(Comment your favorite line!)
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Present
"It was my first guitar. You two got it for me. ", I explain with a harsh intake of breath.
Laura is staring at me as if I've lost my mind. The way her lips have turned blue from the coldness drives me crazy and I'm about to attack Diego and kill him for doing it this way. Out in the cold.
"Yeah. That's when you wrote your first songs as in 'Always', 'All About The Girl', 'Can't Get Enough Of You', 'Ready, Set, Rock' and 'Never'. ", Luke reminds me what was going on until the end of the summer and I nod and pull my girl to my chest.
"Why can't I remember? ", Laura's voice is shaky and I can tell she's trying hard not to sob. Sympathy in my eyes is clear as I kiss her forehead.
Shit. My ass and feet are freezing out here. Wearing no underwear on winter is such a stupid fucking idea and plus, I'm standing on these fucking slippers that are two times smaller than my feet. On the snow.
"Because Ross screw you up. He was the only one to blame. You could've ended up dead because of his temper just like every other person in that car crash. ", Diego snaps.
Heavy sound of a bullet being shot towards the sky echoes through the woods and I turn Laura away from him.
"You do realize I will fucking kill you after this? ", he growls and directs his gun towards me.
My mouth falls slightly open and before I realize what I'm doing, I push Laura towards Luke who catches her in his arms and turn to face Diego.
"Get away from here. ", I tell three of them behind me.
"But... ", Ryland protests and I give him a glare.
"I said get away. "
"No one is going anywhere. ", Diego shouts at us and shots once again. This time, it wasn't the sky who was wounded. Bullet ran past me in a split second and hit Ryland. My eyes go wide at the sight of my brother barely breathing.
"Fuck. ", Luke curses and pushes Laura onto the backseat of his van.
"Ryland! ", I yell, watching him hold his stomach with blood over his hands and his jaw snapped open.
He shots again and hits him again and I scream, running towards Diego who was only a few feet away and knocking him to the ground.
"Ross. ", Ryland breathes and I hear the shifting behind me but don't bother to look.
"Go! ", I tell them while holding Diego's hands pinned to the ground beneath me.
"Ross, no! Let me go! He will kill him. ", Laura's begging voice runs through my mind and I take in another breath.
"You're too weak to purposely kill a man, Ross. ", Diego challenges me with a small smile.
I'm fuming. He shot my freaking brother and he's telling me I can't kill a man? Maybe not a man but him is who I can murder in a split second.
"You wouldn't want to go to jail again and leave your precious Laura all alone, would you? ", smirk doesn't wipe off of his face and something inside of me clicks.
No.
"You.. ", I begin to threaten but fumble with words.
Diego uses the advantage he got and slips his wrist out of my grip, grabbing the gun and shooting towards the car that's about to leave.
Laura's scream is heard from inside of the van and my thoughts go numb as I hear the glass shatter. The same way it did when we.. When she..
Oh god.
My chest hurts and I'm suddenly overwhelmed by so many emotions that I don't even notice when Diego throws me to the side and begins to stand up. I widen my eyes and snap out of the trance that has tricked me into falling in it and grab him by his foot. He falls onto the snow and groans when his face comes in contact with the hardened surface.
"She could just easily fuck Luke and be with him. I don't even know why she chose you. You're nothing but a pathetic man who couldn't get his shit together. ", Diego challenges and I kick him in his ribs, hard.
"Stop messing with my head! ", I scream and grab the gun that's fallen next to him.
I point the thing on my enemy and he bitterly chuckles as I stand up.
"What are you going to do? Shoot me because I'm saying the truth? You will never be enough for Laura. You almost killed her, dammit. How can you be with her and hurt her this way? I know you will. You do nothing else but.. ", I cut him off by kicking his face once. He coughs and looks away.
"You don't know shit about Laura and I so I suggest you to shut up and beg for mercy if you want to live. "
I watch as the car with smashed windows leaves with Laura, Ryland and Luke in it. My eyes direct towards a small pool of blood Ryland has left and I hiss.
"All I know is that you're a shitty person and by the end of the story, she will leave your ass for sure. You were never strong enough to keep her. ", he smiles and my hands begin to shake.
"Shut up! "
"You know I'm right. "
"No! You are just trying to ruin my confidence and I won't fucking have it. "
I don't know if I should do this. I have full advantage of him and can easily blow up his head but.. I don't think I have enough strength to kill a human, not even a shitty one like him.
Who am I to judge him after all? I killed his sister and no matter how hard I am holding onto the hatred I feel for him, I know I'd react like a wolf when someone attacks his pack.
If somebody laid a finger on Rydel..
I would have lost my mind. Their house would be burning a few minutes after I find my sister just with a small stupid scratch on her beautiful face or something. I know I was a shitty brother and she was a shitty sister and we've been mad at each other and haven't talked in so long, but I can't help it. Instinct to protect my family is stronger than any fucked up emotion I had towards their behavior through years and I still love them. I loved them all this time and missed them so much but my ego wouldn't let me admit it to myself, let alone them.
So, in a way, through this sick comparison I've just made in my mind, I can relate to him and understand him. Is revenge really a solution for this problem I have with Diego? He is just a lonely man who nobody understands after all. Reminds me of someone..
I'm not lonely anymore though. I have a pack full of wolfs ready to attack if someone tries to harass me, the same way I'd defend them until the very last breath is knocked out of my lungs. Family is a holy thing where ties are too tangled, ropes too strong and knots too big to be ruined. No matter where you go and what you do with your life, it's impossible to ignore the fact that certain people have the same blood in their veins like you. It's impossible not to feel the connection because it's too fucking strong that it can kill.
"She will hate you. ", he tells me and I swallow the lump in my throat. "Like you're the worst human being on the face of Earth. "
Shot.
Bullet flies towards him and hits his leg just above the knee, creating a bloody chaos on it. I drop the gun and slip from my feet. Stupid socks. I'm not sure if I can even feel the coldness beneath my feet because it seems to be melting, burning, leaving my body as I stand before Diego in my own world of fire. Anger is the strongest source of everyone's problems.
Mines is insecurity.
What ever the fuck anyone says about me, I take it too seriously and it taunts me until the point where I want to scream and rip the hair from my scalp. Why do I care so much about what people think? Shit, I don't know but it is that way and I can't change anything about it.
Diego groans and holds his wounded leg as I just stare at him, blinking rapidly to try to get rid of the tears inside of my eyes.
"Killing me won't mean a thing to you. Nothing you do can erase the past, it can only ruin your future, too. "
Is he testing me? I can't help but think that this is some kind of sick joke thrown at me from above and everyone is secretly laughing while watching me burn.
It's alive. The past lives deep inside of you, digging into your skin with those never disappearing memories. It saves, cherishes and murders all at once.
Without hurting him farther, I curse under my breath and wrap my arms around him, carrying him towards his car and laying him on the backseat.
"Your punishment will be staying alive. It would be too fucking easy to kill you now. I will make sure you pay for what you did to Ryland. ", I growl and slam the door closed.
Within seconds, the gun is in my hand and the bag with letters in another. I sit on the driver's seat and drop them on passenger's. It's true. Death is not a punishment, it's an easy way to escape. Only cowards purposely turn to it.
I try to start the car but the junk is frozen and I begin to panic. I'm left here with him for the rest of the night. I look down at the watch on my hand that Laura got me for Christmas, only to see that it's six in the damn morning.
"Shit. "
I have my phone.
"What are you doing? ", Diego groans from behind as I hurry to dial Rydel's number. I somehow know that she's awake and worrying sick about four of us.
"Hush. ", I spit and press the thing to my ear.
"Answer the damn phone. ", my other hand moves to the button in front of me and turns up the heat because I can practically see my own breath in the car.
Shiver runs down my spine and my sister finally picks up.
"Ross! ", her breathing is rapid, just like a scared kitten in front of a mad dog that threatens to tear it apart.
"Have Laura, Luke and Ryland come back to the hotel yet? ", I go straight to the point. There's no time for fear and worry.
"No. What happened? Did you find Laura? "
"It's all fucked up. ", I explain in my own way and bite my lip. "We found her and.. She knows. Diego made me tell her. "
"Oh my god. ", she gasps for air.
"What's going on, Love? Come back to bed. I miss youuu.. ", Ellington's voice trails off.
"Ross, Ryland and Luke are in trouble. ", she explains to her drunk ass husband and I suddenly get the urge to cuss him out fir consuming such big amount of alcohol last night.
Couldn't he have had fun without drinking so much?
I know I did. Sex with Laura isn't something that could ever get boring. The way my fingers ran down her breasts and stomach until they've found the spot she craves to be touched.. By me, only me. The way we kissed deeply as she hovered over me. The way I moaned into her mouth. It will all be permanently folded in the shelf of my memories. When I sucked on her..
"Ross? Ross, are you even listening to me? ", Rydel growls into the receiver and deep red color spreads across my cheeks at the possibility of her hearing my thoughts through the line. If she was a mind reader, I would have some serious scolding right now.
"Sorry. Could you repeat it? ", my mutter seems to make her angry and she groans.
"Aren't you with them? What the hell happened? "
"Rydel. I'm in the middle of nowhere and the snow is threatening to keep me here overnight. With Diego out of all people. ", I glance at the storm outside and the heavy, big snowflakes crashing from the sky. The sun hasn't even risen.
"Are you serious? Shit, you fucking wounded me and now I'm here with you for who knows how much time? Fuck. ", Diego gapes and holds his bleeding leg while I struggle to think of a possible solution that will help both of us.
We have the same goal here, to get the fuck away from each other.
"What? Oh my god. I will send help I promise. Are the three of them coming? ", my sister's worry is overwhelming.
"Yes. I hope but you should know that Ryland isn't okay.. ", if I breathe deep enough, will that make the heavy stone fall off of my chest?
"What do you mean? "
"Rydel, there's no time for Bieber shit. Diego shot him two times. In his stomach and the second bullet went I don't even know where. I hope Luke is driving fast.. ", I grit my teeth and look back at the bastard in the backseat.
"Oh my god. ", she is so sensitive that I know she's crying right now.
"Let me know when they arrive, please. And tell me how he is. "
"Okay. Oh my.. ", she repeats.
"Stay calm. I'm counting on you. ", my smile is the evidence of my sincerity. "I love you, Delly. "
Silence on the other line has me confused and I pull the phone away from my ear to check if the call is still on. It is.
"I love you, too. Ross. Stay safe. ", she begins to cry.
"Rydel.. "
"Bye. ", my sister quickly hangs up so I don't get the chance to witness her breakdown and I sigh and stare at the phone for a few seconds before tossing it onto the passenger's seat.
I love you, too. Ross.
I'm so vulnerable right now that I might as well cry. When you're hopeless, there is nothing you can do but cry. You put all the strength, all the emotion into those stupid sobbing sounds you make so you would at least earn someone's sympathy. If you do it loud enough, maybe there's a chance someone will turn around and help you rebuild the faith that's shattered inside of you. Someone has to stop the pain. For every broken person there is a savior, just like every problem has a solution.
I don't cry though. I straighten my back against the backrest and wait. Sometimes, the problem is a solution and you are left to give your left hand to the right one and pull yourself up. The toughest time in life comes when you have to save yourself.
My eyes slowly close as I grab the gun and hold it tightly in my arms so Diego doesn't try to pull any tricks on me. I check on him to see what he's doing and turns out he's almost asleep. When he sinks into his dreams, I rip my T-shirt and lean between the driver's and passenger's seat to tie it around his leg so too much blood doesn't come out. I have to clean up my own mess. I hate him but j would never attack him in his sleep, that's just cowardice.
I sigh and darkness outside is the last thing I see, the sun slowly caressing the horizon as I try my best to picture Laura's arms around me.
Laura.
The only name that seems to be constant in my life.
Later
Noise from outside of my dream is too loud to keep me in the shell of it. Knocking sounds are snapping me out of the perfect illusion and one word is being repeated over and over again.
"Ross! ", knock. "Ross! ", knock, knock. "Wake up! "
My eyes flutter open and the first thing I see is Luke's face behind the window, covered in a small amount of sunlight. Blinking a few times, I look around to take in my surroundings.
Diego's car.
"Unlock the door. ", he says, practically mouthing and I look down to find myself naked from waist to head. I look behind the front seats to find Diego asleep with a bloody cloth on his leg.
I roll down the window and he takes in a harsh breath.
"I could barely approach. The snow around the car is a few feet tall, you know? ", Luke asks me and I lean against the backrest as if someone has hit me in the stomach.
"What time is it? ", my voice.. It's so off, so hoarse that I can't even recognize it.
"Seven fifteen. I'm sorry for coming so late. We had a problem. We had to take out the bullets from Ryland and Laura.. Well.. ", him looking away only gives me the bad feeling.
"What happened to Laura? ", I furrow my eyebrows at him.
"We had to call the ambulance. She had some kind of weird breathing attack. Everyone was worried about her and Ry. He was taken away and Laura was given some kind of stupid drink and put to sleep. I still have no news. I came to take you back. Thank god you're alive. "
What a great vacation.
How come things can't go smoothly for me only for two weeks at least?
Just a bit of peace wouldn't hurt. Fuck, please.
I study his face very well, cool air hitting my bare chest and making chills run down my skin.
"Why do you care anyway? Don't you have your own band to care about? "
"You're acting like a jerk. I only followed my dreams. ", he explains.
"Yeah? Well, I obviously don't know how that feels like. Since I never got a chance to follow mines. ", I snap and he frowns.
"Why are you being so hard on me? We used to be best buddies and I didn't do anything to you. "
"I sometimes wish that I could just wake up with amnesia and forget about those stupid little things. ", I smile a smug smile.
"When words are knives, it's hard not to forget. ", he copies my expression and we just stare at each other.
"You listen to my music? ", we both say at the same time and laugh immediately.
"We grew up making it together. ", Luke's fist slightly hits against the window and I smile and sigh.
"I.. I shot him. We need to take care of him now. ", I mumble and look away.
"Why don't you have a shirt? ", he grimaces.
"It's on his wound. "
Luke stays silent and shakes his head. "No matter what you say, you are such good friend and enemy all at once. You shouldn't be that good to everyone. Most of people don't deserve it. "
"You know how they say. Threat your friend well and your enemy even better. ", I snap my fingers and Luke laughs.
"Wait here. I figured you'd need your coat and I brought it to you. ", he walks away and comes back with my black coat within seconds, handing it to me through the window. .
"Thanks, Hemmings. "
"It was nothing, Lynch. ", his grin makes me bite the inside of my cheek.
"Help me clear the snow around the car? ", he asks.
"Sure. ", the coat is on and I feel like a kitten that's found its way to the fire in the cold night.
"Remember that time when I got stuck in the puddle of mud and you tried to help me push the car out of it? ", Luke asks me.
"How can I forget? "
I begin to remember what happened only minutes before that..
Past
Back to July 8th. Evening. At Courtney's house.
"This shit is awesome. You two are the best. ", I say to Laura as I roll my fingers down the strings.
"I know. ", she smiles and leans back on Courtney's bed. "Why are you here, by the way? "
My eyes snap back to hers. "Didn't Courtney tell you? I'm joining the sleepover. "
"What? ", pure unbelief in her voice makes me want to tease her.
"Don't worry. Makeover shit girls like to do at these kind of occasions won't bother me. I can give you one even. ", her mouth opens to speak but I raise my hand to silence her. "Don't ask. Let's just say I've been Rydel's dolly ever since I was born. "
Her giggle immediately has me thinking what other funny thing I could say just to hear it again.
"I just know you were having so much fun. ", she smiles and closes her eyes.
How are her lashes so long? It's so beautiful.
"Play me something. ", Laura pleads and I laugh.
"Don't you have Luke to play for you? "
"I want an original song and he still doesn't have a band. You do. "
"Nope. My siblings and I still aren't an official group but I think you gave me the idea for the name. ", I sit up next to her and lean my back against the pillow, still holding tight onto my guitar.
"Really? What idea? "
"R5. ", I smile. "You know, cause our names and Ratliff's last name start with an 'R' and there is five of us. "
"Oh look. Smart things actually can come out of your mouth. ", she teases and I roll my eyes.
"Shut up. But I do have songs. How about this one. "
In the back of a taxi cab,
One quick turn, you were on my lap
We touched hands and we pulled them back, yeah
I want you bad
And even though it should be so wrong,
I
can't help but feel it strong
'Cause the way you turn me on
Like a light switch
I might just go crazy,
'Cause you're my best friend's baby,
But you got me thinking, maybe, just maybe,
I don't know what to do.
My lips part under the tension when I finish half of the song and Laura has the same stupid expression on her face.
"It's just some shit I've been working on lately. Still haven't finished half of the song. ", I nervously laugh and Laura smiles.
"It's good. You're great. You should be really thinking about making a career for yourself. ", she encourages me.
"Why thank you, Laura. ", I smile back and pinch her cheek.
"You are adorable. ", I murmur and she raises a brow at me. I feel my cheeks immediately reddening. "I mean no, actually yes but not in a way that you think I meant it. It's just that you're.. Adorable. ", I ramble and she laughs and runs her hand through my hair.
"Calm down, dude. "
She's running her fingers through my hair and telling me to calm down?
My eyes are drawn to hers by this unexplainable force and I can't seem to look away. Neither can she. I put all the energy I have into reading her mind through the brown of her eyes but I miserably failed in my attempt to do so. She's harder to read than I thought. Or maybe I'm just a shallow reader.
I need to get closer. I want to.
But I've got to remind myself that he's Luke Hemmings and I'm Ross Lynch. He has her and I'm destined to sit in his shadow and watch, knowing the sunlight will never catch me there but not bothering to move anyway.
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(Sorry for not updating in two days I was just really busy with my finals for this semester. I hope you guys can forgive me and that you liked this chapter 👌 now I'm on my winter break{finally} which means, guess what? More updates! Not only on this book though.😁
Ilysm!!!❤❤)