said between them for a while. Sakura exhaled heavily and sunk further into herself. She didn't raise her head when she began to speak. "March 24th. The war was officially over, ending in the Allies' victory. People were crying, celebrating, talking about seeing their families. Me? I couldn't."
She could tell that the entire camp had the highest spirit than at any other point in the war. What could she say? After seven long, grueling years, the world was finally free. Obito was dead and they were all able to move on.
Sakura stood in the shadows of the main medical tent, staring out at all the smiling faces as she traced the scar around her neck. She would be lying if she said that she shared in their feelings of relief and ultimate victory. She felt unbearably empty compared to how she was as a teenager. In those younger years, she wasn't constantly kept awake by the cruel voice that haunted her for the past three years.
"I'll make sure to drive you insane."
She retreated back into the tent and looked around her. She grabbed her issued vest from her chair and zipped it up. Next, she tied her kunai pouch around her right thigh. As she was about to leave without anyone's notice, she thought of Shizune.
She deserved an explanation, at the very least.
Sakura whipped up a quick note and placed it on the makeshift desk, then left.
I know we won the war, senpai.
But mine isn't over yet.
It would take her two days of non-stop travel to get to the Valley of the End. She took to tapping into her Yin seal to insure she could make it before anything drastic happened to either Naruto or Sasuke. All the while she ran, the echo of that horrid voice coiled around her ear drums.
"It won't matter if I lose the war, nor when the Allies execute me."
But before she could, she had to make a stop at one of the small towns on the outskirts of Fire Country. She knocked on the door of a cozy house painted smokey green that she went to on an irregular basis. An older woman with slight wrinkles creasing her face answered, smiling at her visitor.
"Sakura."
"Yuka-san."
Yuka stepped to the side and gestured towards a room, though she knew there was no need. Sakura quickly murmured a 'thank you' and hurried into the house and towards the room. Her eyes landed on a little girl no older than three laying in bed, sleeping soundly and hugging a pillow.
"Sachiko," she murmured.
Five full heartbeats passed until Sasori realized what she was talking about. His eyes flew wide as he gaped at her with disbelief.
"You had a daughter," he whispered. Sakura nodded.
"She was conceived under... undesirable circumstances," she began. Anger spiked in the pit of Sasori's stomach for a split second, understanding exactly what she meant, "but I didn't have the heart to get rid of her when I found out. I didn't tell anyone about it and gave birth to her in a small civilian town. I couldn't take care of her because of the war and there was no one else in Konoha, so I had no choice but to find someone to do it. That's how I met Yuka-san—an inn keeper."
Sakura stood in the doorway. This was how she always visited. Never once had she met Sachiko face to face, introduced herself, nor made herself known that she was actually her mother. For a little over two years, the girl grew up thinking that her parents had died when she was a newborn, forcing her to be left in the care of her grandmother. Sakura strode forward and silently collapsed on the chair beside the bed.
"You look more worried than usual," Yuka mentioned quietly from the other side of the room. The Konoha shinobi bit her lip as she reached over to stroke Sachiko's sleek black hair.
"I..."
Tears began to fall.
"I think I know what'll happen to me next."
She hastily wiped her face with her sleeve and pulled out a small scroll from her kunai pouch. A small box was summoned from it, inside: her Konoha headband, Mebuki and Kizashi's rings and wedding portrait, a vial of her blood made to be preserved, various pictures of her and everyone else in Konoha including her copy of Team Seven's photo, and a letter explaining why she was never there.
It was locked with various seals and chakra webs that could only be opened with a specially made key.
"Yuka-san, I'd like to ask you to do one last thing for me."
The older woman smiled sadly. "Anything, dear."
Sakura handed her the box as well as the key strung on a chain alongside a cherry blossom pendant. It was the one her parents gave her when she was just a little girl herself. "Give this box to her when she's old enough. Inside, I've explained everything up to this point," she said. The tears started up again. "I know she'll be angry with me, but tell her how much I love her. Tell her I wish I couldn't been there and that if things went differently, I would've been here for her. And tell her that I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry I did this. I... I..."
Yuka gripped her shoulder, eyes molded in a definite promise.
"She'll grow up knowing that you loved her more than anything," the woman swore. Sakura thanked her profusely, then moved back to the bed. She placed a painstakingly gentle kiss on Sachiko's forehead before murmuring an apology and shunshinning away.
"I couldn't take care of her. I know I have post-traumatic stress disorder from my experiences in the war, and I wouldn't be able to provide all the support she needed in the most crucial years of her life. I'd rather have her curious about me than knowing me then losing me," Sakura sighed. "So to her, I never existed."
Sasori kept quiet to let her continue. He, personally, thought it unfair to Sachiko to have never known her mother, but he understood the course of action. Sakura had to prioritize herself first before lending her heart out to another. And after the fighting, the deaths—the rape? She was emotionally compromised.
And in all these years in the new timeline, he never knew.
She was back on the trail to the Valley of the End, Yin seal working in overdrive. The place was in her sights now and she could feel the enormous chakra clashing into each other.
"In the future, you'll be desperate for freedom from your memories. From your failures. From me."
Sakura faltered a bit, a frown on her lips. Obito told her three years ago that her resolve would come to this. She accepted with a bitter, sickening feeling that he was right about everything he told her that day.
"I won't kill you now."
She landed beside her old sensei on the sidelines of the canyon. Naruto and Sasuke were battling it out near the waterfall, both looking exhausted and determined not to lose. She kept her eyes locked on their actions.
"Kakashi. A surprise to see you here," she greeted. She saw him wince in her peripheral vision and felt his stare on her exposed scars and ignored him. "I heard Naruto and Sasuke were fighting and came as soon as I could. Is it impossible to stop them?"
"Because I know for a fact that in the midst of smiles and celebration..."
Sakura's fingers curled into white-knuckled fists.
"... with Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, or whoever else that hasn't already died..."
She straightened as she noticed a sudden change in the fighting. Each was at one end of the valley, panting and summoning the last reserves of their chakra.
"They're going to kill each other," she said.
"Aa. They are," Kakashi replied. Sakura would be damned if this was how the war was going to end. This wasn't going to be one of those war stories where the hero died so that every else could live. Naruto was the sole person to bring the Shinobi Nations to peace. And Sasuke, well, he could get that second chance Naruto always talked about.
She sent medical chakra to the tips of her fingers. "... I'm sorry, Kakashi." She forced her chakra into the base of his neck, shocking his nerves and sending most of his body into paralysis. She offered him a tired smile. "It's only temporary, I promise."
Sakura looked back to the Valley of the End. "I know it's not my place to ask for a favor, but... tell everyone I'm sorry. Tell Naruto that I believe he'll become Hokage, and tell Sasuke that I believe one day that he'll be happy. And you, Kakashi... thank you for being my sensei."
She sprinted towards the battle.
Her life? It wasn't important now. She healed thousands in the war, became the third person in the world to establish the Yin seal, had a beautiful daughter that would grow up in safety, and would use this moment to finally rid of the ghost that bedeviled her without mercy for the better of three whole years.
The fluorescent blue of the rasengan and the illuminating chidori came closer to one another, and she sped up.
At least with this, she could make up for being that useless little kunoichi who only had the eyes for boys and being nothing but a dead weight to the team.
"... I'll be able to see your pretty face again when you do the honors yourself."
And maybe with this...
She could be free?
"Sakura..."
She turned away from him fully, facing the entrance of the cave. The white symbol on her back was smeared with ash with a hole torn to break the circle.
"I didn't jump in between them for the sake of it, Sasori-san. It wasn't a last second decision, or a desperate choice. I wanted to die." She buried her face in her hands. Her voice came out in a broken trickle, like a water pipe after a rainy day. "What did I do to deserve to come back?"
::
Orochimaru carefully observed his partner. Ever since Sasori had come back from an errand, he'd been strangely quiet and troubled, keeping to himself and knitting his eyebrows whenever it seemed like something crossed his mind. It was a sudden change to how the man started presenting himself in an aloof and wondrous way.
"She changed all of a sudden," Sasori finally said. Orochimaru glanced to the side but didn't question it and let him speak. "Her smile was different, and so was her soul. Once, she poured her heart into everything she did. Poured and poured and poured and poured..."
Sasori looked up at the bright, sunny sky. "... Until even I didn't realize that she was already hollow."
::
EDITED 2/1/18